4 Hours Of Thc-meditation

[Falk]

I first meditated 30minutes just to watch myself & to calm down and feel totally comfortable in my body.

Then i smoked 0,4g weed (starting with a small amount, since i haven´t smoked in over 10 years)

In the following 3+ hours i had an amazing meditation session, that i would describe best as a mix between unique insights & very deep shadow work, allowing me to dig deeper into my subconscious mind then i was allowed in before ... (i kept a script which is over 4 pages, this is just picking out some of the more interessting stuff that isn´t too personal or irrelevant for the readers)

 

Part 1 : ramping up

-feeling a bit "warm" and tingly thougts come in like i don´t think them but they start coming in, i enjoy it and let them come...

-fear of beeing excluded from the group leads to dependency and is probably amongst the top3 reasons for not leading a happy life

-the true tragedy of life is that things change so slow. Anything that can speed up the process of change is extremely vauluable!

-I don´t have to be fearfull of beeing myself, I am ok!!  (this one is hard to explain, but my bodyimage changed after this and i felt like a bad "ghost" had been excorcised)

-A Scientist of consciousness!! ..that is what i want to be , i can´t think of anything more inspiring to do in life

-Language is extremely important. The incredible significance that language has on who we think we are and how our society is structured is often overlooked in everyday life - like water to a fish. Our language is like a coding language that has a controlling function.  Note to myself: i want to investigate into the field of NLP...

Part 2 : connection 

-i could suddenly feel who i am, it was like a structure of light. I also noticed how afraid i usually am of beeing who i know i am. Wow! OMG all these years and i could not see this ...this is groundbreaking. I don´t have to be afraid...

-Memories of beeing locked into my room as a small child came up. I remembered how i also had a very clear understanding of who i was back then, and it actually didn´t change in its essence compared to now. I wondered how i lost this feeling of presence over the years...

-I regained access to my source , can´t describe this

-this is fantastic!! WHAT!

Part 3 : euphoria

-Extreme inspiration suddenly came over me now: i want to solve the riddles of the world, what if everyone could access that source? What if i could find a way to make everyone connect to that empowering state? 

-it will be the dawning of a new age of mankind (lol now i chuckeld to myself noticing that i might have gone megalomaniac  but i allowed more thoughts and ideas to flow in)

-i wanna be an explorer of the human consciousness not more and not less

Part 4 : creative flow

-now i had the idea of building an "verbalizer" (a machine that can translate thoughts directly into a kind of readable code that can be processed into actions then ... i noticed that the body - in a sense - is that machine lol )

-Now i elaborated on the metaphor of language as a code and thought..."We have to become writers of our own code , not just readers of code of others"

Part 5 : more insights...

-Then it struc me : i am dishonest!!! I am a fraud! i am censoring my own thoughts all the time!! i noticed that when a thought came up that was in a sense considered "bad, offensive, or even insane" i instantly blocked that thought! WOW!! i never was able to see that so clear and "in flagranti" observe myself doing that, i also specualated that i do it and normaly can´t see it then probably all people are doing it ...and this makes society deeply "corruped" and controlled in a negative way.

-Self-censoring is a huge issue! our whole society would benefit from it if we could find a way to open up these self-corruption-mechanism!!

- "the last consequence of thinking is becoming insane"  suddenly i came up with this sentence, it totally made sense to me

-i played around with different thought of "what if our society is just an experiment on how people react to fear-inputs , similar to an experiment were you can observe rats change their behaviour whilst getting electroshocks" i didn´t really think this is what actually happens, but i toyed around with the thought and explored the implications...found it quite interessting and usefull as a metaphor

-I noticed how primitive 90% of my thought patterns are , I´m basicly an ape i thought ...there is not much difference. I felt like i just leveled up my intelligence-state..looking back on a more primitive version of myself ... wow!!

-humans spend 95% of their time slightly below the threshold of beeing conscious

-if you can´t controll someone with fear you can just flatter him to controll his actions

Part 6 : Relaxation & Calmness

at this point i stopped taking notes since i felt exhausted and i just let go and meditated untill i slowly noticed that i feel "normal" again , the frequency of unique thoughts lowered and then around midnight i went to sleep since i had to work the next day  (which btw was an amazingly relaxed working day i felt quite ...like ...like a lot of tension i usually feel in normal life has just gone , i will wait 7 days and then repeat the meditation  

hope you enjoyed reading this a bit 

[Falk]

I know  weed is out ..5Meo is the only true substance to gain insights  jk i´m still a big fan of just meditation itself ...also taking action in life is probably even better then meditation ...and maybe i´m wrong?! ...had anyone had experiences with meditation for a long time without any "modification" vs "weed" vs say with "5meo" ?