How to accept the fact that girls who reject you and date other guys are not yours ?

[Rishabh R]

Hi, a 22 year old engineering student here . I have been mistreated by girls a lot since, my school days . Even emotionally bullied .Any idea people as I have been rejected a lot and they treat me like bullshit . However , I have worked on my dating life , got abused both by girls and boys , got threatened  girls. How do I move on ? How do I get over the trauma of being rejected by girls in the past ?By the way I am thinking that after bad good comes in life and I am responsible for getting jealous of those girls who are dating guys. Yesterday , I consulted my psychiatrist and he said that I am being succeding in my life beyond his imagination . And also a final note - Am I making an assumption that good things won't come in my life ? Is cognitive behavioral therapy suitable for this situation ?

Edited June 4, 2023 by Rishabh R
Forgot to include a line

[Leo Gura]

Who gives a fuck? Just talk to more girls.

Stop caring at all about rejection.

Let 3000 girls reject you. Just stop thinking about it and get on with life.

Edited June 4, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Rishabh R]

@Leo Gura thank you.

[Salvijus]

How do you make peace with anything that you don't like? Just by putting your awareness on it and ? allowing ? it to be without any resistence. Soak in it conciously until it gets resolved in the light of your awareness. 

Edited June 4, 2023 by Salvijus

[Something Funny]

@Rishabh R you weren't bullied by "boys" or "girls". You were bullied by very specific retards who have names and surnames. Don't let this shitty past experience make you develop limiting beliefs towards the whole gender in general. Notice how for each girl that has bullied you, there are 100s who didn't do anything to you, or treated you okay, or nicely.

[Rishabh R]

@Leo Gura So I must be optimistic that a girl will accept me one day ?

[Rishabh R]

@Something Funny thank you . This is a good way of thinking .

[Chives99]

their loss man congrats on having the courage to talk to them and ask them out, now use that confidence to go and talk to more girls, the only way you can fail is by acting like a victim and being negative. Be positive most people arent so when people notice a difference its a real nice change.

[Rishabh R]

@Chives99 thank you .

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHfAMh6Edm4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwcuLLBUBiA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9jUdynifAk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IqVDvnDEJU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMChZC2fopI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hOwNudcVgI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEwQO3IIddI

 

[Princess Arabia]

6 hours ago, Rishabh R said:

Hi, a 22 year old engineering student here . I have been mistreated by girls a lot since, my school days . Even emotionally bullied .Any idea people as I have been rejected a lot and they treat me like bullshit . However , I have worked on my dating life , got abused both by girls and boys , got threatened  girls. How do I move on ? How do I get over the trauma of being rejected by girls in the past ?By the way I am thinking that after bad good comes in life and I am responsible for getting jealous of those girls who are dating guys. Yesterday , I consulted my psychiatrist and he said that I am being succeding in my life beyond his imagination . And also a final note - Am I making an assumption that good things won't come in my life ? Is cognitive behavioral therapy suitable for this situation ?

No one can tell you what you are assuming about yourself, only you can know that. The fact you are asking should tell you something. Your self-concept and assumptions you have about yourself can determine how people act towards you. Try developing that. Try seeing yourself how you would like others to see you. Try giving yourself the love you'd like to receive. Understand that people who bully you are just projecting their own insecurities unto you. You are living more in the past and future and you are just re-traumatizing yourself over and over again by thinking about the bad experiences you had with girls. There is only one moment and each time an event is remembered, it is being re-created. When one event is being remembered the other is not. Time is only the now. An event only exists when you remember it. Start to imagine wonderful times with girls, imagine you having lots of success with women and see yourself as worthy of love. Don't see it as a rejection but as an opportunity for another door to open. You have to give to yourself what you feel you are lacking because giving is receiving.

 

[Rishabh R]

@Princess Arabia thank you . So, it is good for me to question assumptions about myself.

[Princess Arabia]

2 hours ago, Rishabh R said:

@Princess Arabia thank you . So, it is good for me to question assumptions about myself.

We're always making assumptions about ourselves and others. Nothing is set in concrete in the 3D and our assumptions are building blocks to help shape the reality we want to experience. We are doing this consciously or not. So why not assume things you want to see, but you have to rest firmly in that assumption. We are creating our lives based on our beliefs and assumptions. Everything is imaginary. We are imagining our lives away. Things will formulate around you to fit into your bubble and you will attract or repel circumstances that are similar o the frequency you're vibrating on. Where you put your attention is where you put your energy so if you're focused on negativity, you are attracting more things in your life that will match that frequency. Try to study the Universal law of Assumption and you will understand this in more depth. It's a work in progress so take it easy on yourself. 

[Rishabh R]

@Princess Arabia sorry but I was not talking about that. I think that Leo's video -Assumption is the mother of all 

--- ups will be helpful .

 

[TheCloud]

Invest in yourself.  Right now, you're looking at women who reject and bully and abuse you.  Doesn't that mean that your standards are wrong?  Then the question is, why are your standards wrong?  Because you haven't been investing in yourself.  You lack self-confidence.  You're a desperate scavenger or opportunist, sneaking and begging for what you want, waiting for leftovers or a sign of weakness.  Cruel women will despise you, kind women will pity you, but only desperate women will want you.

 

Even if that's not true in reality, it will be true in your own mind, and what's true in your mind will inform your reality.  You need to invest in yourself so that cruel women can learn kindness from you, and kind women can learn desire from you, and desperate women can learn hope from you.  Or something like that.  Will CBT help you?  Probably.  It's an investment, at least.

[integral]

Get a Girl Friend. Thats how you deal with it. 

Edited June 5, 2023 by integral

[Jacob Morres]

Well his question is about trauma healing. 

While going out and doing pua, and getting a gf has their unique value

I think things like trauma focused-CBT, mindfulness meditation, IFS, inner child work is whats applicable here 

 

Edited June 5, 2023 by Jacob Morres

[Jacob Morres]

23 hours ago, Salvijus said:

How do you make peace with anything that you don't like? Just by putting your awareness on it and ? allowing ? it to be without any resistence. Soak in it conciously until it gets resolved in the light of your awareness. 

????

[mr_engineer]

Actually, they are yours. You can decide that they're 'your people'. Just not sexually. 

[LSD-Rumi]

Who cares? If she rejects you, it is her loss or at least not compatible with you. Don't get attached to one girl, try hitting on every girl you see. If you are bold and charismatic, there is no real problem with rejection. I take rejection like acceptance, don't take it personal, just move on. Be a Crocodile, desensitize yourself from negative emotions.