Why Do You Need To Be Perfect/Complete?

[CARDOZZO]

I was on a contemplation when of a sudden I became aware that I want to be perfect and complete.

Trying to be perfect is the virus inside myself.

How do you deal with that?

I see a lot of people just living and I have to perform like a crazy to accept myself.

• Why do I need to be perfect for woman? (Looks, Money, Game)
• Why do I need to be a high status man?
• Why don’t I accept myself just as a human being?

Do you suffer from carrying this weight all day?

I have a strong ideal above myself that is literally fucking heavy to carry.

I don’t want to sound like a victim but if you guys have some way of being peaceful, abundant and complete while mastering stage orange (SD), please let me know.

 

 

[UnbornTao]

I'd phrase the consideration as: Why do you (everyone) feel lacking, that sense that something is missing?

Could be caused by existential assumptions about being an inner one with his private little world.

Assuming things have consequences!

Edited June 4, 2023 by UnbornTao

[CARDOZZO]

2 minutes ago, UnbornTao said:

Why do you (everyone) feel lacking, that sense that something is missing?

Well described.

I’m feeling the burden because I’m on the path to master stage orange (business, pickup, gym)…

Now I see why resilience is a powerful tool.

[CARDOZZO]

Also, if you want to share your perspectives to master stage orange while being a Sage.... 

I'll be happy to read it.

Edited June 4, 2023 by CARDOZZO

[universe]

The need for perfection comes from a want to control.

You strive for perfection in order to avoid losing control.

You can release that need easily via the Sedona Method for example.

 

Instead of feeling this need to control things and feelings of lack like @UnbornTao mentioned, you could aim for higher emotions such as feeling abundance and feeling complete.

You can only get these feelings now, when you give them yourself.

[SOUL]

This is the very root of desire, a yearning for something, an emptiness, a lacking and to quench this 'feeling' and 'experience' is the cessation of self suffering. Realize completion and perfection so it quenches the existential yearning, it satiates that desire which keeps the wheel spinning in our soul thus the infinite stillness can emanate from our being. It is pure holism.

 

[Schizophonia]

You're not the only one here with an inferiority complex.
The strange and yet recurrent mania of linking spirituality to "personal development", should put you on alert. 

[CARDOZZO]

@universe I’ll use Sedona Method.

[CARDOZZO]

@Schizophonia Knowing how to live in the paradox of Being and Becoming is a challenge for people thriving on the self-actualization path ?

[CARDOZZO]

@SOUL I’ll contemplate more.

[SOUL]

10 hours ago, CARDOZZO said:

@SOUL I’ll contemplate more.

Or contemplate less. Our ego is the master of lacking always seeking something else to fill its identity. Always one more thing to do or have to be complete.

The only real step in finding completion is stop looking for it and just be it because we are already it.

Then everything we do is an expression of fullness overflowing into every facet of life. We are so complete that we pour out the abundance of existence instead of try to fill a hole that doesn't exist.

Edited June 5, 2023 by SOUL

[Moksha]

Perfection isn't what people think it is. It's about alignment, or getting out of your own way. The more conditions you place on existence, the less perfect life will be. Live unconditionally, in the flow state, and the absolute will experience its creation perfectly through you.

[ValiantSalvatore]

18 hours ago, CARDOZZO said:

I was on a contemplation when of a sudden I became aware that I want to be perfect and complete.

Trying to be perfect is the virus inside myself.

How do you deal with that?

I see a lot of people just living and I have to perform like a crazy to accept myself.

• Why do I need to be perfect for woman? (Looks, Money, Game)
• Why do I need to be a high status man?
• Why don’t I accept myself just as a human being?

Do you suffer from carrying this weight all day?

I have a strong ideal above myself that is literally fucking heavy to carry.

I don’t want to sound like a victim but if you guys have some way of being peaceful, abundant and complete while mastering stage orange (SD), please let me know.

The resent insight I had from my birthday, as I changed values was that perfection is simply a construction of design regardless of evil&good, yet it was only cognitive, and how I constructed this partially, by the level of consciouness I have. I had this "virus" in me last couple of years like an optimization hunt for more perfect and more and more. Just to cope with the inevitabillity of not beign enough, to stay with the best, be the best which can even be healthy. The idea of exellence also helped me to tone down these feelings, and still having high standards, even when I do not make it. 

For me the feeling of perfection comes close to the feeling of completion, and also the never-ending completion of things, and again how this is by design.... on a day to day basis, especially completing something big as well as multiple things. This is heavily amplified under the use of psychdelics. 

To create inner abundance and gratitude are great ways to deal with orange, orange is a very kind and warm-hearted stage, it's underappreciated at times I find. They just can't comprehend higher emotions at times, and act odd they are very eager to jump to enthusiasm and joy as emotions imo.

Perfection I intuited (I did smoke some cannabis a small amount and drank red wine...) is the self-controlled design of the universe the will of what is so to speak, yet it was only a baby type of contemplation. I did not sit there for hours fully realizing this etc. 

• Gratitude and compassion
• Self-acceptance and self-love
• Be aware of the ego backlash of it
• Creating these states from scratch often, just presume you can and you can (Ralston paraphrased) imagine it and invent it

For me the most recent emotional insight is how closely perfection & self-controlled are tied, and how accepting letting go of control and acting from a place of self-control and temperance is a wise thing to do. I was deeply inspired by shaolin monks as a kid.

Edited June 4, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[UnbornTao]

On 6/4/2023 at 2:18 AM, CARDOZZO said:

Well described.

I’m feeling the burden because I’m on the path to master stage orange (business, pickup, gym)…

Now I see why resilience is a powerful tool.

I have yet to look into this "lacking" sense but it seems to be present for pretty much everyone regardless of stage. Might be related to a fundamental not-knowing that we've mistakenly taken to be a malady.

On 6/4/2023 at 2:39 AM, CARDOZZO said:

Also, if you want to share your perspectives to master stage orange while being a Sage.... 

I'll be happy to read it.

I don't consider myself to be a sage yet nor have I mastered stage orange, sorry. I may be able to throw some questions around that will hopefully facilitate our investigation here. If you want that, refer to the questions on my first reply.

Edited June 20, 2023 by UnbornTao

[ValiantSalvatore]

19 hours ago, CARDOZZO said:

Also, if you want to share your perspectives to master stage orange while being a Sage.... 

I'll be happy to read it.

If it helps there is no end to mastering something. I would enjoy the spiritual journey and the positives and negatives about stage orange and make progress as well as improve upon things you value. That feeling of perfection etc. I noticed this, especially when I did atheltic type of training. 

I am not very good at orange, I did a course by wilber for me it sounds also like you enjoy the drive for exellence to have something exactly as you'd like to have it and feel the joy of being "proud" of things X achieved internally based on values. I have a strong exellence drive instead of achievement drive for example I found out in this course. So I tend to beat myself up for performance this is common.

A good re-frame is also to realize positively, many go through the feelings of not beign perfect, if you don't know one, I can for sure admit, yes I have the same issue although. I was forced to let go of it due to life circumstances, it's a strong feeling to push and push forward and create results.

Stage orange is also very dominante in our culture, Wilber mentioned in the course that it is a strong cravings for achievement, completion, exellence etc. Based on the achievement and exellence "emotional drives" versions of the course. Many human beigns strive for exellence the striving part is healthy considering other psychology books, making it about perfection can turn neurotic I've been there and it's stressful. I also land there at times, accepting this and just coming back and working on the high ideal. Making adjustments etc. is good. 

I burnt myself out etc. Perfection is quiet toxic when not treated metaphysically imo. Exellence and very good preperation helps. It's also normal to have these cravings, especially at higher stages. Wilber was jacked af. Ralston did martial arts which is red according to theory. 

I would look for deeper and higher qualities in activity x. If you enjoy the gym and business, what values do you see you enjoy and what emotions do you enjoy the most? 

Is it the health, vigor and vitality? Is it the recognition from others? Is it a social feeling of well-beign? Is it the level of autonomy in business? Is it the feeling of overcoming obstacles? Is it the feeling of love, when you aid/help person X/Y and or compassion? Is it the metaphysical aspect of beign a sage, that you can bring into your businesss/gym session? Is it the lower feeling of domination that you enjoy? Even having dark fantasies is fine imo, as long as it does not kill and or hurt anyone. I enjoy dominating a lot, I have to be wary to not be toxic, and at best I express this as exellence also. 

Hope this gives some ideas, I would not run into optimization frenzy, and simply enjoy the healthy qualities you can find that is quiet human. 

What I also notice is how perfect just happens through mastery, and agreements when I work with others and I make a very good suggestion, they just say perfect! As well as perfecto! etc. It's a normal feeling at times imo...

If you'd like it a bit more "Woo Woo" in the enneagram there is a personality type that is called 1, like 1w9 and 1w2 and 2w1 and 9w1. These embody perfection as a human form, I did a course at integral there, they explained it and I contemplated this stuff for a while and learned a good deal. I get a long for examples with 1w9's very well. 

Edited June 4, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[SOUL]

7 hours ago, Moksha said:

The more conditions you place on existence, the less perfect life will be. Live unconditionally, in the flow state, and the absolute will experience its creation perfectly through you.

Beautifully said yet if I were to amend one aspect of this it would be that the conditions one places on existence the less perfect life that is it perceived as.  The perfection of life doesn't change because of the conditions one would place on it but the perception of life will appear less than perfect to those who use a conditional filter to view it.

Does this make sense?

[Ayham]

I have this, I get it, I have too high standards for myself, no matter how much I achieve materially, spirituality, physically, mentally, I always feel that I am not enough and there is more to do. 

In a sense it helps me do stuff, even if it is an unhealthy or neurotic way, but at some point we need to let go of that and accept ourselves exactly as how we are, even if we are terrible, and from that place we can set all the goals we want. 

How to do that? it would require lots of spiritual practice, especially things like acceptance, present moment, Eckhart Tolle stuff, etc. 

But for me, I think as long as I continue doing what I am doing, at some point I will outgrow this, so that's what I am doing 

 

[CARDOZZO]

@Ayham

I saw that Peter Ralston has an workshop called “Being Complete”.

Also I get conscious that I have inferiority complex and I’ll get some help.

[CARDOZZO]

@SOUL Makes a lot of sense ?

[CARDOZZO]

I’m really grateful for all you guys trying to help me out.

Your perspectives are important.

I’m on a better situation right now.

Edited June 5, 2023 by CARDOZZO