How to deal with disrespect from a girl

[StarStruck]

I find it extremely disrespectful when I text a girl and she doesn’t respond. I have enough girls in my rotation to not care and just carry on but I see these girls in and about and I don’t know how to act. 

My natural inclination is “ow you act like I don’t exist so I will act like you don’t exist” but I feel guilty about it.

Yesterday I encountered a girl who doesn’t respond to my text but does acknowledge me in person and she wanted to dance. I don’t feel like dancing with her anymore but I did for a little bit.

Usually very hot girls do this. There is another girl who I know from the supermarket and she didn’t respond to my text when I texted her but when I see her she is always eager to say hi, and shows signs of interests but I’m not interested in talking to her anymore and I keep it short hi and just move on while she is still standing there.

So do you think I’m overreacting when a girl doesn’t text me back? How would you guys deal with such situations? 

Edited June 2, 2023 by StarStruck

[puporing]

I just tell them the truth and then grieve (if I have to) and move on. And focus on people that will actually engage with you respectfully instead. idk to me it's way more closure to just tell them what you felt about the texting and to be explicit about "ending further interactions", without expecting anything in return. 

This is how I deal with weird customers too lol (in terms of being disrespectful..).

And it's not an overreaction, whatever you react with is the truth at that moment, it means you developed some attachment. It's better to just be super honest with yourself and not skip the "grief stage" because that tends to build up as repressed anger.

Edited June 2, 2023 by puporing

[Spiral]

Maybe you are a boring texter. Hot girls have tons of guys text her. 
 

It better not to be attached to the outcome of a girl texting you than being petty when she does not.

Edited June 2, 2023 by Spiral

[meta_male]

59 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

So do you think I’m overreacting when a girl doesn’t text me back? How would you guys deal with such situations? 

It really depends on what you text them.

1 hour ago, StarStruck said:

There is another girl who I know from the supermarket and she didn’t respond to my text when I texted her but when I see her she is always eager to say hi, and shows signs of interests but I’m not interested in talking to her anymore and I keep it short hi and just move on while she is still standing there.

If she's eager to talk to you then just tell her she still owes you a response in a lighhearted way, but don't act like nothing happened.

[StarStruck]

3 hours ago, Spiral said:

Maybe you are a boring texter. Hot girls have tons of guys text her. 
 

It better not to be attached to the outcome of a girl texting you than being petty when she does not.

I already had rapport with her for 3-4 hours times 3 encounters. It is not hard to respond to "hi what is up?", perhaps it is boring.. but still it is a matter of respect from my point of view. Perhaps you are right, she has pretty privilege and gets a lot of guys texting her. I need to work on my text game.

4 hours ago, puporing said:

I just tell them the truth and then grieve (if I have to) and move on. And focus on people that will actually engage with you respectfully instead. idk to me it's way more closure to just tell them what you felt about the texting and to be explicit about "ending further interactions", without expecting anything in return. 

This is how I deal with weird customers too lol (in terms of being disrespectful..).

And it's not an overreaction, whatever you react with is the truth at that moment, it means you developed some attachment. It's better to just be super honest with yourself and not skip the "grief stage" because that tends to build up as repressed anger.

Good points about the grief stage. I have to act more according to my natural inclinations. Usually I don't have the need to verbalize things, my inclination is to return her silent treatment. Some girls try to get my attention again but I don't go back if I cut you. Probably this is because of repressed grief/anger that gets activated and that I project onto the other person, and I just don't want to deal with it.

3 hours ago, meta_male said:

It really depends on what you text them.

If she's eager to talk to you then just tell her she still owes you a response in a lighhearted way, but don't act like nothing happened.

I don't think she owes me anything. She is not my gf. 

[meta_male]

1 hour ago, StarStruck said:

I don't think she owes me anything. She is not my gf. 

You feel like she owes you respect.

[StarStruck]

31 minutes ago, meta_male said:

You feel like she owes you respect.

Not at all. 

[Valach]

@StarStruck Since when is girl not texting back considered a disrespectful?

Edited June 2, 2023 by Valach

[puporing]

5 hours ago, StarStruck said:

I already had rapport with her for 3-4 hours times 3 encounters. It is not hard to respond to "hi what is up?", perhaps it is boring.. but still it is a matter of respect from my point of view. Perhaps you are right, she has pretty privilege and gets a lot of guys texting her. I need to work on my text game.

that sounds super weird to me honestly, unless someone's a luddite and don't text. It's not hard to just say "Hello, I don't wish to text", but yeah people are so bad at communication sometimes when it comes to "saying no" and it actually hurts the other person more with the silent treatment.. but yeah in any case it's possible they just haven't learned how to "say no" politely so I hope you can find room to forgive them too.

There are also ones that want a much more "casual relating" and so they minimize certain communication channels. But if that's not matching with yours then it will not work and you'll always feel like you're chasing a ghost or something.

Edited June 2, 2023 by puporing

[NoSelfSelf]

You have a rotation and cant handle not being texted by a women what is this sorcery ?

[Juan]

5 hours ago, meta_male said:

You feel like she owes you respect.

This is a good point, if not you wouldn’t be complaining about it, it’s like: “oh yeah?! you don’t want to text me back?! Well imma tell you or do this!”, is not necessary nor attractive, you move on. I learned from the book “The 4 Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz, whatever somebody said or do to you, is not really about you persé but rather how they see you trough their “screen smoke mirror” or their perception, so I move on if they don’t text and respect it, it’s like asking forcefully for attention.

P.S. If you’re a creative person, you’d be amazed by how some of these people text you back once they see you creating cool stuff. 

Edited June 2, 2023 by Juan

[Raze]

Stop taking it personally, girls get tons of texts and offers and won’t always respond

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y73pYVYthOA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5l0ozue3HJY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqBA2OqBC2w

Edited June 2, 2023 by Raze

[StarStruck]

2 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

You have a rotation and cant handle not being texted by a women what is this sorcery ?

It is not hard to understand. She is the hottest. 
But obviously that is not the be all end all of things. 
 

3 hours ago, puporing said:

that sounds super weird to me honestly, unless someone's a luddite and don't text. It's not hard to just say "Hello, I don't wish to text", but yeah people are so bad at communication sometimes when it comes to "saying no" and it actually hurts the other person more with the silent treatment.. but yeah in any case it's possible they just haven't learned how to "say no" politely so I hope you can find room to forgive them too.

There are also ones that want a much more "casual relating" and so they minimize certain communication channels. But if that's not matching with yours then it will not work and you'll always feel like you're chasing a ghost or something.

That is what I’m thinking too. Some people here think I feel entitled to her texts. No I don’t. I’m just asking how I should act to her composure.  

I guess my care % for her drops from 60% to 10%. The weird thing is that the less you care the more you are valued. 

And it is not a tactic. I truly care less for her. I don’t know why I should contemplate about her doing well in life like Juan proposes in the text below. 

2 hours ago, Juan said:

This is a good point, if not you wouldn’t be complaining about it, it’s like: “oh yeah?! you don’t want to text me back?! Well imma tell you or do this!”, is not necessary nor attractive, you move on. I learned from the book “The 4 Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz, whatever somebody said or do to you, is not really about you persé but rather how they see you trough their “screen smoke mirror” or their perception, so I move on if they don’t text and respect it, it’s like asking forcefully for attention.

P.S. If you’re a creative person, you’d be amazed by how some of these people text you back once they see you creating cool stuff. 

I love that subtle plug at the end. ?

Edited June 2, 2023 by StarStruck

[integral]

Did you ask her out yet? 

[Schizophonia]

1) She probably talks to a lot of people.
2) She's too lazy to answer you and prefers to do something else.
3) You have no chance but you try to prove yourself wrong.

At least one of these three possibilities.

[Jacob Morres]

you assess what you want and find girls that give you it

Like leo said , some girls can be very flaky, non interested etc. Don't waste your time on them. For you own sanity tbh 

I'd say 95% of girls aren't worth ur time

Edited June 3, 2023 by Jacob Morres

[universe]

Some people just don't like texting that much.

Which I can understand.

And then for hot girls things get different.

Imagine your whole life you have been texted by random people who would not stop texting you. 10-20 a day.

Would you think the same about responding to everyone as being respectful?

[integral]

Im starting to think all these men hyper focusing on getting these hot girls are a result of not having a sister growing up and missing healthy social interactions with females. So when there older they literally cannot talk to a woman like there people, instead they view them as a mystical "Hot" creatures they need to "game".

Edited June 3, 2023 by integral

[puporing]

10 hours ago, StarStruck said:

The weird thing is that the less you care the more you are valued. 

This is maybe only true with very immature people who fall into this manipulation. Not so with mature and developed ones, the exact opposite happens.

I think if you felt hurt by the lack of response, you should just speak up about it one way or another, it may well fall on deaf ears but to me it's healthy to express that (and then move on). I know it can seem like too much if you haven't done it much before, but  what you gotta lose?

It's good to practice expressing your feelings about a disrespectful situation (to the extent you're comfortable), and then set boundaries for it, because it will come up again and again not just dating but work, people in general. 

It boils down to Self-Love, which affects your ability to be your best self around others who will appreciate what you give them (as presence, attention, etc) and not treat it like nothing.

(And in the end... I still suggest to wake up instead of this endless chasing because in my experience it never made me feel whole or loved. Build authentic relationships instead. I've done a fair share of "chasing" myself before and know what that's like, it's really not that great for most people. I was quite literally spinning on a "hamster wheel" but in reality I was looking for God's Love. And you are probably not going to find the kind of LOVE and HEALING you crave except from God or "works of God". If you're more "sensitive" like me it is just adding more trauma dealing with immature or insensitive people that are not yet attuned to their feelings. Sorry if I am going off tangent, but no one else is gonna tell you how it actually is with regards to "chasing the other" and God more than likely.. and don't have to take my word I am just trying to help you out coz I am sensing that you may be ready to hear it).

Edited June 3, 2023 by puporing

[enzyme]

I had this happen recently - you just move onto the next person.

Stay active and let things fall into place on their own.