The ultimate universal female truth

[Sugarcoat]

On 2023-05-27 at 4:22 PM, CARDOZZO said:

@Sugarcoat Ok but what is the point?

Do you need to be hot because guys don't pay attention to you?

What means "HOT" to you?

For myself is a girl that is:

• Feminine.
• Sweet-Smelling.
• Short.
• Funny.
• Naughty.
• Speaks Dirty-Talk Language.

Well I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, i think it’s more about my own access to my own sexuality or something 

Some guys pay attention to me. It happens sometimes , it’s usually neutral to me, how I experience it. And if I do enjoy it, I go into panic mode

I can be hot in my “energy”, but the raw physical appearance is the difficulty for me 

 

meeting that long list seems almost harder than meeting my idea Hahahha 

[CARDOZZO]

@Sugarcoat hahahahha no worries.. just an ideal  

[Sugarcoat]

17 hours ago, Swarnim said:

I appreciate your post because this is likely on many women's mind. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.

The solution is to not be attached to the life that good looks bring you. You idealize the life where you are hot, therefore see more value in that, rather than your own life. To stop idealizing, understand that you'll still suffer the same amount as you do now, being hot will not reduce your suffering. This is because suffering depends on how you process life and being hot will not change that for you. You'll suffer different things, but it'll still be the same amount. In your current life, if you suddenly become hot, many of your issues will be solved, until new ones emerge depending on your new looks; and trust me it'll be just as bad as it is now, only in a different way.
Moreover, what you desire is not to be hot, but to not suffer the suffering that comes with not being hot, which you can solve in this life, you do not have to magically become hot to solve that problem. The answer is simple, the work, not so much.

And I appreciate your sincere response , and the fact that you sense that sincerity in my post!!

I like your point of view, it is quite profound and I think there are many different levels one could grasp what you just said. 
 

I feel like I understand what you just wrote conceptually, I’ve thought through the same things. This thing about the sameness in suffering, how one gets used to where one is at etc etc. It was mental for me.

 

Then this shift happened. Profound beyond words. It left me in utter shock, I ugly cried for hours. Totally ungraspable . A totally new dimension opened up for me

I cannot say what shifted energetically. But it was like suddenly my sense of being was released from the shackles of mental imagery. 
 

hotness for me had been a mental image - a mental image I was trying to live in, by changing my body to match it so that I could project this image from my mind onto my body and live as it, 

 And no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t stabilize myself in this mental projection - something was off . It wasn’t stable enough 

this post was a spontaneous momentary expression that encapsulated the very essence of my mind. But since this shift where something new beyond my mind opened up, I can still sense what I wrote and feel it, but it’s not everything.

 

so that’s another way to grasp what you just said, I think, about how suffering is about how one processes life etc - it was the same mind trying to run away from itself almost 

okay now I’m just going off a tangent 

but yes as you say also, how I don’t want the suffering of not being hot, yea totally, I was haunted by this sense of awkwardness, and it’s like I was trying to hide it under some ideal appearance that would act like this protective shield almost 

 

[Sugarcoat]

8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

A key part of spiritual work is learning to accept certain things which cannot and should not be changed.

Surrender, acceptance, and letting go are key tools for this issue.

Yea I agree

and sometimes this happens not by choice 

[CARDOZZO]

52 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

I wanna experience my peak hotness

hahahah I have the same desire, but it is for Extreme High Consciousness Levels/States... 

How do you look at God's eyes?

Complete PERFECTION...

Strive for that ;))

Edited May 29, 2023 by CARDOZZO

[Blackhawk]

On 2023-05-27 at 7:28 AM, Sugarcoat said:

All women know deep down that nothing they do or none of their qualities matter if they aren’t hot. Period . That’s it. That’s the post. 

None of it matters for what? For getting a partner?

It's pretty easy for unattractive women to get a partner.

Or do you mean they can't make a difference in the world? Then what about all unattractive female scientists, politicians, etc.

Btw, I live in Sweden too. Nice to meet you.

Edited May 29, 2023 by Blackhawk

[Sugarcoat]

On 2023-05-28 at 11:59 AM, Salvijus said:

I would agree. I wouldn't try to supress or ignore the desire to be hot. In fact i would do the opposite, i would allow it fully to overtake me, i would feel it fully with every cell in my body and with no resistence and i would inquire, what is it that i truly want? What is it that i'm trying to gain by infinitely attractive and beutiful? What is really behind that desire? And i would discover that what i long for is to be loved totally without limits, to be drenched in infinity of love. And i would realize that all desires however shallow they may seem, lead eventually to that one desire in the core of our soul to feel,  recieve, give and express Love and Beauty in all directions without limit. May you find that fullfilment your soul so desires 

That’s exactly what I’ve been doing. Shocking how you pin point it so precisely 

[gettoefl]

being hot is a kiss of death, you will look outward for approval your whole life and never find someone who wants the real you

the worse curse existence imposes

play down your looks in every way possible ... give someone a chance to appreciate and adore the sublime supreme subjective you

they are the one worthy

and this all applies to men as well as women

[Salvijus]

1 hour ago, Sugarcoat said:

That’s exactly what I’ve been doing. 

That's beutiful. I guess you're pretty cringe then yourself, haha 

Nah.. It's actually a good Way. Especially for women because it's more feminine. It's about embracing your desires fully without any resistence rather then the masculine way of cold discipline, detachment and austerities.

[Sugarcoat]

1 hour ago, Salvijus said:

That's beutiful. I guess you're pretty cringe then yourself, haha 

Nah.. It's actually a good Way. Especially for women because it's more feminine. It's about embracing your desires fully without any resistence rather then the masculine way of cold discipline, detachment and austerities.

Cringe is fundamental to my existence hagagag why are you seeeing right through me

 

that sounds scary tho

[MarkKol]

On 5/28/2023 at 3:49 AM, Leo Gura said:

Welcome to life, where most people are dissatisfied with their looks and cannot change it.

Fact. Live with it. 
 

Or should I say… Činjenica, I dalje Živim s time. ❤️ 

Because I have 0 trauma around this issue, I find it easy to accept myself despite my feminine/childish appearance. Each of us takes a different path and we become uniquely ourselves. Something to be proud of, this is me, the protagonist, I am unique. A shiny Pokemon like no other. 

It should be obvious that a "looks issue" doesn't really exist, it's always about self esteem and self worth.

Edited May 29, 2023 by MarkKol

[Salvijus]

3 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

Cringe is fundamental to my existence hagagag why are you seeeing right through me

 

that sounds scary tho

?

a cringe fox lady,  now that's attractive

Edited May 29, 2023 by Salvijus

[Roy]

The underlying foundation of our biology is rooted around looks and a healthy appearance. Everybody wants to reproduce with good looking, fertile women which = great babies. This is just the state of nature, it's not personal.

You can still be successful despite this influence. It sounds like you've been able to. The resentment you have can be shed. Only you can unlock those chains around your mind.

At least there is comfort in that everyone's looks fade. We all become wrinkly short people in the end 

Edited May 30, 2023 by Roy

[Yimpa]

@Roy Boy, your looks and appearance has changed dramatically. Are you okay? 

[Roy]

7 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

@Roy Boy, your looks and appearance has changed dramatically. Are you okay? 

I put myself in the freezer and fell coming out.

[EternalForest]

Think about this, no one cared how JK Rowling looked. They still lined up around the bookstores all night to buy the latest Harty Potter book, because her writing was just that good.

No matter how she looked, she still would have sold millions of copies.

Edited May 30, 2023 by EternalForest

[Kksd74628]

@Sugarcoat

You want to aim to be cute. Of course even to this thing looks matter obviously, but how you shine femininity through your personality is really big thing. Almost no one nowadays has mastered that femininity so you'll be top 1% by just embodying feminine traits and finding dressing, hair and possibly light make up style that fits to you. Everything that I am trying to say is more about mental shift than anything else. Many women are offended of that, because they don't realize that hotness is competition women have against each others. Men don't care about big lips or other unnecessary things that actually just make you look worse. Ask more if what I said somehow made you relate to this post.

-joNi-

[Sugarcoat]

On 2023-05-28 at 2:56 PM, Girzo said:

So it's not even that you don't get attention form males, it's just that you would like to be prettier?

Just be aware that it's all in your character and has little to do with external reality.

It's a problem of your own making, as you are both the person who wants to look good for herself and the person lamenting about it taking a lot of work.

No-one's forcing you to value physical attractiveness, nor good style. You are an adult and these are values you have chosen as worthy of pursuing.

You can either stop complaining or change your values. I don't see any other way out.

Well originally it came from society as it influenced me as a child. My “character” was perhaps extra aware and sensitive to it.

Then as we grow older we have a choice in how we relate to this conditioning, so you have a point there. Some of us see the answers to our problem in adapting to it rather than fighting it,  we WANT to obey it. Crazy right?

I rarely rarely complain about it, 99% of the time I’ve worked for it instead.  This post was a burst of authentic expression, not really negative per se just a rawness.

 

[Sugarcoat]

On 2023-05-28 at 6:34 PM, Yimpa said:

Reminds me of this reddit post (read the comments as well)

Plumbing? 

[Sugarcoat]

On 2023-05-29 at 0:04 AM, eos_nyxia said:

t can be very very hard to unwire ourselves from this narrative, but I think age is one area where we really do have the opportunity to relax more into our body and experience. To stop displacing and splitting from ourselves, and the full potential of our subjective experience of beingness. (Like if I'm >X< then finally I'll be the best version of myself, that feels the best, that I actually deserve.)

This is despite the negative attitude toward aging, especially when aimed toward women. Which is why so many women say that being in their teens and 20s was crap, and being 30-40+ was actually a much better experience, despite one's teens/20s supposedly being the "prime" of a woman's life.

You could say this is a cope: in a way, it is.

But it is always better to not be bound, including when you have the opportunity to profit off your "privilege". Then you have the option to enjoy the ride more.

I doubt anyone who has an eating disorder, or who is even a little bit self-conscious (especially in the age of online social media), is having a having a truly awesome time being in a female body, even if they do enjoy the perks. I mean, do they truly enjoy the experience of being a woman or girl? Anyone who isn't completely clueless surely feels the insecurity because of how utterly conditional it is: the hands that feeds you (or praises you) will either be gone later, if it doesn't just strangle you. I have to laugh when guys call this "love".  No, it makes your peepee hard and influences all of your decision making, whether they go with or turn against the desire.

true. It is the strongest conditioning for women at least in the west I think. It is so strong that even the women who work hard to “accept themselves” instead of obeying it like me struggle.

this relaxation into our body - it’s something I’ve experienced as a gradual thing that settles as I’ve gotten older, more and more each year. So you’re right, it does get better.

True that, most women are struggling with this in a way . That’s why my post isn’t personal per se as some of the replies are making it to be, there is a sprinkle of this more or less in most women especially young ones. My being is perhaps more open aware and sensitive to this conditioning as is thus able to articulate it so bluntly 

 

“it is always better to not be bound”. I agree with you here. Women have tried it, to live from their appearance, how miserable doesn’t that show itself to be 

Yet, some of us struggle with the opposite in a way. I don’t even dare to feel sexy when I think I look good. Because it’s too dangerous. What if I enjoy it, then suddenly it switches and I think I look terrible again and now I’m suffering that, since I bound myself to the state of my body. So you end up living detached from the body, which is a kind of pain in itself. 
 

yes yes