The ultimate universal female truth

[Sugarcoat]

All women know deep down that nothing they do or none of their qualities matter if they aren’t hot. Period . That’s it. That’s the post. 
 

they can either deny this fact or adapt somehow
 

It’s so fucking existential for me.

 

I have barely felt like I’ve existed for a second of my life , nor do I feel like I can own nor want to own my qualities because of this fact.  Literally , literally, I have barely felt real because of this. 

yes I have had excellent grades all my life.  Yes I’ve excelled at sports,  during my teens I weight-lifted  at a level that qualified me to compete at world class levels almost. Yes I can be incredibly intellectual and formulate myself well and for example  in high school people could come up to me and compliment me for my speeches in class.  Yes I can be socially charming, people can love my witty energy. I can be anything almost 
 

But you know what? not an inch of my being gives a flying fuck about these things,  

 

Because for this being,  damn nothing hits like being schmexy .
 

Why do I seriously feel like they world and my life could fall apart but if I was just hot then somehow I’d be doing okay anyways. 
 

 I can be anything almost . BUT WHY IS IT SO FUCKING HARD TO BE HOT

I know how hot I am in my energy and “soul” but it’s this fucking meat suit that isn’t expressing that, damn piece of flesh .I’m actually shocked by myself sometimes, how sexy and beautiful and charming and cool I can be in my “energy “ , BUT THIT FUCKING PIECE OF FLESH ISNT REFLECTING THATTTTT
 

 

Edited May 27, 2023 by Sugarcoat

[Sugarcoat]

Oh shit accidentally quoted myself when I wanted to edit 

[sholomar]

This is your story. Personally I'd rather have a sweet, cuddly, feminine, nurturer who's not a looker. Also fiscally responsible, Thrifty, not plugged into this pop culture matrix of being on the consumption hamster wheel of having to have the next new toy or the next flashy experience. The chasing of the dopamine high.  Someone I can meditate with. Go on nature hikes with. No bars/clubs. Not my thing.

What kind of man needs a hot woman? The man who has lots of options so you're fighting for his affection over other women. Stop pursuing such men. There are plenty of good men out there... they just aren't making lots of noise to get themselves noticed. A lot of people of both genders have kind of checked out of the system, so if you want a guy's attention, initiate.

I get it... women's genetic makeup drives them to be have a raw, animalistic attraction towards men with certain attributes. Try to look past your genetic drives. Being human .... sigh... it's not really my cup of tea, but I'm here, might as well make the best of it. Some genetic engineering in 50-100 years might improve our specie's psychological makeup.

Edited May 27, 2023 by sholomar

[NoSelfSelf]

Is this post about not being able to get guys attention?

[Leo Gura]

Sorry, but stop being shallow.

[Buck Edwards]

There is no universal truth. 

[Salvijus]

If I interpreted it right you're saying, "unless I'm physically attractive, I won't be loved in this society" perhaps there's some truth. Men are pretty shallow indeed. But the good news are you can always love yourself!

?

Yea on the more serious note i would say this suffering is just ignorance and shallowness in the end. People can definitely be loved regardless of their appearance, iq, eq, or whatever else you have. At least in theory. I understand it's pretty rare in the current world.

Also i would add something cringy that the love and appreciation you long to extract from others will never be the real thing. Only the love that comes from within you will fill the hole of lack inside you. And for that you need do nothing but allow it to fill you. It's corny but it's true imo.

 

Edited May 27, 2023 by Salvijus

[Zion]

This only matters if the people you want to perceive you as hot, are hot themselves. Am I wrong? 

If you hold that standard to others (the generalized standard of beauty) & your perception of yourself doesn't physically match that standard, you're going to go in circles. It's time to break the cycle. A new line of thinking, a new mindset is needed. 

Hot is a perspective. It is entirely dependent on the person, & given that you seemingly base some of your standards on society's rational, perhaps it's time to see what YOU think, not society.

I said it once & I'll say it again:

Liking someone's physical appearance is just as shallow as liking someone's personality, if they are to be compared in value. The only reason it is seen otherwise is because of the moral rules put in place by a given system at play. If I am to love one’s physical beauty, it compliments their personality & their entire being. If one is to love one’s personality, it compliments their physical beauty & with that; their entire being. One is not more or less important or valuable, that is just you forcing your morals onto another. 

I suspect it is just the people you seek out that presumably prioritize physical appearance above all else, not necessarily ALL people's standards. If that were all people's standards, we wouldn't have women's rights as there would be no need for anything but their physical beauty. All of this relies heavily on the standards you have for the people you seek out. Not every person is hot, if we were all hot, physical appearance would cease to be that valuable. 

Given what you've said so far, it sounds like you talk to yourself about your physical appearance in a way that you yourself don't like. Ask yourself why that is. Why do you think like this about your appearance? Is there a new feasibly replaceable mindset you'd prefer to have of yourself? If so, what can you do to implement that mentality?

Don't let one or the other fool you, the seduction of physicality or personality can both be easy traps for the mind to fall into. The two are not mutually exclusive in truth.

[woohoo123]

It reminds me of different perspectives. Sometimes my gf would shout me over urgently, I immediately stop what I’m doing and run over. When I arrive she asks me which handbag goes best with her outfit. I literally don’t care and am a bit annoyed how trivial the whole situation is. But she spends another 10 mins in front of the mirror and thinking hard about it.

in some ways maybe you’re the girl in the mirror and making a fuss over nothing really, so if you change perspective it is simple to see this is really nothing worth worrying about.

At the same time though maybe you have had some life experiences which tells you this is important.

If I were you, I may try asking the question - is it possible for me to be happy without being physically hot? Is my life still worth living if I were not a hot woman?

if the answer to the above is ‘yes’ then contemplate ok it may still be a desire, but you may not really NEED this as much as you are leading yourself to believe.

Then I would ask what it is you really want from being hot? Is it approval from men? Is it approval from yourself perhaps?

If it is approval from others, maybe ask yourself if you do really need that to be happy? Can you still see the value in yourself even when men deem you to be ugly?

If it is approval from yourself, maybe ask yourself if you are worthy of your own love and sense of self-worth even if some parts of you don’t accept your appearance

then maybe you can go through a process of becoming your own cheerleader, what other things do you admire about this woman? Can you love her even if she isn’t hot? Can you still support her and cheer her on as she goes for her hopes and dreams admist struggle? Is it still possible to love and admire this woman?

There may be some limiting beliefs about how you will attract men if you are not a hot woman. But I think if you start going through the process of falling in love with yourself, you start to see your own value more clearly and this limiting belief will go away on its own (you deserve the best, even if your appearance does not match your expectations) 

 

Edited May 27, 2023 by woohoo123
Added more comment

[UnlovingGod]

Yeah, sorry guys, but maybe she tried to act sincere for the first time in her life and you guys are discouraging her to express herself so. Cant you read between the lines?

[Girzo]

6 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

I can be anything almost . BUT WHY IS IT SO FUCKING HARD TO BE HOT

I love my girlfriend with all of my heart and she walks in leggings all the time and doesn't wear makeup. She's hot with who she is, not with how she looks.

 You just have to be hot enough to feel sexual attraction, any improvements to your looks and style after that is your personal preference. And if you think it's a high bar to clear for a woman to be attractive in a sexual manner, then why there's so many jokes about men being so indiscriminate and willing to have sex even with goats.  It's easy to find a cool partner if you yourself are cool.

Yeah, you might not be able to get anyone you like, but you are for sure able to find someone who you really, really like.

[Girzo]

1 hour ago, woohoo123 said:

Then I would ask what it is you really want from being hot? Is it approval from men? Is it approval from yourself perhaps?

Social status, probably. The approval from the social environment. Not everything is a result of individual dynamics, not everything is psychological.

Yeah, and when I think about it, maybe OP's problem is not lacking physical attractiveness but not having enough social status? Aiming for the guys with a much higher status creates the frustration.

Edited May 27, 2023 by Girzo

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmiNoCV-i84

 

[Razard86]

6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Sorry, but stop being shallow.

This....but ehhhh I can't even blame them....when you live in a society that feeds you shit...what do you think comes out? If only humans could teach self-love...

[CARDOZZO]

@Sugarcoat Ok but what is the point?

Do you need to be hot because guys don't pay attention to you?

What means "HOT" to you?

For myself is a girl that is:

• Feminine.
• Sweet-Smelling.
• Short.
• Funny.
• Naughty.
• Speaks Dirty-Talk Language.

[Sugarcoat]

18 hours ago, sholomar said:

This is your story. Personally I'd rather have a sweet, cuddly, feminine, nurturer who's not a looker. Also fiscally responsible, Thrifty, not plugged into this pop culture matrix of being on the consumption hamster wheel of having to have the next new toy or the next flashy experience. The chasing of the dopamine high.  Someone I can meditate with. Go on nature hikes with. No bars/clubs. Not my thing.

What kind of man needs a hot woman? The man who has lots of options so you're fighting for his affection over other women. Stop pursuing such men. There are plenty of good men out there... they just aren't making lots of noise to get themselves noticed. A lot of people of both genders have kind of checked out of the system, so if you want a guy's attention, initiate.

I get it... women's genetic makeup drives them to be have a raw, animalistic attraction towards men with certain attributes. Try to look past your genetic drives. Being human .... sigh... it's not really my cup of tea, but I'm here, might as well make the best of it. Some genetic engineering in 50-100 years might improve our specie's psychological makeup.

This is not purely my story tho. It’s society's story, expressing itself through me. I bet you most western young women have a sprinkle of what I articulated in their experience, but it’s more obvious and dominant in some of us, which is in some way what allows for this blunt articulation . 
 

you mention all of those qualities as if they stand in contradiction to hotness.

my desire to be hot goes beyond any  quality 

If im gonna be a spiritual cuddly meditative feminine nurturing woman etc - I want to be hot while im all those things. Im not referring to the stereotypical “hot” woman with all the associated stereotypes , just pure physical beauty in general
 

you are talking to your mental projection of me. I can see the woman you sense that I am, but you’re sensing incorrectly . The way I express myself in the world is quite the opposite of the woman you are directing your message towards. 
 

but I agree, there are good men ofc, humans exist on a spectrum. I tend to focus on myself to become a right partner instead of trying to find one. That’s what I’ve done so far, but my body has been this one and only thing I haven’t been able to fully get under my control which disturbs me on an existential level. 
 

But despite you directing your message towards a faulty mental projection you concocted of me from reading my post, I still see your point since there are in fact many women with that mentality you are referring to.

Hmmmmm….genetic drives. All I can say is that I like men with THAT energy. Although I can’t say what that is , maybe you’re right tho

[Sugarcoat]

17 hours ago, Lila9 said:

 

Society empathize so much the way we look over who we are, what we do in life, what we value, how our character is alike etc.

If you're not attractive per society's standards you get ignored.

People would't care much about who you are and what is your character alike + immature people bully you for your apperance and you don't feel like you're a woman.

If you're attractive per society's standards, you still get ignored.

People would't care much about who you are and what is your character alike + you get too much unwanted attention because of your apperance and it feels that people like you, but not really like you.

Still, if woman has to choose between these two options, the second is better than the first. Even though ultimately both are suck. But the second at least brings better survival opportunities.

Most society is very orange and it make a strong link between sex appeal and apperance, but in fact they are not always corelate with each other.

As you mentioned, feeling sexy is an energy that comes from within but note that it's there regardless how you look. The way we perceive our look may affect this, but what if you are just too hard on yourself and judge yourself unfairly according to too rigid standards of beauty that stuck in your head due to too much social media consumption?

 

You’re absolutely right. It’s a double edge sword, this attraction thing. 
 

I can’t say for sure which is more desirable tho. I somehow believe we all get used to where we are, so even the model gets tired of her face. But yes definitely some advantage regarding treatment from society  as you say 

 

omg yes. This orange hypnosis. Sex appeal for women is so dominated by appearance  it’s staggering. Men have so much more room for compensation for lack of physical attractiveness.

 

Yes it’s definitely an energy. But then the body is a host of this energy. Now how can the host reflect this energy, as the energy doesn’t just stand alone as it’s one thing, I guess. 
I’m hard on my body, not myself, quite different . But you have a point there, that’s how it is for many women.
 

 

[Sugarcoat]

18 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Is this post about not being able to get guys attention?

no, I get attention from men from time to time.
It was  referring to my inability to enjoy this attention and express my potential attraction since I’m dissatisfied with my looks. Heck, sometimes I haven’t even WANTED to enjoy it. 
 

those are two very different things. What you’re talking about is a more external validation seeking, where you try to create a desirable sense of self through others perception of you. The one I’ve dealt with is more internal, where we hold ourselves to an internal standard that we picked up from somewhere and are constantly trying to meet. Thus creating a desirable sense of self from within our own mind

 

i saw on your profile that you are Croatian. I am too lol!! Haha

Edited May 28, 2023 by Sugarcoat

[Sugarcoat]

@Leo Gura

Your comment is equally as shallow haha

 

i admire your content tho. No judgment here

Edited May 28, 2023 by Sugarcoat

[Sugarcoat]

17 hours ago, Enlightement said:

There is no universal truth. 

The title was more for attention grab . Not that deep