Grounding journal

[Oppositionless]

One absolutely central inconsistency ruins [the naturalistic worldview].... The whole picture professes to depend on inferences from observed facts. Unless inference is valid, the whole picture disappears.... Unless Reason is an absolute--all is in ruins. Yet those who ask me to believe this world picture also ask me to believe that Reason is simply the unforeseen and unintended by-product of mindless matter at one stage of its endless and aimless becoming. Here is flat contradiction. They ask me at the same moment to accept a conclusion and to discredit the only testimony on which that conclusion can be based.

— C. S. Lewis

Edited June 16, 2023 by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

conservative doing some good metaphysics and epistemology. gets a little too triggered by secualrism for my taste. could go farther and deeper. very interesting overall and a different perspective from what I'm used to with leo and others, but covers lots of the same ground.

 

Edited June 16, 2023 by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

all of a sudden have an urge to learn the math of game design. physics is crazy. 

I wouldn’t mind making a game or two. just for fun, I don’t wanna work in the industry.  

maybe I’ll make a game with my own music in the soundtrack. that would be a badass way of combining my skillsets. 

 

concept art would most likely be outsourced. 

Edited June 16, 2023 by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

the scary thing about mushrooms is you never know what you’re gonna get, you don’t know if the 4 gram trip dose you do one week is gonna be less insane than the 6 gram trip you did last time. it’s also the best part about mushrooms. they often act as mirror of the most evil parts of yourself, but you can come out of that feeling like you excercised your demons and are reborn

[Oppositionless]

insights into bad trips

— there’s a huge amount of variation amongst nightmarish experiences. dumbassery and low consciousness reckless behavior are the primary factors that edge the merely bad trip into the psychologically damaging area. one idiot who ate an entire bushel of datura and ended up getting arrested exemplified this to me.

— synthetics such as LSD, 2C-b and the 5 meos which generally bypass spiral dynamics stage purple delirium and “evil” are a miracle and a luxury of the modern world. life wasn’t always so easy for psychonauts. experiencing a sisnister version of alien consciousness on mushrooms made this crystal clear to me

Edited June 17, 2023 by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

In rehab I had a “trip” or sleep paralysis experience where I took visteril to sleep with a noisy roomate. I remember waking up and there were these ghosts in my room, when they noticed me I realized they were my friends. We tried to exchange words but as soon as we did they would disappear. I think I went to sleep about 3 times because it came back in waves. When I went back to sleep it felt like there was a party going on in my room, with random people running in through the walls and closed door. it was quite unsettling, I didn’t use that medicine again.

[Oppositionless]

ketamine addiction… utterly horrifying

be very careful guys. even monthly dissociative use can damage the bladder .

Before using ketamine to treat depression for example, try “real” psychedelics. go to ketamine only if the first doesn’t work.

Edited June 22, 2023 by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

without spirituality the brutality of survival would be so overwhelming,

I used to want a metor to come down and wipe out all the life on earth,

now I can playfully laugh at the whole ordeal consciousness finds itself in on this planet, 

every bad trip ends, eventually. it all returns to love in the end.

Edited June 22, 2023 by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

It's hard to convey my love of cannabis. If you the worst that comes of using this plant it not accomplishing goals, becoming lazy, that's actually wonderful. Some people , like me, create whole imaginary worlds, very different from the human dream. The laws of physics change, this other world is so uhman, so alien from consensus reality. Inhabiting it for years is like suicide. My soul craves Earth, humans, and relationships. People can't read your mind in the human dream. It feels invasible when people start reacting to your thoughts in such an obvious and tangible way. The weed dream was fun. I love it. Better psychedelics, meditation, and Love can give me everything I want. I need some sex. I need a girlfriend. I need normal days. I need a quiet dream. The cannabis dream is so loud, so shakti, so crazy and anxious. So awe inspiring, so consuming.

Edited June 23, 2023 by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

Feeling downright sorry for myself.

Imaginary possible past life scenarios

Two lifetimes ago. I'm a man living in southern California. It's the early 90s. I'm 26 now. My little brother was killed by the police when I was 16. Shortly after I began experimenting with drugs with my friends. I try all the psychedelics, stimulants, and few opioids. My favorite drug by far is methamphetamine. I love going on benders and the feeling of insanity. I enjoy mixing meth with over the counter cough syrup and sleep medicine. I checked myself into rehab after a particularly nasty bout of deliriant and sleep depirvation induced psychosis. Life is starting to feel real again. My face is looking better.

In the previous life time. I'm a sadhu in northern India. I smoke prodigious amounts of marijuana every single day and pray to lord shiva. I live amongst the homeless. I try to help the heroin junkies overdosing in the street as much as I can. People respect me. they're more likely to give to me than the other homeless. I donate whatever I can to the hopeless heroin addicts. I left my family when I was 16, I haven't seen them in years.

[Oppositionless]

I fucking love the r/drugscirclejerk subreddit. I think having some humorous self awareness is the first step in dealing with serious problems.

Everyone has their own psychedelic experience. some people like mushrooms, don’t like lsd. 

I love lsd. babe, I remember when I was talking about how I could eat acid for breakfast . and now matter how strange it got it remained a great time  . even when I took one of the same edibles from the next night. that brownie absolutely was the most stoned I have ever been in my life , 

but this night the lsd and the edible syngerzied in a way that I was able to remain hyper conscious in this thc hole trip. Absolutely reggie . God , past lives, all that fucking nonsense. all God . let’s have an orgy.

Now DMT, Psilocybin, those guys scare the shit out of me. Alien beings , mischevious, and very horny, like a sexy succubus. I want to become her. She’s God, she’s the devil, she’s everything.

Edited June 26, 2023 by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

good trips are usually pretty boring. unless they're, y'know, extra good. bad trips are so insanely ridiculously hilrarious. Abudcted by aliens, space demons, madlad behavior, encounters witrh the police. this is the divine comedy. (obviously not talking about my own bad trips here. I dont think I would ever act out cause Im a *responsible psychonaut*

Edited June 26, 2023 by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

ever since I started using my laptop for music rather than my phone I’ve been in a bit of a creative rut. Obviously it’s because I don’t have a midi controller. using my laptop keyboard has definitely hindered my process. but it’s okay cause I was learning just how to use the DAW for 6 months or so.

Now I’ve gone from just learning the basics to the optimization stage . that means a midi keyboard for music, and learning vim to navigate vscode much more quickly.

Edited June 26, 2023 by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

“brutalizing toads makes that shit hit different”

-some hippie

as psychedelics go mainstream God-realization becomes shockingly common. 

High virtue remains as rare as ever. if a zen devil ever becomes president all hell will break loose.

 

Edited June 27, 2023 by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

forget andrew tate, listen to thesingleguy

 

 

Edited June 28, 2023 by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

burning through karma

— not super into pickup, very interested in free love and group sex. like 

— life partner, plus group sex

— love doing drugs (not just psychedelics) all drugs, especially weed, nicotine, and coffee

— becoming god in a way that gratifies my ego, especially becoming god so I can be one of the greatest musicians of all time, help people wake up through music, be recognized as a genius

Edited June 28, 2023 by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

life, eternal cycle of creation and destruction

create prosperity, create god, create money and drugs, create pleasure, create bliss, create the self exnilo

just cross out non-being and write in God.

 

Edited June 28, 2023 by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

don't be stupid with psychedelics. and don't trip if you're a teenager. when I was 19 I thought it was cool to drive and go to the beach on lsd (it isn’t). I feel like I have an entirely new brain than I did when I was 21 (Im 23 now)

 

Edited June 30, 2023 by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]

please pray for physics girl

 

Edited June 30, 2023 by Oppositionless

[Oppositionless]