I just realized I'm God - realization report (lol)

[Dioxide2533]

it doesn't make a ton of sense posting this because I'm talking to myself but I guess it's fun.

Some context: for a long time I thought some of the enlightenment concepts from Leo where BS. Specially Love, but also others like God and related ones like Infinite Will. But recently I watched from Leo this one about coping with Nihilism, and how to fix the nihilistic/existential depression (clip), and it worked, so I recovered some of the lost faith. Basically my enlightenment had been stuck for years since I read Jed Mckenna. Those books gave me the main breakthrough although I was also meditating and took shrooms and LSD a couple of times.

To me, reality was already all a dream/illusion, but just that, so really a purposeless nihilistic "grey" dream. I understood Solipsism as a consequence. I could see reality being generated in real time. And in the best moments I could also see the negativity as just another Illusion. Btw I also had realized No-Self from some visualization exercises for de-identifying from the body. Cool, but bland compared to now.

So the God realization moment: I was watching some content from Leo, and reflecting on other videos at the same time and it just came to me. Obviously I can't fully put it into words but I'll try to explain it as a logical sequence:
I understand there is only this field that I am experiencing -> I am it(there is nothing else) -> I am alone + Reality is clearly not random (everything is so perfectly defined, every detail) -> Someone has to be directing this movie -> That someone can only be me.
This reasoning sequence has turned into a persistent awareness that I am and always have been creating reality. After that, I think I could be beginning to understand Love, because I have always loved what I have created or worked on, in the more mundane level of reality. And now as God, I love the world I am generating.

 

Bonus mood song:

 

Edited May 25, 2023 by Dioxide2533

[cetus]

56 minutes ago, Dioxide2533 said:

it doesn't make a ton of sense posting this because I'm talking to myself but I guess it's fun.

The "fun" part is pretending to discover 'new' aspects of yourself. A game of hide and seek that one plays on themself.

Edited May 25, 2023 by cetus

[Razard86]

57 minutes ago, Dioxide2533 said:

it doesn't make a ton of sense posting this because I'm talking to myself but I guess it's fun.

Some context: for a long time I thought some of the enlightenment concepts from Leo where BS. Specially Love, but also others like God and related ones like Infinite Will. But recently I watched from Leo this one about coping with Nihilism, and how to fix the nihilistic/existential depression (clip), and it worked, so I recovered some of the lost faith. Basically my enlightenment had been stuck for years since I read Jed Mckenna. Those books gave me the main breakthrough although I was also meditating and took shrooms and LSD a couple of times.

To me, reality was already all a dream/illusion, but just that, so really a purposeless nihilistic "grey" dream. I understood Solipsism as a consequence. I could see reality being generated in real time. And in the best moments I could also see the negativity as just another Illusion. Btw I also had realized No-Self from some visualization exercises for de-identifying from the body. Cool, but bland compared to now.

So the God realization moment: I was watching some content from Leo, and reflecting on other videos at the same time and it just came to me. Obviously I can't fully put it into words but I'll try to explain it as a logical sequence:
I understand there is only this field that I am experiencing -> I am it(there is nothing else) -> I am alone + Reality is clearly not random (everything is so perfectly defined, every detail) -> Someone has to be directing this movie -> That someone can only be me.
This reasoning sequence has turned into a persistent awareness that I am and always have been creating reality. After that, I think I could be beginning to understand Love, because I have always loved what I have created or worked on, in the more mundane level of reality. And now as God, I love the world I am generating.

 

Bonus mood song:

 

Congratz!!! Is this your new baseline experience? If so great!!! If not aim to make it your baseline!!!

[CARDOZZO]

@Dioxide2533

Awesome report! ?

That song is amazing. The end of the serie is so sad