How Psychedelics Destroyed The Illusion

[Vlad_]

 

I would like to share with you guys my story of misusing psychedelics. 

I arrived in Canada last September and within first few weeks I ordered some mushrooms. I did them around 20 times in 2018-2021 so after a few years of break I decided to start over. 

When the shrooms arrived, I did 3 grams and have a good trip but not a profound one. I wanted to get deeper and I made a decision to try this mysterious psychedelic called "DMT". I ordered a DMT. When it arrived, I was so afraid to vape, my hands were shaking. I read a lot of trip reports where people would see some beings on DMT or visiting another galactic and experiencing other dimensions or worlds. Nevertheless, I managed to overcome fear. I smoked some DMT and the trip were weird. I would experience ego-death, but I didn't see any beings. I didn't go anywhere either. It was the same present experience, but I was conscious that I'm God. This God realization wasn't really full and I still have a lot of questions. 

I started doing DMT every week multiple times. Experiences were very quick and I still couldn't grasp them. Which is why after a few months I ordered 5MeO-DMT. 

When it arrived, I smoked 40 grams of it the first night. I had the most shocking experience and my first absolute awakening. I realized that I'm the only conscious being, this mysterious thing that dreams up a variety of infinite stories in order to convince itself that it's not god and it's not everything that exists out there. This experience shook me to my core. It was the most radical and the most profound experience in my entire life. The next day I couldn't believe in what happened. On the other hand, ego reacted as well. I went for a cycle of ego backlashes involving smoking a lot of weed, eating fast food and deserts, playing videogames and jerking off on porn.  Also, I wanted to convince myself that all the experience was just some hallucinations and it just can't be truth. In order to prove it to myself I started doing 5MeO every Saturday.

Unfortunately, the result was the same. Over and over. Basically, every Saturday I would freak out because of 5MeO and every Sunday I would go trough ego backlash. On the weekdays I needed to do my 9/5 job, but even there I was thinking about the truth. 

Months were passing by as I was going deeper and deeper. Few weeks ago, I suddenly realized that If I continue doing what I'm doing I'll either loose my mind or commit suicide. Also, I didn't work on my life at all. Everything was on autopilot and all my attention was concentrated on the trips. All of it made me made a decision. I decided to stop doing psychedelics at all until I'm 30 (I'm just 26 now). I want to forget about the truth. I need to concentrate on my life because I've been neglecting it. 

I haven't been doing psychedelics since the end of April. Nevertheless, today I had this crazy experience at night.  I was about to fall asleep but suddenly I became infinite for a few moments. I was terrified by this experience. Any ideas about how to forget that I'm God??? 

I want my dream back. I want to forget the truth.

[OBEler]

@Vlad_ you really went through a journey. Whats the worst aspect for you knowing the truth about being God? 

[Jowblob]

Nope, that was my plan for you ahaha no going back. If you suicide you will just wake up at the same time like it was another dream. Ahahahahaha

[Jowblob]

Also watch this, the more i do psychedelics the more i realize how they show a limited god. Even during your ego death some of your ego will still be intact.  Even the dreams that you dream turn around your waking dream and don't represent god. Nothing here really represents god or the gods possebilities, god can make anything out of nothing.

Here's an example: i take a psychedelic and close my eyes, suddenly i see my heart beating like i see it with open eyes. I knew the meaning of it and pierced through it just to see that im some vibration in the void and that everything is in me then i got sent back cuz it was scary. Notice how limiting this experience was and notice how i got sent back, 2 reasons for this : ego still intact, experience was lead/controlled by something else. God cant limit itself in a physical body like now , my guess is that there were beings that discovered how everything works and their consciousness merged with everything so ultimately theyre the ones that have all the control and are god. There is intelligent design and connection in everything like somebody is taking care of you but not giving you everything/freedom. Its much bigger then solipsism and psychedelics, i also debunked many of leos teachings because they show a depressing version of god.

 

 

[Jowblob]

Also when i posted this my body started vibrating a bit and i felt some energy/pressure on top of my head.

[Yimpa]

3 hours ago, OBEler said:

Whats the worst aspect for you knowing the truth about being God? 

Knowing that I am the Devil.

39 minutes ago, Jowblob said:

Also when i posted this my body started vibrating a bit and i felt some energy/pressure on top of my head.

Me too.

[Arthogaan]

@Vlad_ bro, I know it maybe does not seem like that now, but it is all going to be well.

We are all in this together, you are still missing the togetherness aspect. You have a beautiful life ahead of you. So many interesting people to meet and experience. So many tasty foods to eat. All one. All you. 

It's gonna be fine. We love you.

[Yimpa]

6 minutes ago, Arthogaan said:

So many tasty foods to eat. 

I licked my girlfriend last night and literally tasted strawberry shortcake. No joke.

[Arthogaan]

42 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

I licked my girlfriend last night and literally tasted strawberry shortcake. No joke.

Maybe she is smearing cake all over herself when you are not looking.

[Vlad_]

4 hours ago, OBEler said:

@Vlad_ you really went through a journey. Whats the worst aspect for you knowing the truth about being God? 

Not being in the absolute mod 24/7.

Psychedelics sent me to the states impossible to communicate where I was so peaceful, happy and one with all my creation. There was no fear at all.

But when the trip is over you're back to your patty human existence with all you fucking human  problems.

Funny enough, I remember during one big break-trough I was on my knees begging myself to go back to the form life. 

I don't really understand what's going on. 

I'm pretty sure that there's only one way to be in the god state - real death of the body. 

[Vlad_]

2 hours ago, Jowblob said:

Nope, that was my plan for you ahaha no going back. If you suicide you will just wake up at the same time like it was another dream. Ahahahahaha

You're a fucking idiot God, I hate all these damn games that you play on yourself.

But I still love you 

[Leo Gura]

9 hours ago, Vlad_ said:

Any ideas about how to forget that I'm God??? 

I want my dream back. I want to forget the truth.

Just go about your normal human life and you will be fine.

[Vlad_]

2 hours ago, Jowblob said:

Also watch this, the more i do psychedelics the more i realize how they show a limited god. Even during your ego death some of your ego will still be intact.  Even the dreams that you dream turn around your waking dream and don't represent god. Nothing here really represents god or the gods possebilities, god can make anything out of nothing.

Here's an example: i take a psychedelic and close my eyes, suddenly i see my heart beating like i see it with open eyes. I knew the meaning of it and pierced through it just to see that im some vibration in the void and that everything is in me then i got sent back cuz it was scary. Notice how limiting this experience was and notice how i got sent back, 2 reasons for this : ego still intact, experience was lead/controlled by something else. God cant limit itself in a physical body like now , my guess is that there were beings that discovered how everything works and their consciousness merged with everything so ultimately theyre the ones that have all the control and are god. There is intelligent design and connection in everything like somebody is taking care of you but not giving you everything/freedom. Its much bigger then solipsism and psychedelics, i also debunked many of leos teachings because they show a depressing version of god.

 

I used to have experiences like you before, but 5MeO changed them dramatically. 

Now even when I do fucking shrooms I become infinite. No jokes. 

[Vlad_]

1 hour ago, Arthogaan said:

@Vlad_ bro, I know it maybe does not seem like that now, but it is all going to be well.

We are all in this together, you are still missing the togetherness aspect. You have a beautiful life ahead of you. So many interesting people to meet and experience. So many tasty foods to eat. All one. All you. 

It's gonna be fine. We love you.

I love you man 

[Vlad_]

1 hour ago, Yimpa said:

I licked my girlfriend last night and literally tasted strawberry shortcake. No joke.

You're lucky that she doesn't taste like fish 

[Vlad_]

4 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Just go about your normal human life and you will be fine.

That's the plan  

 

[Jowblob]

8 minutes ago, Vlad_ said:

I used to have experiences like you before, but 5MeO changed them dramatically. 

Now even when I do fucking shrooms I become infinite. No jokes. 

Do you become infinite while laying down or do you walk outside and see infinity loops/patterns? What experiences did you have while walking in public?

[Yimpa]

13 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Just go about your normal human life and you will be fine.

[Yimpa]

41 minutes ago, Arthogaan said:

Maybe she is smearing cake all over herself when you are not looking.

She got cake for days. Just gotta be careful not to get diabetes 

[Vlad_]

11 minutes ago, Jowblob said:

Do you become infinite while laying down or do you walk outside and see infinity loops/patterns? What experiences did you have while walking in public?

I liked vaping 5Meo in public places. 

Usually everything stays the same. I didn't see any patterns or loops or whatever. It was just me. Everywhere was me and me looking at me. I was also able to zoom in into infinity when I was looking at anything. I didn't feel my body anymore but I could see it. It was as though I felt another body underneath my skin, but that body was nothing that was appearing as my human body. That nothing is what I really Am.