Age Difference In Couples

[Lai]

I've been reading about the love story between one of my favorite actors Patrick Stewart and his wife.  He is 76 years (but still looks so hot!) and she is half his age at 38 years.  They look and fit so well together.

A few years ago I dated a boy who was just 6 years younger than me, but that age difference was too great for me.  Since then I've been attracted to older men.

What about you, what are your dating age limits?

 

[Evilwave Heddy]

Early 20's - late 30's but then there's a lot of beautiful women in there late 40's so I guess older age doesn't make a difference.

I feel anyone under 20 still needs time to grow and experience life.  

[clytaemnestra]

I'm 21 and recently I dated a man who's 34. It didn't lead to relationship, because he was less mature than me. He's still partying around without any intention to get out of the party phase and figure out what he wants of his life. Due to looks and behavior, I'd guess that he's 20 y/o student. So, as they say, the age doesn't define maturity. 

[Principium Nexus]

I'm 21 and dating with a girl who's 25. If you feel your both at the same level of maturity and have insight how ones life would look like at that age then it's not  a huge problem. When you get older the age difference eventually becomes less important, but for me 10+ years is quite a lot.. The guy who's 76 might live 20 more years, but you should also know that he might pass away somewhere in the near future..

[ShadowWalker]

Yeah too many variables depending on maturity, level of consciousness, and goals in life to come up with any reliable answer. From my experience idiosyncrasies tend to have a bigger effect on relationship happiness and fulfillment.

If I am to generalize I would say the classic combination of younger woman and older man works well for various reasons: women tend to reach emotional maturity earlier so men their age tend to be infantile and inconsiderate. On the flip side older women often seem slightly jaded, apathetic and intimidating to men their age, who would prefer a woman to practically look up to them with awe and enthusiasm. Women tend to be attracted to mature masculine energy, which usually manifests itself later in life, both intellectually, socially, spiritually, but also often times even in terms of appearance. Many men on the other hand are drawn like a magnet to the freshness and excitability of a young woman, not to mention her beautiful appearance, although I should note there are obviously women who not only maintain their looks but even become more attractive as they transition from being a pretty girl to becoming an enchanting woman.

And before we get too serious:

 

[NormL_is_boring]

I will say it depends on the person but most of the time someone a lot younger doesn't have the life experience of an older person and even though they may be more mature than their actual age that still can be an issue from what I have experienced. For me personally I am 40 and I tend to stay with in 5 years difference however, the person I have been seeing is 7 years younger than me and radically open minded and so far things are going pretty well. I draw a hard no at more than 10 years for me.  It's way to close to my oldest son's age and I get hit on my a whole lot of early-mid 20's men lol. I just can't do it. 

[Emerald]

11 hours ago, Lai said:

I've been reading about the love story between one of my favorite actors Patrick Stewart and his wife.  He is 76 years (but still looks so hot!) and she is half his age at 38 years.  They look and fit so well together.

A few years ago I dated a boy who was just 6 years younger than me, but that age difference was too great for me.  Since then I've been attracted to older men.

What about you, what are your dating age limits?

 

My husband is 12 years older than I am, and it was exciting for a few months to be the younger woman (then 20) fawned after by an older man (then 32). It was a really fun and spicy dynamic in the initial stages of attraction because there was a slight taboo and a feeling that I was desired in a way that men my own age would tend to take for granted as the norm. Then things cooled down, as they always do, and he was just him and I was just me. Seven years later, the age difference scarcely comes up and we both tend to forget about it. We have always related to each other really well in many respects, and both have similar tastes, work ethic, goals, and moral compasses. So, age doesn't matter too much. So, I recommend not to specifically look for an age difference due to the spiciness, because this always fades. But don't ignore a potential compatible partner due to an age difference either.

[jse]

We perceive age as being linear, but in practical terms it's a curve.  Age differences matter less as time goes on, and they should be seen in a ratio context.

When we were 5, a 10yo (x2) would seem much older to us, and a 20yo (x4) was considered a grownup.  At 10, a 20yo would be middle-aged and a 40yo an oldie.  A 10 year difference at 20 is meaningless at 60, and so on.

On the surface it's the age difference ratio  that matters.  Below that, differences in maturity is the important factor.

[h inandout]

Tried it.  He brought me way down with his baggage.  I now strictly observe the creepiness equation.  Partly because of the fact that he wasn't facing his own problems and neither was I, so we enabled each other.  Second because when your friends and family start to tell you it's creepy (even if it isn't at first) it becomes a self fulfilling profecy.  Watching Cosmic Couple on youtube really helped me work through my emotions on this at the time of the break up. I think they are still in a successful relationship.

[Emerald]

3 hours ago, I_Like_Thing said:

I agree that age is a minor factor with compatibility, and it sounds like you've cultivated a happy and successful marriage with a life partner; seven years is like a record nowadays, so you must have found your soul mate

Maybe you could do a video where you share tips on what makes a lasting and loving marriage? A lot of couples don't even make it past 3 years so it sounds like you are doing something right.

I might do some kind of video about relationships in the future relative to projection and seeing the person without the projection factor. It's very important. For a few years (years 2 through 4 of our relationship), my husband and I were doing really bad because I was projecting my own baggage onto him and it was aggravating a lot of his baggage. Then, he would get really angry at me which would cause me to project more and him to get aggravated more. It was a really vicious cycle and I was almost considering divorce. But then, I found some really great psychological/spiritual resources that helped me recognize the illusions that kept me feeling disempowered and I realized that I was just projecting onto him that he was the cause of that feeling of disempowerment. Since then, we've been doing much better and he's been working on himself as well, but it's still very much a work in progress. But it's surprising how big a difference illusion and projection can make in a relationship between two people. Experience has shown me, that it's the biggest barrier to a loving relationship between people (friends, family, romantic partners, etc.) that there could ever be.

[abgespaced]

Age is a non-issue.

It's biological / psychological (spiritual) / social fit that sets the limits.

[FindingPeace]

On 16/03/2017 at 7:18 AM, Lai said:

What about you, what are your dating age limits?

I don't think age is relevent.

What is relevent is whether two people connect in an authentic and meaningful way. You could argue that younger people have less life experience to be able to connect with older people. But then again, it isn't always life experience that matters. It's attitude towards life and world-view that counts.

I find that I rarely notice people's ages when I'm interracting with them. They are just people. I either connect with them or I don't. Age is just a label, a human construct. A measurement of time. But none of that matters. If two people connect, then age is meaningless.

[Lai]

48 minutes ago, FindingPeace said:

I don't think age is relevent.

What is relevent is whether two people connect in an authentic and meaningful way. You could argue that younger people have less life experience to be able to connect with older people. But then again, it isn't always life experience that matters. It's attitude towards life and world-view that counts.

I find that I rarely notice people's ages when I'm interracting with them. They are just people. I either connect with them or I don't. Age is just a label, a human construct. A measurement of time. But none of that matters. If two people connect, then age is meaningless.

Beautiful!  Thank you.

[YaNanNallari]

My girlfriend is 15 whereas I'm 18. She is very smart and aware for her age and I was very surprised to see that when she started talking to me. If you would try to get 15-year-old me and her together I'd be way too immature and stupid and I'm still not far at all from her since a lot of my development had been delayed by a phase of depression. At first I was really concerned about the age difference. I was shocked at first when I just realised the person I'd been talking to was that much younger and I had to think about it a lot to see if there was a point in people sometimes demonizing such age differences. But after a while of thinking I gave it a shot and she turned out to be at least close to my level of development in many ways. Compared to many of my guy friends at my age she is generally more mature than them. I suppose you can look at age as an indicator for the average of that age. On a more practical level it's nice to have a girlfriend who looks up to me and accepts me as who I am and supports me. I might see her as more of a friend than I would see someone my age, although I don't have much experience. I'm still attracted to her though. She gets a lot of support and someone who get's her better than anyone else atm and I guess great company. She is in some ways still 15, but what comes to our relationship it tends to not matter all that much. I don't think about the age difference almost at all when talking to her nowadays.

[pluto]

Age does not define maturity as grades don't measure intelligence.