Pablo's Adventures

[pablo_aka_god]

I'm starting this journal today. a super quick presentation I am 28 years old, my birthday was 2 weeks ago. I live in Buenos Aires, Argentina and work remotely as an AI engineer.

 

Tomorrow I will travel to Colombia to see my long distance/ non monogamy girlfriend. I am happy I'm leaving Buenos Aires before Winter hits, this is becoming boring.

Colombian girlfriend has been getting intense in the last weeks so not sure if we will still be together when I come back.  Also when I arrive to Bogota I'm excited to enroll at a coworking space and at the Gym.Since I work from home I have not met any new people for a while and became less social and less happy, want to improve this. I will try to go to a coworking couple times a week and talk to some new people.

[pablo_aka_god]

Update from colombia: Colombian girlfriend has lupus, I knew this when I met her but her illness was stable, in the last couple months her lupus caused some imbalance in her body. I met with her yesterday after 4 months without seeing each other face to face. she is staying with me at my Airbnb in Bogota. She is now taking around 9 different medications to keep her lupus stable, has a very strict diet, has gained weight and told me she is supposed to gain much more over the upcoming months. A long distance relationship is already hard but a long distance relationship with a chronically ill person which every day I find less attractive(due to the damages that medications and lupus are doing to her body) that seems like a recipe for disaster.

I don't want to hurt her but I really think I should end this relationship at the end of this trip for the good of both of us. She has become very attached to me so I'm scared of hurting her. Also she is so nice that makes it really hard even to think about it

Edited May 22, 2023 by pablo_aka_god

[pablo_aka_god]

I'm so upset, colombian girldfriend has been complaining because sometimes I dont do the dishes when I should and she sometimes ends doing the washing more often than me. when truth is because I pay for absolutely everything house chores are very little cause I always get takeout or pay for meals at restaurants. cant believe she complains she has to wash dishes from brakefast when its the only meal we have dishes for.

I pay for all the food, eating out/take out so we never have to cook, I pay for rent, amazing trips we do and everything else and she complains because out of the only house chores we have: making the bed, breakfast and washing breakfast dishes she sometimes work on that more than I do, it's ridiculous!

[pablo_aka_god]

If I didnt pay for all these things we would have to go to the supermarket everyday, cook lunch and dinner and also have to wash those dishes. She is obssesed with splitting house work 50/50 but expenses are spent 100/0. its so injust

[pablo_aka_god]

Next time she brings this issue up I will definitely bring that up. I feel like she is being disgraceful. At her mom's house she's constantly doing chores. at my house there chores are virtually none thanks to the money I pay for making that possible yet she complains over having to wash dishes once a day!

Edited June 4, 2023 by pablo_aka_god
typo

[pablo_aka_god]

It's been a month and a half since I started my trip to Colombia and I broke up with my girlfriend 2 weeks ago. I'm still sad but also happy because I think it was a good decision. I just read my first comment in this thread before the trip and there I wrote that that relationship my not last after this trip.I'm so happy I wrote that since it's a proof of how unhappy I was in that relationship.

[pablo_aka_god]

I feel so stupid about this: 

I contemplated this issue deeper because this is often happens me with girls. I try to put a facade of being rich to attract them and end up lamenting it. also this strategy doesn't work well I only attract girls I don't like mostly

Edited July 29, 2023 by pablo_aka_god

[pablo_aka_god]

Also I do it because of insecurity why would a girl want to spend time with me if I'm not a money provider? The only value I have to provide to a girl is having great experiences (which most of the time are payed)

[pablo_aka_god]

I have to stop being the money provider and rather see myself as an equal to the girls I date. they will like me because they see me as a friend not as a wallet

[pablo_aka_god]

Also from the trip experience I take some of the blame(not all), next time I will be a little bit more explicit about the splitting expenses when I go on a trip with a person I'm not close to. I didn't do it last time because was worried girl would think I'm stingy. This is an assumption which could be wrong in reality I don't know because have never experienced this.  I will next time 

[pablo_aka_god]

I have ordered a kit for cultivating magic mushrooms. I'm so excited! since I started on psychedelics last year but my source started scamming me so I had to stop. Psychedelics part 2 is coming baby!

I only hope these new guys don't end up scamming me. only way to know is by trying

[pablo_aka_god]

An insight that I had a month ago while observing people that lived in el Tayrona in Colombia(National park):

 

there 3 spaces we can leave in, one more abstract than the other:

lv 1: connected with the body, nature and people around us. This is the only real space: being in the moment.

lv 2: How most people in cities leave their lives. putting labels in everything, rationalizing and with the focus on language to explain nature rather than on nature itself. 

lv 3: World of abstract ideas like: Math, computer science, politics or any idea that exists only in the mind.

 

The higher the level the more abstracted we are from the only true space: Nature. The crazier and unhealthier we become. 

That's why if one lives in a city and works with abstract ideas it's so important to do activities that ground us to reality: work out, meditation, socialization and being in nature.

[pablo_aka_god]

I Watched Leo's video about having a common place book and it remind me of the value of one. I have one for persona life and one for work and they were both key of my productivity but I became lazy in the personal one.

I'm in the process of cleaning it up and I already feel how my head starts to feel lighter

[pablo_aka_god]

2 Days ago I went to a talk about philosophy given by a university professor who also runs courses outside university.

I wanted to Join a class or group about a topic I have interest in and where also I can meet like minded people and also where I can interact with Women. I realized that for me it's very important to do activities where the % of young women is high. I have already interacted with enough guys for 26 years.

The talk was good but I didn't fully like it. First the group was composed of people above their 40's. Not the group I'm looking for.

Still I'm glad I tried it! Now I discard it after trying it.

[pablo_aka_god]

Also the vibe in that place was of people that were well-off and now spent their time reading and thinking. that's not for me I'm 28 and still have to figure out my finances and relationships. Spending my time discussing about authors that are dead and reading for the sake of knowledge feels like a waste of time for me.

I liked the topics discussed but the vibe was too snobby for my taste

Edited August 23, 2023 by pablo_aka_god

[pablo_aka_god]

I bought Leo's LP course!! I'm working on starting a business on the side while working full time. I am so excited about this step.

 

[pablo_aka_god]

I am cross referencing this great entry I made in my game journal because I talk about many important things there: