How to get over niceness, is my life purpose to weak to attract girls?

[ValiantSalvatore]

How much of this saying is true that if I am in alignment with my life purpose I'll attract more girl? I feel as if I am brainwashed by society partially on the matter of attracting girls and turned into niceness for the desires of others partially, as well as man of my friends are not as masculine as c.s majors it's an extrem form of "beta" niceness and I notice this also in the observations of some professors andd the subtle grooming of girls turning men into blue pill alphas for their own "survival mechanisms" which is just damaging to many men and causes this pedestalising thinking, which I have difficulty noticing at times, and has nothing to do anymore with respect. Just thinking and acting hierachically and in an unholistic way, and focusing on alphas and betas of survival in that sense. I just feel it's constantly an excuse to be "high value" with beign elite, I get a kick even out of this a lot.

Still I enjoy a lot of feminine sides, and to be playful, yet my humour is barely appreciated as I have been discriminated a lot and a lot still have an equality bias that is worse and creates inequality by for example colorblind racism, treating all people equally causes discrimination as each one has different needs & desires it's impossible, yet important liberation is what works. I just re-focus on myself and delete alll apps and use career networking to be social and create some stuff and ask some questions here that seem to be bothering me. Especially the equality type of discrimination that feels like I am a socialist beign born to re-create, fuck, eat and sleep and have a family and contribute to the communites good, is a huge hoax constructed by society I notice. Many believe this is our sole purpose imo. 



The point is my existence partially for them is a hallmark of equality, so no matter where I am at they frame me in this manner and if not I am Andrew Tate, I learned to deal with these projections and harness their power, as it's only about power again and many still hold subtle believes about "race" as a construct when they are acting from an equalities and non-liberated perspective imo.

What can I possibly do here? How does a strong life purpose get you girls, how can I be a strong masculine guy without beign shamed into cuckhold equality, that is to much at times there is no polarity and sexuality and feels and acts like an upkissing dude putting girls on a pedestal because of beauty etc. I feel exhausted from this as I can't meet a somewhat normal girl, and a lot are not high quality even if they think they are. Overweight, bad eating habits, barely exercise. I can't get a clear perspective as other men's perspective is even moreso clouded by "evolution & race scientific paradgism & social media" to get valueable feedback. How much does like attract like, this whole evolutionary type of framework and thinking, I find is extreme. The issue is due to injury I lost a lot of high qualty traits, that are now diminished and I just feel existential at times about this, that I feel I at best use the mechanism and the mystery method and parts of it to just create better attraction with girls, yet not pro-create. I don't enjoy this, yet I feel the equality framework causes to much focus on re-creating and family and is unholistic often and causes discrimination. Even when I give my best to attract girls and work on myself a lot just act on surival and re-production and see this as normal, so learning game makes sense, as otherwise you're just an average guy even if high value etc. 

How does a strong life purpose counter this? When I was more in alignment spiritually as well as work wise I had more girls beign interested in me etc. Yet I feel often that this is only a survival mechanism of elite selection, there barely is any girl with character. I feel more strength in building this as I notice how "low value girls" are acting from this paradgim and disregard self-development and improvment and simply trade based on hypergamy terms, and become dolls in that sense and playtoys. 
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What can I do here internally? When I was on top my life purpose everything feel more into my lap, yet it's very difficult and I have this pattern in my life often. Should I stop dating and work on internal and external factors? 

I only had 7-5 meet-ups this year, and I find I am to deep into fields to find anyone that matches, without diving deeper into those fields like. Psychedelics, consciouness work, fitness, coding & a.i technology and networking. I often find myself ostracized based on character I dunno anymore at times who I am as I changed so much and went through a lot and even when I found myself I was kicked-out from it due to injury etc. 

Any ideas what to work upon? Should I express myself irregardless I got more matches and girls this way, as I was an uncaring asshole that enjoyed his life and still a gentleman. I am not perfect, yet many see me as if I'd project this. Ideas and input appreciated. I am very lost and found more stability, after the doctor said I can't change much and the MRT-scan showed the injury did not get worse, and my workouts are hitting harder. I legit yearn to unite more technology, nature & human interactions, as I find it's one of the best tools to connect nowadays, humans have been at war forever that is also not changing with technology, yet more harmony generally is better.

Should I continue to read and self-educate? I become so arrogant, yet I attract more high quality girls even doctor type girls, as I have more "expertise" this seems to counter-act "getting children" notions, as we'd definitely discuss this an an expert. I stopped self-educated, due to be becoming more and more arrogant and I don't know if this was good as I kicked-out less succesful people, and reading causes me to change massively. I read 12 books last year approx etc. I'd like to take more action, yet going out solo I am still ashamed, as I don't enjoy the level of success I have etc. 

I feel the extremese of single-moterhood parenting and it's brainwashing go to me, and there are some upsides, yet I notice how bad it is, as I don't see and act on masculine cues at times. There is not a single notion about purpose and attracing girls just "go with flow" which is bad imo and beign "authentic" while I only attract high iq and succesful girls with "authentic" as I have a personal resenment with apathy and loser percpetions even in me, that I work the best with etc....

The point is these subtle value judgements and the constantly beign low-key, cool and non-judgemental is getting to me as I lost high quality men points, especially in terms of adventure etc. I find it tricky to deal with hierachies and the advice in these "men groups" focusing on survival & disrespecting girls a lot, yet girls just sleep with the biggest scumbags for whatever reason etc. 

• I lost drive an ambition
• Health as a re-productive indicator 
• I feel as if it's only about hypergamy if I don't follow my vision and act on it
• Opportunities for socializing more in terms of sports and a lot of recognition and social factors
• Self-esteem definitely & self worth while I did even visualizations to counter-act the effects

I feel like I don't often get answer for my question and others subtely guilt tripping me instead of beign clear and practical etc. Going out solo and having 0 opportunties for game as it's dead, is an issue nobody does this and many just are pro-creating animals, how to embrace that? I dunno....where and how to meet girls. Social circles are dead and apps are rising bars&clubs everything based on merit & status in a sense. 

Should I simply continue working till I have the breakthrough on factors that attract girls inside & outside & set dating aside and just socialize with friends even if they are extremely beta and manipulative subtely? I don't have anyone else for them I am masculine etc. Continue reading and self-developing? I miss strong and healthy male recognition for manliness in terms of masculine energy and the attention from girls I do get it from support groups in study rooms, yet I just miss a girlfriend that has a level of normalacy and her hypergamy reduces by ironically equality, capitalism and "liberation" in a sense. When I trust my intuition I change gears every week as I notice more and more problems and the root fixing takes time. With shadow work etc.

I somehow do things wrong I never had a girlfriend worked with a psychologist due to the death of a loved one, I can't deal at times with these projections it's like I constantly have to admit I am broken we talked about this, yet I am so fking lost and just getting older. I also develop a lot of self-hatred if I don't attract a girl that is physically at the same level approx. A girl with a deeper character is extremely difficult to find most are just hypergamy driven and act on evolution types of mechanism I feel, there is no character you know one when you see one in that manner. 

Edited May 19, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNNmkGxB23Y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4yA9SwsQa8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLMhT__eg0A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QyYcMlk8WVw
https://www.youtube.com/live/twTrrGiRXtY?feature=share&t=949
https://www.girlschase.com/content/top-10-places-meet-girls

[ValiantSalvatore]

The point is I enjoy all of these concepts and ideas and besides meeting girls I am working on these areas. I can't go to hip-hop classes due to injury.

• I notice other notice and I loose status and everything is focused on ressources, intelligence, charm and power and simply masculine energy
• I don't enjoy how often growth has been taken for me and it really messes with mental health
• The entire topic of mental health is an issue of itself as I get discluded and they presume higher energy etc.
• I find it also difficult with the notion of egalterian stuff and white academic girls I find it tricky to express my personality, they don't realize their level of discrimination and act extremely sensetivy and like a type of nazi police at times, I don't even know how to date this, as they subtely abuse power and I notice this and find it appaling some of them.

I made so many changes I am just confused as I did so much work, I have no idea where I stand as a lot of human identity is derived from them over who they are at work and I am just a student currently looking for a working student position, to consistently think oh I have no value etc. I am unsure if I express my personality I am to nice, learning to become a player I feel like becoming extremely toxic and like Andrew Tate as these subtle manipulations at times above. I just find it hard to see how fked the dating situation is for a 20 year old guy and everything is about work and providing the whole time. 

What I just notice is how hierachy and scientific thinking and socialism are very toxic. There was one video showing dating in your 30's can be awesome I dunno I don't feel well socially as a lot of activites are just not in my natural habtitat of masculine energy.... I did so much pd, and still I am so lost I don't enjoy how heavy girls project the provider frame onto me and beign elite etc. As well as how heavy this blends into a professional live etc. and the guilt trip to work harder etc, then various stereotypes with Germans, I checked multiple psychologist they don't work on multiple notions that are important and fundamentally all have the same insight, move your body and exercise get out anger etc. As well as I move inside etc. The point is I've been shamed for personality traits I'd naturally have out of this meritocracy idea, and indepedent single type girl stuff, and a lot rub this off, as my nervous system is simply affected by it. I can't explain otherwise. 

As well as my social skills are also only asking about work related stuff, getting into my body involves a lot of pain I have no idea how to meet without just beign physical 90% of the time. Many are worse and I never had to fortunate opportunity to meet girls in groups, as I reject a lot the provider notion and status etc. Just by what I enjoy in types of music etc. 

I dunno if I should just push my career and be on this "sigma grind" as I don't enjoy human activity a lot of times anymore, I know it's a bit toxic, yet I really value excellence at a level of freedom&autonomey I thought about replacing the value even entirely. 

The point for me is dependabillity and power are projections I consistently get, and other wish and I don't enjoy this to much, unsure what to do as a lot of girls are extremely toxic themselves and up their value through subtle manipulations of acting egaliterian while they missuse power to gain mates and somehow I attract these types, as my identity is unique in itself, they just come and expect some super authenticity I only get with extremely open and vulnerable people who notice how they contribute to discrimination or experienced a lot of it also. It's also mostly asian girls and guys I get a deeper personality type of connection, yet the "white power dynamic" is often very obvious when I don't use "beauty & strength" in a way. 

I dunno I did so many things, I focus on creating more work type relationships and connections I can't assess my personality properly even with billions amounts of work I find it heavy how backwards seeming "forward thinking" people are. 

Anyway thanks.... the podcast was quiet good from Dr.Tian I enjoy the guy, yet I notice for me everytime without having asian friends to a level I am fking lost. I don't know why, as well as many are not that open and the balance and egaltieran thinking is an extrem issue I don't know how to overcome as I don't benefit as much as many believe from egalterian type thinking. It just gives me some access. I dunno anyway... 

Edited May 19, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[Chives99]

Niceness is trying to hard and not being your authentic self, you can be kind and compassionate without being a people pleaser pushover so dont think you cant be loving either. Be your authentic self, if you love yourself then you can let people in. All this theory is too much, Love yourself be kind to other people but dont try and make someone like you, if they like you back then great, if not better luck with the next one

Edited May 19, 2023 by Chives99

[mr_engineer]

@ValiantSalvatore I relate to where you've been. I've been in that exact position when I was a student. 

I went on the full 'sigma male grindset' for a solid 3 years, after evaluating my options and making up my mind. Girls were a distraction, I fully focused on setting myself up for a good future. Then, my options with girls increased. 

The reality is that when you're that young, everything else is theory for you. It's all BS, it's all a distraction if you haven't achieved anything significant. And, until you get to that point, this will continue to haunt you. Don't even think about the 'high value' crap before you get this much done. All of this theory is a waste of your time. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

19 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

I relate to where you've been. I've been in that exact position when I was a student. 

I went on the full 'sigma male grindset' for a solid 3 years, after evaluating my options and making up my mind. Girls were a distraction, I fully focused on setting myself up for a good future. Then, my options with girls increased. 

The reality is that when you're that young, everything else is theory for you. It's all BS, it's all a distraction if you haven't achieved anything significant. And, until you get to that point, this will continue to haunt you. Don't even think about the 'high value' crap before you get this much done. All of this theory is a waste of your time. 

I finished my studies last year and had the same mindset, yet a lot of stuff came together I am doing a masters degree now as I was more interested in this and I notice how competitive my region is because it has an exellence cluster, so a lot of hot girls with masters degree, yet they basically want to see that in your profile or some other traits etc.

I am also becoming 30 next year this year 29 I did not have a very smooth pathway to this and notice so many mistakes, the point is I feel so different and I have difficulties after 2 deaths within my family to reconcile these wounds, and a serious diagnosis on how I coped with all of this. I don't enjoy most likely even biologically how much status I lost, and that there is not much I can do and girls that are acting likes animals and I notice how heavy the notion of evolution is imprinted in a scientific paradigm and to pro-create. 

You're correct that I am not happy, yet I notice everday how much brainwashing went into me, and how I find no one to talk about this. The point is the story of my life is everything that I ever enjoyed was either taken from me and or denied by enviroment and or shamed like a lot I could make plenty of lists, and I find strength in healthy social groups, yet all they talk about is girls and business and are bad at it and barely take any action, so they just work and isolate themselves. 

Things I have been shamed for for example and were taken from me or I had to do completely on my own.

• Interest in science & everything academically focused as my mother did not care about this stuff
• Masculinity and beign pititied and stereotyped for beign black and not having had a father with this "player" idea etc.
• My passion & interest in music as I was in music school & my mother and father were unabel to reconcile giving me a drum kit, and bringing that passion closer to me as  I really loved this.
• Generally the connection to smth. that was masculine to me.
• Stability and not having it beign seen as broken & unwhole even if I never saw it that way
• To much "nazi-feminist type" of thinking of beign forced to respect girls and to be neutral and blue pill alpha ideas as I was kind and nice from my aunt and mother at times, as if I would not respect girls themselves and it would need to be forced to me, as I seem OHHH dangerous!! Look it's tall and dark these type of notions.
• My abillity to exercise now due to injury 
• For beign depressed I am supposed to be naturally happy facing discrimination the whole day in school and when I talked at home about it there is a completey misunderstanding and just saying. Yep it is how it is better learn to deal with it and constantly having to ignore and isolate so many people, it's disgusting the level of how much I need to pull this of at times, as they make "race" such a thing if you're a tiny bit mixed and ethnicity debates etc. It gives them an excuse to talk about evolution and their own ideas about it.
• Interests in language entire class of french in uni dropped due to lack of interest of students (again alone isolated having to do things on my own)
• Loosing all friends due to personal development work giving my best to convince them, yet they all cared for material and money and holidays, which I did not enjoy as much. I was more interested in becoming the best version of what I could be.
• I was shamed for sexuality and beign black, and why I did not fuck that many girls and have a big dick 
• Practicality and work ethic I have the highest achievment of degree (besides my best friends girlfriend) from my old friend group and direct family, and they shamed me for not going out making money and beign pratical. 
• Intelligence and the idea of intelligence having to be practical and making money and basing everything on merit and giving me a lot of competitive vibes and yeah beat em fuck em up type of thinking, go win for us. I don't like my family and old region etc.
• Other things, yet this should give a picture. I was completely left alone, when I mentioned I struggle mentally when my grandma died.etc. etc. etc. 
  • I changed a lot because of this and even before this I lived & worked in China and was "acing" my studies I was just pretty good. 
  • there is more etc. For example my old psychotherapist wanted to diagnose me for giftedness, yet I don't have the status as well as even then the "natural" intelligence to back it up, I don't also look particularly intelligent just masculine.

I did the same, yet I had to much going on and did my best to find solutions, people continue to help me I just don't enjoy living with humans at times and humanity I don't find healthy men groups anymore as I can't join any ballsports activites and exercise is what kept me the most mentally healthy and sane. To ignore this, as girls find me daily attractive I just don't find a girl that I resonate with currently the one that resonated I noticed the age-gap, and I had so many revealing things to me. The point is the level of neglect of my parents is daily topic I don't know how to deal with well. I meet a lot of cool people and I feel empty if they don't have a little bit of uniquness to them, and I miss very good connections.  

My life purpose also includes moving to the U.S for a long time, and I have a citizenship I find it heavy for how much it's taken for granted and how the sense of reality that I have has been shattered so many times, I stopped caring at one point about stuff as most of my dreams simply have been denied and I had massive panic around stuff that I could not work well with, as stuff just accumulated to fast. Way to fking fast. I can't digest it till today properly I feel like I am beign groomed into an reproductive bot and I don't enjoy this notion. I can't do any of the things I dreamed of physically anymore. As I was extremely fit and motivated in this area to work and create smth. now I just don't have that edge anymore. 

At times I don't know how to cope, what to do where to find friends who are more interested in the samethings, as I just again worked for this change. I lost a lot of joy for life which I gained from jogging & sprinting beign in nature etc. It's not the same anymore I can't kid myself it's like saying cancer would not affect someones emotional state etc. As well as the power loss I incured with this and what many about me appreciated it's like I have to double down on my coures of action and still endure the current isolation. I had so many friends when I was succesful in uni it bothered me I was the hip cool guy etc. 

I don't know how much my degree is worth as it was integrative and included multiple aspects, I applied to things I am interested in, yet just have been declined the stuff what I built is not enough etc. I worked also immensely before this to change myself. 

Dude legit even with 16-14 is all I wanted is a normal pretty girlfriend and a somewhat norma life, yet I never really felt I had the chance. I lived also toxic and changed this. I dunno...I changed and gave this a chance there are so many options, yet I have to deal with so many setbacks and the path I choose with A.I engineering is not easy. and again I had this vision when I was 14-16, yet I just did not know it existed to work upon... so I applied myself late in this area...even in a hotspot, the irony of this etc. Is insane. 

Potential for music -> denied -> even having VGP....
Potential for science and interest -> not nutured
Potential for athletic success -> I declined as I liked academia more -> now denied due to injury after having a massive urge to life a healthy life and do fitness etc. (I do it now, yet it's not as athletic anymore)

I just never could endure the pain for to long and social pressures and it still get's to me today. I just can't find silver-linings after silverlinings and other patterns like having massive panic before breakthroughs are getting to me. Also at times just simply even beauty and not having attractive girls in my major etc. 

I am just out of dating I get good advice from someone who can help me to navigate Germany more clearly even as a German I dunno if it is my American genetics, yet I resent this country utterly at an level for beign so neutral and rational it's discriminating and the egaliterian crew is also just not what it is. I just somehow find mostly extremely high IQ people with whom I get along, and who act more like friends, yet they suck socially.

Or I get extremely high IQ social people who are running a business and are succesful with girls, yet they barely have time & only help online. 

[Schizophonia]

Your pad looks long, boring and wakes up my brain fog, I barely skimmed it lol. 
Since you seem a little aspie, I guess you like to be reasonable and productive, even though it's savage.

The whole problem is that you seem to be used to being submissive to authority because of your fear of dying, probably an early childhood trauma.
You have to do exercises and experience things that will make you realize that the balance of power is much more on your side than you think. 

I speak of authority because I assume that inhibition is caused by the unconscious recognition of energetic tendencies which, applied in matter, would attract the animosity of others and in particular your parents. I can recognize how a person is internally twisted in his way of expressing in a box what could fit in 3 sentences subtlety understood. 

Btw, thank you for your post, it helps me by mirror effect to dig my own mechanisms. 

Because we are all one, and what I must recognize in you I must recognize the possibility in me and, potentially, the activity. 

Edited May 19, 2023 by Schizophonia

[ValiantSalvatore]

35 minutes ago, RebornConsciousness said:

Do not do any fucking "sigma grindset" or any cringe shit like that. Fact is, heavilly working on socializing will solve both your dating situation, AND it is absolutely crucial for work as well. What do you think work is, or a business is? Just a bunch of people in rooms you need to socialize with.

However, doing the inverse with subpar social skills will not only stun your career, but you'll be likely dateless and friendless as well. No woman really gives a shit about your money, no woman really gives a damn about your muscles either. You should still work out and make money, but in your mind, you need to leave the women out of it, and realize YOU and YOUR PSYCHOLOGY is the reason why it's hard for you, not some external circumstances. Do not believe people who'll tell you otherwise, cause they are full of shit and easily proven wrong.

Just work on everything, but realize what is for what. Do not think that you'll be able to fit a square peg down the round hole.

My social skills are abnormally good, in a sense as I can go deep with people quickly, all the deeper PD and spiritual work and generally my personality just made me more immune to this I have been going out since I was 14 as it was common, the point is I need a bit more of advanced social skills and specifically to get girls I am also introverted so stuff can get stale, yet I am also a guy who can entertain a whole table on his own, if I vibe with the crowd. Yeah I notice yet I worked and put a lot of emphasis on psychology, yet I had also such deep insights I just notice how subtle all of these frames are and how heavy I feel I am beign drilled to be a reproductive drone & or a cold hearted mercenary. 

I can be to much at times, and can invite myself to high stakeholder places in a sense and they take care of me etc. 

The issue is having had others who put my social skills down and asking my unskilled social skill type questions like, why are you looking at me? Why are you so quiet? Stuff like this where I feel perplexed at times what to do and how basic it can be and enjoyable. Like talking about cats & dogs and what color her dress is for example. Because I have character etc. I tend to dominate a lot emotionally. 

When I went and did game the coach complimented me on how well I did, the issue is to be so isolated that I have to do this on my own, and it's not like I am doing game, it's like I am beign just a social animal that is alone with other social animals etc. When I do what I enjoy doing I talk the whole fking time as I find others information content so boring, yet when I work on goals it becomes different. 

[Schizophonia]

+ to give an example: see how you seek to justify yourself then through posts as long as your arm to simply say in substance:
"oh I'm unhappy, I want to make love and hug a girl but I can't because I'm inhibited/too nice and too socially unfit at the moment, I would like some advice"

See also how a person like you who is supposed to be "high iq" and who probably already has the solution in mind (go to google), prefers to post a topic on actualized, certainly under the impulse of frustration.

The only purpose of your topic is to ask for the love/attention that you are in short supply of in everyday life.
But it won't work, because even there, anonymous on a forum, you censor yourself and reproduce the usual pattern. In short, most people will read your pad, have a headache and leave.

Do you feel concerned by what I wrote? If yes how much? I too am looking for the wild truth to improve my glasses 

Edited May 19, 2023 by Schizophonia

[ValiantSalvatore]

17 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Your pad looks long, boring and wakes up my brain fog, I barely skimmed it lol. 
Since you seem a little autistic, I guess you like to be reasonable and productive, even though it's savage.

The whole problem is that you seem to be used to being submissive to authority because of your fear of dying, probably an early childhood trauma.
You have to do exercises and experience things that will make you realize that the balance of power is much more on your side than you think. 

I speak of authority because I assume that inhibition is caused by the unconscious recognition of energetic tendencies which, applied in matter, would attract the animosity of others and in particular your parents. I can recognize how a person is internally twisted in his way of expressing in a box what could fit in 3 sentences subtlety understood. 

Btw, thank you for your post, it helps me by mirror effect to dig my own mechanisms. 

Because we are all one, and what I must recognize in you I must recognize the possibility in me and, potentially, the activity. 

I would appreciate it if you have a serious mental ilness to leave out far-off diagnosis. I don't have anything and worked with a licensed psychologist it's fundamentally anger and frustration I have an issue and self-control and some subtle notions within that. Yes, I fear dying as I would actually kill myself imagine I do have fear as I have stuff to loose and I generally hold on to live. I am completely anit-authority and a rebel by heart. I can at times feel powerless, so does everyone the point is having a stronger sense of reality. As they steadily test you if you fit within the group etc. etc. The point is 90% of the time I am the authority I only am agreeable with people that I enjoy beign with, especially offline otherwise I am not very submissive to authority. I am very aware of who I give authority and can take that back within seconds, it's mostly social pressures and group dynamics I can struggle with if people seek to much reassurance I can't provide this. Etc. 

I take what you say with a grain of salt, as you see my social skills and perceptive is so canny then that I don't even need to talk and this was also partially in this Dr. Tians podcast that raze posted. 

I appreciate your response, some stuff is good, I enjoy beign resonable and not rational and I enjoy beign produtive a fking lot. I just don't enjoy socities notion about various things and projections, and it feels like an extra pressure and talking point etc. 

I most likely almost died at birth, yet I can't recall anymore if that info is correct, because I was operated at birth and or could have died, so I subconsciously stop often it's way to deep to touch this also and I would really need an extremely good therapist as there is fundamentally subtle pain in every breath and sometimes people misinterpret my body language, while I just need a short break and or do this to relieve pain, when I walked a long distance etc. 

They also steadily sense something is off, yet my nervous system is also most likely because of this more alert. Is the scar is huge from the operation etc. etc. 

That is the irony I get every authority and hence responsibility and the blame, also I don't do well with that as a rebel you see? I like generally holistic teams, yet they don't exist. The best I get is a flat hierachy and if I am lucky someone who acts & thinks holistically with me etc. 

Edited May 19, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

22 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

+ to give an example: see how you seek to justify yourself then through posts as long as your arm to simply say in substance:
"oh I'm unhappy, I want to make love and hug a girl but I can't because I'm inhibited/too nice and too socially unfit at the moment, I would like some advice"

See also how a person like you who is supposed to be "high iq" and who probably already has the solution in mind (go to google), prefers to post a topic on actualized, certainly under the impulse of frustration.

The only purpose of your topic is to ask for the love/attention that you are in short supply of in everyday life.
But it won't work, because even there, anonymous on a forum, you censor yourself and reproduce the usual pattern. In short, most people will read your crappy pad, have a headache and leave.

Do you feel concerned by what I wrote? If yes how much? I too am looking for the wild truth to improve my glasses 

I don't really believe you realize how serious this is, it feels like I am talking to a kid. I enjoy the conscious attention I can give to myself, the issue is I am a biological creature with cravings that I also take care of. The point is the solutions I have a rather alternatives and many are like sure go ahead, and I don't like the consistent risk I found some people who can give me solid advice, yet you can see for yourself where you find that. 

The whole topic was about a life purpose,weakness niceness and an egaliterian society and how that dynamic plays out. If I would give you the simplistic solution it would be the shit I am already doing. So I don't even need to worry. I generally do this  I did not have the best relationship to security and many see me as security which is an issue. I just don't know how to work at this and beign alone and not writting these posts is worse at times than just completely isolating myself that is absolutely toxic as hell. 

I also don't believe we act from a fundamental level where we would could have a mutual understanding with out me feeling like you remind me of someone I truely dislike for his attitude and pragmatism frame. I generally stopped in "real life"...........................

to justify myself I do seek reassurance at times and this is normal to some level, I don't call my friends late at night etc. or stuff like this etc. etc. I am mostly concerned by the level of isolation and interaction and loosing of friends I incured. I don't feel concerned if you're interested in feedback maybe 5% it's more feedback and food for thought. Anyway, we don't resonate I am sure of it. I appreciate your energy though. 

Edited May 19, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

11 hours ago, RebornConsciousness said:

If you could summarize the gist of your problem into few sentences or just a single short paragraph, that would be helpfull. Because I really can't tell what your problem is, you seem all over the place. You have to organize your thought and both write and speak in a concise manner. I have this problem as well sometimes

Mostly the core of my issue are multiple things here is a concise list: as well as paragraph that creates an oversight.

• Beign to nice and not knowing how to fix is as I get the opposite projection and I am very masculine
• The issue of having a life purpose that feels to weak as I incured plenty of looses during the path lacking internal strength
• The amount of isolation and negative experiences I made with Germans as to their egaliterian hypergamy perspective and discrimination and then framing it on me etc.
• The inability of some girls to realize they have a discriminating attitude 
• To consistently do stuff alone to much and not finding friends with similar interest to meet girls
• The mental challenge of the injury and the social power loss of it, often me beign forced in some manner to speak about it
• The notion of especially "intellectual" type girls to be discriminating bias on notions of mechanistic survival and reproduction without noticing it especially if they are liberal and abusing politics without empathy, just playing power dynamics
• Not finding the inner strength anymore to attract girls with my true vision, as a lot of this stuff is against society
• The level of pragmatism and expert bias, generally also projection and glee type of humour I don't deal well with it
• Inabillity to meet women consistently outside of apps (I do get matches I could have put some effort into meeting 3 girls for example this week)
• The issue of having lost high quality men aspects, such as strength & compassion I feel physically absolutely battered.
• My social circle now beign mostly computer guys who are socially very manipulaitve & status oriented without them noticing

I fundamentally don't feel like my life purpose is helping me to get girls, as well as the amount of isolation now due to injury I don't know how to fix this and my age as well as success has been bothering me for a while and I can't get rid of these notions I am heavily disappointed at myself, and I could only do so much. When I act more vulnerable I feel utterly abused by girls and I shut down as I would most likely loose it at one point, I can only give a little with people I trust that helps. The level of process orientation and just continuing is at times to much, as I don't enjoy a lot of things anymore and can't build the adventurous sporty lifestyle that I yearned for and worked for. I am just massively dejected at times, and I don't enjoy the level of development of most college students, this is mostly internal and despite all efforts I dunno how to change it. I just don't enjoy existing at times anymore, I know it's heavy/odd to say this I don't enjoy beign human a lot. I don't like it.

• I did psychotherapy and worked with multiple one even if only briefly
• Experiemented with psychedelics
• Exercise & mindfulness meditation healthy eating
• Going to networking events making some new friends 
• I do shadow work now actively currently even on this plattform
• Generally calling people if I don't feel well. 
• Having most solutions, yet lacking social support that I can enjoy most simply don't care anymore
• Asked friends & family for support etc.

Edited May 20, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[hyruga]

You can write very well and I will presume you can speak just as well so I don't think there is any issue with you to attract girls. You will definitely attract girls down the route.

You have already realized your weakness so it's a matter of time when you break out of it. Realization is part of the learning process. Once you know it, you will start to be less nice and becomes a more whole person. Being a less nice person does not mean you become a total asshole or a lone wolf who only cares about himself, it means you are able to see the bigger picture and the more important things to do in every situation and act in a mature way.

[ValiantSalvatore]

9 hours ago, hyruga said:

You can write very well and I will presume you can speak just as well so I don't think there is any issue with you to attract girls. You will definitely attract girls down the route.

You have already realized your weakness so it's a matter of time when you break out of it. Realization is part of the learning process. Once you know it, you will start to be less nice and becomes a more whole person. Being a less nice person does not mean you become a total asshole or a lone wolf who only cares about himself, it means you are able to see the bigger picture and the more important things to do in every situation and act in a mature way.

Thanks, no I attract them all the time the issue is social situations and going for a number etc. Girls are turned on often even when they have a boyfriend as I focus a lot on acting more masculine, indifferent and alpha instead of nice. I just need a couple of relationships with guy&girls a like to break free and listen to the advice to one player I meet, as he is more interested in getting a girlfriend, yet might be stuck in consciouness work. 

The point is ever since I solidly hit teal in SD I have a lot of power in social situations I just lack stabillity with friendships and consistency to not burn out, as well as a place where there are more attractive girls. 

Actually you just gave me more ideas on how to fix things, nothing is lost and I overreacted most likely as this girl (2 time) called me a sexist for saying to her. Girls from xxx are very shy. I could not believe it. I was slightly triggered by this and do shadow work around this now I don't enjoy attracting girls who have trauma etc. etc.. I deleted all apps and focus on networking via a career, usually people enjoy having me with them. As I am chill & high energy. Thanks for just responding I get plenty of ideas even when stuff is wrong and people project. I did not think as far, as to move regions again after just beign here for 1 year, as I don't enjoy it. So that gives me more internal self-motivation for studies and pushing career. Thank you again!

[Schizophonia]

@ValiantSalvatore You bother too much with pompous, long, mechanical descriptions of things that are simple and sentimental in nature.
You're probably confined to being nice to girls without "pushing" the point, you have to research it and it seems to me that Leo talked about it on one of his videos on the subject. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

5 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

You bother too much with pompous, long, mechanical descriptions of things that are simple and sentimental in nature.
You're probably confined to being nice to girls without "pushing" the point, you have to research it and it seems to me that Leo talked about it on one of his videos on the subject. 

Again I appreciate your advice and energy. Also if you seriously have a mental illness I would appreciate it if you stop engaging with me, I don't do well with these type of people for my own sake. I warn you and I will simply block & mute you, I don't have space for this. I found my answer through some feedback, and it's quiet simple to have a stronger sense of reality. @hyruga comment certainly helped me to figure that out, so again thanks to him and Leo's video about gaslighting. 

Edited May 20, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[Schizophonia]

1 hour ago, ValiantSalvatore said:

Again I appreciate your advice and energy. Also if you seriously have a mental illness I would appreciate it if you stop engaging with me, I don't do well with these type of people for my own sake. I warn you and I will simply block & mute you, I don't have space for this. I found my answer through some feedback, and it's quiet simple to have a stronger sense of reality. @hyruga comment certainly helped me to figure that out, so again thanks to him and Leo's video about gaslighting. 

 

It is a demagogic concept.

[BlessedLion]

20 hours ago, RebornConsciousness said:

Do not do any fucking "sigma grindset" or any cringe shit like that. Fact is, heavilly working on socializing will solve both your dating situation, AND it is absolutely crucial for work as well. What do you think work is, or a business is? Just a bunch of people in rooms you need to socialize with.

However, doing the inverse with subpar social skills will not only stun your career, but you'll be likely dateless and friendless as well. No woman really gives a shit about your money, no woman really gives a damn about your muscles either. You should still work out and make money, but in your mind, you need to leave the women out of it, and realize YOU and YOUR PSYCHOLOGY is the reason why it's hard for you, not some external circumstances. Do not believe people who'll tell you otherwise, cause they are full of shit and easily proven wrong.

Just work on everything, but realize what is for what. Do not think that you'll be able to fit a square peg down the round hole.

Yeah this dude nailed it