Considering self medicating with ecstasy

[Hugo Oliveira]

I'm having ups and downs with depression in the last 10 years.

Tried almost everything. Few results. 

I have no energy or willpower to do retreats (which I believe can be helpful). 

I don't feel stable enough to face a psychedelic trip. 

I believe that the key is in inner exploration. Getting insight and releasing trauma. 

I already tried tons of holotropic breathwork, fasting, retreats and I had a "bad trip" microdosing lsd. 

 

[RamPhoenix]

27 minutes ago, Hugo Oliveira said:

releasing trauma.

This for me was the path to curing my depressive states.  IMO

best for releasing trauma....5-meo-dmt & a qualified behaviorist savvy w/ 5meo for the integration.

 

[enzyme]

I'd recommend doing a low dose on mushrooms if you can get your hands on some.  Speaking from personal experience a low dose was pivotal for me to overcome the depressive fog I was living under for a long time.  Assuming of course you've done research on what potential effects you can feel and just go into it with an open mind.

[Juan]

Had you tried checking yourself with a doctor? To see if you’re getting the nutrients you really need? Talked with a psychologist? Before touching psychedelics, I recommend doing the best as possible sober. Do you feel align with your Life Purpose? (Cuz in my case if I’m not doing what I love, I feel terrible). Being in nature helps my mood too.

Edited May 26, 2023 by Juan

[LSD-Rumi]

@Hugo Oliveira You may have bipolar type 2 disorder or cyclothymic disorder which are characterized by long periods of depression. For me, what helped is lamotrigine and ketamine. See a psychiatrist!

[Schizophonia]

1 hour ago, LSD-Rumi said:

@Hugo Oliveira You may have bipolar type 2 disorder or cyclothymic disorder which are characterized by long periods of depression. For me, what helped is lamotrigine and ketamine. See a psychiatrist!

He said he has depression, dissociatives will make it worse.
Ketamine is an exception because it's dopaminergic, but it still makes you lethargic and you can't use it all the time.

 

@Hugo Oliveira

Have you done any blood tests? I can tell you what to test tomorrow if you want and enlighten you on potential problems.

edit : you cannot take MDMA regularly, it is neurotoxic.
The best would be to first try (difficult to say since there is no blood test) for example an anti-prolactin like Cabergoline, acts in the long term (one/two doses per week of memory) will have a direct anti-depressant effect through D2 agonism and indirectly by suppressing prolactin (which will in turn increase the production of pituitary hormones and improve the efficiency of the gonadotropic axis in general, testosterone and androgens, even estrogen has an antidepressant effect by increasing the signaling of catecholamines, histamine and neurotransmitters in general).

Metergoline or bupropion should be good too.

Edited May 26, 2023 by Schizophonia

[LSD-Rumi]

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

He said he has depression, dissociatives will make it worse.
Ketamine is an exception because it's dopaminergic, but it still makes you lethargic and you can't use it all the time.

Lol, Ketamine is FDA approved for depression.

[Schizophonia]

49 minutes ago, LSD-Rumi said:

Lol, Ketamine is FDA approved for depression.

As a last resort, usually for suicidal people.
Otherwise it is never used chronically because it is potentially neurotoxic and simply toxic.

And I specified that it was an exception in dissociatives/anaesthetics because ketamine (especially the S isomer) is VERY dopaminergic.

Why not just use a dopaminergic agent which will be much safer?

[halfknots]

There are many reports of peoples life and outlook being completely and permanently changed for the better after a single positive MDMA experience.

That being said, expecting this to happen would be a mistake, and repeatedly using MDMA to lift ones mood may can seriously fuck up one's life.

Approach the experience with an open heart and an open mind. Do plenty of research, test your chems, dose responsibly, and let the feelings come ❤️‍????

[LSD-Rumi]

2 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

As a last resort, usually for suicidal people.
Otherwise it is never used chronically because it is potentially neurotoxic and simply toxic.

And I specified that it was an exception in dissociatives/anaesthetics because ketamine (especially the S isomer) is VERY dopaminergic.

Why not just use a dopaminergic agent which will be much safer?

Ketamine is totally safe apart from bladder issues with chronic use. It will be used in the future as an adjuvant treatment with antidepressants because it works instantly.

[LSD-Rumi]

36 minutes ago, halfknots said:

There are many reports of peoples life and outlook being completely and permanently changed for the better after a single positive MDMA experience.

This is a pipe dream. Mental illness has very deep roots in the human mind unless it is some sort of mild depression. a severe mental illness doesn't go away from a single use of any psychedelic. it needs tens of sessions to clean the mind of all the traumas, suffering, and limiting beliefs.

[OBEler]

Mdma is the way to go. just one to three times with long breaks in between.

If you need therapist, I would contact the one I recommended you. There are too many out there with almost no psychedelic experience

[Razard86]

Depression is caused by the belief that you can some how make yourself better. All of these responses are just chasing experiences which are impermanent. Even therapy is impermanent because a therapist is only a guide. 

What is the solution? Self-Love. How do you love yourself? Through application. You need to apply yourself so hard in life to the utmost degree till you realize no achievement can ever permanently fulfill you.

 

Once you realize that you are on the path finally from the delusion that something needs to change for you to have self-worth.