What has been & currently is the hardest part of dating / pickup for you?

[Miguel1]

I’m curious.

What are you currently struggling the most with in meeting women and dating them?

What about what has been the hardest in the past, if it is not that which you are struggling the most with currently?

[integral]

It would be meeting mature stable people to date who have a similar world view to me and can laugh at them selves. 

[Miguel1]

10 minutes ago, integral said:

It would be meeting mature stable people to date who have a similar world view to me and can laugh at them selves. 

What is your plan to go about solving this?

[Roy]

Currently in a committed relationship with a great woman, but I kind of came across her by random circumstance. Didn't really seek it out.

Before that the biggest struggle for me and I'd would argue most guys is probably the rampant hypergamy and delusional expectations women have these days. This is all supported by verified app statistics and marriage/divorce rates. It's an inarguable reality these days. It's probably just a phase in the development of culture, so it's likely things will balance out in the future. Though with the way technology is going I'm not optimistic. The tentacles of social media have infiltrated every aspect of our lives unrestrained, and with the way AI chatbots and how good dolls are becoming I find it possible we could have a scenario where people organize themselves so the top 10% of men have a harem over nearly all the women in society except the bottom 20% they don't want. I could see this happening for a little while but everything would collapse pretty quickly and people will be clamoring for stability and sanity again.

Also just meeting feminine women that are happy being  feminine women these days is extremely rare.

Edited May 16, 2023 by Roy

[hyruga]

The hardest part is made up of 2 parts.

1. Finding the compatible and loving person you actually love.

2. Where the logistic/travel is not very far.

But If you are in for long distance relationship, go for it man. I won't stop you.

Edited May 17, 2023 by hyruga

[meta_male]

The hardest part for me was becoming conscious of my own BS.

[Kid A]

Flirting. It feels very unnatural to do and when I do it, I usually get rejected, which makes my mood reach rock bottom. That surely doesn't help! 

[Spiral]

Motivating myself to make an effort.

[PurpleTree]

The fear and shame of approaching and rejection

[nhoktinvt]

@Kid A rejection is only normal she might have a boyfriend or whatever and that's out of your control

@PurpleTree that's ok, society might react negatively when you decided to start this pickup adventure that's because they conform to the no-balls status quo and you gotta be the leader and grow your own balls 
in the end, do it for you cause nobody else will.

[PurpleTree]

7 minutes ago, nhoktinvt said:

@Kid A rejection is only normal she might have a boyfriend or whatever and that's out of your control

@PurpleTree that's ok, society might react negatively when you decided to start this pickup adventure that's because they conform to the no-balls status quo and you gotta be the leader and grow your own balls 
in the end, do it for you cause nobody else will.

Maybe i‘m also scared what happens if a very beautiful/interesting (imo) woman  actually doesn‘t reject me because of attachment issues.

Edited May 18, 2023 by PurpleTree

[nhoktinvt]

@PurpleTree i think your attachment issues are bs, the solution is be grounded to truth, truth will make you invincible to any issues you face and if the truth is that you and the girl is not compatible then you break up with her, move on and not hold grudges, bitterness
if you're in a traumatized state you need to integrate, forgive and let it go and then you can move into a free, inspiring state 

[PurpleTree]

16 minutes ago, nhoktinvt said:

@PurpleTree i think your attachment issues are bs, the solution is be grounded to truth, truth will make you invincible to any issues you face and if the truth is that you and the girl is not compatible then you break up with her, move on and not hold grudges, bitterness
if you're in a traumatized state you need to integrate, forgive and let it go and then you can move into a free, inspiring state 

Well in terms of attachment i mean. Not having a stable childhood, left by father etc. So theres a part in me that‘s always scared to do/say the wrong thing and getting left because of it.

[BlessedLion]

Probably approach. Just that anxiety. If I do 5 approaches I’m pretty much guaranteed one will go well 

[nhoktinvt]

15 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

So theres a part in me that‘s always scared to do/say the wrong thing and getting left because of it.

well fuck man, give some love to that lower-self part just fking do it, because that is you and if people leave you understand that you still have yourself, so don't be sad or guilt yourself that's bs, that's bs from low self-esteem wounded people 
about not having a stable childhood, you can have a stable adulthood, left by father, you still have your mother, you can still be strong when facing adversity but will you do it ?

[Kid A]

11 hours ago, nhoktinvt said:

@Kid A rejection is only normal she might have a boyfriend or whatever and that's out of your control

Sorry, I should have clarified: I meant during dates, not cold approach.  

[lizz_luna]

On 5/16/2023 at 7:29 PM, Roy said:

 

Before that the biggest struggle for me and I'd would argue most guys is probably the rampant hypergamy and delusional expectations women have these days.

This is very true for me. I have come across a big issue of myself which is having incredibly high expectations for men I date, making them feel "not good enough" and it is a patter im working on. How do you think one can work on this issue or support your partner who acknowledges this pattern and wants to work it out with you?

 

[Miguel1]

23 hours ago, BlessedLion said:

Probably approach. Just that anxiety. If I do 5 approaches I’m pretty much guaranteed one will go well 

I was just reading your report 6 months ago:

Powerful report. You said:

''-Authenticity, nothing else matters. All these silly Owen Cook and Social dynamic videos and courses can be dropped if you just understand that if you are calm, authentic, comfortable in your skin, and kind to others people will love you. And they will love you for who you are not because you know some stupid social tricks and can manipulate really well, that shit is exhausting anyway. Just connect with them and be real they can feel that on a subconscious level''

----

How do you feel about this statement in the report right now?

[BlessedLion]

Yeah thanks for the reminder. I wrote that in a very high state of consciousness and clarity. It helped me to re read. So thanks. 
 

In truth the whole thing is extremely nuanced and complex. One on hand it’s true, just be good vibes honest and kind. But also it’s good to have some ideas and distinctions to the social game and some of those Owen cook videos can be helpful. 
 

the problem is when people use it soulessly to manipulate and stuff. 
 

I actually started a course with them just to hone my understanding of social dynamics a bit. But honestly, I don’t know how much it’s helping, I feel this original post I made had enough wisdom in it. 

[blackchair]

finding coral gay guy around my age, i don't think he even exists,  i WILL die alone in a cave, eaten by animals....