Can I Just Let Go?

[Venus]

For a long time I've been always feeling down and like I'm not good enough because of what I've just been realising lately, that I irrationally believe basically that I'm unworthy of happiness or I can't achieve the things I truly want to blah blah blah: negative thought patterns.

I find when I let go of holding onto conscious thoughts; when I let go of the part that reminds me of these beliefs and worries, then of course it feels so much more relieving. But it's a practice and I wonder if I can just suddenly always keep that level of consciousness.

The one thing I keep feeling is necessary is that I create positive thought habits before I choose to let go of those thoughts and to try and just focus on keeping that consciousness at that high level so I'll be okay for when I inevitably fall back into relying on thoughts sometimes.

Part of me says "just jump for consciousness, don't worry" but another part says "don't and instead build yourself the best habitual thought responses to be safe."

What's the danger in just jumping?

Is the worry justified, or is it just worrying for the sake of worrying?

[Pierre]

Hello Venus, 

I've been stuck in this heartbreaking conflict for years!  A part of you wants to let go and just be conscious, and the other fights back with all its might because it feels threatened. You'll have to surrender one day or an other, that's the Way, but you can't force it. Trying to let go is as much an expression of the separate self as trying to control life through positive thinking. I'd say "play it cool", and accept the conflict. Live it as consciously as you can, without trying to choose, and one day the jumping will come of itself. In fact, there's really nothing you can do...realizing this is "letting go". But the understanding has to make its way through layers and layers of conditioning. 

The guy who helped me a lot in this process is Alan Watts. You can read anything from him, but I'd recommend "The Wisdom of Insecurity", "The Way of Zen", and "Tao: The Watercourse Way". Or check his videos on Youtube!

And of course, meditation. Allow the mind to relax.

I hope this can help, and wish you all the best.

 

[Prabhaker]

On 3/16/2017 at 2:20 AM, Venus said:

don't and instead build yourself the best habitual thought responses to be safe

You have to go inch by inch, preparing, living moment to moment. And as you grow more familiar with the beauty of the unknown you start creating a new quality in you.  What matters is your choice: your choice to learn, your choice to experience, your choice to go into the dark. Slowly slowly your courage will start functioning. And sharpness of intelligence is not something separate from courage, it is almost one organic whole.

 Always be ready to move from the known to the unknown, in anything, any experience. It is better, even if the unknown proves worse than the known - that is not the point. Just your change from the known to the unknown, your readiness to move from the known to the unknown, is what matters.

On 3/16/2017 at 2:20 AM, Venus said:

What's the danger in just jumping?

The fear is of losing yourself. For the same reason people are afraid of love; for the same reason people are afraid of trust; for the same reason they remain enclosed in all kinds of fears, miseries, anxieties and anguish, because at least these feel familiar. And one thing is certain; they don’t ask you to be lost. The more painful your life is, the more you are.

Perhaps deep down you desire pain, you desire misery, you desire anguish, because that keeps you clearly defined. You are afraid of the same things for which you also have a longing. On the one hand, there is a longing to go beyond all fears, beyond all anxieties, beyond all suffering. But the problem becomes complex, because being beyond suffering you are also beyond yourself — you are the suffering. You are the prison, that’s why you are afraid to get out of it. On the contrary, you try to console yourself in every way, that “This is not a prison, this is my home.”

The fear is, is there something beyond your personality? You are not aware of it, you have never come across it — you have never met yourself. You know only the superficial that has been told to you. You don’t know on your own authority your essential, your inner. And of course nobody else can say anything about your inner.

[Leo Gura]

@Venus Even if you became enlightened tomorrow, you'd still not be out of the woods. Your growth journey would only begin.

Enlightenment will not clear out all your crap, or install healthy habits in you, or remove toxic habits in you, or any other things which you probably want.

Spirituality basically consists of two things: finding the Truth (enlightenment) and working your ass off to embody the Truth. You're not even remotely capable of finding the Truth unless you start working your ass off to embody it already. Which is why most spiritual traditions and schools involve rigorous training and development before you are even told what enlightenment is.

It's a bad idea to hold enlightenment as a cure-all solution to all of your issues and desires. You need to be a lot more nuanced than that, and do all kinds of additional personal development work.

The only exception to this is maybe if by "surrender" you mean you'll go live in a cave for the rest of your life. Then you just surrender to that, and go do it. Eventually you'll realize that path will circle back around into personal development anyhow. You cannot live successfully in this physical reality without personal development. So you might as well start mastering it now. Which means if you have negative thoughts, solve that shit now.

[Pierre]

@Venus I'm afraid you are getting very contradictory advice here...Welcome into the Spiritual Jungle!

Some, like Leo, see a coherence and a continuity between personal development and spirituality. Some don't.

It's the old problem of Works vs Faith. My line is clear: you can make great efforts, with the thought: "Maybe if I work as hard as the Great Sages of Old, I can get it in twenty years or in my next  incarnation", or you can relax, be one with your experience, and enjoy life. Many people will see you as a hopeless hippie, but you won't care!

Don't get me wrong. This attitude doesn't prevent you from meditating, reading,  exercising, working, or taking care of a family. But there will be an easiness that will make these things much more pleasant and fruitful.

In any case, the Path will unfold, according to your earnestness.

Good luck!

[Prabhaker]

9 minutes ago, Pierre said:

I'm afraid you are getting very contradictory advice here...Welcome into the Spiritual Jungle!

Some, like Leo, see a coherence and a continuity between personal development and spirituality. Some don't.

Goal is one, path may be different, all are correct. For an extrovert person path will different from an introvert person.

[Bob84]

@Venus you need to think to function. Its more about the credit and importance you are giving to your thoughts. You can repace a negative thought with a thought of a tomato. But fact is both are a thought and in that sense equal. Just stop attaching to it. 

Make a daily routine where you do not think. So that becomes a natural state. From that state all will become clear. 

Get out of your head. A simple trick is to bring your attention to body sensations.