What is the most important principle in dating or pickup?

[mr_engineer]

The most important principle is - Frame is everything. 

When women talk about you as a man, they're talking about your frame. The reason assholes do well with women, even though they're morons who are irresponsible and reckless, objectively, is that they're more willing to fight. And, this gives them a 'strong frame' with women. Whereas, being a nice guy gives you a 'weak frame', even if you're objectively a stronger, more responsible person. 

Most women's conception of 'strength' is shallow. Because their agenda is to compare their options and to choose the best one. So, in their minds, they're comparing your frames. This is why being aggressive works with women. 

This is also why most relationships are not loving. Because both sides aren't seeing each other for who they are. 

So, if you want a loving relationship, here's what you do in order :

• the first thing you do is you become more self-aware, self-loving and see yourself for who you are.
• The next step is that you learn about women, sober yourself relative to them and you see them for who they are. This will show you the different types of women out there and it'll give you a sample size to pick from. 
• The next step is to figure out what compatibility looks like and to figure out how to vet these women for compatibility. This is your 'dating-strategy', so to speak. This will fully incorporate your truth of what you want. And this is where you construct your vision for the type of relationship you want, based on reality. 
• Then, the next step is to figure out how to embody your authenticity/integrity so that you know how to put yourself out there and how to show up for women. Women have different roles for you and when you show up for the ones with the right roles for you, you can show yourself as 'compatible' to them. This is your opportunity to create win-wins with them. (Analogous to the 'product-market fit' concept in business) This will also give you an idea of what it means to 'get ready for long-term relationship' 
• Then, you go on monk-mode and prepare yourself for long-term relationship. It will be very tempting to use your existing SMV to indulge in casual sex. But, this will be a distraction if what you want is a long-term relationship. So, no dating until you're ready. 
• Then, finally, when you're ready, you hard-screen women for compatibility and you rationally evaluate your options before you decide whom to commit to. This is where it will be important to not settle and to pick the best option that's right for you. 

[mmKay]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Well, you gotta be working on your inner game alongside going out.

Visualization exercises are really good for that.

Elaborate please? Some specific examples maybe?

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOae2s8JOUE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TzI2H3pNaU

 

[StarStruck]

8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Well, you gotta be working on your inner game alongside going out.

Visualization exercises are really good for that.

I’m going out once a week and I do get rapport and phone numbers of hot girls but I can see it on their face and I can feel it in my body that my vibe is off due to depression, low LOC (and low vibe) and I don’t love life. A girl can’t fixed this. My therapist couldn’t even fixed this.

So I’m doing my own thing with Joe Dispenza (release/visualization work) so I’m not in the mood to put up a song and dance for a random chick but I still go out once a week for to exercise discipline.
 

I feel like vibe is 80% of game. You can be the best guy but if your vibe is off, she is not interested. I can pull girls below my standard but that is just not fulfilling  

 

[Roy]

I know it sounds silly, but try to be like Peter in Office Space after he gets hypnotized. Just a calm, careless confidence and fearlessness.

 

[StarStruck]

3 hours ago, Nabd said:

I just read this.

Yes vibe is crucial, it make or break your game or literally any social interaction.

Everyone suffer from bad vibes from time to time, I usually fix this by hanging out with my friends and just saying dirty jokes or just doing anything fun that makes us laugh, and in 30mins I feel confident and my vibe become relaxed and positive energy, so if you got a group of friends then you must do this.

If not, find friends, find people who are willing to just joke around and say dumb shit.

Btw its possible to be a lone wolf and have good vibes, you dont need friends but its the easier route, but you can be seductive alone and have a melancholic vibe too, I had success with this, the trick is to show the girl that you are fine just being yourself, if she smells you trying to up your vibe then thats a turn off.

The cool people with whom I could shoot shit don’t mingle well with my depressive and insecure vibe. People basically give you to what you are entitled to and I don’t have pretty low self worth and insecurities although objectively I don’t have anything to be insecure about. 

I get compliments all time and I see girls checking me and my style out. I have the ability to have high vibes but it is only once in a blue moon. Alcohol helps but even without I’m able to pump up my state. I found out these are temporary solutions. 

For example today I did some day game during my trip to the supermarket and people loved my abundant vibe. what was the cause for this vibe? A girl invited me on a date this morning. I know it is pretty petty but I can’t help myself. 

The root solution to my problem is that I don’t like life. From experience I know that a girl won’t solve this problem. I have to fix this myself with Joe Dispenza’s stuff.  Boxing helped me too to develop character and not buckle in the face of adversity. The only way I’m able to get girls is because of this warrior vibe I give off but it is not enough. Girls want a guy who has the vibe of somebody who loves life. 

I’m not going invest my time trying to act like a love life just to get some fun. I’m trying to find a way to love life. 

Edited May 13, 2023 by StarStruck

[meta_male]

9 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

I’m not going invest my time trying to act like a love life just to get some fun. I’m trying to find a way to love life. 

Have you tried therapy?

[StarStruck]

1 hour ago, meta_male said:

Have you tried therapy?

Yes. 

Edited May 13, 2023 by StarStruck

[Bando]

These are not in particular order just what came to mind

1.Create a lifestyle that aligns with meeting women frequently

2. Always ask to meet 1v1 when you run an interaction with a girl

3. In certain cases persistence is necessary, and shouldn't be seen as "low value"

4. When you enjoy life and are making progress towards goals talking to women becomes easier and more enjoyable

5. Always look to lead interactions 

6. Learn how to build emotional resiliency

7. Have friends who are also on the journey of Pickup you can exchange ideas and exp with

[Jacob Morres]

11 hours ago, Nabd said:

When you approach and the girl is rude

I think 

Tf weirdo. ? ? She weird and rude 

Tons of girls out here with good vibes and good energy 

Then go onto the next 

Edited May 14, 2023 by Jacob Morres

[Jacob Morres]

@Nabd but also even if youre doing things wrong 

Personally speaking, don't f with rude/mean ppl 

Tho in some situations it could be warranted ig. Like if ur pushing boundaries or smth 

Edited May 16, 2023 by Jacob Morres

[Juressic]

Most important principle is: Don't be boring, ugly, rude, desperate, shy, tense and gay. So simple  

[integral]

@StarStruck Its possible to superficially get them if you take psychedelics during the hooking phase. As a super human enhancement. 

[StarStruck]

13 hours ago, Jacob Morres said:

@Nabd but also even if youre doing things wrong 

Personally speaking, don't f with rude/mean ppl 

Tho in some situations it could be warranted ig. Like if ur pushing boundaries or smth 

Don’t judge or shame women. Especially hot women. If you judge you will never understand something. Imagine being a hot girl, everybody wanting a piece of your ass, creeps all around, everybody throwing themselves at you. How would you be like? 
 

 

21 minutes ago, integral said:

@StarStruck Its possible to superficially get them if you take psychedelics during the hooking phase. As a super human enhancement. 

so you are saying I should take LSD or something? When I take psychedelics I’m not social. 
 

[integral]

8 hours ago, StarStruck said:

so you are saying I should take LSD or something? When I take psychedelics I’m not social. 

LSD puts the brain in peak performance at everything. If the dosage is to high then It will probably interfere with socializing at the peak, other then that your unstoppable.

I've been playing chess competitive since childhood on and off and taking LSD in my 30s drastically boosted my performance. The brain just works better. 

Edited May 17, 2023 by integral

[mmKay]

 

Enjoy boyses

[ValiantSalvatore]

Approaching and over-escalating I'd say, most are to timid including me. 

[StarStruck]

My most recent break out of a plateau of social skills was this: having strong sense of reality. 

I stopped pinging off my environment and just live in my own reality. Since then I have had more women approach me or re-engaging contact. 

From my experience women ping off their environment all the time. So when they see a guy who doesn’t ping off their environment they feel kind of save to look at him. 

Pattern is this: they go out of my line of sight. Check me out. And I see them enjoying themselves looking at me but I act like I don’t see them. And out of nowhere they pop up into my face. 

This exact pattern happened to me couple of times in the last week and it made me think of the biological imprint of socializing. Women are very bio-logical. Pick up is about understanding that.

 In the core all women aren’t that different. It is almost like all women go to a school to act a certain way but of course that is not the case. It is called bio-logical. For the most part success in survival and sex is hacking your “bio-logic”. 

Edited May 19, 2023 by StarStruck

[NoSelfSelf]

@StarStruck first part you described what game is ?