I Have Superpowers

[Nahm]

@username not hopeless = hopefull. It's a double negative version. I think what you're after is not thinking about either...? But then you posted this, so now I'm confused.

[Guest username]

@Nahm You're right.

 

I still have ego driven goals though and I feel hopeless about having that work out. I'm learning to outgrow that.

[Emerald]

On 3/15/2017 at 6:50 AM, username said:

Since starting Actualized.org, I am immune to feeling hopeless in life.  I see so much of the psychological garbage that keeps people trapped; it's insane. 

 

I've spoken to some people and have been able to identify the structures and self-imposed mechanisms that keep them miserable, but it's like I'm speaking a different language at times. Some are amazed at how asleep they've been but others are so grounded in their beliefs that they think it's reality. It's just so absurd. I can't believe I used to be like that.

Be careful, as you're not quite out of the woods yet. Personal development is very labyrinthean and it's easy to be fooled. So, compared to where you were before you see how asleep you were. But you don't see how asleep you are now. And that immunity to hopelessness will wax and wane as you go further on the path. I've encountered lots of hopelessness in the form of existential crisis. But it's all part of the process. But for now, I'm glad that you've gotten to where you are now. 

[Guest username]

@Emerald Yeah, I've realized that recently. I went back to feeling hopeless very quickly. I feel better today.

I'm still very much asleep, but I knew that when I was posting. I didn't realize just how much though.

Edited March 23, 2017 by username

[Emerald]

1 minute ago, username said:

@Emerald Yeah, I've realized that recently. I went back to feeling hopeless very quickly. I feel better today.

I'm still very much asleep, but I knew that when I was posting. I didn't realize just how much though.

I'm glad you feel better. I go through the same ups and downs. It's just part of the process of dis-illusionment. 

[Guest username]

@Emerald I noticed that a lot of turmoil comes from trying to find the right balance between spiritual development and becoming more effective at solving practical problems.

In order to solve problems and look at things from the necessary perspective, I think I need to immerse myself in that perspective and for however long I'm engaged, it will seem as though that paradigm is reality itself. However, in my life, I'm simultaneously searching for existential and metaphysical truth, which requires transcending that.

I'm experiencing quite a bit of dissonance in reconciling both aspects of personal development.

[Emerald]

46 minutes ago, username said:

@Emerald I noticed that a lot of turmoil comes from trying to find the right balance between spiritual development and becoming more effective at solving practical problems.

In order to solve problems and look at things from the necessary perspective, I think I need to immerse myself in that perspective and for however long I'm engaged, it will seem as though that paradigm is reality itself. However, in my life, I'm simultaneously searching for existential and metaphysical truth, which requires transcending that.

I'm experiencing quite a bit of dissonance in reconciling both aspects of personal development.

This has been my biggest obstacle, by far. Glimpsing the truth, to my rational mind it meant that things that work practically in life are wrong. The Truth negates reality because it is what reality is derived from. So, trying to convert Truth into practical terms is like trying to load Microsoft Word into a toaster. I fought myself for so long trying to reconcile these things, and I still have problems. 

[Prabhaker]

10 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I fought myself for so long trying to reconcile these things, and I still have problems. 

Truth is not cheap. Pay the price - don't be afraid. Beyond the crucifix lies the throne.

[Emerald]

Just now, Prabhaker said:

Truth is not cheap. Pay the price - don't be afraid. Beyond the crucifix lies the throne.

What is the price?

[Prabhaker]

21 minutes ago, Emerald said:

What is the price?

It could be anything. Buddha left his kingdom, wife and one day old son. Going beyond mind needs great courage. You have to accept everything good or bad that life offers without complaining. 

Hindus philosophy advises to start spiritual journey after fifty, when your children ready to take all your responsibilities, when you can afford to move away the society.  

[Prabhaker]

@Emerald Osho has talked about a seven-year cycle of change. Every seven years the body and mind take a new turn. If we say life moves in a cycle of seven years, the age 42 is the turning point when a person changes from being materialistic to being spiritual. His need for meditation becomes stronger and if he finds the right doorway he starts growing up instead of growing old. He spends time in meditation and the spiritual search.

Youth cannot have depth, and youth cannot have calm understanding. Youth is feverish, it is a tumultuous time. You have to pass through many experiences, sweet and bitter. You have to pass through many stages of feverishness, of ecstasy, of excitement; only then a moment comes when you start understanding. Those experiences prepare you, they cleanse you. 

[Emerald]

17 minutes ago, Prabhaker said:

It could be anything. Buddha left his kingdom, wife and one day old son. Going beyond mind needs great courage. You have to accept everything good or bad that life offers without complaining. 

Hindus philosophy advises to start spiritual journey after fifty, when your children ready to take all your responsibilities, when you can afford to move away the society.  

Here is my dilemma. I've had experiences of ego-transcendence and felt the amazing amount of liberations and wholeness and the depth of my suffering in the egoic state by contrast. I also have always had the itch for deep introspection and Truth seeking, even prior to these experiences. So, there is a powerful drive to seek in me, ever since childhood. But I also want to live a normal adult life and to experience humanity uninterrupted. In fact, if I had to choose between living this life and being unenlightened and removing myself from life and being enlightened, I would choose the former in a heartbeat. I want both my normal human adulthood and enlightenment. But it's not so simple as just choosing not to seek for me. I can't un-know what I know. So, even if I try to quit seeking enlightenment, there will always be a knowledge there that I am suffering and that there is a peace that is available to me. 

Do you have any recommendations? Do you believe there is a way to quit seeking enlightenment altogether once you've had a glimpse? Or to seek enlightenment whilst being a parent who needs to be involved in life?

[Guest username]

@I_Like_Thing I'm not wise enough to tell if what you're saying is true, but it all sounds right so I'm going to upvote you anyway,

[Prabhaker]

27 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Do you have any recommendations?

Neither quit seeking enlightenment nor drop all your responsibilities. Those responsibilities have to be fulfilled - fulfilled with great joy. Your husband, your children, your parents, your old father, your old mother, they need you. That is where god has put you - into a certain responsibility. Fulfill it.

Meditation is such a powerful thing that one hour out of twenty four hours is enough. It will illuminate your whole life. And the test of whether your meditation is succeeding or not is in life. When you meditate and you go to the shop you will know whether you are succeeding in your meditation or not. Are you still as greedy in the shop as you used to be before? Do you still get angry when somebody says something against you? Can people still manage to push your buttons as easily as before? In the market-place is the test of all your meditations.

If you just do meditations and nothing else that is like preparing and preparing and never going to the examination. That is not right. The test has to be there every day - one hour meditation, twenty-three hours test. And you will grow strong.

[Emerald]

20 minutes ago, I_Like_Thing said:

@Emerald

I can help. Firstly, don't call it "enlightenment". That causes a switch in your brain to activate which makes this more difficult. Most labels are problematic, but this one in particular is.

Your "goal", to put as simply as possible, is to stop Identifying with your "ego". The ego is another label so let's try to nail down a definition that gets us into the ballpark: the part of your brain that has evolved to deal with simple, everyday tasks; the part of the brain that is susceptible to social conditioning; the part of the brain that controls many of our baser emotions or drives--such as hate, greed, judgment, "tribe mentality" etc. This stuff was useful when we were wandering apes fighting other wandering apes for prime cave property and a watering hole. Since we no longer need this to survive day to day, the ego, for want of stuff to do, has appropriated other less helpful behaviors.

Another way of saying it is the ego is the running commentary in your head of random thoughts. Everybody has this. It's just the part of the brain I mentioned above trying to be helpful in a world where it is obsolete. Unfortunately sometimes this little voice whispers things which are especially unhelpful; it'll tell us we're bad, worthless, we don't deserve this or that. The ego doesn't realize this is mean, it just thinks it is being helpful. It's like a five year old babbling random things, not knowing what they mean, hoping you will approve of something that comes out.

Now here is the crux of this whole endeavor: you are not that little voice. You are not your ego. When you identify or believe the things it says, then this ego becomes your mask.

You don't have to abandon your kids and live in a cave to remove the mask--you just need to stop Identifying and stop believing what it tells you. It doesn't know what it is saying, and by listening you are giving it permission to continue to babble. Every time a thought comes up do what you do in meditation and just ignore it--let the thought arise and then fall again. The more you ignore it, the quieter it gets, until one day you just stop hearing it at all, and it is from here where you will interact as your true self. You will still use the ego, like a tool, to handle basic functions and interact with the world, but it will no longer rule you. You will be liberated.

Thank you for the advice.  I do understand this logically and have even given similar advice before because this is akin to what I experienced. But it's good to hear anyway. I just think that I'm too afraid to take that leap of faith and to do what I know needs to be done. Fear really runs my life, all the time. I'm like a heroine addict with an instant heroine button in my mind that I automatically push every time I lose total and complete awareness. I get really frustrated sometimes. 

[Emerald]

17 minutes ago, Prabhaker said:

Neither quit seeking enlightenment nor drop all your responsibilities. Those responsibilities have to be fulfilled - fulfilled with great joy. Your husband, your children, your parents, your old father, your old mother, they need you. That is where god has put you - into a certain responsibility. Fulfill it.

Meditation is such a powerful thing that one hour out of twenty four hours is enough. It will illuminate your whole life. And the test of whether your meditation is succeeding or not is in life. When you meditate and you go to the shop you will know whether you are succeeding in your meditation or not. Are you still as greedy in the shop as you used to be before? Do you still get angry when somebody says something against you? Can people still manage to push your buttons as easily as before? In the market-place is the test of all your meditations.

If you just do meditations and nothing else that is like preparing and preparing and never going to the examination. That is not right. The test has to be there every day - one hour meditation, twenty-three hours test. And you will grow strong.

Thank you. This is good advice. I have always had a difficulty staying present in life as I'm a very heady kind of person. I've been called a space cadet many times before. And I'm always forgetting a ton of basic things that no one else forgets. I've always lived with people being angry at me for this that or the other, that most people do but I can't seem to do, simply because my mind is more interesting to me than the rest of reality. I've gotten better over the past handful of years, but it's still pretty bad. I think I became this internal because I didn't want to face some of my early childhood traumas, and the fear is still there. It boarded me up into my mind. My mind was a safe place then where I was in control and that I was good at, and praised for being good at. So, I'm definitely more attached to thought than the average person. It's like a big security blanket for me. I think it will take a lot of constant mindfulness to unwire this habit, but it seems like all signs are pointing to that over the past week or so. 

[Prabhaker]

4 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I didn't want to face some of my early childhood traumas

If you are conscious, you can watch. Go back. For example, Close your eyes; again be the child who has committed something, done something against the father, wants to be forgiven but cannot gather courage – now you can gather courage! You can say whatsoever you wanted to say, you can touch his feet again, or you can be angry and hit him – but be finished! Let the whole process be completed.

Remember one basic law: anything that is complete drops, because then there is no meaning in carrying it; anything that is incomplete clings, it waits for its completion.

Move backwards. Every night for one hour before you go to sleep, move into the past, relive. Many memories by and by will be unearthed. With many you will be surprised that you were not aware that these things are there – and with such vitality and freshness, as if they had just happened! You will be again a child. 

Move slowly, so everything is completed. Your mountain will become smaller and smaller – the load is the mountain. And the smaller it becomes, the freer you will feel. A certain quality of freedom will come to you, and a freshness, and inside you will feel you have touched a source of life. Now life is flowing because the blocks have disappeared. 

[JustinS]

@Emerald Emerald, I have just discovered Byron Katie's The Work through Leo's book list and it has been doing wonders for my attachments to the past. Have you heard of it? 

"Ask the Four Questions

The Work is meditation. It’s about opening to your heart, not about trying to change your thoughts. Ask the questions, then go inside and wait for the deeper answers to surface.

1) Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to 3.)

2) Can you absolutely know that it's true? (Yes or no.)

3) How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?

4) Who would you be without the thought?

Then Turn it around. This is the good part

http://www.cultureunplugged.com/play/8813/Prison-of-the-Mind 

This is her demonstrating The Work (self inquiry) to prison inmates.

You can also find alot of one on one sessions on youtube.

Best!

Edited March 24, 2017 by JustinS

[alyra]

I don't feel anything anymore. 

[Prabhaker]

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

I get really frustrated sometimes.

Frustration is a by product: the more you expect, the more you create your own frustration. So frustration is not really the problem, it is the result. Expectation is the problem. Frustration is just a shadow which follows expectation. 

Everything we do, we do with expectations. If you love someone, an expectation enters without your knowing. Love creates more frustration than anything else in the world because, with love, you are in a utopia of expectation.

The same law applies to everything. 

There is so much frustration in the world that it is difficult to find someone who is not frustrated. It is very difficult to find a person who is not frustrated. And It makes no difference what the object, the cause, the source of frustration may be. 

One can be frustrated because of power, because of prestige, because of wealth. One can be frustrated because of love. One can even be frustrated because of God. Even in the search for the divine we have expectations. Expectation is the poison.

The world is frustrated -- that is a fact. But you go and try to find out why you are frustrated. You will find that it is because of your expectations. That is the seed, the root cause. Throw it out!