Razard86

I Just Discovered My Delusion

8 posts in this topic

Full Awakening does not absolve you from self-deception, it just allows you to catch it more easily. I just went on a run and was contemplating Oneness and my actions and discovered I was deluding myself and awakened to another frame. Oneness is calmness, tranquility. This means any deviation from that expression is a fear based expression and denial of Oneness. So my recent aggressive behavior and belittling comments were borne out of ignorance and for that I apologize. I discovered why I was doing that, remember every situation reveals where you are.

I noticed that the thing I hate the most is when someone expresses a lack of accountability. It irks me, it irritates me and this is because my greatest fear is to not take accountability. Why? Because I have fully awakened my greatest fear is to fall back asleep. This is itself delusion because there is no difference between being fully awakened and fully asleep. Since I was afraid of a lack of accountability I aggressively attacked anyone who expressed that behavior.

Now this is not to demonize aggression, because this too is pure delusion. Let me explain. To learn the art of fighting is to learn the art of aggression. One who has mastered the art of fighting has mastered aggression. If someone attacks a master, the master will effortlessly dodge and misdirect all attacks. The master will CALMLY face the aggression and make his opponent look clumsy and will make him appear that he is fighting himself. This is because every master in martial arts knows the only opponent is within. Master your fear of aggression by engaging in aggression. So when aggression arises in the form of a physical opponent you can remain calm. You will perfectly reflect your opponents aggression back onto himself and eventually he will realize he is just hurting himself. Because when you cannot hurt another, you are just hurting yourself. It's like punching a concrete brick. You cannot hurt the brick therefore you are only hurting yourself.

So now I know the truth, anytime I express any emotion outside of calmness then I am deluded. This delusion is a result of a lack of mastery of self. Which is the same as saying ignorance. So here is how I will handle people from now on. When you reply to something I write I will ask you what response you would like me to give you. I can give you encouragement or I can give you deconstruction. The deconstruction can/will be painful so I will let you know this as well. Now I will still every now and then trick you into higher awareness just like LIFE does. But this will be in form of questions. I will guide you to higher awareness through questions. 

My question will constantly be....are you not creating a duality? You see to fully awaken you must dissolve all duality. So if I ask you if you are creating a duality and you say yes....then you are admitting to delusion. Notice how I was able to catch my delusion. Why? Because there is only security in life. Which is the same as saying there is only your power in life. Which is the same as saying THERE IS ONLY YOU.

True strength also empowers others, I just gave you the ultimate trump card against me. If I deviate from a calm expression you can say I sense you are not coming from a place of calmness but insecurity. This can awaken me from my own self-delusion. This is why full transparency and vulnerability is strength. 

Edited by Razard86

You are a selfless LACK OF APPEARANCE, that CONSTRUCTS AN APPEARANCE. But that appearance can disappear and reappear and we call that change, we call it time, we call it space, we call it distance, we call distinctness, we call it other. But notice...this appearance, is a SELF. A SELF IS A CONSTRUCTION!!! 

So if you want to know the TRUTH OF THE CONSTRUCTION. Just deconstruct the construction!!!! No point in playing these mind games!!! No point in creating needless complexity!!! The truth of what you are is a BLANK!!!! A selfless awareness....then that means there is NO OTHER, and everything you have ever perceived was JUST AN APPEARANCE, A MIRAGE, AN ILLUSION, IMAGINARY. 

Everything that appears....appears out of a lack of appearance/void/no-thing, non-sense (can't be sensed because there is nothing to sense). That is what you are, and what arises...is made of that. So nonexistence, arises/creates existence. And thus everything is solved.

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Just letting You know You've started 10 threads in the last 24 hours. :P

Edited by Sincerity

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Just now, Sincerity said:

Just letting You know You've started 10 threads today. :P

Hahaha yeah when insights come they come like a flood. I like to share my thoughts because I love to think. I only hope my thoughts can help those around me.


You are a selfless LACK OF APPEARANCE, that CONSTRUCTS AN APPEARANCE. But that appearance can disappear and reappear and we call that change, we call it time, we call it space, we call it distance, we call distinctness, we call it other. But notice...this appearance, is a SELF. A SELF IS A CONSTRUCTION!!! 

So if you want to know the TRUTH OF THE CONSTRUCTION. Just deconstruct the construction!!!! No point in playing these mind games!!! No point in creating needless complexity!!! The truth of what you are is a BLANK!!!! A selfless awareness....then that means there is NO OTHER, and everything you have ever perceived was JUST AN APPEARANCE, A MIRAGE, AN ILLUSION, IMAGINARY. 

Everything that appears....appears out of a lack of appearance/void/no-thing, non-sense (can't be sensed because there is nothing to sense). That is what you are, and what arises...is made of that. So nonexistence, arises/creates existence. And thus everything is solved.

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3 hours ago, Razard86 said:

I only hope my thoughts can help those around me.

There’s ultimately no need to help those around you, since all of it is Consciousness. 

You can be so conscious that other is You. In other words, when other is in need of help, it’s simultaneously you needing help seeing you through other.

The trick is not to get wrapped up in story about this. There’s no way the human mind can process this deeply. Becoming directly conscious is key… it’s honestly unexplainable and a miracle.

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When normal forum dwellers receive the truth from @Razard86

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:D

Edited by integral

How is this post just me acting out my ego in the usual ways? Is this post just me venting and justifying my selfishness? Are the things you are posting in alignment with principles of higher consciousness and higher stages of ego development? Are you acting in a mature or immature way? Are you being selfish or selfless in your communication? Are you acting like a monkey or like a God-like being?

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Are you creating a duality between your preferred state and the states that you observe in yourself?

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try to let go of the need to be awake and focus on being more awake

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9 hours ago, Sincerity said:

Just letting You know You've started 10 threads in the last 24 hours. :P

When you check the Spirituality section for the thread you posted last week but Razard86's been active lately:

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Edited by lostingenosmaze

“We have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak." -Epictetus

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