Feeling Confused and Insecure About Start a New Relationship

[Juan]

So I started to talk to this chick, she is 3 years younger than me (I’m 27), and she is open to a third person on her actual relationship (she is polyamorous). 

I’ve been talking to her since a month ago and we vibe a lot, we are both artists but, I have some insecurities about how my body looks, I’m a bit overweight and idk if this is my version I want her to meet. So I told her this and she said it was ok (we haven’t met yet in person), I really have this concern on top of my head daily. 

I started to work on a part-time job while do art on the side and I just really want to focus on make money, buy once it for all my first car and find a better apartment so I can continue my tattoo career. I feel like get into a relationship now would be a BIG distraction. Once I earn enough budget I’m gonna hit the gym.

I don’t like to keep people waiting, I might keep talking to her, is just that I’m not ready yet to get emotionally involved. I would love a lot to meet someone closer to my age, 3 years younger is fine but, idk, I feel I want to meet also someone more close to my age, looking for more maturity I guess.

Anyone can relate to this? 

Edited May 4, 2023 by Juan

[Roy]

Don't get involved with poly girls man. It's disrespectful to yourself taking sloppy seconds and not claiming a single woman for yourself. You are probably going to catch a disease too. A poly girl basically got permission from her weak/naïve boyfriend to "cheat" and get slammed by hordes of dudes looking for something easy, and someone who is that reckless emotionally probably isn't using protection. On top of that if you make her boyfriend insecure or resentful in any way (and it won't take much), things will get ugly and complicated real quick.

Just focus on your own goals like you said, and use your spare time to work on finding your own girlfriend.

[Raze]

Insecurity about how you look is far more unattractive to women than how you actually look. You made a big mistake bringing that up to her to be honest.

[Juan]

@Roy Thanks for your feedback! I’ll contemplate about it. The relationship with her bf seems very organized from what I see, is not that she is sleeping with a ton of guys, they are being selective of who they choose, we spoke already about using protection and other stuff. Sure I’m skeptical about the polyamorous subject but I’m trying to be open minded here since everything is being talked with her bf. I agree a lot about my goals, that should be my focus then…
 

22 minutes ago, Raze said:

Insecurity about how you look is far more unattractive to women than how you actually look. You made a big mistake bringing that up to her to be honest.

I’m aware, but we keep talking the same vibe as how we started so nothing really changed. Everything was escalating quite quick and I had to be honest first with myself, ofc is not something I bring to every women or guy since I’m bisexual. 

Edited May 4, 2023 by Juan

[meta_male]

19 hours ago, Juan said:

I’m aware, but we keep talking the same vibe as how we started so nothing really changed.

Don't be fooled, this will change as soon as she see's your insecurity in person. If you're unsure about her meeting the current version of you and you're saying you're not ready to get involved emotionally and you want to meet someone more mature then that's your intuition guiding you towards more self love.

Edited May 4, 2023 by meta_male

[Juan]

@meta_male Thanks for the feedback, definitely these month if not the whole year will be then to focus on my goals, later I’ll see where I stand relationship wise. 

[integral]

Poly girls are always looking for new potential options to date, always looking at that hot guy or girl everywhere they go, always connecting emotionally a little to quickly with anyone that's nice to them, it grinds you over time into insecurity. 

Edited May 6, 2023 by integral