What would you do?

[caspex]

What seems like the problem to me is a lack of vitality and energy in your life. Every person has natural levels of vitality, you don't need anything special to generate it, if you have a lack of it, that usually means it is being held up by traumas and other emotional baggage. One of the biggest reason is usually internal fragmentation. Do you feel that when you are doing something you are not truly doing it on all levels of who you are? Maybe when talking to someone you feel as if you are putting a front, but don't know if the front is who you are or the one within. This kind of fragmentation is very common which takes away A LOT of vitality. I have the same problem and am still working on uniting myself + healing emotional trauma. When I am fragmented, I am averse to displaying emotions, smiling etc. But when I am united within, all these emotions come easily and feel natural. If emotional healing is what you need then go for it, but almost all the time fragmentation comes together with it. And I have a few solution to that.

Display massive emotion. This will come from the core of your heart, from your emotional traumas or deep desires for life to change or be a certain way. What worked for me was to be alone in a room and pray to a deity or god, and fully believing it existed, displaying massive emotion to it, not worrying about accuracy of words. Cry, be Angry, fuck things up, fully give in to the emotions. This made me one within from the heart. How? When you see a version of you displaying massive emotion, you understand THAT is who you are truly, every other personality/self/front you feel in your day to day life, is NOT you. This is key. Pick the realest part of you and understand this is who you are, and live from that, talk from that from then on. You can do multiple sessions if you want, you wouldn't be able to display emotion at first. This process is like thawing away at a big hunk of ice with a spoon, bit by bit, to unlock the heart within.

Once expressing emotions becomes a natural part of who you are, the desire to do will naturally be there, much less the desire to live. While doing the healing and such stuff, you should also look for things you love. This doesn't have to be a hobby but maybe a situation. Maybe you love sitting by the window in the evening sipping tea. I love sitting at my pc and watch anime at 9pm with some light dinner or tea. Do those things that make life worth it for you. Once you are more united from within and have more emotional baggage dropped, you'd also do good socializing and talking to people you love. If you have no one like that then you can make friends and find people you love. It's all VERY easy when you're one within.

Edited May 11, 2023 by Swarnim

[Sultan Al Hind]

@Roy yes can u permenently ban my account

[caesar13]

@Sabth

On 5/2/2023 at 2:38 PM, Sabth said:

How old are you? And do you have a healthy physique? 

This is my first impression. If you have a healthy physique then you shouldn't feel like dying. Like if you aren't old, (I'm old.) 

I'm 26. Healthy? not sure about that, but I am a skinny guy and just a little over 55 Kg, mostly bone weight haha.

[caesar13]

On 5/10/2023 at 7:30 AM, Roy said:

Chances are you've led a monotonous life and that's why you feel the way you do. 

Not really, I am a very curious guy since childhood but I feel like you're right - if I think about the past 4-5 years of my life.

[caesar13]

@Razard86 Thank you. I am really amazed how you could share your knowledge so articulately (I have read your other answers too previously)

[caesar13]

On 5/11/2023 at 7:22 AM, Swarnim said:

What seems like the problem to me is a lack of vitality and energy in your life. Every person has natural levels of vitality, you don't need anything special to generate it, if you have a lack of it, that usually means it is being held up by traumas and other emotional baggage. One of the biggest reason is usually internal fragmentation. Do you feel that when you are doing something you are not truly doing it on all levels of who you are? Maybe when talking to someone you feel as if you are putting a front, but don't know if the front is who you are or the one within. This kind of fragmentation is very common which takes away A LOT of vitality. I have the same problem and am still working on uniting myself + healing emotional trauma. When I am fragmented, I am averse to displaying emotions, smiling etc. But when I am united within, all these emotions come easily and feel natural. If emotional healing is what you need then go for it, but almost all the time fragmentation comes together with it. And I have a few solution to that.

@Swarnim You really cherry-picked the problem I'm facing

Edited May 21, 2023 by caesar13
Just quoting the username

[caspex]

30 minutes ago, caesar13 said:

@Swarnim You really cherry-picked the problem I'm facing

If I was correct then remember this, you DO want to live, you DO desire to do MANY things. You DESIRE to EXIST. You WANT TO fucking EXIST to the FULLEST extent that you can. This is at the core of every human being. You don't feel this because that vitality is being sapped away, it's all being used in maintaining all the fragments, all the facades within oneself, it being sapped away by all the patterns and habits. And it's possible to become one again, it's definitely possible to become integrated into one giant mind that you are. Just take baby steps towards it, it will happen.

Edited May 21, 2023 by Swarnim

[caesar13]

@Swarnim Yes.

[Raze]

Get ifs therapy 

[Bob Seeker]

I would use the dream board for Law of Attraction. The way it is taught on ActualityofBeing.com