What would you do?

[caesar13]

I am a person who in the past have commited suicide multiple times. Now I am not depressed or something but I simply do not have the desire to do anything. If you could take away the pain involved in dying, I would even accept being killed. I know that this is not a good place to ask, but let’s say you are in my situation. What would you do?

I am now a normal person, but I just lack the desire. Maybe the only desire I have right now is to have a desire.

[X_X]

I'm kind of in the same situation.  
Here's how's it's going for me. 

1.My life is awful. I rather die. 
2. I can't / don't want to do anything.
3. Suffer endlessly... repeat x 10000
3. Honest assessment of my situation and understanding that the underlying issue is the lack of energy. 
4. Accept the only option forward is to focus and do everything in my power to restore my willpower, self-discipline and a healthy energy capacity. 
5. Trust my my assessment and commit to putting in the necessary work to restore my energy despite my resistance and laziness, aiming for a consistent discipline and positive momentum. 

Edit:

What you should take away is that lack of desire is a symptom of lack of energy.
Focus on that.
A desire and joy for living is a natural consequence of having an abundance of energy. Look at all children for example. remember how it was when you were a child. Almost anything could excite you. Your energy is tightly connected to your physical and mental health, so you might wanna start there. Though remember self discipline is also required to make use of your energy. It's no use to have a lot of energy if you can't really use it or enjoy it in the ways you want. Start meditating. Eat healthier. Exercise. Be creative. Socialize. Live a simpler life. Go out for walks. Set minor goals and stick to them. Remember what used to excite you in your past. Get good sleep. Try imagination exercises. Consider dating if you feel like you'd like that. And above all remember to not take life too seriously. All of this will be over regardless pretty soon anyways so don't stress it and take it lightly and with humor 

Edited May 1, 2023 by X_X

[Arthogaan]

 

[M A J I]

Ever try psilocybin mushrooms my friend? They are quite fun guys

[Sabth]

How old are you? And do you have a healthy physique? 

This is my first impression. If you have a healthy physique then you shouldn't feel like dying. Like if you aren't old, (I'm old.) 

Edited May 2, 2023 by Sabth

[Charlotte]

@caesar13 elaborate on "I do not have the desire to do anything." What is anything? What is desire for you? 

 

Sending you strength and love friend. ?

[caesar13]

@Charlotte

The kind of feeling that I had in my childhood to do something just because I liked doing it. Often I remember that I wanted to do something but since it's already time for bed I used to force myself not to get off the bed but to sleep and do it after I woke up in the morning - just some remote control car things. I used to be interested in electronics those days.

To put it simply: I lack that curiosity now.

Two days ago I pulled off my affirmation that I wrote by myself a long time ago after reading Murphy's books, plus I'm trying visualization - visualizing that I have what I feel that I lack now. I feel that helps.

[Adodd]

On 5/2/2023 at 1:27 AM, M A J I said:

Ever try psilocybin mushrooms my friend? They are quite fun guys

 

[Adodd]

 

[BlessedLion]

Hang in there, you never know how life may unfold

[Ninja_pig]

Mushrooms could help you a lot. They helped me.

 

I would talk to friends, family, therapist, coworkers, anyone you can. Find a way to help others. This is what gives me meaning in my own life.

[Aaron p]

i suffered endlessly with indescribable torture for a long time. i beat it. i feel great, maybe try SSRI's. a strategic approach to classical mental health meds can be very useful, mankind has some tools that can be useful. good for a "rut" situation if your really stuck

[Roy]

On 5/1/2023 at 9:59 AM, caesar13 said:

I am now a normal person, but I just lack the desire. Maybe the only desire I have right now is to have a desire.

What kind of experiences and exposure have you had to the world? If you search wide and long enough you are bound to encounter something that sparks you inside.

Chances are you've led a monotonous life and that's why you feel the way you do. 

[Razard86]

1 hour ago, Roy said:

What kind of experiences and exposure have you had to the world? If you search wide and long enough you are bound to encounter something that sparks you inside.

Chances are you've led a monotonous life and that's why you feel the way you do. 

What is up with that signature? Is it some witty deeper message? Or is it telling someone to be the next great terrorist? LOL.

[Roy]

@Razard86 It's a line from one of my favorite video games. Reminds me not to take life so seriously.

[Razard86]

13 hours ago, Roy said:

@Razard86 It's a line from one of my favorite video games. Reminds me not to take life so seriously.

Got you, what's the video game?

 

On 5/1/2023 at 0:59 PM, caesar13 said:

I am a person who in the past have commited suicide multiple times. Now I am not depressed or something but I simply do not have the desire to do anything. If you could take away the pain involved in dying, I would even accept being killed. I know that this is not a good place to ask, but let’s say you are in my situation. What would you do?

I am now a normal person, but I just lack the desire. Maybe the only desire I have right now is to have a desire.

Watch Leo's video on self-deception. There are layers and layers of self-deception you are being fooled by. There was self-deception literally in your post but I don't have the patience to keep pointing this out. I'll just say this, make a commitment to be BRUTALLY honest with yourself AT ALL TIMES. While being brutally honest seek to not judge yourself for what comes up. Accept it for what it is. 

I'll post some good advice that came to me and I channeled in a previous thread.  This is a copy and paste of a prior post:

Wasting time is literally impossible. Every single moment your brain is literally taking in information. I spent majority of my life never doing drugs, I took weed for the first time last year and couldn't realize how amazing weed is. Weed helped me contemplate the nature of reality and my entire life. It helped me do deep dives into my subconscious and discover limiting beliefs, it also ultimately helped me awaken. So don't demonize weed.

Video games: I was born premature and had poor fine motor control, through video games I was able to develop my dexterity. I never took a typing class in my entire life, through playing computer games I learned how to type just through having to type repeatedly to the players I played with and against. Through video games I actually was able to learn the meaning of life. Many of my greatest insights came from video games. Why? Because I was constantly analyzing the people I played with and against, and asked questions. So the truth is playing video games is NOT a waste of time.

Everything you do in life has a PRO and a CON. Right now there are people who are PAID to play video games. They have Youtube channels and stream. So when you investigate ANY activity what you can discover it's not the activity that's a waste of time, it's how you look at it. Money does not determine your value, you aren't going to be on your death bed saying I wish I worked more. What you will say is I wish I did more things with my friends and family, and I wish I spent more time investing in myself.

So guess what? Spend more time investing in yourself. Work out, EVERYDAY!!! Working out is NOT just for physical fitness. Working out develops self-discipline, it develops your adversity muscle, and it builds self-love. The mental benefits you get from working out every day far outweigh the physical benefits you gain. If you are ever depressed in life it is because you are not working out PERIOD! Working out consistently CHANGES your relationship with pain and adversity and teaches you how to frame pain and adversity in a positive manner. The ability to see the good in pain and adversity will pay off huge dividends in the future.

Next STUDY, anything!!! Read, read, and read some more!! Knowing a lot of stuff builds your confidence. It helps you be able to express your thoughts more and changes the way you perceive reality. It makes you a more interesting person. This will also increase your self-love for yourself. Appearance: Buy clothes that are form fitting. These clothes will show off your physique and will look more natural on you. If you haven't done this do it, it will change the way you are perceived by others. 

Within your financial means eat healthier, this will boost your energy and help you have more stamina. Make sure you also get enough sleep every day do not neglect sleep. Learn to stretch, stretching prevent injuries and it help you feel refreshed each morning since majority stress is held in the body and loosening up your body can help relieve not just physical tension but psychological tension as well. Learn how to meditate, this can help you clear your mind and stabilize your mental activity it can even ultimately help you spiritually if you are into that.

Re-establish your relationship with music. You said you have trouble studying? Music can help you with that! Learn to find musical playlists that can stimulate you when you have to read something. Think of music like the pepper, the salt, or the sugar put into a meal. Music can make working out or studying more enjoyable so go online and create your own studying playlist!!! Also learn to listen to people who motivate you!! Find some testimonials of people who have lived a hard life and have flipped it around. Take their mindset their energy as your own.

The secret to life is self-deception but it works BOTH ways. You can deceive yourself into success or failure because ultimately everything could be said to be a lie. The kid who believed he could be drafted into the NBA even though the odds say you have a higher chance of winning the LOTTERY than being drafted is delusional!! But guess what? Because he believed in that delusion and worked hard everyday for it, it became his reality. You don't need evidence to achieve something because evidence is PAST information. All you need is desire, consistency, and the ability to analyze and learn from mistakes and courage to make the necessary changes when they arrive.

And lastly...do nice things for your friends and family and ALLOW THEM to do nice things for you as well. This will allow you to create wonderful memories and then you can live the GOOD LIFE!!!

GOOD LUCK!!

[Roy]

7 hours ago, Razard86 said:

Got you, what's the video game?

Red Faction: Guerilla. You get a hammer, dynamite, some guns. Blow up and topple buildings. VERY legal. VERY fun.

[Sultan Al Hind]

@Roy is there a way to change my name

[Roy]

5 minutes ago, Sultan Al Hind said:

@Roy is there a way to change my name

No you'd have to create a brand new account, but since multiple accounts aren't allowed per user I would have to permanently ban your current one.

[Dauntment]

I hope you read this....

*If I was you"

"Wow, I am so lost in my mind and am unconsciously creating so much suffering/pain/discomfort/etc. for myself that I actually tried to kill myself?!! Wow! Where did I go wrong? How did I get to this point *Proceeds to do personal work, inner healing, therapy, etc.* Well, I evidently exist and this Reality thing seems to be capable of alot. What do I want to do?? What would be really cool to experience or create? I've made it through everything I've been through so far so I must be pretty damn strong too, I could probably do whatever I wanted to do! lol. *Looks in the mirror* I love you dude, you're pretty awesome!...now lets go out and figure this sh*t out!