April's 30th.

[Sabth]

DECEMBER 27, 2021

December 27 2021, I want to install a lock into my bedroom. But one year later , all of my belongings are missing. This is a true valid fear. But I didn't install it. And they took or get rid of all my precious things while I was in a hospital. My family is my enemy. They put me into a mental hospital. And when I was away, get rid of all my things. I have always thought as a child, that I wanna put my diaries collection in my own home. In a safe area. So that it can be ready again by my decendants. Or something. I wanna keep it as my memories. But when Im twenty six, it was gone. 24 December 2022. My phone are gone too. I wonder if there's any worth living life even. All of my precious things are gone. 

I used to keep it locked in a luggage as a young kid. So even as a kid, I had this threat. From my family. It was never safe. Once I dreamed that my older sister are cutting this luggage open with a knife and destroyed my drawings. When I woke up it feels so real . I wonder if that's real. If they really wanna destroy my things. And now when I'm gone from home for the first time ever , without being prepared ,( before this even when I went to a university I kept it locked inside a larger luggage). Now those luggage are gone. My phone are gone. The phone that I had my contacts with. All of my "contacts". Now it's gone. 

11 October 2023. 

[Sabth]

 

I'm just gonna post this cuz I used to draw them a lot. As a teen.

[Sabth]

My 2013 DeviantArt https://www.deviantart.com/yanalove1

[Sabth]

My life now is             ...

 

[Sabth]

Idk This Ogival swimsuit feels so ugly~

[Sabth]

I dream that I was about to dye my hair. I have always wanted to dye my hair. Maybe I'll get to it later. I will do an update.

[Sabth]

7:34AM

[Sabth]

Today, they are going to the place that I wanna hike, but they go to the beach. Not hiking. 

8:00AM

[Sabth]

I wanna go to Mount Santubong. But I want to have a drone first. So that I could see. The whole mountain. My trek would be worth it. Now I'm not prepared. I can go there alone. As fast as possible. Not thinking about anything. It's already day light. 

[Sabth]

 

[Sabth]

Is it hard to get RM4125 ? Aka $872.37

Would it be a lot of loss if I was scammed this much? Is it a great loss? It can be like a one month salary. Or more. 

 

 

....

 

Eating Bingsu ice cream last night.

 

The sun can always be seen from here. Every evening. 

I'm bored again . Yet again.. 

[Sabth]

I want to get out of this as soon as possible. 

[Sabth]

https://www.instagram.com/p/CyRLduQOcZj/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Life is beautiful. Why can't we just focus on building beautiful things? 

[Sabth]

I feel like I'm talking with someone, and he's really good.  

9:50PM 14Oct 2023

[Sabth]

The air outside my home is warmer than the inside. It's 6AM in the morning, but the air is not good. So, I don't feel like going out. And it feels too public. Somehow, I like my room better. The air is just nice. The lighting. The warmth. It's just way better than the outside. I like my room.  

It used to be good outside. I remember loving the morning air. But these days, I find it hot outside. And it's too public. I wanna take a walk. 

[Sabth]

Now the air inside my room is too dry until my nose bleed.

And last night, I had pressure in my ear that it hurts too much. I tried putting in water in my ear but its not working. And I just fall asleep and when I woke up, it's gone. 

[Sabth]

I want to prove to everyone that it is not a scam . 

I need only 23k but this is 42k. If I have $713 I could have this money. 

[Sabth]

 

 

[Sabth]

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Edited October 17, 2023 by Sabth

[Sabth]

Ever so weird. My dream..