April's 30th.

[Sabth]

It's been 17years since I came here and I hadn't had never work once in my life. So idk... 

[Sabth]

27vs17

I feel terrible at 27. Seventeen,   I hv no health problem. My eyes are good. I'm young. My life are set (in stone)for success. 

[Sabth]

 

This song made me cry. 

[Sabth]

Four seasons

This song came out when I was still in university .

[Sabth]

I may suffer a confinement like Said Nursi for the rest ofmy life. They're threatening me to do so if I refuse from taking the medicine. I don't care. I'd rather be alone somewhere than to be with my family. 

[Sabth]

Yeay I don't get to take the med today^^

.

I'm watching this killing voice. They are like angels.....

I don't know all of their songs, but the ones that I know, it's really nostalgic. And this is the first time that I know who sings what. Such an amazing thing to know. 

The Eve is a song that I listen to on repeat once. 

8:16 

I actually had a lot of synchronicity with this song. 

Edited July 11, 2023 by Sabth

[Sabth]

 

 

[Sabth]

I need to be back. I want to be back. 

[Sabth]

I dreamt of taking examination. All over again. And was studying last minute. I can still remember it. 

.

I think, even if I can do simple work, I will be happy. 

[Sabth]

My plans :

     I wanna go to Egypt. 

     Buy a camera.

     Trade my 4k PC for a laptop. 

     Buy editing software. 

Then I'll be fine..

[Sabth]

If my parents die then I'd be really left with nothing. No one to drive me anywhere . I couldn't be doing anything. I was left with no skill. I couldn't drive. Or hv a work of my own

Back then when I was younger my mom was scared of my independence. She's scared if I could drive. Or have work. It's one of her biggest fears. And shed rather had me not knowing a lot of things. She' likes me being independent on her. She feared me of driving way too fast when I'm not even such a person. So I never drive. When my older sister drive everywhere.. I'm the third daughter.

When everyone else when they comes through the age they would have been independent. Could drive. And I couldn't. Why couldn't I be like everyone else? She would teache her other children driving but me. She would asked my dad. To teache me. And she would never..

And I'm not used to it. Even now. I don't like to be reached by my dad. Even now, as an older person. Now my brother who are seven years younger than me had already start to know how to drive. Around. And I still was learning. The old me. The old 27ywar old mw. I think I just need my own small car to practice. And then I will muster driving. 

 

[Sabth]

I regret not being successful in my education so I could at least help myself. And have a career and be safe. 

(But one of the reason I couldn't complete my education was because I couldn't drive. It's hard. Not having a car 

 And not being able to drive while being at a university far away from home..)

[Sabth]

Because I'm bored I watch this a few days ago :

 

 

[Sabth]

Twenty three years ago, my mom was 35 and she brings us all to Egypt. And we had a trip to all of Egypt. I wanna go back to Egypt. 

[Sabth]

Adventurous and dangerous.

I saw a hiking video. And it seems very dangerous. 

[Sabth]

Today I saw that all trees had bear fruits.  

If I were to go to Egypt ,I must cried a lot.

And again , the threatening continue. As I escape from taking the med today. 

Edited July 17, 2023 by Sabth

[Sabth]

Maybe if I have a car I can look for work. The weather are nice today. 

[Sabth]

Will something/a miracle happened if I were to read x 100 times? 

Because I'm bored, I will try to do this

.let's see what happen. 

[Sabth]

It took me 1 hour 10 mins to finish 10. So it would took me over 10hours to finish 100. 

[Sabth]

I no longer like to be here..