I had this astounding experience is this awakening?

[infiniteconsciousnes]

So I have been meditating for the last 8-9 years on and off.

I went to Vipassana last year in the month of July this was the second Vipassana retreat my first retreat was in 2014.

On my recent retreat, I started meditating everything was going well until 4th day I meditated for the whole day and then came out for a break in the evening I was sitting under this tree and I started feeling heavily emotional then I started crying I did not know why I was crying I never cried like this in my whole life.

I completed my 10-day retreat when I left the meditation center I became extremely sensitive to emotions that I cried every day I was feeling extreme gratitude.

With that, I felt so much bliss that I can not explain! Somedays the bliss was so high that I felt like I am high on something! The bliss was 24X7

After the retreat, I was not able to work because I used to feel the bliss all time! I love traveling but even I did not want to travel because I was feeling an insane level of bliss sitting in my room.

In that time I became so sensitive to everything that even I started to have fears of heights.

I was so scared that I did not meditate after coming from retreat because I was scared of what was happening to me.

I did not work for 2-3 months then that effect lasted around 4.5 Months after that everything got back to normal in the month of December 2022.

Then in the month of January 2023, I went on vacation for a week, and boom the same thing happened started feeling immense bliss, gratitude, and emotions this time I did not even meditate.

The feeling subsided after 15-20 days!

I can not comprehend what was all this experience was it is awakening or something else?

[M A J I]

You will naturally feel more blissful as you surrender more to the current of life rather than the current that everything 'thinks' it should be going.

When we all surrender, bliss arises. When mind is not over-active, bliss arises. When we surrender control, bliss arises.

You cried because you had a big release, and maybe it has been a lifetime since you actually sat wholefully with yourself.

See it this way, the more you surrender your hold on life, the more awake, free and blissfull you will feel.

So yeas you are glimpsing what a greater awakening starts to "feel like".

And with practice you can become established within such states and be able to carry them through day to day life.

The bliss will normalize as you ground yourself.

[Salvijus]

1 hour ago, Squeekytoy said:

When this contrast is big enough it feels like bliss. That's your true nature shining through the somatic cracks, and it feels especially powerful when you've never felt it before and all you know is the heaviness of ego. When it's abiding and established, it's more like a background of happiness, gratitude, and a pleasant splash of nostalgia.

Interesting. I never thought of it like that

[Hojo]

God can feel you feel blissful it will listen and send more.

[Yimpa]

8 hours ago, infiniteconsciousnes said:

I can not comprehend what was all this experience was it is awakening or something else?

Awakening, yes (which there’s not just one kind, but multitudes). It could also be something else if you ask a scientist, psychologist, priest, etc.

Trust your own direct experience. Don’t think you’ve reached the end and need to maintain that state. You’re just discovering the infinite path which is, of course, YOU!

Keep exploring, you blissful soul, you 

[infiniteconsciousnes]

9 hours ago, M A J I said:

You will naturally feel more blissful as you surrender more to the current of life rather than the current that everything 'thinks' it should be going.

When we all surrender, bliss arises. When mind is not over-active, bliss arises. When we surrender control, bliss arises.

You cried because you had a big release, and maybe it has been a lifetime since you actually sat wholefully with yourself.

See it this way, the more you surrender your hold on life, the more awake, free and blissfull you will feel.

So yeas you are glimpsing what a greater awakening starts to "feel like".

And with practice you can become established within such states and be able to carry them through day to day life.

The bliss will normalize as you ground yourself.

Thankyou this makes sense !

[infiniteconsciousnes]

5 hours ago, Squeekytoy said:

It's not awakening in itself, but it's what happens when parts of ego drop away temporarily or permanently. Ego is emotionally dense and heavy, so when a part of it drops, you feel very light and relieved. When this contrast is big enough it feels like bliss. That's your true nature shining through the somatic cracks, and it feels especially powerful when you've never felt it before and all you know is the heaviness of ego. When it's abiding and established, it's more like a background of happiness, gratitude, and a pleasant splash of nostalgia.

Now I am more sure that it was some ego death as I was so scared that I did not even want to meditate actually it was my ego that was scared of its existence .

Edited April 27, 2023 by infiniteconsciousnes

[infiniteconsciousnes]

4 hours ago, Hojo said:

God can feel you feel blissful it will listen and send more.

Yes, this was the first taste of what god feels like for me! I am thankful for this! 

[infiniteconsciousnes]

2 hours ago, Yimpa said:

Awakening, yes (which there’s not just one kind, but multitudes). It could also be something else if you ask a scientist, psychologist, priest, etc.

Trust your own direct experience. Don’t think you’ve reached the end and need to maintain that state. You’re just discovering the infinite path which is, of course, YOU!

Keep exploring, you blissful soul, you 

This is a good point on trusting your own experience because I think this area of spirituality is so deep that everyone has different kinds of experience and difficult to judge what is actually happening. BTW thanks for the answer I really appreciate it!

[infiniteconsciousnes]

3 minutes ago, Squeekytoy said:

 Feeling blissful is not god or truth. 

Yes, I understand this.

But do you get to god or truth by completely destroying your ego?

[Yimpa]

7 minutes ago, infiniteconsciousnes said:

Now I am more sure that it was some ego death as I was so scared that I did not even want to meditate actually it was my ego that was scared of its existence .

Fear has an important role on this journey. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows as they say. 

When you can love even fear, you know you’ve really lost your shit… 

@Squeekytoy Beautiful Shit 

[Yimpa]

3 minutes ago, infiniteconsciousnes said:

But do you get to god or truth by completely destroying your ego?

NO! Don’t fall for this trap. Just, no!

[infiniteconsciousnes]

2 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

It’s not all sunshine and rainbows as they say. 

 

I learned this after that experience initially I thought its all rainbows and sunshine but that experience literally made me lose myself and that day I knew this journey is not all rainbows and sunshine I am just starting I don't know what would happen to people who had even more deeper experiences:D

[infiniteconsciousnes]

7 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

NO! Don’t fall for this trap. Just, no!

Then what approach do you recommend? 

[Yimpa]

9 minutes ago, infiniteconsciousnes said:

Then what approach do you recommend? 

Well…

Look at your hand. Now these words. Now back at your hand.

Which one is God??

[infiniteconsciousnes]

1 minute ago, Yimpa said:

Well…

Look at your hand. Now these words. Now back at your hand.

Which one is God??

Both!

[Hojo]

@infiniteconsciousnes

[The0Self]

12 hours ago, infiniteconsciousnes said:

So I have been meditating for the last 8-9 years on and off.

I went to Vipassana last year in the month of July this was the second Vipassana retreat my first retreat was in 2014.

On my recent retreat, I started meditating everything was going well until 4th day I meditated for the whole day and then came out for a break in the evening I was sitting under this tree and I started feeling heavily emotional then I started crying I did not know why I was crying I never cried like this in my whole life.

I completed my 10-day retreat when I left the meditation center I became extremely sensitive to emotions that I cried every day I was feeling extreme gratitude.

With that, I felt so much bliss that I can not explain! Somedays the bliss was so high that I felt like I am high on something! The bliss was 24X7

After the retreat, I was not able to work because I used to feel the bliss all time! I love traveling but even I did not want to travel because I was feeling an insane level of bliss sitting in my room.

In that time I became so sensitive to everything that even I started to have fears of heights.

I was so scared that I did not meditate after coming from retreat because I was scared of what was happening to me.

I did not work for 2-3 months then that effect lasted around 4.5 Months after that everything got back to normal in the month of December 2022.

Then in the month of January 2023, I went on vacation for a week, and boom the same thing happened started feeling immense bliss, gratitude, and emotions this time I did not even meditate.

The feeling subsided after 15-20 days!

I can not comprehend what was all this experience was it is awakening or something else?

That’s a phenomenon called the arising and passing away of phenomena. “The A&P” — look it up, as there is tons of info on it, and frankly anyone who has done a decent amount of meditation and study of meditation should be able to tell you that.

Congrats though! It’s a big step indeed. Look into the dark night of the soul as well, as the stuff often referred to as that usually follows the a&p.

Edited April 27, 2023 by The0Self

[Yimpa]

1 hour ago, infiniteconsciousnes said:

Both!

Now imagine taking that example even further and at ever deeper levels.

No need to rush, though. Awakening is not a pie eating contest.

And the winner is always You.

[infiniteconsciousnes]

9 hours ago, The0Self said:

That’s a phenomenon called the arising and passing away of phenomena. “The A&P” — look it up, as there is tons of info on it, and frankly anyone who has done a decent amount of meditation and study of meditation should be able to tell you that.

Congrats though! It’s a big step indeed. Look into the dark night of the soul as well, as the stuff often referred to as that usually follows the a&p.

I searched about The A&P and this is exactly what was happening to me thank you so much I really appreciate your help