Are the stories we tell ourselves important?

[playdoh]

How come stories are never mentioned here? Obviously the stories we tell ourselves shape our life. Let’s say we feel guilty for pigging out on junk food or over masturbating. Instead of feeling guilty & judging ourselves for it would it be ok to tell a different story, like I gave my body what it needed in this moment? Thanks. 

[Leo Gura]

Of course. The stories you tell yourself and even the tone in which you tell them make all the difference. The only thing stopping you from becoming Hitler or a Jihadist is the stories you tell yourself.

[Razard86]

10 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Of course. The stories you tell yourself and even the tone in which you tell them make all the difference. The only thing stopping you from becoming Hitler or a Jihadist is the stories you tell yourself.

Thankfully the mechanism involved is so meticulous that him becoming Hitler or a Jihadist is highly unlikely. But yes the stories and tone are important. The story connects the events that transpire, and craft how you relate to those events, and the tone turns you into a victim, a fighter, or a pacifist. 

Victim=whines and complains and demonizes everything

Fighter= Sees danger and fights to control their environment and punish their enemies

Pacifist= Seeks to accept everything as it is, and not shake up the status quo. (Sometimes becomes a people pleaser).

[Osaid]

Stories are just stories. They have nothing to do with your emotions unless you want them to.

There's a difference between consciously story-telling and unconsciously story-telling. No one consciously tells negative stories. Negative stories are always unconscious. People are constantly unconsciously conjuring up stories which make them feel bad. It's the same as self-harm, like stabbing yourself with a knife for no reason. You are using your intelligence against yourself in that scenario. It doesn't have to be that way if you come up with stories consciously. When it is done consciously, there is no harm, because you will not consciously harm yourself. Just like you would not touch a hot stove because you are conscious that it will harm you.

[playdoh]

11 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Of course. The stories you tell yourself and even the tone in which you tell them make all the difference. The only thing stopping you from becoming Hitler or a Jihadist is the stories you tell yourself.

Thanks Leo. But if we’re feeling guilty and tell ourselves a story to make us not feel guilty is that just like putting a bandaid on something? Isn’t real self-love allowing oneself to feel that feeling of judgment & maybe even do some shadow work on it & get to the root of it? ?

[Yimpa]

17 hours ago, playdoh said:

How come stories are never mentioned here? 

I see many stories on here. 

It’s beautiful.

[JuliusCaesar]

@playdoh If you tell yourself something is true about your life that currently isn't so in your perception long enough. It will become so, because self-deception is the mechanism by which reality is created. However, it's difficult to do this as a typical human, because you've spent essentially your entire life imagining that such a thing isn't possible. Outsourcing the creation of reality to others, and even some abstract mental projections.

Edited April 27, 2023 by JuliusCaesar

[Breakingthewall]

You can't choose the stories you tell yourself at will. self-help books say yes and lie. stories are the manifestation of the core of your personality. If, for example, you are tortured for several years, your mental stories will be different than if you are, for example, a successful artist admired by all. Awakening is going beyond the stories, but then you go back to them and tell yourself stories about awakening. in the pure present there are no stories, only truth. then you realize that the stories are also present pure and truth. it is difficult to modify them, you have to go very deep.

 

[Yimpa]

At ever deeper levels, awakening reveals that stories are beautiful creations Reality dreams up.

You are no longer bound by a rigid story. Your story expands to encompass a wider version of Yourself.