How To Get Rid Of Self - Sabotage ?

[Loreena]

Any suggestions, books, practical techniques  and methods you have tried would be a great help

[Key Elements]

This may help:

I discovered that there are only one or two things to go for during my day. The rest falls into place easily. For example, if you're living with good family members, you could do your thing; they'll just give you space, and you could work on your life purpose or something important. Life purpose is a process you enjoy till it falls into place.

[egoeimai]

How to get rid of self-sabotage?

You dont have to get rid of it,because it doesnt exist. Its only your thoughts and you. Try to think better thoughts about yourself. Thats it there is no secret or books or shit. 

[Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj]

For me it seems to be a combination of low self-esteem and fear of the unknown. Since I started to develop myself more or less during the last two years one of the things that's been stopping me is feeling that I don't deserve to do this, I don't deseorve freedom. Another one has been feer of where all of this will take me. 

Maybe you could try contemplate questions like these?

-Do I feel like I deserve to take responsibility for my life?

-Do I feel like I deserve the freedom that this will provide me?

-Am I afraid of where this will take me?

-To do this, what must I let go of and why do I have trouble letting go of that?

Edited March 14, 2017 by Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj

[Nahm]

@Loreena Have you ever noticed how when you wake up, you have a perfectly clean slate mind wise? Notice how you resume the thoughts you don't want. But the key is noticing you wake up without them and 'search' and resume. The key is not resuming. Have headphones and something positive ready like an Abraham Hicks rampage, or whatever works for you. 

Listen the moment you wake up. Don't even get out of bed yet. Set the trajectory of your day this way.

Then, throughout the day, notice when you have a resistant thought - a doesn't feel good thought. Don't feed it. Don't go with it. 

Play the game of how far can I go in my day without allowing a bad feeling thought. 

You'll start making it whole days.

Days turn into weeks.

etc

Equally important- not eating poorly, excercising (if you can), and meditation. 

 

 

Edited March 14, 2017 by Nahm

[Christian]

Self sabotage happens because we have certain limiting beliefs regarding  what we think we can achieve. It is linked to our self concept. When you achieve more and be more than your identity allows, self sabotage kicks in gear to prevent you from the emotional discomfort of reality not matching your expectations. 

I think being aware of this mechanism really helps, seeing how it functions in your case. Maybe certain thoughts trigger the self sabotage? Maybe it is a subtle emotional resistance? Something along those lines. Try to notice it as the self sabotage as you are doing it. High awareness and unhealthy/unproductive behaviour like self sabotage can't really co exist. 

But to become aware, meditate daily. 

[The Monk]

@Loreena I would definitely suggest meditating, similarly to many others here. As it increases your awareness, which means that you see what you do and why and when you do it more clearly and quickly, which should help identify you're problem. But, I really need you to be specific about what are you sabotaging yourself with, or else like many I will simply give general advice.

 

Good luck!

[Vaishnavi]

I think @Christian summed it up quite well. Awareness is the best thing you can do. One thing I'd like to add is forgiveness and responsibility. And I speak from my personal experience. I fall off track way too often and way too easily. But then I realised that sabotaging myself was one of the major reasons why I was falling back in the first place and the major reason why I was struck in the spiral. It becomes an endless viscous circle with your sabotage triggering low self esteem and fear causing the behaviour that actually leads to self sabotaging.

What I try to inculcate more nowadays is when I feel like killing myself for a certain action/behaviour, I simply sit with myself, acknowledge it, think of it and then forgive myself, really. I accept my behaviour completely, and I forgive myself and then take full responsibility of it. And this works. This really works. 

Just keep in mind that you are the only person you have to help yourself. So you will have to learn to respect and forgive it. 

So yea, awareness, acceptance and forgiveness works 

[Nahm]

@Loreena was anything helpful?

[Loreena]

10 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@Loreena was anything helpful?

Yeah, lot of helpful suggestions

[Not me]

Try using NLP six step reframe. You can find the technique by googling it. It has helped me to avoid and understand self-sabotage in some areas of my life.

[Nahm]

Trying choosing how you feel and what you think?

 

[Loreena]

4 minutes ago, Nahm said:

Trying choosing how you feel and what you think?

 

Wow that was a great suggestion. It just didn't occur to me that I can actually choose how I feel and what I think. Thinking and feeling becomes so synonymous with breathing that it doesn't even occur that those can be separated and chosen. Thank you