How to open up again?

[Kalki Avatar]

Im dating this girl in which everything was going awesome (still but not as great as the beginning), I was already opening my self up, she too, trust and emotional connection was surging, we were about to fall in love. Then all of a sudden, I think she got fearful and made some shit tests/flakes which kinda angered me, I lost some trust from that, which ended up affecting her too. Now we are both emotionally closed with not much connection. I find my self in an avoidant attachment. How to deal with this type of attachment and how to build the connection again after closing up? I just don't know what to do literally to open up again. It feels forced when I try to. 

Edited April 23, 2023 by Kalki Avatar

[nhoktinvt]

just have sex with her i guess ? if the logistic is right and she's horny of course

[integral]

Got to relax and not take things to seriously, avoid over analyzing every little thing and taking things personally as a result.

[NoSelfSelf]

She just feels what you feel and if you closed,shes closed so just move on in the direction you started with,without caring about that "incident"... seeing that thinking makes it a big deal then it is  a big deal...

Its all a mindgame...

Edited April 23, 2023 by NoSelfSelf

[mr_engineer]

@Kalki Avatar Raise your standards for women. Look at her character-flaws that made her act like that. She basically acted like a low-quality person. 

Figure out why she did that, then look into whether you missed red-flags before making the decision to emotionally open up to her. Maybe you didn't know that those are red-flags, but now you do. So, next time, when you're interested in someone who doesn't have those red-flags, the logically right thing to do will be to give her the benefit of the doubt, that she won't hurt you. 

This is how you solve the problem of you closing up. 

Now, if she wants to work on her reasons for being egotistical (cuz that's what we're really talking about here), give her a second chance. If she doesn't do that, let her go. 

[Kalki Avatar]

@nhoktinvt Yeah, and I got more suspicious after suddenly saying she now wanna try with no protection. When she said she has never done it like that before... And has been curious about how a baby of us would look when she also said she wanted no kids... I wonder if she trynna play me. 

[integral]

Wow, red flag, RUN. 

Edited April 24, 2023 by integral

[Kalki Avatar]

@integral Thanks, yeah. I'm not taking her serious. 

Edited April 25, 2023 by Kalki Avatar