Weird thought experiment

[at_anchor]

Before say anything, I just want to say that I'm not a pedophile because I would never sleep with a kid and I wouldn't even think of sleeping with one in fantasy. Yeah, when I was ypunger, I had desires for that and not that long ago as well. However, when I was a kid, I never really expressed my feelings for others except when it was encouraged by society and my peer group. I always kept my mouth shut and my feelings burried even though in high school I had my first boy crush. He was so cute and he still is. I remember one night exercising in the park alone and feeling so fucking sad that someone else is probably with him. But yeah, anyway. Years went by and I had fantasies, yet I never fucking acted on any one of them, not in school, not anywhere else. I don't know why. I could have had amazing boyfriends all throughout high school if I was smarter. Now it's too late for that. Maybe it's too late for everything actually.  Today some boy was walking in front of me in the store. I felt zero attraction because he is too young and too young is kind of really not attractive in that way at all. But I felt afraid and uncomfortable because I felt he was set up to make record me feeling uncomfortable and appear like Pedophile with a capital P.  No way. That is just never gonna happen. In this case not even in the worst circumstances. 

 

Now I just want to ask you what would happen if you got tied up to a bed and woke up with a 14 year old on top of you all lusty and stuff, would you get a bonner? 

I bet you all would. I doubt there is a person in this world that wouldn't. Yeah, you might yell and scream, and try closing your eyes and thinking of something ugly. But I think that rare are people who would not get a bonner if this happened. Maybe if you are really old and have an erectyle dysfunction, am I right or not?

If I am right, why are people trying to make me appear like a pedophile when they are probably pedophiles in action? And they probably fucked the shit out of my molesters son. Ouch. I wish I never mentioned him and deleted all the stuff and mails and all. There's no bigger pedophiles than these guys that are accussing me of being one.

Now, if I can admit, if this happened to me, yes I'd get a bonner, and I'd be saying with an open mouth "Oh my God, get him off or don't, I'm not sure actually. Yayck, he's popping it so good. I can't, what can I do? Fuck. You got me." However,  JB for example was more beautiful as a twenty year old than a 16 year old. His 16 year old self and younger is actually to me personally not that attractive. The most attractive JB period was in his early twenties and when he was 19 as well. 

So yeah, you see, almost no one will admit this. I wish a boy that is angry at me was aware of this and he will be one day, even if I never tell him, which I won't, cause I'll never get a chance to..

I think I would not be able to keep my penis from getting an erection if thia happened. What about you? You don't have to answer. I already know the answer. So yeah. Just a useless post.  Sorry again. 

[at_anchor]

I actually had crushes even before high school, older and younger, just not anything substantial. No one got so close to me and my heart as this one boy when I was too old and even though I'm kind of not too old for him now, yeah, I'm waaay too bad.