Dangerous Dating Advice for Women by "Spiritual" Women

[Rubywoo]

Hello to everyone,

I'm a 24 year old woman and am trying to elevate and develop myself. Dating and relationship is obviously a big part of my personal development journey and these past months I came across the teachings of Mina Irfan, also called the Universe Guru on YouTube.

At first I really resonated with her knowledge and advice on topics of femininity and masculinity (polarity and relationship dynamics based on evolutionary studies and spirituality). The more I got down that rabbit hole and took one course of hers which was 1,5k (pretty big amount of money for me) I had a weird gut feeling when it comes to some of her messages like this one: 

 

She is basically repeating the old religious doctrine of dating for marriage, not having sex with man or being in a relationship (even longterm) with a man if it's not marriage. I see more and more young women my age falling for this concept for the sake of safety. While I don't judge them and I obviously understand that security and safety is a big thing for women I feel like teachings as hers are misleading to everyone who wants to be in a conscious relationship with someone. Also I highly doubt that a high quality man (in the "western cultures" as she likes to emphasize) is willing to marry a woman on the spot after 1-2 months of dating (which a lot of her students have "achieved". I'm sure this concept works for some and is still a part of everyday life in a lot of cultures around the world but didn't we develop out of this for a reason? 

Another crazy thing about her courses are the ridiculous prices. She has bundles for over 5-20k which is completely crazy to me. She also brags about how she makes 7 figure months and then I remembered what Leo says about the super super rich and how they become so rich by exploiting. This is what it feel like to me...

Felt like sharing and discussing. Much Love <3

Edited April 22, 2023 by Rubywoo

[thierry]

Okay I’ve only watched 2 minutes of your videos, I will not waste 1h watching her. It sounds that what you’ve realized is True. Honestly I could not tell you the right attitude for a girl to have in the dating place. But this attitude of « marriage or nothing » to me as a man is completely repellent. When I come across this kind of a woman, they are immediately Next. Not because I don’t want to find a girl who I could marry but because usually this kind of girls are a sweating fear and neediness and it disgusts me. On the other hand, you can’t give yourself to any Man neither so yeah you have to find the right balance. Enjoy being feminine for the sake of being feminine, you don’t need a man. Be feminine with all the men you would potentially want something with. Then screen your contenders looking how they lead the dance and who really has values. 
If you fall for a man, you can build an interesting relationship with him but do not necessarily think about marriage. Live in the now, it could lead to marriage you do not know. Be aligned with your feelings, not what one guru said. Anyway regardless of everything I have say, I am a man and I don’t really know. I’m aware what I said to you is relatively shallow but that’s the best I can tell.
(but what I can say for sure is that you are right that this woman can’t be trusted, I can feel it just by looking in her eyes)

[thierry]

Key words are Self respect and Playfulness. If you can combine the two as a girl, you’ll come across quality men I guarantee. 

[Spiral]

While I don’t care about a girls sexual past.
 

The only girls I’ve considered for long term relationships has technically been quite chaste. Not to the level of requiring marriage tho.

[puporing]

just go with your own intuition. the key is to find what's true for you, and not be afraid to look at it. 

personally I think one has to experience some things to really know oneself and what one truly desire in the end. 

[soos_mite_ah]

I am aware of her content and watched some of it out of morbid curiosity. 

She is one of those people who uses stage green terminology and buzz words to mask stage blue concepts to make them seem more palatable and progressive. I would say that nowadays this is becoming common in the "divine feminine / high value woman" circles as it is becoming more mainsteam and as people are having a backlash to stage orange girl boss "feminism". I put the "divine feminine/ high value woman" stuff in parentesis because those things are real but not as these stage blue masquerading as stage green portray it to be.  I also put "feminism" in parentesis when referring to the girl boss variety beause I don't think that inclusive feminism that is for the liberation of all women really flourishes under the girl boss mindset. 

[Roy]

Women just need to be victims of their emotions less often when it comes to dating and everything will go fine for them. If they thought a little more practically and logically they'd be happier.

[mr_engineer]

If I look at her as critically as I can, what comes to mind is that she's an ideologue. That's it. 

I don't see what's dangerous about that. You are free to follow her or not. 

And, about the fear of regressing to Stage Blue - keep in mind that Stage Blue is a foundation on which the other stages come. After religion loses its hold on society, there has to come a new ideology that tells parents how to be good parents, right?! And that basically teaches young people the best way to find their way to a secure relationship. You are free to debate the level of counter-productivity of the hook-up culture on this front. 

[something_else]

On 22/04/2023 at 9:32 AM, Rubywoo said:

She is basically repeating the old religious doctrine of dating for marriage, not having sex with man or being in a relationship (even longterm) with a man if it's not marriage

Marriage is likely a dying concept in Western countries anyway.

If you think about it, it's kind of a silly concept: "I love you so much I need the government to force us to stay together"

Just find someone you like and settle down with them, maybe have some kind of party. But there's no need to actually legally get married.

And the idea of girls who want to wait til marriage is also kinda off-putting for many guys. You would need to find a very very needy, or very very religious, man who was willing to wait that long before having sex. Because many men (and woman for that matter) want to know that you are both sexually compatible before you're legally locked in for life.

Edited April 24, 2023 by something_else

[mr_engineer]

@something_else The logic behind marriage is to have the option to get the government's help in the event that you have a child and your partner becomes abusive or something. Then, the government can hold them accountable as the parent of your child. 

[something_else]

21 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

@something_else The logic behind marriage is to have the option to get the government's help in the event that you have a child and your partner becomes abusive or something. Then, the government can hold them accountable as the parent of your child. 

But they are held accountable legally just by being a parent as far as I know. At least where I live, marriage is more about your shared assets than children.

[mr_engineer]

16 minutes ago, something_else said:

But they are held accountable legally just by being a parent as far as I know. At least where I live, marriage is more about your shared assets than children.

Ah, I see. 

Here, in India, from what I know, the legal process of giving a birth-certificate involves giving the government a marriage-certificate. Then, they certify you as the 'child' of these 'parents' who are legally proven to be 'married'. 

It's all a scam, honestly. 

[Chives99]

half of marriages fail in the us and uk cant speak for countries, without the social pressure and stigma to stay in one people have the option to seperate, I imagine there were a lot of unhappy marriages in the past. Always hearing about frustrated husbands stuck in sexless marriages and resorting to cheating as her interest dissolves and messy divorces involving finances and children. All these options to leave and the alternatives out their make people feel trapped in marriages and that they can be free outside of it. We can't go back to the past like this woman suggests society has completely evolved. I wouldn't be confident I could make a marriage work