The opposite of neediness is self love

[Chives99]

If you need something from someone its because you have  a sense of lack and that you need something to be complete and be a whole person,  ' i  will feel good enough when ive dated around a bit and had a relationship' you may tell yourself. Well why not just feel good enough now, if you love yourself now, then you can give this love to other people, i mean everyone is you after all, theres noone else here. You are exactly how you are supposed to be, you are perfect any working on yourself isnt done to make you good enough its done out of pure love and enjoyment. Try interacting with people with a sense that you are perfect in everyway and see how well they receive you. This requires letting go of control and the belief that intellectualising what the you is doing, its not possible to know anything, so if you let go of knowing you'll be  a peace, they'll be no more struggle.

[Vlad_]

1 hour ago, Chives99 said:

If you need something from someone its because you have  a sense of lack and that you need something to be complete and be a whole person,  ' i  will feel good enough when ive dated around a bit and had a relationship' you may tell yourself. Well why not just feel good enough now, if you love yourself now, then you can give this love to other people, i mean everyone is you after all, theres noone else here. You are exactly how you are supposed to be, you are perfect any working on yourself isnt done to make you good enough its done out of pure love and enjoyment. Try interacting with people with a sense that you are perfect in everyway and see how well they receive you. This requires letting go of control and the belief that intellectualising what the you is doing, its not possible to know anything, so if you let go of knowing you'll be  a peace, they'll be no more struggle.

I agree with you 100%, but it's not that easy unfortunately. Especially if you were raised in a dysfunctional society where everybody thinks of love as something conditional. It's like you deserve to be loved only if you do this and don't that. Now after years of personal development, psychological and spiritual work I'm starting to get the idea what self-love actually is. 

See this idea of unconditional self-love is a big threat for society, because it's not developed enough for it.