Can I just die? I don't want them in my life.

[at_anchor]

if people accusse me of being all the worst behind my back to all people and therefore ruin me even more and also do damage to me in every way they know how and can, does that mean that my life is over and that I should basically kill myself? 

i think that i can't hold a job or anything else and that it's time to die basically. They trick me and scam me and gossip about me everywhere I go. It's a real pain in the ass tbh. And to add to that, my health and my finances are in utter ruin. 

All this and I cannot just die because I am attached to the world and want more from life. Since I was a kid I desired a better life, I just didn't know much about the world so I had the wrong conceptions.

Now I see that this kid was extremely abused and that abuse just keeps coming back in new forms. 

Maybe I can just leave. 

[at_anchor]

I'll be fine. Things at this point calmed down but it might get messy later again.

[at_anchor]

2 hours ago, 001 said:

Why?

Read.

[at_anchor]

o my fucking God. they edited the dates of my recordings on my phone to confuse me and ruin the evidence. this is so fucking insane. if i die by my own hand, i just want to say that i was actually killed.

[at_anchor]

they edited it in such a way that they vut out parts of the recordings too, and also made the date appear to be recorded like my father was here on New years when this was recorded!

This has gone far away. I am telling you these people want to put guilt on me for everything,  including things I am not guilty for. If I show what was done to my head I suppose they will all pretend it is a lie and that i did it to myself. It is a crazy mindfuck, my life. 

[at_anchor]

they are even attacking my phone and recordings

[at_anchor]

and a recordings date that was recorded on the same day was replaced with a date that is like weeks away

[thepixelmonk]

bruh no one is hacking your phone

[at_anchor]

What's the point of living a life in jail or insane asylum and going through a court process where I am convicted for everything,  even the things others are guilty for and those really guilty ones get away and live their lives free to the maximum degree, above law and everything.

Just now, thepixelmonk said:

bruh no one is hacking your phone

Yes they are. I am 100% certain. Someone did this. Someone did this. I don't know how and when but someone messed with it.

[at_anchor]

anyway, for me an insane asylum sounds worse than jail. what do you think?

[at_anchor]

i don't want these experiences in life. 

[at_anchor]

i went to check the oldest recording I could find on my phone which dates to 2012. But I think I didn't even have this phone back then. Everything is in order except certain recordings. Okay, maybe that was a mistake of my phone, but why are recordings above with different dates?

Edited April 21, 2023 by at_anchor

[at_anchor]

I am not lying. If I am not lying, then what I am saying about the dates being changed and recordings deleted and other stuff is true. That means people have had my phone in their hands and did this. Who? I don't know. I know who might have been behind it. When? I don't know. I didn't check my recordings for so long.

Why? You know the answer to that. Selfish interest. They stand to lose something if I don't end up dead or judged as insane and liar.

[at_anchor]

What do I do? I have to die basically. I don't want my destiny to be in the hands of dangerous people like these. It is not gonna end better than suicide now. I am sorry, but if there was anything I could do for anyone before I die, I would. Everyone from my point of view is in danger who was born here. Whether they will get in a lot of danger like me or not is up to the people who actually have this place. It is all theirs. Law is bullshit. There is no property you can have next to them if they don't want you to have it.

[at_anchor]

If I was any worse than them in any way but looks and intelligence, I'd tell you. This is not about what you think it is about. It ain't about justice.

Spent the whole day here, meditated an hour. Realized that changing my family members behaviour and asking God in meditation what do I say to make her stop, or love me, it is like asking God for superpowers and the ability to go through walls by just saying "Open sesamy"

[at_anchor]

PS: The recording from 2012 january first was not a mistake. I remember being there and recording myself without internet with my phone set at the wrong date, probably the earliest date this phone could come up with. So just to be clear on that. My phone does not make this kinds of errors. This was really set up and edited by someone. The dates were so arranged as to appear it is so close and tp confuse me and trick me. The other dates don't go this far behind but go into the future a couple of days, not the past!

PS! sos

[at_anchor]

I also remember having sex one day and recording myself afterwards telling my family member how they exploit and so forth that was drunk. It is lizerally deleted.

[at_anchor]

I thought I had evidence of the fact that I am not guilty for the fight that broke out on 4th January. I thought. Even though I ended up much worse, no one saw and no one cares. They want to put the blame on me. Why? I don't know. I guess because I am ugly or maybe I don't offer any benefits. I am only a con for people with power. 

[at_anchor]

Oh, it was on the 4th January I know it. I have calls I remember receiving.

[at_anchor]

And not on fucking 13th and 23rd January. They knew I will be very well aware these two recordings were recorded on the same day, but they made it, yeah. So no one believes me if I ever wanted to open my mouth and tell the truth and show what monsters they are.