My Girlfriend Doesn't Believe in Evolution

[Insightful27]

I've been dating this girl for about a month. She was raised in a small town with a really abusive family and has significant trauma from it. It is clear to me that she has accumulated a lot of spiral-stage blue baggage. For example:

-Politics: She thinks that Trump was the last great president (though she doesn't like him as a person). Didn't get the COVID vaccine and says she won't get the flu vaccine. 

-Says things that are casually racist, homophobic, and transphobic

-Strong religious views: thinks that atheists are going to hell, abortion is a sin, evolution doesn't exist, shouldn't donate organs, she has physically seen Satan, she physically sees auras around people, she feels God's presence, etc

 

I never thought I could date someone like this. But despite the stupidity of her worldview, she is a kind and loving person. She is into meditation, chakras, nature, and other stage-green spirituality stuff. She is able to have deep conversations about things like masculinity/feminity that other girls wouldn't care about. I can feel how deeply she loves me, and I know had she been subjected to a different upbringing things would be changed completely.

What am I supposed to do when I am attracted to someone who is clearly way lower in spiral dynamics than I am?

 

 

 

-

[Sincerity]

19 minutes ago, Insightful27 said:

I've been dating this girl for about a month.

19 minutes ago, Insightful27 said:

I can feel how deeply she loves me

Bro, there is no "deep love" after merely a month of dating.

But go with what your heart wants. If You burn yourself a bit at least You'll gain more wisdom for the future, right?

[Ramu]

She's right, evolution is imaginary.

[Ramu]

@DefinitelyNotARobot personally Ive always thought evolution was a crock of shit from a materialistic view.  I was being more of a smartass really.  Everything is imaginary in the solipsistic bubble.  This is all dream world, despite its seeming real.  This is not bs religion but a spiritual view.  Not mainstream spiritual horseshit like sitting and chanting and doing Chakra, but the REAL deal.

[Ramu]

@DefinitelyNotARobot no worries friend!  She's using the Bible as an authoritative document.  She has to realize that she herself is the arbiter of truth.  Not the bible.  If she could open her mind enough to dispense with dogma, she would realize that she is the ultimate authority.  Not some book.

[Jacob Morres]

The girl im talking to is quite similar. I wonder the same things. I just don't talk about any of it with her 

My girl grew up in the phillipines and she holds a lot of blue ideologies

But we bank on a lot of other things we have in common. But still, u always wonder

Edited April 19, 2023 by Jacob Morres

[Sucuk Ekmek]

I don't buy Darwinian stuff as well.

I prefer Kropotkin. Mutual aid theory is much better and reasonable than survival of the fittest.

[integral]

There is a way to have conversation about evolution and Trumpism that are productive. Focus first on the mood of the conversation and tone and introduce ideas in a way she feels are not personal attack on her beliefs and intelligence. If they feel good about the conversation then they are more likely to change there beliefs.  

Edited April 19, 2023 by integral

[Carl-Richard]

There is this girl I'm talking to that doesn't like it when I say that I have OCD in the colloquial sense (we both study psychology, and psychologists are taught very strict definitions of diagnoses), even when I'm explaining that I'm using the normie definition and not the proper definition. It's both of us being dofuses in our own ways (her for not being flexible with frames, me for succumbing to the normie frame ). You don't have to think 100% the same as somebody you like, but of course there are degrees to that question.

Edited April 19, 2023 by Carl-Richard

[Carl-Richard]

1 hour ago, Sucuk Ekmek said:

Mutual aid theory is much better and reasonable than survival of the fittest.

Isn't that basically just another word for group selection?

[mr_engineer]

This kind of person was 'normal' before COVID came up. 

And, this kind of person evolves (ironically) through the pandemic, not believing the official narrative. 

About the 'evolution not existing' part - I think that's a word-game. Just figure out what word she uses to explain people changing/living beings changing as an adaptation to their environment. I think you can change her mind about the evolution-thing. 

And, saying casually racist/homophobic/transphobic stuff was relatively normal before such people started getting cancelled. And, before the mainstream started getting forced to be politically correct. It's still normal outside first-world countries. 

I think that you should focus on the positives and not the negatives. If she understands masculinity and femininity and if she loves you, you can talk this shit out and come to an agreement sooner or later. 

[Roy]

Relationships where you don't have at least moderate to strong overlapping values/frameworks/worldviews/beliefs are fundamentally doomed. You can try and cover it up, or ignore it all you want, but sooner or later it will bite you in the ass. You can't force the other person to develop or change such critical junctures in their mind, or you will sabotage things trying to change them or yourself to make the relationship work.

Out of all the relationships I've been in and seen, I can't remember a single exception. It's almost a requirement.

10 hours ago, Insightful27 said:

What am I supposed to do when I am attracted to someone who is clearly way lower in spiral dynamics than I am?

The fact this is a concern at all should be ringing some alarm bells.

By all means enjoy the relationship while it lasts, but in my opinion you are kicking a dangerous can down the road.

I would break up with someone like this, and never get into a (serious) relationship with them in the first place in the future.

Edited April 20, 2023 by Roy

[Sucuk Ekmek]

22 hours ago, Carl-Richard said:

Isn't that basically just another word for group selection?

I think there is nothing "evolutionary" in his book. It's more like quality of life changes between species for harsh conditions. I mean if you wonder read it for yourself.

[Leo Gura]

You probably shouldn't be dating stage Blue girls. You're not gonna fix that level of indoctrination.

The real solution is to screen out stage Blue girls before you even sleep with them.

Edited April 20, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Hello from Russia]

13 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You probably shouldn't be dating stage Blue girls. You're not gonna fix that level of indoctrination.

The real solution is to screen out stage Blue girls before you even sleep with them.

How do you reconsile the fact that this girl does a lot of new agey green type of stuff as OP mentioned? Despite having a ton of blue in her

[Carl-Richard]

7 hours ago, Hello from Russia said:

How do you reconsile the fact that this girl does a lot of new agey green type of stuff as OP mentioned? Despite having a ton of blue in her

The world is not black and white. It's green and blue (jking ?). But yeah.

[Insightful27]

On 4/19/2023 at 11:00 AM, Sincerity said:

Bro, there is no "deep love" after merely a month of dating.

fair enough. Deep love relative to my past relationships.

[Insightful27]

On 4/21/2023 at 7:28 AM, Hello from Russia said:

How do you reconsile the fact that this girl does a lot of new agey green type of stuff as OP mentioned?

I'm trying to figure this out myself. My hope is that deep down she is green lol.

[Insightful27]

On 4/19/2023 at 9:33 PM, Roy said:

By all means enjoy the relationship while it lasts, but in my opinion you are kicking a dangerous can down the road.

I would break up with someone like this, and never get into a (serious) relationship with them in the first place in the future.

I'm leaving for college in a few months. It's not a long-term thing.