Reflections Flow, Expansion&Contraction

[ValiantSalvatore]

90% of the time I opend a journal somehow someone liked it. I vented a lot more stuff and I just see some patterns that are just not explainable. 
I've found and listend to some of the dirty, the yellow pill I'll call it as it's more hardcore, some redpill&bullpill distinctions and some gamers, who are quiet serious. 
Through the last two weeks of shadow work I've gained more clarity, although I'd like to keep these journal briefer. I used to get my needs meet online, I know that without my doing a lot of distabillity has been caused. I loved to share success with people who love to enjoy it with me, yet I've noticed this pattern of disrespect.
For a quick review, I've also been more aware of the issues of social contagion, and how I am contributing (that is not new), yet many do not realize how much hope I bring and others simply get jealous. I've been more social as of lately, and I've found mindsets that help me. My game is getting slightly better online, offline also and I've drawn clearer distinctions. I am more aware of pitfalls in the bias of the teaching because of this hope fabric, I am pretty difficult to fool, yet naive at times. 

It's been an eye-opener to see how empathy is recommended from hardcore gamers, and to think and empathize with women, I noticed how through this military stuff, I've had this blue pill alpha mindset partially installed in me, that I would not have recognized would it not have been for the audiobook I am listening to. 

I figure to write briefer posts of improvements mostly, metaphysical insights I was working to build that scaffold what broke me I think was not trusting the few connections I had online as I was utterly despised and still am with the human idea of "racism" it's not easy to get it out of me and I notice it everyday that it's mostly status. 

I notice some patterns that have not been as obvious to me before, yet I am not letting people anymore in my life who disrespect me and I can't have any respect for. That is detrimental to stuff, that means also very close and old friends. The new friends all respect me and help me. The point simply is I notice how much frame matters, and I never cared so that is a frame also. I have a new date on wednesday, I would most likely be swimming in dates, in a larger city as would have more valor. I checked out a pretty hot chick at the gym she enjoyed it moved down her groins, and I presume the 1-3 months of the shadow work integration is happening from sexual shaming, and the military blue pill stuff. It's insane how dumb men are as a collective, I am glad at times to not consider me human, to not fall for all of this folley, be it superhuman, alien etc. I've checked out OkCupid I do think I resonate internally with liberal degenerates as Heartise tells? Would show. 

It legit opend my mind and that has been a long time, it either has been jailbroken by DMT, and not upgraded by LSD. I see how the lessons over the past year are beign included and I am making more improvements. Principles do take time, it just takes time to hone them. The point is the dig deeper into the abillity to solve problems and see logic mostly as a form of masculine energy. It has been hijacked by my mother for some reason. A lot of emotional damage has been done by my mother the father issues are more collective and this subtle disrespect here, is also an issue. 

That is mostly it, there is a lot of bitterness thanks to having and sorry for saying this bitter women in my life who project their stuff upon me at times! Not always, and it's socially not allowed to call women bitter, bitter cat ladies etc. It's interesting stuff to contemplate about. I notice other attraction patterns and why I'll kick some stuff of my love map. I was serious about growth and I realized how my mother was correct with material stuff, often it is status that is the relevant issue. 
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I'll leave this open after gym sessions, there is still a lot of hatred harbored in my heart against the pig mentality? Of society and I might have hurted some people, yet I did not really intend to I was so lost and mostly only one person I've found believed in me, and that felt very well. Which was my old psychologist. I will never again say no to a synchrodestiny type of experience and synchronicities. As well as conscious moment that surpass my understanding. As well as text and write to more liberal women at times. I do enjoy the flat hierachy and I know why I dislike some stuff, and why I wanted to be a linchpin. I noticed how much I missed this stuff when I was 12-16 years old, as I just did not have any books and or other tools. As well as to many bitter women, I would not date a women ever who disrespects men. I love feminism, I love feminists, I don't enjoy disrespect. I am very respectful usually, to respectful where I see the pain of having to be disrespectful at times. 

I notice I feel healing, and get utterly into growth when I listen to this frequency, I did this also in China and the flow kinks out all shadow energies without disrespecting the current breathwork hype. The point is perfection notices.... I do notice.... that is what I mean.  

Posting only on gym days, for dating insights and reflections, trips and at very conscious and very dark moments, if the pull is to heavy for any reason (I did stuff you'd act to much of proud like and I cringe). I quiet. I am working in recovery. 

Copy-cats be copy-cats I will close down stuff, if I see any copying. This is a lecture. If I see non-originiality I will close this journal, stop all ideas. Remember in America thanks to your work and projections, I am the law. I notice I can integrate the horny dog. I don't enjoy disrespect at all. 
 

Edited April 18, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

I am grateful I am aware of vision the vision I wanted to create more after reading heartise
I am grateful I am aware of the purple delusion of society and emotional hijacking
I am grateful to use this forum spotaneously to share joy and results
I am grateful to not be around women who wantd children and still act as if they don't want them
I am grateful for true compassion 
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Brief review after the past and last interactions with sociopaths and to untypical people I decided I can't deal with it, as I do have hypersensetivity and vgp. I will leave anyone women alone that has a close to borderliner personality and is not a true hypersensetive empath in a way that is neurotic. Any women that is to neurotic is not on my RGW list. Anyone who disrespect the effort to be a great man will be utterly ignored and left out. 

20-30% of people have hypersensetvity, it's not even that rare. 

Anyone who dismisses this potential, I am very kind I notice how rough that can be. 

The 30 minutes I do is fundamentally just a very small baseline practice more is doable one other days. I will say so much. If I notice this forum and or people does not do me any well. I just close and lock 99.9% of it. I stil see many of you are humans who play human games, and I do to. Just less of an extend usually, as I do let go. I don't care about shallow things like a reputation, yet I care about respect and abillity to do something etc.

This journal will just be here ocassionally to work on the hypersensetivity and VGP stuff, as I can volutarily get that energy out and spread it, I notice humans intentions before they even show me it, so I have at times issues beign doing basic stage 1 social practice. Stage 2 is more comfortable to me usually, right now I legit train stage 1....

Tiny feedback:

Look women more into the eyes, when you don't feel this strong domineering intent & do it when you feel the correct domineering intent.
Great men who are joyous and not in lower emotions ignore lower emotions mostly no point no training in social skills.
If it's a painful talk might accept it you learn something
Generally look out for stage 1 pleasentries people somehow love to share these with me
Great random hot girls at the gym, some really do like me for a reason.
Look more for body language cues, yet gernally look women more into the eyes and men. I do have a fear of eye contact as I am enormously sensetive to this, and I feel a lot of intentions a lot. 

The point is growing as much as possible above status, while having it. Last type and kind of this post, I am more intersted in visual feedback systems, when I have a tablet, for some deeper more visual insights. 

Edited April 18, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

Today I saw the low class bullying of the types of assholes that bullied me and make themselves stronger through manipulation and gaslighting, even the professor told him to shut-up it's an identity build around perforamnce. I see such people mostly have been free from the vulnerabillity marketing segment, as well as from other type of stuff. It's now as every year and for decades a phenomena, I am giving my best I just am unsure often when I ask questions they simply are not comprehending my needs. They project very racist ideas, because they either stem from low class families, and or have been instructed by memes and the like to perpetuate these ideas. I am still somewhat save and have billion back-up plans. It's ridiculous how much resistance I meet from envious twats and 6w5 INFJ's legit this guy is such a white knight this is the pattern I discovered yesterday, it's incredible how racist the average white male is based on fear and hatred media. The more social you are the more you are clowned into this perception and I don't know what their RAS is doing, yet it's one hell of a racist shit show, taking vulnerabillites on and projecting because I show valor despite their indoctrination. 

That is what I notice, as well as how tricky this stuff is, as I do forget things I don't practice very often, I am legit glad for my last psychologist in this animal country. Most of these humans are very low and basic creatures, and I don't enjoy it. I wondered what triggered me and it was the arrogance and the dismissal of honest vulnerabillity, that legit bothered me how you can make fun of things like an inept social creature. The professor had to laugh at the notion of small penis, I do think some men are utter assholes for having power this and or that. 
---
I don't need to follow anyones expectations. That is a huge issue with lazyness and other stuff I refrain from mentioning. At this achiever level I can't work that slow, they are not recongizing their projections and their entire identity morally and emotionally is 3.5, culturally I am framed in this country as either 3.0 and 3.5, some are more aware and at least see the 4.0. Although I notice from my awareness at 5.0 constantly and 4.5, yet I have skill isues at 3.0 and 3.5. 

I noticed I neglected the idea of efficiency, a lot which I was naturally drawn, also the performer drive it's of this 4.0 achiever stage, this maps dovetail nicely, I do think if this guy is an ESTP he's triggered and awe'd by holistic beauty, while I see more of it naturally like INTP's basically and ENTJ's. It's quiet obvious and most stuff I detect becomes often a somewhat global trend, holistic efficiency will be on the rise I am pretty sure, even more than before. More whole solutions of tiny problems that solve the entirety of stuff. Basically micro solutions for macro impact. I'll work more with the O'Fallon model for shadow work it's a bit more percise as to just have no scaffold at all. I have more ideas for efficiency mostly now. This perspective will also help me to fix more issues and have more wholes constructed, it takes some time to re-wire the brain from the "understanding types". 

It's not as good creation and design, evaluation and analysis is simply better. The professor likes me and I like her that is great, yet I'll utterly focus on efficiency, I wanted to take it slow it never worked, nobody ever wanted slow, yet they do not realize it. I'll give my best to work out this stuff, just keep me out of to many patterns, it's heavy how low these humans perceive you for skin-color at times and the high hopes etc. Their monkey brain does not stop not matter how high the IQ etc. Monkey stays monkey. 

I can do much now reflection is also a higher-cognitive order, it's not easy currently and to many frames and no coherence of a whole I can honestly contemplate without getting into the territory of negative projections. 
--- 
There simply is more wholeness it's unfortunate to realize how much subtle types of discriminations occure out of fantasy and stage purple, no wonder tribes have been at war. That is one of the few things I can say so far, it's very difficult for me as many interests of mine have been sabotaged by envy hijacks, social domination and inabillity to find power. I don't know I can work with what is here, as I have more 7 tendencies as 6'ish type tendencies. It's a bit tricky to see so many loopholes, knowingly also knowingly you can't fix them all and looking for the most efficient tool. 

I looked at some new stuff on meta-learning and I'd like to integrate that instead of the perception humans have of black/colored etc. men and women. Most are incorrect some are correct, so you are mostly wrong. I hope the Ralston books arrives, I repeat as much as possible and focus on efficiency. I overfocused on effectivness, and it might be counter-intuitive. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

Writting another brief insights about contemplating the toxic liberterian mindset, as well as some minor truths of them. To digest this material is not easy, although very true at times. What I wanted to write about efficiency, is as well as the awareness of it. I neglected it. The point of also having this purple frame thanks to some stuff, the only healthy dynamic I have at stage purple is with conscious people and some generalizations mostly. What I want to say is, it's very tricky when I notice I project and had to project this image of beign rich and having money etc. Also how disgusting the average european is and discriminatory, with a bias and the indoctrination legit of the blue pill alpha, I am unsure what to make of it, as I see how it can damage men, it's odd to consume the material make sense of it and not be toxic, I wrote down the other RGW stuff, as well as the lower level dynamics of "getting laid", and it's a tricky walk stage purple is very delusional and often an unfair projection. 

I waste time mostly, thanks to the corruption of healthy stage purple, the healthy tribe as it has been hijacked mostly, by liberterian types as guillable see any historical movements, briefly where industrialisation started. The point is most of the power is there in the industry. It's an odd contemplation to make, how pleasent it is to date stage green women and how tricky of a war it is between stage green and anything slightly above orange. Orange explotis all stages below, Green discriminates all stages below mostly besides red as it's about willingness and fairness for them often. 

The point is I see this pattern of player, perfomance points, andrew tate and deconstructive and not constructive red, and he is just not deconstructing the right thing. He is constructing ironically somewhat somewhat normal, yet what can I saw about a bordell owner? The current issue is moralism of stage orange and performers, and their longheld biases without much counter-evidence, in America it should be different to some extend, yet I see how the lack of morals and emotional development is a huger hinderance to a more peaceful community. It's heavy how strong women react to stage purple. As well as how performance apes want to control you, with just one chance, and the effort I usually put in I am gone and out of this country, they know it and they don't realize how disgusting most of these people are playing with healthy normally fully healing type energy, they fuckwit with your energy, I don't like fuckwits, yes I am still cursing here, with energy. Pun intended, soo I am learning this new liberterian type way of life with their social truths which are relative and very tricky, yet there is merit, that is the issue. 

The point is I love efficiency, it created effectivness, now I have effectivness that creates efficiency, I am legit working on lower stages. The point is mostly I see how stage orange and also how like, I'd wonder if I meet Leo I'd be surprised how open he is, when I see others etc. Fundamentally, I am scared of these deep emotions that I can't fully handle solo, without exercise and more respect and confidence. The social issue of IQ and testing, sorry for stemming the idea here is extremely bad and flawed andd the liberterians how inherited this worldview I also did somehow otherwise it would not trigger me, are looking at a partial truth. I don't enjoy how painful it is to integrate Hitler, I swear I don't know else why 6w5's seemingly trigger me so much, I don't know what it is it is about total preparedness having never missed out on something. Also this status and authority thing, and somehow I am neglecting holarchy, yet THESE WOMEN AND BEAUTY I DON'T KNOW WHY GIRLS YET YOU ARE OFTEN LOOKING AT ME WHEN THERE ARE NONE OTHERS AROUND AS BEAUTIFUL ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE ALSO ATTRACTIVE; THE POINT IS UGLY RATTY DOGS; ARE OFTEN THEN JEALOUS; AND I HAVE THE SOCIAL POWER; BECAUSE OF THIS TO KEEP HIM SHUT; I KNOW SELF-CONTROL, just when I can't expand it by testing I don't know either. 

I love women, even when I wrote something toxic I apologize, I know I fear loosing control because of how injust most of society has been especially to me and with that I mean society and it's humans not also how irrational and discriminating rationalists are in not beign fully above yellow they don't see the projections I dunno for some it's their entire life, I just don't enjoy the liberterian mindset and I still have to learn from it with social domiance, respect and status. It's quiet heavy, although there are funny truths, what is annoying is not receiving apprasial for stuff I loved and encouragement is different from motivation, as well as rewarding.

It's quiet heavy how discriminating and not consciously discriminating the average scientific high iq "ugly" human is regardless if man or women, if they are in a group. It's intersting to digest what works and what is effective, as well as how others perpetuate ideas to keep power ot them. What I don't enjoy is how much it helps to write it out, how much shadow work helps and how much just breathing and feeling it. The point is I don't know why this started I can give you the exact perfect recall of when and why, and it's mostly about attention, fame & glory, as well as status. I usually enjoy beign liked by others, so I take a dislike very seriously it's fine, yet I take it seriously. So be aware. 

Big dogs don't bite for a reason. I am integrating more of the animal nature, I could look more for ideas. The point is in this making fun of projections to find out who I am 3.0,3.5 spectrum I don't enjoy the projections even with high iq, if the ego is there you are basically almost impossible to have power in these high circumstances. More and more of the very elite are high Green, it's just masses of orange. When I look at blooms taxonomey, it's very evident what is wrong with stage orange, as they are all about application and not about creation. The eval crew is usually good. Usually.

I usually don't project this, yet I notice how these apes are doing it to me, and it's mostly the Hitler types of 6w5's and and all combinations of that with mbti, if they are stuck in purple development, I don't know what it is, I will find out it's about having very honest disgusting discussions that are not prolific about anyone, it's just about purity and beign elite. Without a group these humans would be lost. They guilt trip you as very young and naive. I know why I still enjoy boomers, as zoomers are one of the worst generations I have meet when it comes to the woreship of Andrew Tate, they can't see how appealing it is for some to be a player when young, and have skill with women, that is the original idea no? Not manipulating and getting money etc. What bothers me is how at times a single person can trigger me so much without knowing him. I can integrate now that I am a low class street dog for some reason, because of public perception and I will still avoid these Kevins like a plaque, because these people think of you like this besides if you're high green, then I would be some beautiful animal most likely, or Orange/greenish type projections. 

A pool player is a player, a dart player is a player, a video game main character is a player. The issue is with these odd head types the corrupt growth. When I just solve problems and do not focus on development something is not working for me. The point is as soon as I can do it all discrimination stops, and it shows how lowly developed these guys are egoically at 3.0/3.5. 

Also 4.5 strategist can be highly discriminating because they don't see their projections having an effect. It's odd. I don't know what to say. Why am I not efficient, and what is not efficient, where can I be efficiently more patient? etc. I am a bit afraid working in a wrong company could be detrimental. For now I continue and let myself not get hijacked by this it's again like I was in all companies shadow work, I am just a vessel of consciouness I know this piece of shit contemplates stuff like this, he never had a taste he does not comprehend distinction just is, all of these boundaries are drawn and just there. You can also cut through them .... it's ridiculous how clearly you can see this guy has no idea and never had a taste, even though he would have the potential to get it when he contemplates his own fragility and or death. That is arrogance. In my eyes, when you are utterly save to contemplate it and you choose not to out of fearful arrogance, not bold arrogance. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

I can't believe these likes at times also at the oddest moments. I have to be careful. I don't know how to do academica healthily without exercise. This is such a ridiclous self-revolving door man. I did I bet close to 500+-200 sessions of shadow work solo. With the amount of stuff I write. *sigh*. Orange is just not very good, the media is also abhorrently disgusting. Abhorrently disgusting. German *cough* commercials HAHA ALL OWANGE BLUE LOOK IT'S BROWN HAHAHAHAH. I can't watch this shit, everyone knows it. 

I can integrate the color percetion of 3 animal colors 3!!! Why are these 3 colors 3 animal colors for real??? This girl partially looks like my step-mother it's insane and she is so fking hot. Dude I don't know man what to say about this, my father was a gifted musican has to play with slim chances etc. I contemplated all of the dirt (not very deep, yet some of it) and the scientific stuff just does not stop also. The point is he never had the chance to properly heal anything, it's insane how disgusting the average street scientific dog is. How many also vote liberal, because it gives more faireness, even the ugly guy will not be discriminated dating a hot chick. But hey, take all power to your justice. 

It's odd, I am legit looking for what is efficient, by typing a lot of stuff away. To them I have been a grey mouse, a brown bear, and a green chamelon all sp/so qualties of projection and either sp/sx. I AM SO/SX AND SO/SX IS SO RAY RAY PERCEPTED IT'S INCREDBILE. I don't even know what to say the more I read about the ennegram the more I learn about shadows etc. I don't know I have 3 dates practically now and other stuff.

It annoys me my father legit was interested in boosting my talent and capabillities while "mom" let's you play, it's legit interesting to see this. The point is most people project still when they are conscious god to me, I could trip in a class nobody would notice I bet. They might ask what is wrong etc. Yet nobody would notice, it's funny how competent I became there. 

I don't know what is up, yet this is a 10-8 in this liberterian mindset. What annoys me is how all of this is beign played out here, and how my animal nature how I can integrate it more. I miss close black friends to make fun of "ze beast" and play around with strength the point is, we are such primitive creatures. I respect the c.s decan here a lot. Legit all professors the students and their development is the issue. 

I am also an issue, the point is they love to just go after the seemingly black sheep, having a hot chill chick? With character is tricky. What I don't enjoy is how health and "the body" are holding me back into growing fully. The point is I do think my step-mother generally had higher self-worth than my mother I also completely forgot, I once went rampage after an LSD trip, as I contemplated how she was jealous and squashed my leg? My father did not life healthy, because he smoked cigarettes? Here take it for your Andrew Tate analysis you're priviledge does not need to deal with the projection as you're not a player right? In no single circumstance ever....

The point is my father was still relatively speaking a very good and inspiring man, even my mother says that. He just lived toxic, I don't know why you have to smoke cigarettes, it's so heavy what these street dogs did to black humans. I can't even integrate their lessons at times.... it's very unfortunate.... and also very needed healthy purple... a healthy tribe is strong and alive.

What I can make more efficient is seeing that efficieny is one of the core values of freedom&autonomey at orange, as well as the contractive forever seeming issue with the expert in me and stage blue. The point is about beign a professional and as clean and RHINE as possible, otherwise???? I will not fully work despite all differences.

I do have a lot of issues with intelligence despite all different opinions and as it's a fear of mine they sniff it out and abuse it. Force you into a lower bracket of thinking. The point is my father was seemingly very talented from what I saw and heared, and also very gifted my mother destroyed a lot of self-worth and externalized it. My father did more good than my mother in that sense emotionally, yet not practically that is what most don't get. He knew how to care, my mother did not. She is a practical German. She does not know emotions and is on coffee. How I can be more efficient with shadow work and meditation and working? 
 

• Food and the issue of it, I am currently mixing fruits and all nuts possible on discount and eat it with oatmeals, I don't value eating, I don't enjoy it. I enjoy classification, yet this is discriminated by social green assholery, What is it? What kind of fish? etc.
• Women and the liberterian crux of power, boss, player, bad-boy, exciting professional and the blue pill alpha stuff more manosphere stuff and do shadow work, I want to be a masculine spiritual men, I resonate more with a king archetype, yet I am more of tyran currently.
• Efficiency and productivity and intermittend rewards. The 6w5 stuff is a lot of being about preperation and having solved practical problems I have fear of these, as I never did well in this and my family valued these, and I am just god when just people throw me into hell for whatever reason. 
• Otherwise I dunno it's very painful to deal with this office power if the 6w5 .... eh.. let's rephrase if the 6w5 is asian, usually stuff goes and works better for all, even me for whatever reason. It's rare to meet mostly clean and high-empathy types. 
• I also never thought as engineering as an outlet for the intellect for men, this book was quiet amazing in showing this. 
• It's painful at times how much feedback humans give me as they look at me and see "perfect, perfect, perfect" then beign gaslit when you are beautiful! HEY! These girls don't like me for no fking reason okay, yet you are not recognizing YOU ARE GASLIGHTING BECAUSE YOU ARE UGLY YES; YOU ARE; AND NO YOU ARE NOT! THIS IS ALSO WHAT HAPPENS WITH BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE MANY ARE NOT NARCS; THEY ARE VICTIMS OF NARCS OFTEN AND UGLY PEOPLE IN MY LIFE OFTEN HAVE BEEN MORE NARCCISTIC; BECAUSE THEY DEFINE THEIR SELF-WORTH OF BEAUTY; WHAT IS EVEN THAT? self-worth is a constant flux of emotion. 
   

My pc clock legit stopped. I am not respecting my time, and I am afraid to make so many mistakes and hurting people, as no single human can integrate so much so fast, without doing it full-time. The point is Wilber unearthed so much. etc. etc. It's not possible without serious study to type about this I am just appaled at how humans can put genetic engineering over proper diagnosis. What else can I say and or write... it's unfortunately better for me when I conserve sexual energy for projects if I let it all out, I get distracted by more petty things. 

I don't know what to say at times. My brain is at times hijacked by perception and the issue of perfection. 

I have a rough idea of what shadow work I will integrate. The point for me is having pleasure in more problem solving things, as well as spotting potential errors and fixing them. I legit should have created my business back then, I want to move cities to find more healthy business partners I miss the strong men at the gym for showing me the power of overcoming obstacles, nobody is perfect. Especially if you are 9w1. 
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What I can do in terms of pure efficiency is imagine the ultimate minimization of error, in my neural net, as if I am ChatGPT, as a visceralization, then how would my daily life look, the reduction of chaos. Fundamentally it would look like, wake up not matter what. Spot daily and current errors.

Sleep timers, not using google calender for appointments, no weekly planning, proper food intake, shakes with nuts and a lot a lot of oat milk. I will not drink normal milk, more cheaper and healthy meats and fish, I can't invest more into health. It's fine getting angry at shitty structures. More frozen fruits, more loads of them, more even if possible just bread and legumes nothing more pure efficiency eating. I am so angry when hungry. 

Faster walking pace. What are emotional efficiency hijackes, emotional games, not having read the heart of game, not tracking myself, not looking and beign productive it gives me a lot of meaning, beign around people who judge my social value, removing myself from toxic women. 

If I would tell you how hard it is to be attractive and competent men, you would not believe me. Of course somethings are made easier also, it's still hard as everyone thinks you are fake and I distrust my own emotions, some gaslight you into this black is ugly thing. 

What is efficient and effective is of course the more whole question, I know I am massively afraid, yet it's a no brainer there are patterns I have an odd control over and that seem like this giant gate is closing. What is efficient for me is also online-dating socially. Saying no to the new friend at times. 

I don't like that how tricky it is to work with sexual energy, either consciously it takes forever etc. I can even eat a kiwi now occasionally.... I can just gulp the dirt. Brown color yeah. I forgot my best friend... I do have emotional issues at times, especially with competence and the w5 spectrum the dark side of it. I also make progress, the point is this pride of complacency in a family is also not good I wanted to remake stress my friend, as it can be invigorating. 

The point is just continuing and ignoring context is incredibly hard at times. Also the subtle sexual gaslighting that is a serious issues with prolcaimed intelligence, these humans are the abomination of evil. I don't enjoy it when other pity me, think I am pitting myself and or are acting out of good will compassion that has no hard truths in it, real compassion hurts a bit and stings, not the I feel sorry for you fake sympathy shit. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

Sympathy is also very efficient, unfortunately this is some of the stuff I am learning. 

I should also not text girls when hungry.... I will look for efficiency, I am scared utterly of failing even when I passed the exam, yet it's disgusting how low these humans are for some merit. Anger oh yes I am angry 90% of the time. 

Wine one glass. This is at least some intermittent rewards, I am scheduling so much and I don't enjoy this merit ridden German society, it's tricky to embody mastery the perception of stupid and hatred. To let go and build all of this stuff. 

It's insane how low their teaching abillity is when all you do is problem solve. There are also none ISFJ and ISTJ's here who usually help me. 
---- 
I will also go out. The point is I embodied a lot of self-hatred, for no reason. I still don't enjoy it. I will just clean myself and do this once, I know this is a mistake. 

Even when I trained my brain to look for positive cues, I harboured a lot of negativity I often see why, as I move regions. What fundamentally bothers me are blue collar projections etc. Germany with 6w5's are fundamentally fking racist at times, very racist some stuff I know from reading. 

I am sabotaging myself, as others are sabotaging me as I am discluded from something. By having been move to to many structures and others not seeing me as perfectly fine is a serious issue, because they act like they don't have issues and you have a lot of them. 

What makes it more efficient is having habits, goals and ideals I miss still today healthy role models, I don't like cigar smoking apes like aubery marcus at times, for me it's the pinnacle of stupidity to smoke and to have had smoked a single cigarette. These hygiene games digustingily low class humans play is a serious issue and also high class, although some concerns are valid. I feel bad for a lot of stuff, and I notice how important it is for me to be more egotistical, yet I am framed in an egoless states to appear less dangerous. 

It's insanely tricky for me to navigate this social sphere at times. They like to see effort, at one point my body can't take effort anymore. 

I would go for more runs usually, after the check-in with the doctor I can see what I can do. This is very enjoyable as a reward. .... 
 

Edited April 18, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

Briefly posting this. I will just test these guys technique and his students techniques, I don't resonate well with academic learning at all. He also has way more yang and not yin energy. 

I am legit looking simply for what I can learn and respect. What I don't enjoy is how I am self-sabotaging myself. Even when self-aware. Because of bullies and sexual bullies who socially discriminate you, like a social type of classification. How I can be more effective&efficient, eat more, exercise more use vision more. I am continue studying I legit respect the non-contractive masculine healthy energy from the guy. Without the emotional hijacking even when there are subtle critical areas that currently caused the stuff. 

Going to continue studying. There is some energy in me that I can't quiet turn around. Into what I want, I did many mistakes by having to much fear, all in all it's fine. Fear is a contractive force. This guy is fearless. I love it.

[ValiantSalvatore]

I am not embracing efficient diversity in yang energy. Even just noram diversity I notice, I never thought looking for the alternative is an higher cognitive order, I framed it as so green, as it's odd. I know somewhere deep down I love mathematics, yet most of my loves have been corrupted by envy, my own, that of others, that of my grandma I dealt with, and the competitive nature of my mother not father. 

Love is healing, compassion is a gift. Thank everyone who does not hate me for what I type, and for beign unable at times to simply just do the thing as I fear beign killed etc. 

Pride is solving and beign better, let's presume all of it is wrong, everything I read and start from a blank state and upgrade and work with what is there. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

When I give the best to talk to my mother etc. I notice some issues, I could let go of her.

Fundamentally most women have more empathy than her that I date, yet I notice so many shadow patterns I have while studying I have to include her. 

It's also the biggest ape possible sorry to say that, yet she is a really big one. She denies, and gaslights and just blames others and is cynical total denialist and only about the "real merit". 

She does not know how to be a good mother. I notice how some of these patterns are in me, and how heavy it is to have cynical gaslighting practicality types. Who moralize a lot. It's different from male friends, yet she is quiet bitchy. 

The thing for me is. To be more efficient I'd have to cut her out and I can't empathize with her, as it threatens me to much her influence is bad. She is fine as a human and caretaker, yet her judgemental moralism is a real issue.

I did not have a father where I could shadow work and she frames him at times in a way that is giga toxic. The point is if I would be my father I would leave her, also because she is extremely judgemental and disrespectful to men at times, especially male energy. 

I am glad my grandma existed... she always embraced this expansiveness and my aunt, also my aunt is simply great... 

The bitterness hahaha legit inherited from my mother, yet can I make fun of her to heal myself. Call the me2 area, and file the complaint. Rigid office vibe. Why I don't enjoy 9w1, often they are so oddly evading and gaslighting. 

Should this and should that. Reading this libertarian type book legit opened my eyes to some humour and how dumb. Both of my parents are. They are so stupid it's incredible. 

What I don't enjoy is the self-sabotage I am doing as a result of this stupidity. It's still amazing to me, how low 3.0,3.5 developmental issues she has even lower. Although generally is 4.0 pluralist. 

I don't enjoy this women is a man destroyer to say this without a man legit it times. Very unappreciative and bitchy and feisty. Just says thanks you for providing it's a very low frame. I would sell both of my parents if I'd had the chance. I love my aunt and my grandma, especially my aunt. 

I know why she choose not to interact with these crazies. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

I don"t think my mother is strong enough. I don't enjoy some stuff. I don't enjoy it I at times wished my idiot metal type friend and me switched families. I am actually quiet chill, yet they never realized how much I enjoy the honest appreciation for what I did. 

I find this pattern also odd at times I just think my mother is a human ape, a good one... yet she really is an ape. 

It would be better if she had someone. The point is she does help, yet she just can't listen. She can't absolutely inept it's almost a joke to me now how sad that is with most it works perfect with her and one other stubborn horse. Not possible. 

I am very angry at the mixture of topics I am going through my head she just does not comprehend anymore and we don't vibe emotionally. She hides practical ideas and enjoys schadenfreude. If someone is a devil it's my mother. Not even a good one, just an average asshole like most. 

I don't enjoy her southern attitude. I am glad I am gone from this "moral high-ground" and influence to have peace. 

She always has been in denial of my emotional needs in favour of her own, what do I do? Without this asshole status comparement. 

Mostly working out spiritual energy it's insane how much I've been framed into status that my whole physiology reacts to it. 

Would you believe how many kinks I worked out with a dull cigarette smoking alcoholic? No this consumption was not normal. Not at all. How many healthy women like it? I wonder if I acted like an animal like she has been and denied it would be obvious. 

I am pretty sure, the more negative projections I get the more, the more I act them out. How many parents abuse innocence? 

My father is also bad at choosing women. I don't know the only one intelligent is my aunt. She legit also became way way more Liberian in a way, yet anti-trump. It's odd to contemplate how dumb, unhealthy liberal lifestyle of smoke and degeneracy is. 

Yeah sure but make it about my DNA and Andrew Tate as you have the privilege. No power for black men ever. Thanks for demasculation as a projection. Thank you for not making fun of yourself. You oh so perfect non-cynical being. 

I legit feel bad for the dude as I know how this happens, I am fortunate my father genuinely is a good guy, yet I would just never date someone like my mother, she is a righteous ass. It does so much ill energy to send this to a child. I bet this gave me points in psychopathy. 

I still lover her at some place , we just don't speak the same language. 

Love heals, she extracts it. She gives you peace as an emotion...great.... 

Edited April 18, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

Stuff is seemingly going well with women and dates, suddenly for some reason. I overreacted as usual when I am to much into this panic&alone zone. I never had that many possible numbers and lays. I don't enjoy the relationship to my mother and how this could shape the relationships in the future with other women. I hope we can deeply work on a foundation with the Dr.Keith Witt course. 

I am looking for efficiency currently, might as well delete the journal again. There is much wisdom in Deepak Chopra, stop racing against the times, set intentions that resonate with the universe, talk to it see what is beign brought back. My mother is truely toxic all I can say for now. I never like this family. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

I am grateful for more potential likes and that I can focus with small fixes on the loophole of efficiency
I am thankful for recognizing anger
I am thankful I can let go and notice and fully feel emotions and that I have new ideas about nutrition that are fundamentally just better and more long-lasting for me
I am thankful for realizing that I can breakthrough this stuff and meet women, also for healing feelings and the toxicity of rigid 9w1 
I am thankful for non nagging friends and people who accept me for who I am and are not changing me and want to change me.
I am grateful I will close this journal anytime when I feel it's a distraction, generally and also people who are not threatening me with status and very old fears that sabotage the sense of self-esteem because I am quiet vulnerable.

These projections that happen onto darker skin colored people are fundamentally very bad extremely damaging psychologically. If I can't be efficient with this journal I'll delete it. I still have an unmeet need at times of success. When I do cognitively better I will go of coffee I heal my system better this way usually and deeper. Right now it kills a lot of cravings for food, and that is a huge issue at times... 

I am denying myself also the joy of small wins, because of bitter non-positive trained asses. Also this finger-pointing mentallity of my family. I am just letting go of mostly stuff, it's not easy for me to balance all of this new input. I'd like to get back to an internal feeling of feeling successful, well and secure. Not be psychologically attacked from people who miss serious education, the level of stuff that I am doing is incompareable to the jest of a joke, what these lower level universities to from a theoretical standpoint, obviously I see why a conscious Ph.d has more value. 

You don't stop diagnosing stuff you have no clue and idea about, most energetic damage has been done by my mother. I mean this generally, with far-diagnosing types of people with me, it's a huge backstabbing type of help. 

Edited April 19, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

Briefly journaling  before meditating, I went to the expose yesterday I did not enjoy the heavy status orientation. Currently i find it tricky, as I feel I am in this exploit, these status checks and beign seen as stupid and this mastery thing, I could let go of so much stuff I generated a new plan. That still fits massively into the old one, and I will just apply and see what I get after I graduated now. I also have to see how to network and make money and business contacts, my chinese friend was quiet good, yet at times from the outside it feels like he is treated as a ressource, as he goes to high-stakeholders who do not respect him fundamentally, he does not see that as well, he really is odd.

What I can say, also here is mostly that just networking and creating does me way better to not loose track and I gain a lot of confidence, getting a lot of feedback I get very lost, when I don't have a lengthy and extensive discussions I don't see mistakes that easily, yet I overfocus on error... It's not easy to describe. Generally I am looking where to upgrade and optimize, and continue. See where I can min/max and read more about how f*edly orange most of the dating is again, I have 3 dates and or even 4 I don't know. This time it works out better, and I have to read these books from experience, they are even better than most of the infield videos, besides if you exactly go for these horny nutty women and also the toxicity of women and the denial of their devilry in a sense of the evolutionary characterstics higher order and developed women generally function a lot more holistically, so they give more feedback on the lower stages properly. The point is they all want a deep masculine big man, who can f them, that is what my essence checks, and of course stabillity financially.

I notice when I learned game, it's not about having the women, it's keeping other men at bay. That was the oddest inisght I had, as well as how tricky some stuff is to navigate. I basically will do some minor projects and continue studying. I did not properly upgrade to the liberterian mindset, and I did not integrate enough lessons from the good side of capitalism .... like my marketing professor clearly demonstrated and showed me .... he had the same issue as a "beign raised" in the marxist society, and the guilt sort of of not beign top level elite, yet having tried and underwent the process. The point is he wished he would not have fked his health that much I bet. 

I notice I can have some small leverage and cheaty ways to get status, for example I could buy an alcholc free beverage and it makes others more prone into believing etc. Subtle small things like this. I am not that great at communicating the value I could offer at times. As well as concentratively working on this stuff. They all also teach still visioning and envisioning mostly from all the success books. I gave up visualizing often, as expansion and contraction flow seems to work better and does not kill me as much.... I wish I could visualize and have the somewhat gurantee, yet there is still so much fear. This is just better to work energetically and take more practical planned endeavours, I still focus on generally thinking and re-framing mostly into the positive, INTP's are pretty insane creatures all I can say, very alien everytime I meet them and see them inaction.

Let's see how well this will go.....what I am currently learning and reflecting on, I still don't approach others and I don't do well with the guys who are to conservative when it comes to women, yet they steadily talk about it. The point is the merit and solving problems point, is something I have to nudge myself into with more physical strength and not only mental I can learn a lot of things better I find. 

I also feel I would do better in America, as they projected America on me, yet I never acted it out, yet the Americans react to it, it's very very odd!!! 

They humanely also frame energy onto me very often, working with expansion and contraction flow is very good I could be closer to visionaries, and get some practice and bouts of it in from time to time. I also am consuming some borderline pick-up stuff, that I don't enjoy, yet it's pretty good content and the success thing I can visualize more.... focusing on efficiency.... I could plan do and still trip etc. 
----
I notice the stupidity of conservatives, when you are open-minded it's very obvious and it somehow has to stem from a level of self-conviction beyond my current belief. I see and notice many things, it's insane I feel like we have one of the first normal cases, where a.i can make the world beautifucl for a severly handicaped person, which benefits the joy of community by sheerly existing. I saw one more severly handicaped person, it's insane. I'll take this stuff now a bit more seriously, especially the health ideas that are relavtively cheap. As well as study and learn a lot! This is fundamental to everything.... and simply apply find out the information and work my way up in that sense, what I miss is fundamentally this beign a linchpin I only had this once in my life. This is what I find very difficult at times, I might be overrating and undervaluing myself very often, which is a very tricky endeavour.

Currently dating and the emotional damage I have unearthed and detected is the the biggest and most curious thing. Also with some office politics etc. I do have to read about power, it's heavy how far even the most conscious people go to co-opt their status and I generally can let go of it, yet I notice how some other stuff with reputation just hurts. I mostly then focused on becoming simply better for myself and focus on the image I am generating and not they/them. 

This is still a good policy. As I have no control over this. Beign human is a weird experiene all I can say, I wish I would be a biologist . This is it as a reflection today. The point is by following results maker and these videos I noticed how much they sacrfice, and this is one thing I tried my best in and failed at times. To not get bullshitted, still make contacts and work with the best stuff, and see the sincerity in others. 

I do have to apply more and work on confidence, in some way and or another even more and be even more narccisitc. Just practice a lot the point is my "played narccism" etc. Scores me girls I fundamentally now feel I would simply use for sex, so she deleted me stage purple type of dates are very bad. Very very bad. Last piece of info.... it's insane how low the information is beign consumed for some etc. etc. etc.

All I can say for now is I choose the right niche, the salary is pretty I am just now at a very odd point of technical integration. I notice how much some the gut feeling of myself is saboatging things and it's mostly about health etc. It's interesting to learn from conservatives, yet they are exploting like hell at times, and currently the liberterian side of "dating with so much orange" I can ironically have a healthy relationship with them, even energy wise. The biggest issue is getting started and not totally letting my health destroyed by having to fit in etc. 

I do have to see and apply for a lot of things.... I just don't know what works even the best of planning will not save me in any way, it might even obstruct the process.... 

Unsure what to currently say here. Besides that I have to integrate some status conscious shadow again with lower class and health and see how to work around this, and also build confidence. The point is getting the same remarks over and over in a social setting and not responding playfully with it to be more confident. Re-direct the intent, and play with this boosting my EQ sort of. I will let go of that more.

It's ironic why I also choose exactly red haired and blue eyed people at times on this love map thingy, it's insane as one guy was a real asshole when I befriended him and I generally get better vibes here. The point is now moving more into the body and beign confident, the injury caused some insecurties and unique challenges etc. I can now get more insight etc.... 

I'll post the meditation result, I also check Owen Cook at times I notice he is a fan of Leo 100%. It's odd, yet the point is I have to integrate a liberterian way of things not conservative, that is the tricky part and unique... I've meet to many conservatives.

[ValiantSalvatore]

Again briefly I am reading these liberterian books, and see how far I can go it's odd to read this stuff, and I don't enjoy as much the switch towards freedom&autonomey, and how heavily these things are not working into a favour when I listen to Leo it's mostly about confidence and approaching I don't know some of this stuff seemingly let's me be more free. I find it odd to read & apply this stuff. 

The point is I already get 10's on online, the frame is just extremly bad and it's better if I get 10's from other plattforms at times, it's heavy legit also these rating for a simple business shooting insane with 30 votes... very good.... it's just currently the competence thing and mastery, physical mastery and being full embodied. Some women I creep out, I do have to look at how I am creeping out some girls, they even let me get away with it and it's mostly this neediness, contractive stuff and fear. Fear is a huge damaging force.... 

The point is it's heavy crazily heavy, how I have to read this disgusting stuff and look at it. It's insane how wrong I've screwed that perspective and why just beign alpha is enough, I did not realize it. How healthy that mindset is as a man. As well as how far I'll have to create this stuff, also how others already see me as alpha and masculine I don't notice it! My congruency is so off, feedback is so valueable, also I don't know how to work on these ends that well. I'll read the book and focucs on getting some shots in.

That is mostly it, I could work on higher ends simply. I feel guilty at times and focus to much on reassurance.

[ValiantSalvatore]

Did the 30 minutes of meditation I notice several things I went quiet deep into relaxation, and how this pattern is associated to success and beign very confident. I notice how society is largely helping me in a sense, besides the few who make fun of this childish status game, when they are not serious. I am just unsure how I can life my live when this happens.

It's heavy that the majority of people look for faults that can be overlooked, this also is not easy to seek feedback that is not hurtful and or offensive. I am more attuned to my body now, also it's just I remember so much traumatic and painful stuff. 

I am grateful for feeling emotions fully and beign more present within my body
I am thankful I could be absolutely perfect in the eyes of god just the way I am
I am thankful I rceive chances and opportunities by networking and beign forthcoming and friendly, as one of the principles of how to make friends and influence people
I am thankful that I received positive feedback on the business photo
I am thankful that I dated and went out very very attractive women from an liberterian standpoint 7-8's and receive likes from 9-10 level women and 8's. 
I am thankful I worry less asnd that my mother is supporting me again, also when others are not playing status games with me and we're truely open. 

It's heavy how to not make this political, and how well kept these secrets are in a sense. What I also feel andd notice is how much I seek recognition. As well as how much money, I can save when I network and implement the idea myself this car drive was expensive as fuck, I could have bought a train ticket for 49€ and visit the entire country of Germany.  I am also saving a lot of money etc. What I currently do not enjoy. Is how expensive life still is and hunger....,also how that framing cost me a lot of success etc.

For efficiencies sake, I could simply do all of what works and improve what works. and work currently on these things I did.... 
I could simply prepare better with more efficiency even.... I am just not happy currently with all the injury etc. and not beign as connected to god anymore.... 

Edited April 20, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

What I can currently type and perceive as what is, is simply that I could calm down more I am even angry at the fact that humans like me at times, and I don't enjoy at times how much I negotiate with people in a sense. As well as how difficult it is to buy healthy products that are cartonage in Germany, most stuff is for self-cooking, I could eat it efficiently, yet I just notice how much of an egotistical ass I've become and some even give me the advice to be like this, it benefits me also a lot where I otherwise perceive missperceived ills. The point is it's still my fault to some level. I could act less emotional, yet the injury and hunger makes it difficult. I walk oddly and people notice this, they did very early I could have gotten this operation way way earlier.

What I do not enjoy as well as do enjoy is how I am beign so emotional as of lately, as I seemingly lost and changed so much, and I notice I am changing more, as I am more egotistical than ever in a sense. I am not happy about the status that I have in society, and how it is sort of demanded and undeamended socially is very taxing, it's not as taxing in a high status friendship and group. Yet I feel like even the things that I've learned and should give me a 100k+ salary in America is just not wanted? I dunno what to think of as lately and currently. 

I am to focused on getting laid, there are very attractive women and I just don't feel like I am there for a full-fleged relationship, as well as even lay at times. I am hurt sort of at this. Even when people are very positive and optimistic, I somehow am frustrated with how the products of this country, and just also the odd collectivist pull. As well as how hungry I am most of the time, so I have to performed halfly starved still, even when I cook etc. Fruits generally help me a lot and nuts, mostly fruits though.... I don't enjoy how I notice the unconsciouness of humans. As well as how I might just am sabotaging myself, yet it's very painful for me to be so friendly and rejected I honstely don't consciously expect anything, yet subconsciously I don't know what is happening and at times it's very odd. I could simply ditch all theory and just say, be confident, life a healthy life, and take some hits and create and set in place your vision. 

My seeming issue is the following, the social game is very enjoyable to me, and I miss beign connected to god and seen as alone and lonely... I am so happy alone.... it's for me still odd. I still have this needy shadow energy that somehow was enacted from some point. What I do not see currently is how many endless traps there possibly are, and how far I sabotaged myself because of energetic subconscious fear of this society and the southern Germans in America etc. 

This journal is again very bad, I just don't know at times when I continue and continue... especially the last two days I slept 4h because of networking.... I can still do some work...., yet I can't eat then  I get to tired. What I can do is meditate and share stuff here. Use it to my mental benefit and am not letting myself be distracted by to much of this though love attitude, this caused plenty of wounds I on my own accord venture into this pain. 

I just don't know what to think of current stuff, it's not really what I hoped how stuff is going to happen, and I don't know what personal end to work on, all I know is today I will sleep early, because of 4h of sleep and study tomorrow. The distraction of beign on and in this journal is often surmounted, by the pain and inabillity to enjoy how superficial I can be. I integrated a lot of this through shadow work. I just don't find what I am resonating with deeply, what I can say so far is. 

I still love and enjoy coding, the health thing is by far the most mentally challenging thing.... next week


 

[ValiantSalvatore]

To many events... I dunno what to think and learn. I legit have no idea what I am doing...

Free 700€ ticket....

I legit gave my best to follow advice of people who did not directly hurt me. Right now saying no and doing the stuff is extremely important. 

I decided the next 3 month trajectory and I never networked like this. I would benefit from solid game a lot! 

Efficiency.... let's see and applying... I am in an odd space. With a lot a lot of opportunities. 

Edited April 20, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

Brief post here to review the latest additions to my ontologie, as I am getting into a more healthy space slowly especially after going out and the doctors appointment.... what I did was insane. I barely had anyone with enough empathy, I can ask tomorrow for a direct and brief text game review. Upgrade photos with a free tfp shooting, today ask my friend if he can shoot a cool picture eventually here even. The optimization part of online dating is extremely fun to me. 

Some mindsets I had were right, with not sleeping with girls where I'd loose self-respect. I did say no to two relatively attractive women even 3 in a sense till now, which apparently shows character I do agree, I don't think sleeping with unhealthy people is intelligent. It's like the current disrespect of smokers intuition and this health and hygine spectrum. I fundamentally can focus on upgrading my text game, as well as working longer hours. There is some negative influence, yet I saw I can be inspiringly delusional, as it sometimes helped me when I see this and I enjoy solo "outworking others" I currently legit lack a very good mindset even after reading a couple of books. About success, I could have created more pet projects, I did mostly course and thought about going the professional route with certificates. As well as network more. I don't ultimately know what is holding me back, it's mostly not having full health and beign able to test more things, and balance going fast and slow at times. 

Personality/Character review

• Take it slower when you talk to people at events, the business photo review showed me people really have to think I am extremely/very competent. I would get 10/10 in a suit I bet. 
• Me beign so likeable, craves the desire to be even more liked by others, these happens in many areas. I let go of it etc.
• I somehow have a trigger at purple stages of pick-up I might take play for reality out of fear of manipulation
• I get angry when people like me, when I am angry, I usually calm down when I know someone that at least knows me

Health Review:

• If this current thing works, I can eat on a relatively cheap budget healthy and enough, I am lacking more options for frozen fruits in stores
• Exercise is fine I am making progress each week, by strength beating older pr's
• Sleepiness and continuity is an issue especially having a calm and more calmer nervous system
• L-Tyrosine is not really having any benefits, Ashwaganda might be better for a more calmer nervous system

Practical Review:

• Potential car check, if this thing breaks all is lost, it really sucks to have only women in my family it seems so delusional to listen to them because it is not made a concrete reality, it sucks how many lessons are lost even till today.
• I somehow lack the abillity to interconnect smaller things, I go to broad mostly, I don't know enough options ironically.
• Freedom&Autonomey value is having new effects

Uni Review:

• It is often co-opted by the statuts type relationship and sexual bullying, as I have to seem so perfect by others, and I notice how humans are very intelligent, yet stupid creatures it's like some base instincts are just true.
• Note taking, flow notes, practice and a tablet for better mind-mapping principles and life-long learning

Anything else this week?

The biggest obstacles is continuing with projects and not overdoing it, similarly to jugeling, if I reduce to much stuff I don't feel I am using my potential I am narrowing stuff down, people want me to exercise, yet very basic exercise at times is not as fun...I would benefit tremendously if I could play the drums right now, yet family had to co-opt ????

Anything else about efficiency? Ashwaganda for anti-stress. Better planning for dates find a few bars to switch venues for dates 2 for each possible city. Give your best to be more narrow-minded I see so many loopholes, move more into body with exericse and feel flow type meditation. Let go of what others notice more, I can't breath properly at times because of my scar and other humans notice every non-harmonic event. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

Jesus, I hope this place somewhat stays normal, I currently can't deal with mental ilness types, I don't have anything that is the annoyance.

Meditation feedback I notice how much I could benefit from a swtich of visualization and expansion&contraction flow. I don't have a deep spiritual practice if I don't do 1h and my life is to hectic currently, to do 1h solidly with events. I could also sprinkle 10 minute visualizations between breaks, where I feel off. I really wanted to test the peak of human abillity, the liberterian stuff gives insight into stuff. I integrate conservative side, a lot and I am still doing it. 

So I will switch I don't know if this will work, yet I need some stable flexibility between visualization and expansion&contraction flow. Otherwise I will not have spiritual breakthroughs, when I get some sex with a partner this is also more stable. Anything else?

I am grateful for sexy psychologist liking me in general
I am thankful I can feel my sexual desire for a women more fully when she is a psychologist
I am thankful and grateful that I optimize the happy and search for feedback
I am thankful that I can enjoy optimization and upgrading 
I am thankful I can focus more on efficiency and solve problems faster through practice, going slow might have been incorrect from the beginning go slow and fast.
I am thankful I am going out with the game guys tomorrow and that I can learn from them, I see the principles in action.
I am thankful for having 3-5 potential dates one scheduled etc. 
I am thankful that I am taking care of proper stress levels etc.

Anything else? 

I'll have to see how I do with coffee and if I quit it. See what the doctor says.... I'll continue now and switch with visualization and expansion and contraction flow, I could visualize in breaks at least 30 minutes, so I get enough hits of it. As well as legit meditate 60 minutes a day, more optimization based etc. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

There is no lecture today, I did not realize. I can practice math the whole day finally.... anger is currently the biggest obstacle by far. This is fundamentally it.... It might not have been.

Leo is a pretty good marketer ngl. The life purpose course still has tremendous value that I can't find anywhere else. Just by recommendations and the core of it. There is one cheaper version I found that helps, yet the focus here is on originality.