Reflections Flow, Expansion&Contraction

[ValiantSalvatore]

I am now here, I definitely have to use zen meditation types to reduce pain, the level of pain I experience while I work on this stuff can be to nauseating for me. I chilled a bit to this, might have another lay. 

All in all I will see .... 

56:00

I hope I get rid of more negative energy... 

Cheesy morning edit. Minimization focus, I generally see what I am doing wrong I just have to keep my word more often stuff does not matter as much when I get direct advice, and proper order changes stuff simply. 

Currently I'd say academia people are subtely more corrupt than the game type of people I've meet. Will post meditation session did not go early gym session because 3h sleep. 

Edited May 12, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

55 min meditation, I am slowly re-gaining all power and I am not denying power anymoe in any given cirumstance where I don't yield a profit and see potential gain and / or I am minimizing a loss. 

Talking to others who get a lot of women, gives plenty of insight, I most likely won't do to well with not 90th percentile open women. This session was not as good as I had an early coffee as well as I wasted time and noticed, when I built and get support like this I don't need a family.... I am partially forced to digitize myself, for better connection. I'll start the week & the day, and focus heavily on creating and order. Creating & order etc. As well as see hot girls and beautiful girls, I will take the ass*kissing word currently women & even men to an extend out of my vocabulary it causes to many lower order types of notions. So that girl and even boy might do better as it has a more positive proper memory lane. 

All in all context is 100% of game I notice, as well as even wisdom in acting with action. The point is also simply getting better at attracting women, yet there is often one & or two toxic guys who just overdo it. 

It's since they cleaned up the thing men group I can find to get instant practical advice, I would not even call it game. Simply getting better with women, it's legit legit we finally get the orange to yellow pill, as many are academics. 

I don't know much about evolution, yet agendas are at odds, at lower developments, I don't like to be a socialist pro-creation machine that sees it's entire value in sacrificing for the community by creating children. I don't enjoy this subtle undercurrent about more "naive type" older germans, who frame survival as either this or that. The and thinking is missing. You can have beautiful relationships with children, I am convinced especially when I see yoga classes. 

I am grateful for having done yoga
I am grateful for finding more strength
I am grateful for creating more order
I am grateful for the opportunties I've received and that I can finally do more mathematics and that brilliant and other webpages are recommended then solely books
I am grateful Leo chills a bit with the extremism, it's not like in the early 90's 2000's anymore, stuff moves fast and is beign cleaned up massively, it's mostly creating and applying, applying both more higher order and more lower order thinking. 

I hope Leo creates some massive intellectual red line to follow, intellectually I still notice this is psychological dominance and can get me laid. I also yearned for this connection, so let's see how far I can re-trace this and bring it back. 

Edited May 12, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

It's odd contemplating my existence I wanted to visit the guy, briefly before I left my hometown he just suddenly blew up, yet I was injured I could have never gone to this and train a bit like a shaolin monk, it was simply not possible. 

Went to the gym today, was able to hit some pr's with the current machines, my back has to be growing in some sense, as I don't notice to much of stuff. 

I don't fully watch this, it's odd to see how odd my hometown is it's like a double 8w7' type existence with choleric tendencies like Andrew Tate & I can digest some stuff of this, I did also not dig deep and self-discipline. Selbstbeherrschung is one key concept that definitely fits with my hometown, as it's soccer club even has a devil icon, you won't see more self-disciplined fk*ed stuff than in this town. Military, A.I institutes, 8w7' culture legit it's like an alien rock. 

Still a lot of beautiful nature... a lot!!! 

---

It's also impossible to get the liberal out of me, and I see at times why the arrogance is there, as there is a deeper yearning for truth. The point is americans just vote based on emotions. It's funny how rational animals are still the better hamsters.

Let's see it's interesting to notice how online opinions sway even in small sub groups. I am approx at 70% full capactiy of what I can do I am buying some practical things, at times the mindset I have is the biggest issue. It's also good to have a stronger political middle section here, the game group I am in is less toxic at times than this forum, they are tough biased by Orange&blue development. 

When I am built they either are enforcing their centrist ideas, and turn more slightly liberal or they just turn completely I dunno hope I can just get some muscles in etc.

Edited May 12, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

55 min meditation, I feel overall more stability. I got kicked out because of the timer. I notice also why I followed Leo and read his comments so often at times, firstly because of shadow work and moral justice, as well as desire to be "deeper" etc. The other part is the liberal feeling for a love of life and liberation in this, we had digital imprint as I noticed how unreflected socialists, are just the definition of sheep&pigs. Also the ressource hoarding power games and one-up-manship, as well as the solution to all of this was liberation, yet I see why capitalism etc. Is so important, I do have to see if I can get some independent contracts after doing some app coding, yet I am more of a big company career type. I'd like also to do some counsling etc. As my presentations receive so much positive feedback, let alone feedback at all! Imagine others are so dry they don't even get feedback. 

They all looked at me after my presentation with wide-eyes as I learned this mindset partially from watching the talking head a lot, as well as the presentations I had to hold during my bachelors very often. I am very keen on body langugage, so I don't turn it into a sychophantic debauchery and dismiss all principles that make an awesome presentation. 
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I am thankful I meditated today and that the weather is clear
I am thankful my boosts gave me more matches and one attractive girl.
I am thankful I matched a super-hot loving girl, even if we did not chat
I am thankful for the sexy black girl for hooking-up almost instantly, same as the sexy girl from Syria.
I am thankful for asian matches and that the lust&desire spectrum here is very strongly on and the enjoyment of psychosexual dominance and bonding, it's insane how enjoyable that is.

Brief reflection on techinque: I am back to the roots, with expansion & contraction implementation, I never noticed how much this grounds me, as visualization does work, yet it's not as grounding for me, especially with exercise I integrate many ends, in the end it's all the activities I do. The 3-2-1 process helps enormously even if it's not the deepest work, I'll loose my mind if I go to deep and control, which is not good I noticed, that is a very good and clear insight. I don't think others want this, as well as I feel more immune to all the stereotypical notions and can focus on a stronger more clear & mascuilne frame etc. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

I am on the phone, so I won't type smth. super deep I check some stuff, I just have different channels for learning and it shows me two sides of hypergamy if it gets to crazy I am out. 

Especially to right-wing. I also feel this zen meditation makes me more immune to stereotype threatening, especially from cultures who elicit these types of sympathetic responses. 

I am still glad I meet my new conservative friend, it's odd how many care about hygiene and harmony. I ate way to much sugar I'll look into some lifting stuff and visited Germany's only German owned NFT Gallery. It was interesting. Germans tech is still far behind u.s.a very far. 

Musk I feel like owns this planet...more psychologically speaking...

Also these dumb human panic birds are so fling disgustingly stupid. They just can't stay calm. One girl pushed me back as I was unsure if they wanted to enter the tube, it was some low-brow types who think they are important. I somehow loose at times the dignity and respect. I did not even do it out of greed, after this as she had such a wanna be boss pussy and acted like a psychopathic narcissist some other girl or man pushed her. And they all acted as if their pushing etc. Etc. 

I got internally pretty angry that they owned so much space and acted like they are the most important creatures and the way they talked revealed everything to me. The chick was annoying as she was contradicting herself without noticing and I did not enjoy her attitude. She could at least give a reason a bet there is a word for this matyr? She seemed like a matyrer choleric 4w3 might be off.

 

Went to Japantag realized I've been there once already. I have to move countries soon... I just crave nature.... Maybe I am more animal than I thought I did not like how humans are so dumb in masses omfg. They can't take it slow I wonder what goes through the head of a cluster of 10 individuals in such crowded area, why they even panic and Push. I was a vulcano I was so glad someone expressed their anger also in terms of order. Gosh anyway I am sleeping...

[ValiantSalvatore]

1 min till team meeting did a 45min session approx, I can't do more at times, I need a higher income for deeper sessions and a camera my vision is 90% complete basically from the life purpose course I don't really have the time to create a new vision board, as well as give a deep reflection. 

I digested 50-70% of the imprinits from yesterday. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

I lift the promise for weekends, on Sunday mostly. Not Saturday!!! 

[ValiantSalvatore]

What I fundamentally wanted to briefly write about is dating & how I have new motivation for it as I deeply yearn to integrate deadlifts and I see how "subtely offensive" non-blacks act at times, that is one of the most serious observations I have made as well as how seriously needed good moderation is of these channels. I really have a huge motivation for this and I just plan for this accordingly to put the motivation into proper use. I also don't care as much, especially I find it tricky to open my heart to the possibility of creating a family and this stage blue regression, that I don't fully enjoy because of how deprived these relationships seem. 

I also don't feel I find a girl on my attraction level physically, I do look better, otherwise these girls would not even go for me and I would get 0 matches, the point is I am very unsatisfied when a girl is not attractive to me and this will also hurt her long-term, so I do have to see. 

That was one important thing to mention for me, I also notice how hard my trailblaizing needs to be, uping my style and digital print & artwork and interest, maybe I am also just a replica, I can't otherwise explain why I do have a pull towards more creator type personalities. Yeah this is also it fundamentally. I seriously have to build my body and create new picturs otherwise I will be so unsatisfied even with good matches, I don't find the women I am very fking attracted to, like the one I just saw. I do enjoy raw sexual pleasure. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

I feel the interconnectivity might finally happen, also stuff get's cleaned. That is good it seems like the organizer of the group takes a liking into me, and Leo warned me from the mystery method, and the german guy also just likes the more "normal crazy" purple stuff that could help understanding the east more and let's say evaluate properly. Not neccesarily understand. I finally also established structure I am at times toxic, as I never felt so fking physical weak, as this issue is at the same side as my scar, usually I just ignored, yet I can absolutely snap like a snapping (snapper) turle, I am usually pretty chill and meditate and digest, ideally I can start stretching etc... I don't think the Yoga is fittable currently I did one exercise, it's not possible. The strechting though is possible. 

I am still secretly a Leo agent, I dunno also the gentleman stuff is just a cuckhold currently feeling wise, in a more blue "liberal" language if I am not wild and free, you miss out 100%. 

Edited May 14, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

The shadow work today is also missing, for the weekend this is immensely important. The new zelda games also seem wild, yet I am no where near getting that level of play in simply because of finance and I seriously would need to leave to this U.S... was also another reason I do enjoy gaming culture, I just never felt I could embrace it fully. Playing one video game, then shadow work then gym, then super-vision. I hope I can create a new vision board in the summer time. To go with a plan for 20 years, I was WAY WAY to short sighted I should have created a plan for multiple lifetimes... legit I dunno how else to say, not making billions, yet create a 20 year is

Alrighty will do 30 minutes to 30 minutes. Hopefully and do proper shadow work and talk to the coach at the gym. We are multi-leveling! Multi-Visioning!!!!! 

Damn Son where did you find this , I hope this will all work. No idea how I can close to 40 get girls and enjoy playing video games that is such a cheat. I am jelly! 

Edited May 14, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

30 min shadow work I hope I can get to 1h reading after this and then gym.... I am pretty late as well as I did not plan the week and I have to print some stuff. Overall the insta connections do make it seem better. The telegram group is stupid at times and ironically it's mostly eastern people who bring up race talk and "right-wingish" type symbolists things, I don't enjoy it to much. It's not really my humour I do get help, yet it's a bit annoying. Some stuff is a bitter relative truth I've also made, yet I make sure to not get sucked into these groups. It's also mainly white russian types.... and people with some serious developmental trauma, smokers & cannabis users. As well as all of them combined. 

The main issue is stage blue 100%. It's the most annoying stage as it only value work, and nothing but work and money at times. I can't call my mother... I really want to move the conervativsm of many foreigners here and how it all accumlates here is bothering DD, where I went yesterday is better. It's fundamentally fine, yet it's not the best development at times although I am learning. 
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Now I should not waste a second... I might have underestimated how much time I truely have. I find it tricky to enjoy what I used to enjoy.... I am in an odd space. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

30 min shadow work I won't to coding the one video game was already a horrendous idea, it costed me to much time and nerves to play it. 

I called my mother for the meditation thingy, the point is even if the leader of this group is multicultural, these people are such armchair experts. I am glad that I am German to an extend, maybe this people are stupid and panic prone, yet they are at least somewhat more mentally non-toxic. I hope I get to shadow work otherwise I post-pone it to tomorrow I'll talk to a coach at best today and just get my workout in. etc. I need some music and clear headed space...

I am a bit overburdened with what I still enjoy in life, when I do what I used to enjoy I don't get it, and at times it's loads of negativity to have a stage yellow & or turqouise girlfriend without any bias etc. Is extremely difficult. I just continue to build body and career, I dunno... I work in a smaller area and interconnect as much as I can possibly... 

They also can't seem to find someone for their team I could up my resume, with more projects simply and stop hesitating, the issue is it's legit about seconds and minuts that is why I am so pissed at times. 

Somehow this song is also getting to me.

Eventually I have two dates... 

Although I am not as satisfied with most likely integrity and truth, yet I dunno I feel partially like I've sold my soul as I had no one to care about it properly I barely enjoy what I used to enjoy anime culture, video games, beign a nerd etc. 

I am unsure if I am seeling myself or that I am real, as these are partially karmas I am burning I've alwaysed loved women I might have put them on a pedestal to much, yet I also received tons of attention from women till today, I just don't sell myself well. My marketing prof said the same, I am not the best at presenting myself.... because of shadow etc. I am now here all in all vision is vine, yet I just sometimes struggle with stuff, at the end I am taking plenty of action, I am just scared of the level of complexity of some lectures so I can't waste to much. I also give myself not to manipulate, the point is I might loose myself. 

I just legit should create what I yearn to create, I wasted a lot of time, and I am giving my best not to manipulate and play with desire, the point is even the most average guy manipulates more than me etc. 

I find it tricky. The irony I had today... was I need to be more a lot more masculine to get into feminity. I had such high expectations. 

 

Edited May 14, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

This is also somehow such a hot topic riches, and incomes and property and all of this stuff. I feel I am not happy if I don't enjoy a high salary, and I don't know how much health I find with the injury... I'll listen to an audiobook today instead in the gym and post some stuff, as I was unable to read and share stuff on insta... it's tricky to be real and make an income with this that is highly profitable etc. Germany does not pay shit. I don't know at times NRW is super fake to some level. I hope I just find some higher income realness... that is not to gangster... and not to feminine and family friendly.... 

[ValiantSalvatore]

The point is the be real and follow truth, I do manipulate for utter survial when I can't help it and I won't care I legit will not care, I've been in fked situations and I don't have the best opinion of humans themselves. I certainly would enjoy some power fantasies. For fun not to make it real just like an action move hero in my own life. 

Anyway I am gyming and posting an audiobook in my story. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

Deepak Chopra has been helping me  a lot recently. Ironically... he is the same type as Kollegah in the enneagram. Well almost.... 

[ValiantSalvatore]

The point is somehow the signs in my life show me I should be filthy rich for no reason... besides that I am humble to some level and don't care as much ... etc. etc. etc. Listening to ABundance No review here I am out for the week till stunday... 

[ValiantSalvatore]

Will not get to proper shadow work. I am tired and will sleep. I will not post much, yet I need a good friend there are so many issues I see because of this dating&pua stuff. It has no end.... 

I just don't enjoy the purple pill the most, that is the worst pill elitist type of games manipulation and games, I enjoy honest elitism... not non-integrous health flashing. 

I dunno it's annoying to deal with this and also the notions of others etc.... I just feel like I would benefit more from doing and not posting her even weekly the two posts I wrote costed me so much time... I don't get much enjoyment anymore from journaling as I feel I can't fully embrace who I am at times... 

There are not real secrets. That is the truth, it's mostly upgrading life style and get a better picture etc... These dudes in the telegram are so toxic, and it's barely worth it to stay they just help you to get laid, I am relatively immune to this talk as it shows me also to stay away from and how to engage truely with all people. The point is some of them legit are traumatized legit all besides me and the German dude... me more most likely... seem way more normal. Yet this is oddly crazy. 

I did not feel happy because of various things and also the normal more normie culture stuff, I am sleeping I miss somehow.

I miss some higher consciouness stuff I am legit acclimatizing etc. Sleeping don't enjoy it at times. Leo's episodes all have tremendous value I dunno what else is happening I don't interact much with the guys there close to everyone there has prejudices and does not care to change it. 

Edited May 14, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

I dunno I hope things move towards love... etc. I can't control myself at times with all the status comparssion and stuff, I can't touch this trauma also and I sort of sense why my old psychologist went slow, as I would snap completely and end someone or something. I don't enjoy how on average prejudiced society is etc. 

I'D really would appreciate a heavy hitting episode, yet right now it's all practical I am fine just the classical issues beign more on time food & stuff. I might leave the forum, yet I get a lot of revenge feelings at times for Leo because of Schadenfreude I don't enjoy it I prefer legit appreciate a stage blue relationship to the guy the red stuff I might only be able to enjoy with black and asian people somehow but w/e. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

29 minutes meditation, I do gotta say that the meditation and dating apps generally wake me up, as well as instagram for challenges etc. I don't know why. It might be because it's less toxic than many other human driven plattforms. I thought about how to improve and thought about making another promise to myself, as this seems to work as childish as it may seem. It's like I am giving myself and apprecaite my own masculine energy. I will post only twice a day max, and use this plattform fundamentally as a spiritual plattform for spiritual growth and the journey of it. 

So not a lot of other talking points as I don't seem to find the right bonds often. That is it. I will drink one coffee & clean my appartement and relish and enjoy this decision. I have a date and I will fully focus on making promises and stickign to schedules and doing stuff on my own. For example to be on time and also creating more fun, order and construction I noticed yesterday I have more joy creating a career than playing a video game, all of this energy is over and not fully present.... I hope that I can turn the girl if she fits the RGB spectrum into a girlfriend if not. It's fine I am all over also. 

That is it. Will clean my entire appartement and do mathematics what they recommend as well as continue with that and schedule the entire week finally again. I am also super horny and found tricks etc. The book on a womens anatomy is also good. As well as go grocery shopping today. 

This is the last promise I can make I found very good spaces, now it's about implementation & balance as well as going to the gym 4 times a week. Stuff that triggered me again prior to Leo is alpha male mentality and ego and genetic superiority concepts from blond, blue eyed and girlfriend acting like a hoe. 

No a cute garden hoe. She was not hot! Man's not hot also. Just Angeberei. 

Edited May 15, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

Drinking a coffee then cleaning my room, I listened to the abundance audiobook, yet there are so many conditions internally that are wrong, and also the story that I'll read for 1h on the weekend. I first create the online structure. I don't feel to well, yet it's getting better... 

The injury and panic and catastrophy thinking and the sudden outbreak of it is not the best. I sometimes feel I would be at an end if I would not listen to trance music.... it feels so fantastic and alleviates so much pain everyday... I can't stomach reading at times it feels like I get a beating after a beating after a beating of what I am doing wrong, even from more soft spiritual people and often it's simply not enough food etc. 

I fundamentally do not enjoy that my level of transcending is capped at going slower, due to injury etc. The preventative work is also very exhausting and I just have so much stuff constantly changign due to digitalization, corona, ilness, death, to tell that our generation are pussies is one horendously attrocious and uncompassionate thing to say. 

Fundamentally I feel a lot better, when I work on the projects that I have, yet I am post-poning and guilt tripping myself subtely because of stuff I wish I could share more success, yet it's tricky and I notice a process orientation is also feminine energy, all to much I dunno how to deal with this spectrum at times. 

Awareness is auto-currative and doing something with common sense about these issues is the best possible way to tackle them, the issue is the subtle gossip and shaming that happens at times. Also how bad the education system frames minorities, because they focus on comprehending & understanding Leo did also the same and he was first more about interconnecting and creating, I find also more girls in relationships could have this perception that it's about interconnecting and creating I feel coerced and I am not the sole purpose of your relationship I feel when I trust my intuition. Generally intutive girls who seem to get along better with me as they interconnect more also with other things for relationship purposes, be it nature, cats dogs etc. Yoga practice friendships the new concert XYZ and stuff like this not only the guy. 

I also feel since I hang out with this scum and I officalled called myself partially scum as you all go for it also, legit all of you can't believe it this is human evolution. No matter how you frame etc. It's part of evolution. The point is I don't know how far simple confidence goes, and girls who are toxic did attack me and single-motherhood did me do no favour. I still struggle also with masculine energy in a sense. The point is I yearn both feminine energy for healing and masculine energy for growth, some just go overboard just healthy counting and a handshake do more well, than bitter barking at stuff and achievment things etc. 

I also don't enjoy the attitude of many eastern and russian people I feel depressed when I hear them talk russian and I notice the bias in their words, just by an emotional tone. It's tragic for such a beautiful country, I really yearn also to integrate more the female side of myself, as I get more joy out of creativity at times in masculine domains... as it gives me an edge in originality. This is fundamentally it, I will create this now in the summer space and keep promisess to myself. I could need help, yet I can't afford much and stuff is also overpriced at times etc. 

I am on a good way when I contact the career service and ask for feedback and just do what they say, yet at times this is exactly where I feel depressed when I feel robbed of autonomy. 

Cleaning appartement I am meeting up with a girl from Tinder tomorrow 7pm. I keep promises posting twice only even on Sunday. As to much journaling just causes me to paralyze. 

I fundamentally confused something which is very good imo!!! I will also not run the risk and purchase low quality products anymore that is an extremly bad habit I have from my family. Especially my mother beign ridiculous stupid and cheap.

Edited May 15, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore