Reflections Flow, Expansion&Contraction

[ValiantSalvatore]

Decided I will visualize everything I am doing no excuses about this anymore I don't know where else to draw strength from currently with all the principles I've learned and read about and tested so far, this is as far as I can go. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

I'll do another session as I've been obstructed by an event that I can't partake in, I can also block the most toxic users on the app. The biggest smut are the IT nerds etc. This also helps the management stuff a lot and timing etc. Despite all injuries the vision happens right before my eyes and infront of me. 

I should not deny all the help that has been given to me. This is also the deepest inner game I can conjour. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

Another session these last bits and pieces give a lot of internal strength. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

Just been on a date, they are at least starting to clean this stuff up a bit. The date was quiet bad, to be frank in terms of just profile to real women. I did not find her physically attractive, yet emotionally appealing and it's really the issue of liberal type of thinking without proper and healthy spiral awareness. 

There was also a bitter women again who was 40 snipping socially subtely at messages, I am glad my date did not overreact because of how stuff is. It was really a nice hang-out, yet it's quiet obvious of why liberals are called degenerates at times, I even went to a place where it accidently was like this, yet a lot of liberals are here who are smart, yet they are not very intelligent in that sense about pragmatic and disciplinary choices besides a few this is heavy of forced this hear is. I react very badly of women who have issues with men and have had bad interactions with men, as I generally did not have them. It's mostly just the bitterness of the region where I grew up and the non-cynnical hardnock nature and the to soft sort of mentality of many. 

The date was fine, yet I did not find her attractive I still really can't be myself with "bitter german women" especially this does not work for one second how much I make fun of this country and complain this will never really work. 

My internet is super-slow and I somehow this group becomes cleaner a bit, as I am involved, yet it's not easy with all of this unawareness around the topic of biological evolution big picture and or small picture and how in older social types, the idea of having children and reproducing in a bit more "older socialists" is quiet heavy. I learn a lot by observations even when I denounce ego. The point is at one point it's enough I spot a lot of flaws be it in me own thinking etc. I noticed also again how I am at stage turquoise thinking at times, as well as how much I drift into the mind when the other person is not very knowledgeable/relatedable by experience, as a protective mechanism. When I zoom in to far, and be more present I would become very sexual very quick I notice this is a good observation overall. 

All in all I can say I hold the frame better, as I feel tons of anger against this country and I even curse to let go of it, because of how clowny it is. Also my internet is fked somehow. I'll look into an audiobook for non-violent communication, this was still a test for rascality the point is some humans are very snobbish. Even if they don't offer much value etc. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

Yesterday the date was certainly different then what I expected. She looked worse than her pictures by far that was the first time, it's also the issue of OkCupid that these people flaunt their abillities. What I certainly notice is the following. After the doctor talk yesterday, most don't care and just leave me alone, all of this happen for me mostly way to fast. I was gradually nuged through the academic system, and then the abrupt death and other stuff just caused stuff I don't know how to deal with because most mechanisms. Most of the offers don't quiet fit I had the same problem in Beijing etc. As it was mostly income etc. I don't like the merit to -> micer -> player -> bitter asshole -> bitter women mentality. 

I am learning some cool techniques for sure, the poin is I was close to a 9.5-10 on a dating fame, now I have a harder challenge to build and creat that especially with cooking I struggle a lot. Especially also without weight gaining products, I find it tricky to find ideas in German stores mostly I look everytime for new ideas and at so many products. I do have to pre-plan mostly. I will take some protein soy shakes... I don't know if my intuition is god-like at times.... and why I would not even need this group...., mostly I find it also odd there are some healthy frames. Yes I lost a lot of ego because looks do matter, confidence is the best thing etc. I will take this again as soy protein is good for arthritis generally having muscles and beign lean. I don't have the books anymore and dude I just need a 5-6 figure income for my size and body these cheap German bastards are not producing anything of my size and I often have to buy extra and specific at times my tiny toe is bleeding from walking around with converse. It's ridiculous how much shit I can do solo, simply because of body composition etc. 
---
The next thing I'd like to say is the following, development is real beyond real no matter how much work I've not done, the work I did cannot be undone. Many don't function from that space an academic girl regarldess if orange&blue can at least follow cognitively my leads. 

The next thing is also the following bad dates, are also great for any possible opportunity as long as I set the frame than logical, I can still leave when stuff get's to emotional she legit wanted to give me tips etc. Yet I noticed so many things.

• Status riles up her physiology like crazy, especially if she is 1-2 notches? earlier in the field
• Masculine features & beard are all very appreciated with a masculine look
• Nervousness died down, some other conditioning etc. 
• The advantages of dating orange and the advantages of dating green. 
  • The point about misunderstood yellow
  • The new book that I am reading and the stuff men did to me as well as using this all consciously mostly

The pressure I feel with all the other guys getting laid, while I know a lot of theory and can't put it into proper practice. How bad my friends are, in a sense and how much they help, how important common sense is also, also how good they simply are makes me crack how playful etc we are.

How real the lower stages function that includes Green... as well as how important that education is it should be introduced next to maslow. 

Dating topics during the date I did not prep so I went into logical mode etc.

• I would legit have asked her for business opportunities as she was not my type like not even 10% emotionally yes, physically no, intellecutally no, she was to much of a green housewive with not enough amibition of her own. I prefer to have someone who is more autonemous.
• I got triggered a lot by bitter women who are unable to pilot and adjust themselves in a relationship and are demanding wine drinking assholes, they are seeing their duty as a women from an evolutionary lense almost entirely and conflate it with the social lense. It's like they can't see beign human. The pont is I am like a bitter women then in some sense, as bitter men don't trigger me. Only bitter women. 
• The guts to even talk about these topics and say this I could make a quick segway into why I get triggered.
  • Potential and their inabillity to channel their potential and just be providers for humans instead of having a little fight, put a little resistance up please, otherwise it's so boring
  • Not having any hobbies and just socializing, you are healthy man! women! Fully functional do smth. you lazy asshole! Yes you lazy asshole!
  • Travelling etc. Photography, nature are all fine, yet take it a little more serious.
  • Lazyness of liberals is an anti-yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO AWAY if you are not healthy in food and exercise intake
  • Higher development women have a way way bigger heart 
  • Cognitive yellow+ and green is the best mix I could get, this was just Green/yellow it's not enough, even yellow orange works better in a sense

The vision updates that keep occuring and the business opportunities I am seeking in a sense by networking etc. This is what I feel about game also it's more about beign "street smart" without beign toxic, socially "street smart" a bit more business savy also. I feel this would come in handy to every business event for me. 

The new health ideas I have now based on the doctors insight and tiny research of just using protein shakes again, I hope this is mostly good I also enjoy doing research and investigations into this, to stuff I bought seems save, it barely has any extra ingredients etc. and I trained now 1 year consistently after the diagonsis without shakes... it's not possible to build these kind of muscle with German stores and how I need to eat. I basically have to create some mixes in order for it to function the best thing would be using pure soy beans, yet there are also issues etc. The point is diversity and variety to celebrated to higher levels just leves you alone, it will only most likely be possible in tech companies that really really embrace this stuff. 

I give my best to be more narrow. The main takeaway is constructing more interesting conversations, some of this stuff from these toxic guys is great. I bet even a women can learn some stuff from toxic women, yet they are legit cleaning up. That is what I find interesting. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

The game stuff really helps with the performance of orange point stuff, as most just celebrate the status success drive of orange from integral. Most academics will somewhat know what I mean, I do have to embrace this more.....

Also putting performance and excellence into Freedom&Autonomey. Value my time and others time more like I did in China, and present some exellent mvp's for example with 10-20h extra work stuff and an attitude likes this, and not women who take a player down and want to tame him for her needs, this will breed bitterness today is animal integration day, especially german animal. Devil swines. 

Edited April 29, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

I wish I could have caused that huge interconnection I was dreaming of. I don't know how close I'll ever get to it. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

This is mostly it I did it. Feedback in terms of visualization:

• Be as specific as possible with mantra/visualization main focus is archetype/ideal 
  • What did I do well? Focus on the feeling and "visceralization of the archetype"
  • Exact solution visualization for mathematical problems for example and the correction of mistakes
  • Latent awareness of physical ideals and goals and visions I wrote down
  • Strong desire to act
  • Overcoming of fear visualizations

This is mostly it I know have not many more excuses for not doing what I love. Will do shadow work session now after this eat one of these new mixes for muscle growth and say, HELLOOOOO HEALTH! Even when I am not fully there. Let's do the golden shadowish integration of shadow today. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

Shadow work 3-2-1 process:
What is happening we are taking a semi-golden shadow here again for the mixture of integration, this time this will also be more visionary I presume, so what is happening?

1.
It feels like an intrinstic lust of joy overwhelming for my body to compute
It feels like I am crowned by laurels and this energy does not pervade
It feels like a never ending construction process of perfection that can only be created by pure intentions and desire 
it feels there is a healthy sexual desire beneath the simply and easily accessible dark desire for sex and more brutish type sex
It feels like there is an animal in me that is wild rawr and does not care for reprecussions and is also infallible in it's abillity to be decieved, it's undeceivable (obsolete apparently)
It feels like there is a wild strength in me that goes beyond just beign human it is as if there is a pure visceral intention that loves to channel lust into higher dimensions
It feels like there is an abhorent drive for domination of others who act higher, yet are lesser and who put down your value it feels like I don't have the dignity of a man to take what it takes to be a man
It feels like there is a subtle undercurrent of insecurity and weakness to manipulate the value of others to increase my own
It feels like there is a strong desire to create an impact that is beyond what I currently get in women it feels like there is a disrespect from women in me, as to not live out my unshattering conviction that I am above them and you can't stop me from being above you if that is the case.
There is a dark desire to simply dominate space be it professor/high value guy/high value women, there simply is a dark desire for going beyond what I am perceived it, like beign an ueber animal, top dawg
It feels like there is a fear from acting out these desires because of inabillity to perceive social cues, which is not 100% true, and the subtle shaming of bitter single women who are not high value
It feels like overall this is an internal self-worth value integration from inside out and outside in
It overall feels like the beauty of having a vision is attacked my small minds who never even darred to dream big, hence no invites to stuff
It feels like the micer, player mentallity of beign small and greedy is preventing me from beign a huge animal, instead of beign a dirty rat I am a small mouse who adheres to rules and guidelines
It feels like there is a deep desire to pleasure women with my dick that I've been repressing like deep fking penetration to give her a big bang she'll not forget. 
It feels like there are animalistic drives for playing with the evolutionary side of humans instead of creating children there is a desire to toy and play with the energy and use it for other creationary purposes
It feels like there is a deep desire for integration the disciplinary side of beign an animal, a professional animal and engineer as software engineer a god turned animal, and an animal turned god.
It feels like there is a subtle enjoyment of overcoming with anger the power of anger channeld in a safe way
it feels like there is a desie to be big simply be big
it feels like there is fear in me to be a wild social animal that is playful and goes for what he wants as an emotional animal limbic brain and not a logical neocortex
It feels like there is a double animal in me as I am black as I am the devil only deserving the hottest the best the great women and power and to undermine them to exercise control (yes this is shadow work)
It feels like there is an animal within me that craves to be a lion on the pounce, a tiger on the move, a strong conviction that goes beyond perceived insecurities not only valor, courage and valiancy valiant
There is a deep strong desire to show valiant external behaviour and be rewarded and pleased for it, like a king getting his cock liked (yes this will happen) an realsing the inner animal and swine that he is.
It feels like I am a devil swine that will neutrally disseminate every piece and bits of pieces of status threat and gain status in a group

2.
Alright this was a lot of observations I don't even know what is true about this anymore, as well as time is running in a sense for a project. I did not think I would notice so much karma/intentions. What is your gift what your you showing me?

I am showing you the integrative side of beign an animal upsides and downside, obviously you idiot had to choose the most difficult path, yet at least you're trained and have experience, so you might travel lightly, notice how there is another deeper pattern of deterministic patterns that you did not touch. That is my first gift, you neglected this raw animal power, ambition desire, social domination, god like feeling call it what you want visceral touch for way way to long, you DID NOT EVEN BUILD ON IT; You have power and you take it away from you out of fear of compassion and looking evil? You see how careless these neutral fuck swines are, you can call them by type, by name mostly it's only the intutives that have a somewhat caring level of compassion and love to you, don't you notice?

Well I think we're kind of going astray. No we're not you clearly lack the abillity to enjoy working through disciplinary events did the date yesterday not show you that? 0 reaction to lazyness and again the you're black so lazy projection, what did you think? Nothing as I expected it. I just channel the ambition. YES YES YES MY DEAR AND YES; YOUR AMBITION IS THE ANIMAL; YOU'RE AMBITION IS GOD; DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT AMBITION IS? DO YOU TELL ME? 

Ehhh.... can't you chill for a bit and be more reasonable and logical? This is not really making much progress I asked you what gifts you are showing me and? STOP WITH THE RESISTANCE LOOK! LOOK LIKE IT'S THE MIRROR OR A MOVIE; DOES AN ANIMAL JUST LOVE?

Yes.

Does an animal just eat and play joyfully with it's cubs?

Yes.

Does an animal teach you survival and how to be strong?

Yes. 

I mean they all do that, yet why do we humans draw so much inspiration from it. Boy let's not kid ourselves we're far beyond beign an autonemous A.I we're raw creatures emergining from biological dust, we are not mechnical creatures that compute at the speed of light and can freely orbit is space and send information. Bro you're not a satelite you're some dumb animal like 99.9% of humans, sorry 100% of all humans. WE ARE DUMB ANIMALS AFTER ME!

WE'RE DUMB ANIMALS! ALRIGHT!

What do dumb animals do? 

DO DUMB SHIT EXACTLY YES! WE'RE DRINKING FUCKING PILLAGAING... eh... doc we're slightly getting of track here and a bit to much into barbarian mode we're not romans pillaging and raping women and villages, as well as entire planets/socities and countries. I am still prefer wisdom in a sense you know. What is the gift of a wise animal?

Wise question - the wise animal is self-controlled neither beyond, and neither beneath human/animal desire, it embraces all it's needs and relents it when there is time for it. Then why for gods sake did these small kids trigger me? Because they thought you think of yourselve as a god, while they perceive you as an animal. What is the paradox here? The animal creates the god?

YES embrace the animal, we're a zebra, a chocolate bear, a tiny little brown snake, a ginmorus huge python, an elequently long blond beaver we are animals! Yes we are animals! Bro I still have no idea where we are going with it, but I like it severly. Animals eat with pleasure!

3
I am the one who is not using the animal to call towards god!
I am the one who is regressing his potential by not acting out more animalistic drives and beign thankful for them
I am the one who is afraid of beign an animal out of social reprecussions and shaming subtely
I am the one who acccepts that he is a big bear, a giant beautiful zebra, a strong gorilla? A powerful horse. A deadly chamelon.
I am the one who accepts the humerouns and playfulness that animals inherently have, they eat your food play with your friends and charm them away, I am an animal that you love and hate at the sametime
I am the one who is a dumb animal huh?
I am the one who a socially uncalibrated animal that yearns to be a socially calibrated one
I am the one who neglects and neglected the value of beign an animal letting go letting desire run widlly and freely
I am the one who yearns to channel the wisdom of a wise animal to be self-controlled and wild and free at the same time, that makes you a human god
I am the one who yearn to tap into the animalistic deep sphere of growing into and beyond flesh
I am the one who yearns to love like an animal zügelose frei stark, percise like a hawk
I am the one who wants to pounce onto every possibly mating opportunity like a lion creating plethora of opportunites as well as co-creating

This is it I do have to be careful what I am still doing. This shadow work stuff certainly has effects, especially that I am doing now a double visually oriented process in a sense, as I am not working with the body. It's again top-down. 

Edited April 29, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

The is the most cringest shit to type, if you feel free to execute me I'll give you me address pm me.

[ValiantSalvatore]

Briefly writting this, things I need for dating.

• LSD
  • Wine
• Wild animals

Inspiration to not be toxic, and see what works simply. If I ever get a beautiful women that had had less than 10 partners I'd be willing to marry etc. Right now I am just learning I took soy protein for the first time.

Gratitude Journal:

I am thankful for noticing upgrades and recognizing the importance of the value game and how to play it more sanely
I am thankful for every non-toxic just wild hot women that enjoys sexuality and sensuality
I am thankful for every non-bitter nany who does not wage a war against men and create a gender war opposites and equals
I am thankful for every non-bitter man who does not wage a war against women and create a gender war opposites and equals
I am thankful for every functional and fun adivce, even if it is slighty toxic turned into a flower, beautiful going back to beauty is absolutely beautiful

 

[ValiantSalvatore]

Well I got layed. She also seemed to have to enjoyed it, she moaned very loud like I was scared the neighbour was going to hear us. She was absolutely beautiful for a young girl and I was surprised what I could have done, I took it very very very... very.... very..slow be basically had sex for 2h.... making out fucking, the point is I did not enjoy it as much it was nice to build connection I cried afterwards in the car just about the lifestory of the person, also how kind she was while I acted not very manly. I lost a lot of edge a lot ever since I got injured still I might have to absolutely drop coffee for sensetivity my nervous system is so overaroused. 

I did not cum after having sex for 2h and she moaned the whole time more honestly and she really enjoyed I saw it, I sensed it and I did not fully have the edge to ravage her. It was nice to see her in enjoyment of herself she gave her best also to make me cum..., yet I just could not I dunno why. 

I noticed even a solo experience on LSD was more sensual and also how tolerant I became to sensual experiences.... it's like I find depth only in utter despair, alone and in pain... 

I am unsure what to do, I stopped caring for a lot of things. She was also introverted absolutely lovely and beautiful from a personalities perspective. It's almost to perfect. By type she is/was by guess 1w9 INTJ architecture student gal. It's odd how manly intellect is a self-induced orgasm. Boah no idea I am tired will stop writing about this and sleep. 

She gave me a blowjob, titjob, handjob... I fucked her like Donald T Trump right into da pussy she moaned and enjoyed it all. She legit loved kissing my big lips I could not believe it. Etc etc etc etc. Possible detail after detail after detail. 

I don't know maybe I am inhumane, yet my dick must have fitted her pussy quiet nicely I did not feel as much. The injury that now is not an injury anymore. Lost me some drive I feel.

Anyway sexy girl lovely human. Odd. Odd...

I thought multiple things, yet I am to complex of a human... Might have to ask stuff...

 

[ValiantSalvatore]

Just leaving this here I never watched that episode. 

I actually know why I'd enjoyed more having a spiritual partner, let's see she seems to have interest in all of this. Sex is certainly not at least till now the thing until it becomes more spiritual life transcending otherwise it's mostly enjoyment & entertainment, connection building etc. 

Yeah..... me beign me..... how to be a dominant introvert could be a new thing. I am still not horny, because so much happend I don't know could all just be emotionally as I had the doctors appointment and I know I have the performance drive I felt quiet bad for not pleasuring her into a squirt, yet she legit moaned so loud the whole time. She also started heavily masturbating her clit at one point, but bro I do apparently have to do rocket science for stuff or let's say robotics. I just call it spiritual robotics. Till we're fking archetypes in 5D.

I do have to do this expert shadow work thing, so I can finally funny make the disqualiying alpha moves, it's like I am in a good college cult, without the hard drugs. I realized also especially now how sexy power has to be for a women, also for some the intellect that was the pinnacle during the two hours of "arrogance turned into self-serving pleasure" and seemingly pointing beyond sollipsism.

Edited April 30, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

Let's see I hope I played it well. Going to play one video game meditate and report.... I applied late for a program. They put me on the waiting list. Ambition for me really is on hold and on at the sametime. Just when you thought things get more perfect and or can't get more perfect. 

Let's hope and do my best. Maybe better opportunities are coming. 

Edited April 30, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

I miss going hard.  But yeah it is what it is.

 

[ValiantSalvatore]

If my life is that chil that I can enjoy beign a fat buddah and can get laid, why do I care about anything? What I notice is a bit of the creator drive.... I miss the abillity to be exellent in multiple domains. As well as study more deeply things feel more effortless and I careless. 

I also don't know what generally is up with the asian gang types liking me, somehow white women is not working out as well. I've read also stuff about psychological dominance. Anyway I just wonder how good enough can beat perfect, as it consistently does. All I can say now I am pretty rejuvinate for all dreams and goals for a while, as I made several long-term health changes. I wonder also why my libido is so low. 

I miss perfect drive, optimal health etc. Let's see I can still run the overall knee stuff did not get worse the doctor said. But fuck I want a regular shooting range you would not believe me, to just feel power and drive and amp the state. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

I also believe watching most of Leo's content made me immune and aware of the toxic pitfalls and obviously the only other German in there takes it super real because of privacy. I can be a little more loose thanks to skin color, yet I clean up basically the other end. I legit am a fool, as well as I miss proper skill and health. Basic power it's not all to bad just it's not the most optimal living strategy though I am confused ngl. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

1h meditation with visualizations, they are not fully crips, I don't know exactly why and which mechanism works the best I do a tiny bit better guided, as well as practice of what I visualize is also needed, I might slowly build the vision, it's mostly goals and activites around coding and mathematics and women as well as health. To be very specific is still not easy. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

I could go slower, I was a bit to ambitious and energetic, I don't know if I crippled my own vision. There are different things. 

This is ultimately it. I did not have the abillity to pursue that level of significance and proper planning. This is perfect, also I did not find the right proper way I am legit I did not do the proper thing. I thought I was thinking long-term, I notice how I keep thinking in poverty, by not creating the social abundance I never noticed. Maybe this is what the value of connection was about. Social abundance..... with a bit more smartness......
 

Hacking &Slaying posts:

Unsure what else to think currently, I don't feel like I can fully enjoy beign me. I did not invest in proper fundamentals as it's so implied in German society also at times because we still value mastery heavily, yet not the mastery of entrepreneurship this is why many are so interested in it nowadays. I don't know how far I go into my life purpose, I legit decided to not do the operation for now... it took my two years to mull this over and test with various things and aspects coaches, and information. 

Currently I just notice and feel how difficult it is when you're framed into multiple things and even when you have a holy plan, how many different obstacles you have to sort of over-visualize to make the same vision still correct. I don't know if consistenty is not efficient I don't know. I wanted to do this. This also gave me multiple impetuses, I do feel liberals don't value fundamentals as much. 

Today is YU day. We'll get this without turning into demons, yet demons shall be purified. I don't know what is better my reflections and reviews or my implementations. I do still say shadow work and vision most likely is the true me from all this work. 
 

[ValiantSalvatore]

The only thing that I can take from this is that I can apply the training more often, of sequences and don't bother with visualizing to much and make it more of a set sequence, when I recall actively this is also where I had the best results, when I made it to elaborate it did not fully workout anyway...