How Do You Become Brave?

[Something Funny]

I feel like such a coward sometimes. And I think that at least partially this is a root cause of most of my issues in life.

So, how do I change myself? I want to become really brave and decisive.

[Sincerity]

When You're conscious of what truly and deeply resonates with You, You have the spirit / strength to fight for it. If your love is strong enough, it overcomes fear. Because love is INSPIRING.

When You really love something and You see it's neglected, there sorta arises an anger in You that cuts through all bullshit and motivates You to act in protection of that thing. So REALLY dedicate yourself to what You love - for what / whom You'd be willing to die for. You will have the courage to FIGHT bravely and decisively.

Edited April 13, 2023 by Sincerity

[HMD]

@Something Funny From my personal experience of observing people and overcoming this problem myself, I'd recommend exploring your shadow deeply and then integrating it in your conscious life. Sounds simple, but it is among the bravest things you can do. After facing your internal demons, nothing external will phase you, because ultimately it's all just you. It seems you are simply afraid of yourself. And I mean that literally.  

Jordan peterson has a good take on this. He phrases it as "Become a monster, and then learn how to control it". The idea is that once you explore all the terrible aspects of yourself that you have been hiding because they don't fit your self-image, you develop self-respect. And once you have self-respect, you will become more decisive, assertive, and courageous. 

It's like having a loaded gun. When holding it comfortably, like you own it, you feel the power, confidence, and a sense of invincibility. But if you have never held a loaded gun, you might be scared to pick it up at first. Loading the gun is like becoming a monster, and then making it your own is like learning how to control the monster, which also involves developing a degree of respect for it because it can potentially kill others and yourself.

The same is true for the shadow, there is potential in there to kill others and yourself. 

While exploring the shadow, remember the wise words of Carl Jung:

"That which we need the most will be found where we least want to look.” 

and 

"No tree can grow to Heaven unless it's roots reach down to Hell."

Edited April 13, 2023 by HMD

[Identity]

8 years ago being courageous was not a trade associated with me.

When I asked people around me what my top 5 strengths are last year, courage was part of everyone’s list.

Reflecting on my growth process, I would say it was a rather gradual one.

As Nathaniel Daniel describes, self-esteem is a reciprocal trade. When we have more self-esteem, we act like it. When we act like it, we grow in self-esteem.

my advice would be to deliberately start taking small courageous steps outside of your comfort zone.

Pick-up can be great for this. I did door-to-door sales which helped. Starting your own business. Talking to strangers. Posting something online. Expressing your boundaries. The list is endless.

Brain Begin from Fearless has this technique called smth like the ‘tension journal’. Where he would note down throughout the day which actions he could take and which degree of tension they would be. 1 being completely comfort zone. 10 being completely out. Then he would challenge himself to do actions in the 4-7 range to train his courage.

In the end, what I’m saying is that courage, bravery and decisiveness can be seen as a skill. Train it deliberately and you will grow.

 

[r0ckyreed]

This is one of the best questions asked on the forum I have noticed in a long time.

Courage vs. Bravery

Courage is action in spite of fear.

Bravery is action without fear.

Bravery takes time to develop.

It really comes down to learning how to be more decisive.

Question your fears to death and just take action towards your goals.

Get excited for no reason at all. Be silly and just do it.

Edited April 13, 2023 by r0ckyreed

[Intraplanetary]

When there will be something in your life that you truly want, you'll act on it despite the fear. Courage is a talk with your heart, it comes from your heart. You are afraid but reaching for it anyways.

On a day to day basis, focusing on confidence and self-esteem would be more practical. From my experience, acts of courage are more rear occasions but surely very very significant.

[Intraplanetary]

Courage Is Calling: Fortune Favours the Brave

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08Q25N6R4/?coliid=I1G3L1LD0W0W5Y&colid=3P9QLYJFOKC0Z&psc=0&ref_=lv_ov_lig_dp_it

 

[Moksha]

It isn't about changing yourself, but about realizing yourself. At first, the spiritual path takes tremendous courage. You are doing battle with the demons of the conditioned mind. After passing through the gate, courage is transfigured into fearlessness. Demons dissolve.

[Buck Edwards]

By being brutally honest. 

[Razard86]

You are already brave, you have tricked yourself through self-deception to believe you aren't brave. You don't become brave, you just give yourself permission to be brave.

Why do you think people have to take risks to gain confidence? Because without evidence they can do it they will give up. So when people take small risks and keep getting success they eventually gain a whole lot of confidence. But this confidence is fake. True confidence doesn't care about results, it cares about doing the act just for the act itself. Which is selflessness. So you want to be confident? Don't live for success, live for exploration and experimentation. 

Placing your value on achievements and success is a fool's errand. Go and make mistakes and not care at all.

[Something Funny]

@Sincerity @Intraplanetary but what if I want to live my life bravely as a whole, not just have courage around "must have" things?

For example a few days ago I was at a post office and a drunk/high/crazy guy was bothering an old lady because she "took" his spot in a line that he previously "reserved". I felt like I should step in but instead just walked out like it's none of my business.

Yesterday it was raining heavily and I had an umbrella with me and I thought how it would be cool to offer some girl to walk with her. But I didn't because I was too afraid.

@Intraplanetary thanks for sharing the book, I will check it out.

Edited April 14, 2023 by Something Funny

[Something Funny]

@HMD do you have any resources or can you explain in detail whay process did you follow, please?

Also, I love the quotes.

@Identity thanks, that's encouraging. I know that this is the most straightforward approach. And I guess I am doing it bit by bit. But I feel like I am too inconsistent with it, lack patience, give up too quickly, etc.

For example I did pickup for like a week. I even found people to do it with. I had a week off from work so I would spend almost the whole day outsude trying to approach girls. But after a week I just quit and haven't done it since. And it's not just pickup, it's like that with almost everything that I do.

 

 

[Something Funny]

@Razard86 but how do I practically adopt this mindset in my life?

[Leo Gura]

There's a classic self-help book titled:

Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway

You don't need to read the book. Just the title.

Edited April 14, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Something Funny]

@r0ckyreed thank you.

@Leo Gura haha, okay. But it still takes emotional effort to do it though. And I feel like I just don't have the strength sometimes, or take to long to decide and the window of opportunity is gone by then, or, if I do, it's a one time thing where I really really push myself to do something, not a charater trait / lifestyle.

[Leo Gura]

@Something Funny If you make a lifelong habit of confronting your fears you will eventually become a badass motherfucker.

You do not need to do the process perfectly. Even 70% will be good enough if you are consistent at it for years. Take the pressure off yourself to do it 100%.

Edited April 14, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Something Funny]

@Leo Gura thank you.

[Intraplanetary]

1 hour ago, Something Funny said:

For example a few days ago I was at a post office and a drunk/high/crazy guy was bothering an old lady because she "took" his spot in a line that he previously "reserved". I felt like I should step in but instead just walked out like it's none of my business.

Yesterday it was raining heavily and I had an umbrella with me and I thought how it would be cool to offer some girl to walk with her. But I didn't because I was too afraid.

This sounds to me like a masculine way of approaching things. Courage doesn't have to relate with gender, but in the examples you're giving, I think you want to become more masculine and confident man. Maybe, working on self-esteem would help and just bitting the bullet and accepting the burn of doing something that you're afraid of, be it the fear of rejection or the fear of failure, etc.

I relate with courage as a talk with the heart and the ability to psychologically accept any consequences.

Maybe from a more masculine way it would be something like 'just fkin do it and accept the consequences like a man' heheheheh

Just let your ass burn; it'll make you stronger and more confident.

Edited April 14, 2023 by Intraplanetary

[Rafael Thundercat]

Core+Rage, A brave hearth. A rage that comes with heart.

[Something Funny]

@Intraplanetary haha okay. 

51 minutes ago, Intraplanetary said:

This sounds to me like a masculine way of approaching things. Courage doesn't have to relate with gender, but in the examples you're giving, I think you want to become more masculine and confident man.

Specific examples or gender are nit the main point though in my opinion.

It all boils down to experiencing fear and then running away from it.