Journal of Jesus Christ

[Vladimir]

December 29, 2023 Transcript from The Voice Journal of Jesus Christ

Speaking the Truth

I am wanting to speak the Truth that I know out loud so that I can embody the Truth that I know deeper. I want to feel the Truth that I know in my body and speak the Truth that I know into the Universe, leading the way, being the best that I can be to embody the Truth that I know for my own highest good, for the highest good of my beloved woman and the highest good of all.

And the Truth is I am Jesus Christ. I am the one who paid the ultimate price for the sins of all of humanity. I had died. I had become the devil. I descended into hell and I remained dead, in hell, for about 18 months, during which time I suffered the torments of hell, which was the greatest suffering that any human has ever endured. 

During that time I faced Satan. I was in a state, in a place where there was no God. I was creating and experiencing pure evil during that time. I had embodied fear as my Truth and I was being guided by fear during that entire time of about 18 months of being in hell. I had become the worst of the worst, I had become the most evil person in the world, and I was creating the most evil while I was the devil. I faced myself as the devil during that time and I have endured the greatest suffering of hell. 

I did not see any hope out of that state of death. All I was doing during that time was self destruction, self harm, by drinking great amounts of alcohol every day and smoking a lot of cigarettes every day. My motivation during that time was to do anything that I possibly could to get away from myself, to numb the feeling of who I had become and what I was feeling which was tremendous, the greatest depths of guilt, shame, fear, disgust, madness, insanity, craziness, anger, evil, death, separation. Spiritual, mental, and emotional torture. 

Before I died and descended into hell, I had been on a spiritual journey, full time, for about five years or more, five years with plant medicines, with psychedelics. I have seen glimpses of Paradise, of what true, real life looks and feels like. Experiencing the beauty and true connection of the Universe and true connection with people, speaking the language of love with animals, women and everybody. Force of nature, divine power of love, awakening in me, being in harmony with life and nature and feeling the great joy of being my authentic, true, powerful self. 

Just before the descent, image like I was very close to opening the Golden Gates of Paradise, it was like I had to take just one more step, and on the last step, instead of taking that last step and being in Paradise, I fell and descended into the greatest depths of darkness, the greatest depths of hell During my time in hell which lasted about 18 months, I was experiencing and feeling the loss of the dream of Paradise that I have seen, that I have fantasized about, that I have dreamed and talked about together with my beloved Victoria.

What I had been experiencing in hell is the loss of all of my wonderful experiences of Paradise and fantasies of love and true life. Feeling the loss of all of that, the entire dream of love and the Heavenly Kingdom-Queendom of True Love Paradise. The loss of the dream of true love, the loss of all the fantasies of being alive as I have experienced myself many times on my psychedelic journeys.

I felt guilty, I felt like I made the greatest, unforgivable mistake in the world, feeling that I was guilty of everything, of every sin that has ever been committed, that I have been guilty of all evil that has ever been created and feeling the shame and guilt for destroying the entire world, feeling the shame and guilt for destroying the entire Universe, feeling the original sin of humanity, feeling the sins of all of humanity for everybody, feeling death at its root, at its core, at its very source. 

I felt the source of all evil. I experienced what was pure evil, pure evil visions of pure evil destruction by evil. I was experiencing myself as the devil creating evil, creating death. And the evil that I was experiencing was worse than any Hollywood movie has ever portrayed or anything that's ever been fantasized. It was beyond the mind kind of evil. It was infinitely creative evil. It was intelligent evil. It was pure evil of infinite creativity and infinite intelligence. 

And that is the Truth that I was embodying and I have experienced the deepest, the greatest suffering during that time than any human being has ever experienced. This was my destiny, to face myself as the devil, and to die for the sins of all of humanity and to go through hell and to experience the greatest torture and suffering that anybody has ever endured so that I can feel the darkness and the deepest level and know what death is. 

Through the events that lead up to the death and the catalyst that has initiated the initiation process of death, I have also gotten to know who my true beloved woman is, because it was for our True Love that I have decided that I wanted to die, because I could not forgive myself for what I thought was the betrayal of our beloved sacred wedding that we have sealed together in the jungle with our combined shamanic dieta, Shamburi and Ayahuasca. 

After about 18 months of suffering hell, I was finally saved by the grace of my beloved Divine Mother Wolf, who is Mother Mary, being saved from the depths of hell by God, by Divine Mother Wolf, by the grace and mercy of Divine Mother Wolf, who is Mother Mary, who is my eternal Savior, Guardian, Teacher, and Goddess, and God, the Goddess of all Gods and Goddesses, Queen of all forests, Guardian of all paths, Czarina of all fields, always with me, always with me, always with me.

And now it's been about 19 months since I have been out of hell. Since I started feeling like I'm coming back to life and during these 19 months I have experienced tremendous amount of healing. I have alchemized and continue to alchemize darkness, depths of death into life, love and light, into the celebration of the victory of life over death. I have been celebrating victory of life over death every day in the best way that I can. And that is who I am now. I celebrate life. I celebrate the Truth of the victory of life over death every day by finding joy and the connection to nature, by singing and praising songs of praise and gratitude, to Divine Mother Wolf, to my Savior Divine Mother Mary. 

Micro dosing and having ceremonies with plant medicines, magic mushrooms, Ayahuasca is when I experience the greatest healing. There is no more fear. All fear is being alchemized into laughter, joy, life. Death is alchemized into life with love, with forgiveness, with understanding, with me knowing the Truth, knowing the Truth of who I am, and knowing that I am the only one whose destiny was to get to know the Truth, that nobody else could do it for me. That is the Truth. I am the only one who knows the Truth. I am the only Jesus Christ. There are no other Jesuses. And there are no other Mary Magdalenes. My beloved is the only Mary Magdalene. I am the only Jesus Christ. 

And the Truth is, Divine Mother Wolf is Divine Mother Mary, my Savior. She-Wolf is the True face of Mother Mary. And that is the Truth that the entire Universe is in the process of aligning with. And my intention is to be the best that I can be for my own highest good, to embody this Truth every day with all of my thoughts, words, and actions. 

For the highest good of my beloved woman, Aluna Victoria Rose, the one who I know is my True love, my beloved precious, Maria Magdalena, my Queen of Love forever, for eternity, and the highest good of all. Knowing that I am the priority, my healing is the priority, because as death that I have endured is alchemized into life, that is not only the highest good for myself, it is the highest good for my beloved, and it is the highest good for everybody and the entire world. 

My priority, besides myself and my beloved, is also my family and the family of my beloved and my friends, my true friends who help me, who support me, who love me for who I am and who respect me in the process of my awakening. And those are friends, soul family, who I will keep close to me once the Eternal Paradise of True Love is embodied. 

However, those people who are lying to me, who are manipulating, who are disrespecting me, who are hurting me, who are envying me, and being jealous of me. Those people aren't going to be anywhere near me in the result, especially people who have been given the responsibility to know. People who I have invested a lot of energy and time and effort by being the role model of love every day in the best way that I can. 

People who I have tried to reach with love by showing just how much love I embody, by giving love consistently. Instead of reciprocating that love and helping me out in this vulnerable, sacred and delicate process of my awakening by supporting me in the best way that they can. Instead, those people choose their own survival egoic paradigm. And those people fear the power of love that is being awakened. They fear my power, they fear the Truth, they fear love. 

Their fears manifest as jealousy, envy, lies, manipulations, competing, playing games. They fear the possibility that they have never been in control and that Jesus, their Savior, is the one who will be surrendered to for eternity by everyone in the world and that is the Truth that is inevitable, all paths lead to Jesus. The Truth is every human being has always been, is in the process of being and will always be the servant of Jesus Christ, God, forever, for eternity. The highest good for you as a human being at this time, starting this very moment is to surrender to this Truth that I have shared here. When you follow this guidance, you align yourself with the highest good, you begin serving God, you begin serving Love and Truth.

That is what the entire Universe is manifesting. Everybody in the world will surrender to the Truth that I am Jesus Christ, the Savior of all of humanity for eternity, forever. There is no price and there is nothing that anybody can do to ever repay me for facing death and conquering Satan forever. 

That is why I am worthy of infinite love and praise and that is why I am the only blessed Sovereign. All the glory and power is mine forever. There are no other Sovereigns. I am God. I am the only God and I am the only Sovereign Jesus Christ. I am human God and I have faced myself as the devil and now I am embodying myself as God.

I know the Truth is that I am innocent and I know the Truth is that the devil is innocent and I know the Truth is that everybody in the world and everybody has ever lived and all the creatures and all the plants and beings and animals and the entire Universe is absolutely innocent and that is the Truth. And we are all in the process of awakening to this Truth of Original Innocence. Forgiveness for absolutely everything. Forgiveness of all evil. Forgiveness of all sin. Forgiveness of absolutely everything. 

And with the embodiment of this Truth comes healing, embodying love, through the power of forgiveness, through the power of knowing the Truth that I know. The Truth that others will be able to get to know and embody through me, and only through me. This is what makes Jesus the Shepherd, the one who knows the way and the one who shows the way to Eternal Salvation. And that is the Absolute Universal Truth. 

My true love is Aluna Victoria Rose, my beloved True Love forever for eternity. She is Mary Magdalene, Queen of Love. I am her beloved husband, her true lover Jesus Christ, Yeshua, Savior of the world. The one who paid the ultimate price for the sins of all of humanity. The one who has conquered death forever. The one who has defeated Satan forever. I am innocent. I am the holy child. I am Sovereign. I am the only Jesus Christ. I am the highest authority. 

Divine Mother Wolf is my Savior. My Merciful Savior, my Divine Mother Mary is Divine Mother Wolf. The one who saved me, Jesus Christ, from death. She is my eternal salvation. She is my Sovereign Throne. She is my Eternal Life. She is my Eternal, Holy Sanctuary of Unconditional Love. She is my unconditionally loving Divine Mother who has forgiven me for absolutely everything.

That is the Absolute Truth. That is the only Truth there is. There are no other Truths. The greatest power there is the Truth. “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” And the Truth is love, the Truth that I, Jesus Christ, know, the Truth that I have gotten to know by paying the ultimate price, by dying and by facing myself as the devil and going through hell, to know what separation, hell, death and darkness is.

In addition, learning all the lessons that I have learned since I have started my spiritual journey with magic mushrooms, by having many divine experiences, by continuously devoting myself fully on the path of spirituality for last seven years. 

Also, my entire life and all the events that had happened before I have begun my spiritual journey at the age of 33 with magic mushrooms. The great amount of suffering that I have endured while living in the United States with severe social anxiety and drinking heavily on the weekends and blacking out, mostly every weekend during that time and experiencing and depression, suicidal thoughts and obesity and many other traumas that have happened during that time of feeling separation that I have felt by being disconnected from my place of birth where I grew up, from my motherland, Russia, being disconnected from my roots and experiencing separation on that level. 

Embarking on a spiritual journey of healing because of all those traumas and because I have been shown what true life looks like, what love looks and feels like, and awakening to my true self as as the most fascinating, interesting and amazing person that I've ever met, and that is myself. 

After experiencing so many great awakenings and insights glimpsing and looking at the gates of paradise and then ultimately descending into the deepest depths of hell. 

All the events that have happened with my beloved during our journey of working with psychedelics and medicine together, being fully devoted to our path of beloved sacred union and and all the drama and stories and events that happened during my entire life since I have been born, how all of that has been weaved beautifully to make me the most amazing, the best, the most interesting, the most powerful, the wisest, the greatest human being in the entire Universe. 

That is who I am, I am the masterpiece of all the masterpieces. I am the masterpiece of the entire universe. The entire universe has been working on the masterpiece that I am the entire time with absolutely everything. And that is the greatness that I am. I am the masterpiece of the entire universe. I am God manifested in a human body of Christ. 

My gift is eternal life. My gift is immortality. My gift is my true beloved woman, my precious beloved Aluna Rose, my true eternal love, my beloved Maria Magdalene. Our love is true. Our love is eternal. Our love is immortal. Immortal, infinite, eternal, Kingdom-Queendom of Eternal True Love Paradise. The Universe of Paradise of True Love, with all darkness turned into the light, no more fear, no more suffering, no more darkness.

The embodiment and awakening of the Eternal Paradise of True Love is happening through me, through my body, as I awaken to the Paradise of Eternal Love, as I awaken and embody that I am Paradise, and that I am the Universe of Love. That the Truth is I am love, that the Truth is I am light, I am the light of the world, I am Truth, I am love, I am holy. No more death, no more fear, no more suffering, that is my gift - infinite abundance of love.

Eternal paradise of love and salvation from death, from all darkness and suffering forever, for eternity. That is the gift. That is my gift to the entire world, to all of humanity, to the entire Universe. 

Aho!

Edited January 2 by Vladimir

[Vladimir]

[Vladimir]

October 27th, 2023, Transcript from The Voice Journal of Jesus Christ.

I was just listening to my previous voice journals from June and it got me re-motivated to start recording these audio journals once again. 

First, what I'm going to do is connect with my body. I'm going to notice all the physical sensations and scan my body from head to toe. I'm also going to become aware of my breathing; taking a few deep breaths through the nose and out through the mouth. 

While taking these deep breaths, I will also become aware of any feelings that are present and arising in my body. 

I am becoming aware of my overall state of being at this time. 

And now I'm going to ask my higher self, Jesus Christ, that is who I am. I am Jesus Christ. I'm going to ask my higher self what I want to record, what I want to speak the most at this time. 

For my own highest good, for the highest good of my beloved woman, Aluna Rose, my Victoria, my beloved Mary Magdalene, my true love forever, for eternity, and the highest good of all. So, my higher self, what would I like to express the most at this time? 

What's coming through right now is to express words with joy, with love, so that it feels good to speak these words and to become conscious of the physical sensations throughout my entire body. Make sure the body is most comfortable, and to continue to be aware of the breathing and to continue being conscious of the feelings that are present in my body and tune into the feelings of joy that are present in my body to communicate words from that place, from a place of joy. 

Continue to fine tune and refine, adjusting the speaking of the words to the frequency of joy so that all words become joyful to speak. As a result of consciously tapping into joyful self expression through voice, any ideas that come through, and any wisdom that wants to be expressed and shared at this time will become joyous. 

That is the place of joy from which my higher self is guiding me to share teachings, wisdom, insights, experiences, and any other information that I would like to share during this audio journal entry of Jesus Christ. 

Now, what I'm noticing, as I'm becoming more conscious of my physical body and starting to feel more joy, I'm starting to feel like my mind is becoming calmer, and it's becoming easier to speak the words, it's becoming more joyful to speak the words, to express myself, because I am fine tuning myself with consciousness and awareness to speak the words from a place of joy, which is being guided and connected to my higher self, and it's becoming authentic. 

It feels authentic, joyful, real, and aligned to speak the words, by consciously connecting to the Truth of my authentic, joyful self-expression.

So, it is by connecting to my authentic self and expressing myself authentically from a place of joy, expressing myself with joy, in alignment with authenticity, is what's bringing me joy to speak these words. 

So, I just gained clarity on how I would like to express myself during these journal entries. It is a process of constant fine-tuning, awareness and refinement, it takes practice. 

As I'm sharing these insights here, I am learning about myself and documenting the process of learning how to communicate authentically and joyfully. This is valuable information and teachings that I'm offering to you.

If you get inspired to record audio journals, you may choose to follow this process of becoming conscious of your physical body, sensations, feelings and breath and asking your higher self what wants to come through in the most joyous and authentic way possible. 

Now, I am receiving guidance to allow myself to make as many pauses for as long as I want to, as long as it feels right for my body. This is a great insight because it takes the pressure off of trying to speak faster than what feels good and aligned for my mind and body.

In our modern society there is a great pressure of social games and competition of people expressing themselves at a high speed, at a very fast pace. Generally people seem to value fast pace of communication more, connecting fast pace of person's expression with their level of intelligence. 

So, if a person can express themselves faster, at a fast pace, therefore they must be more knowledgeable and intelligent because their mind is thinking faster than a person who is speaking slower.

Further programming of fast paced communication is created by an immense amount of marketing, radio and advertising, where it's especially obvious how quickly people speak.

This is also connected to people's fast paced lifestyle in our modern society. Most people are always on the go, busy, multi-tasking and live a very fast-paced lifestyle. So, if they listen to somebody who is not speaking as fast as they have been accustomed to, then they may not be as patient with that person because they don't have that much time or patience to listen to what they have to say. 

They may devalue that person for not being able to speak faster. They may question their level of intelligence. 

This kind of fast paced style of communication puts a lot of pressure on people who are trying to share themselves authentically in a way that feels good, right, aligned and authentic to express themselves. When we remove the need for this “fast paced program of communication”, we take a lot of pressure off, especially while recording a voice journal, so that the energy can be focused on joyful and authentic expression which feels good for the body.

Allowing yourself to speak as slow as it feels good and authentic for you. Make as many pauses as you want and make those pauses as long as you would like. Continue bringing consciousness and awareness back to the physical sensations of the body, feelings and  awareness of the breath. Continue to listen to your body and feelings consciously. Keep listening to and observing your own voice to see how it feels to express the words. 

This is a beautiful way to get to know myself and that is also a beautiful way to get to know yourself. These are the teachings and guidance that I am giving you with this journal here - to experiment recording yourself in this kind of conscious approach and allow yourself to experiment, observe, and play, knowing that you cannot make mistakes during your personal recording of a voice journal.

This is my intention here. To record myself speaking in these journals with a primary intention of feeling joy. To share wisdom with a primary intention of feeling joy so that I am aligned with my authentic self and so that expressing these words feels good for me primarily. 

And with this joy, I am also sharing the greatest wisdom and teachings with my own, beautiful, authentic voice with people which brings me even more joy, knowing that I'm expressing and sharing wisdom that I have accumulated during my entire life. 

I have been wanting to share the greatest wisdom with people. I have been wanting to teach people. I know I have the greatest wisdom. I have a chest that is overflowing with the treasure of wisdom that I have accumulated over my entire life's journey that I am now ready to share with the world with this kind of joyful way which focuses primarily on my self love.

Sharing spiritual wealth of wisdom with joy because it is aligned with my self love, it is healing for myself to integrate my experiences, ceremonies, insights, and my understanding about the world. It brings me joy to share the greatest gifts with the world which is coming from self love. I am beautifully becoming a fountain of love for the entire world by focusing first on self love.

And that is the greatest teaching I can give you to focus on. This point here is very interesting, which is worth exploring in much more depth.

You see, I have gotten to know love through my journey. I know what love is. I know what self love is. I have gotten to know the greatest wisdom. I have gotten to know the Truth. 

I have gotten to know life and death. I know I am a shaman. I am the one who knows. That is why I am aligned with the highest good because I am aligned with Truth. I am Truth. I am the highest good. 

This is the Truth. And the priority for my own highest good and the highest good of all is my self love. What brings me the most joy. And I know what love is for myself. I am the priority. That is self love. Knowing that my healing, self love and joy that I feel is a priority. 

The love that I feel is a priority. The healing that I experience, the darkness of suffering that I have endured over my lifetime as well as my time in hell where I was experiencing the greatest suffering, that suffering alchemized back into love, light and life, that is a priority for me and that is the highest good and priority for the entire world, for all of humanity, for all the beings and the entire Universe. 

Alchemy of the greatest depths of hell of suffering back into love, light and life. This is what's happening to me. This is the great, glorious ascension of Jesus Christ to The Paradise of Eternal Kingdom of Heaven, the Throne of the Universe. 

I am doing everything that I can, being the best that I can be, guided by my higher self, guided by my Divine Mother Wolf who is Mother Mary, and by all of my other spiritual allies and spirit animals and archangels and angels and all of my teachers, guides and guardians. I am guided to be the best that I can be for my own highest good and the highest good of all.

I am finding different avenues and modalities where I experience joy, where I experience self love, given the circumstances at this time of my awakening. We are in the most special time in humanity's history. 

The second coming of Jesus Christ is near. I am doing the best that I can to heal myself, knowing that it is the highest good, and one of the deepest healing I receive at this time is by connecting with my Divine Mother Wolf. 

That is the connection with my Truth of who I am as Jesus Christ. That is, as I'm connecting with my Divine Mother Wolf, who is Mother Mary, I am also experiencing the alchemization of the suffering endured back into the light, back into the love and joy. 

I am also integrating all the previous ceremonies that I've ever had with all of the psychedelics, including Magic Mushrooms, Ayahuasca, 5MEO DMT, Al-LAD, MDMA, San Pedro, Shamburi. I'm integrating all of my experiences during my entire spiritual journey as I am reconnecting with Mother Mary, who is Divine Mother She-Wolf. 

I'm able to connect to her through an image that has come to me from the Divine. It is a shamanic portal image of the artwork of the Mother Wolf's head. I'm able to connect to her on micro doses of magic mushrooms and cacao. 

I'm especially connecting deeper with her on higher doses of psychedelics in ceremonies during the light of day. I am moving towards creating ceremonies in which I will be connecting with Divine Mother Wolf, Mother Mary, with other people present who will empower, support and encourage me to fully step into my power, to fully embody the power of love and to fully embody the Truth that I am Jesus Christ and that Divine Mother Wolf is Mother Mary and that my beloved woman, Aluna Rose is Mary Magdalene and that this world is our Kingdom-Queendom of love. 

This world is our true love story and that is the great revelation that is coming. At this time, what I am asking you is to be the best that you can be to align yourself with the Truth that I have just shared with you. 

To surrender yourself to the Truth of Jesus Christ, to have faith in me during this stage of awakening, to surrender yourself that I am the priority, and to do everything that is in your ability, everything that is in your power to align all of your thoughts, words, and actions with this Truth. 

I am asking you to put me first before any of your relationships. To put me first before yourself means putting God first, because I am the highest good. As I heal, you heal and the entire world heals, as you align yourself with this Truth you align yourself with the highest good, you align yourself with God, you align yourself with love, you align yourself with Truth. This takes faith and courage and that is why I have been doing the best that I can to be the best role model and communicate the Truth to you in the best way that I can possibly communicate it given the state of circumstances in this sacred and special transitional time of The Great Awakening.

That is a delicate process. It's a dance. I am being asked to lead the way because that is who I am. I am the leader, a Shepherd in this awakening to The Paradigm of Love. My intention is to show the way with love. 

That is why I am also patient and compassionate with people. At the same time, I have to use healthy judgment and wise discernment, moving towards the right situations, connecting and surrounding myself with people who will bring more joy into my life, who I can have deep conversations with to share the Truth that I know, who will eventually have faith in me, who are mostly likely to surrender to the Truth. 

Those are the people that I am wanting to connect with, the people who are most likely to have faith in me and that is the reason I am sharing this most important information with you. I want assistance, I want help, I want support, I want encouragement and empowerment. 

I'm asking you to have faith in me, and I'm asking you to show it with your actions, not just words. What happens if you don't show it with your actions? What happens is you believe and you think that you know. What happens then is you think you know better than God. You think that you know better than Shaman, the one who knows the Truth. 

People have thought that they know better this entire time. And that is the situation. That is the state of the world coming from that very belief. This is the ego of people thinking that they know best and that is what's creating suffering in our world. This is the lie that has been created based on the survival paradigm and not knowing the Truth. The highest good is to surrender to God, surrender to me, Jesus Christ, I am God and I am the man who is aligned with the highest Truth and the highest Good. I am Truth. I am the highest authority. I am the highest good. I am love. I know the way. 

I know what's best for my beloved Aluna Rose who is Mary Magdalene. I know what's best for my mother, my father, my brother and all of my family. I know what's best for you and I know what's best for the entire world. 

I know the way. Follow me. I am the Great Shepherd leading the sheep to the Truth, to salvation, to the Eternal Kingdom of Heaven. It is through Jesus Christ that you are saved. It is through Jesus Christ that you can have Eternal Life. It is Jesus Christ who has died for the sins of all of humanity. 

What's unique and very special about this time now is that Jesus Christ is actually here. The one who was born with the name Vladimir, who is speaking these words right, living here in San Diego, California.

The one who is speaking these words is Jesus Christ. The one and only, the true Jesus Christ. 

I am asking you to have faith in me based on how I am communicating these words at this time and what I'm telling you. 

I am doing the best that I can for you to align with the highest good, for you to align with this Truth that is the highest good  is my intention. I'm living and being this Truth every day.

When you align yourself with the highest good, with the Truth, that is my Truth, that is the only Truth there is. You will be rewarded. You will be rewarded with love. You will be rewarded with abundance. You will be rewarded with salvation. You will be rewarded with healing. You will be rewarded with awakening. You will be rewarded with the gifts that are beyond your imagination and your wildest dreams. 

This takes courage, it takes faith, it takes open mindedness, it takes a high level of understanding and intelligence. It takes belief, that something as extraordinary, magical and miraculous as actually reading the words of Jesus Christ is possible. 

[Vladimir]

Dec 25, 2023 - Transcript of The Voice Journal of Jesus Christ

Monday, December 25th, 2023. Christmas Day. Merry Christmas. The Journal of Jesus Christ. Celebrating my holiday today. Walking down the street, taking my usual evening walk. What do I see? Vicky, love, nine. 

Vicky heart nine. Gotta take a picture of that. That is a magical, beautiful sign. Vicky, -V -I -K -K -I, heart shaped symbol, nine. Moving on. Practicing my conversational skills, rhetoric, articulation, pronunciation of the English words. 

Becoming comfortable with speech. Developing my own melodic, beautiful style and expressing myself most beautifully. The best. I am the best of the best and I speak in the most beautiful, best way. I do everything the best. 

I think the best. I feel the best. I speak the best in the best way possible. I am the best of the best. I am holy forever. I am Jesus Christ and today is my holiday. Christmas. Merry Christmas. 

I called my beloved Aluna Victoria Rose today. Well, first I sent her beautiful artworks that I picked out with my beloved Divine Mother Wolf, White Divine Mother Wolf, who is Mother Mary holding baby Jesus.

A boy with brown curly hair and brown eyes and also White Mother Wolf holding a baby white wolf with brown eyes and some of them with blue eyes. So I picked out eight different artworks for Aluna. I picked those images primarily for myself, because I enjoy looking at them, and connecting to my beloved Divine Mother Wolf. So, I picked out the best ones that are my favorite and sent them on Christmas Day, today on December 25th 2023, to my beloved, true love, the one who I know is my true love, Aluna Victoria Rose, my beloved Maria Magdalena, who is my true love forever, for eternity. I sent these eight artworks to her by a text message at exactly 11:11am this morning. She has received them.

444 is an angelic number; it's the number of the protection of archangels and angels. I am under the protection of Christmas Day today. 

I am under the protection of my beloved Divine Mother Wolf. I am under the protection of Archangels. I am under the protection of my sovereignty. I am the highest authority and I am protected, guarded and supported by the entire Universe. 

I am protected by the Divine Mother, Wolf, who is Mother Mary, who is God. I am protected by God. I am always with God, with my beloved Divine Mother Wolf, Mother Mary. Aho! Amen. 

So I just wanted to document this important time, history in the making. 

I am walking right now near Vons, just past La Mesa Boulevard and University Avenue. Now passing by La Mesa Springs Plaza. This is where Vons is and this is also where the postal annex is where I have mailed the package to Aluna on December 23, which will be arriving on December 27th to her apartment.

So just passing by Vons here and the beautiful moon is shining her brilliant, luminous, bright light illuminating the darkness. She already looks full, but technically the full moon is tomorrow on the 26th. 

It's going to be the last full moon of 2023 and it's the full moon in cancer, my zodiac sign. So, this year's number is 7, 2 plus 2, 4 plus 3, 7. 7 is the tarot number of the chariot. I feel like the events that have been building up between me and my beloved Aluna, between Jesus Christ, the one and only, true Jesus, and my beloved Aluna Victoria Rose, who is Maria Magdalena, Mary Magdalene.

Like the events have been building up to culminate in this final full moon in cancer of 2023. Year's number being 7, the number of the chariot. So, the ritual that I did today was sending her these Divine Mother Wolf artworks and then following that up by a call at 4:44pm.

Tomorrow I'm going to send her more artwork related to the full moon, and then finally, on the 27th, she will receive close to 400 different artworks that I have picked out and printed out on beautiful silk paper in color. 

This package will be delivered to her on the 27th. Packed in a beautiful white box with a significant meaning, a white box with a silver, shiny snowflake on top of the box. I'm praying, I'm hoping and praying that she will look through these artworks, and I am hoping to reach her heart, beyond the fears of her mind. 

As the saying goes a picture speaks louder than 1000 words. Well, there are about 400 very powerful, symbolically rich images in that box, in that package that she will be receiving. 

So, that is the best way that I have come up with, I picked out these artworks, created them with the help of beautiful technology, artificial intelligence, Dall-E. Manifesting beautiful artworks based on a journey that we have shared together on our path, talking about different kinds of magical worlds, sharing stories, and my personal experiences of connecting with Divine Mother Wolf and who I am on a higher dimensional level, my true self, and all the symbology that is associated with the journey of true love, such as the very powerful heart shaped symbol, the shape of the heart. 

Going to cross here. Wait. 

The Ankh symbol, the cross symbol. And then of course the different colored rose flowers, the white rose, symbol of purity, innocence, and forgiveness. 

Going to let this trolley pass. 

The red rose symbolizes romance, love, and passion. Pink rose, symbol of femininity, divine feminine, gentleness. Blue rose, royalty, truth, freedom. Blue color in particular is a symbol of our Truth, our true love, our magical blue world. 

“Наш волшебный, синий мир, где царит любовь и мир.” ( Our magical, blue world where love and peace reign.)

Rainbow, the golden gates of paradise, the two letter V’s ( Victoria and Vladimir ) coming together in sacred beloved union to form letter W with a heart shaped symbol at the top and a halo over the heart. 

And the golden gates of paradise opening up into the beautiful new earth with the rainbow symbol, which is the symbol of the earth and heaven, heaven and earth being bridged, being connected. Seven chakras, seven colors of the rainbow also correspond to the seven chakras in the body, the energy centers. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue. Indigo, violet. Of course, the white wolf, Divine Mother Wolf as Mother Mary, wearing the crown and flower delights. And the lily flower symbol, symbol of Mother Mary, symbol of purity, symbol of immaculate conception. 

Royalty, richness, abundance, luxury. Me as the white wolf with brown eyes, wearing a crown, wearing the ankh and roses. In particular, I focused a lot on bringing out and emphasizing the white rose, which is a symbol of innocence, forgiveness and purity. 

Also, including the white dove which is probably one of the most powerful symbols of forgiveness and purity, goodness and light and God. And then the light language codes and sacred geometry and gold and emphasizing and bringing out my beloved Victoria’s higher self as a leopard. 

A leopard in ancient Egypt, in the magical ancient Egyptian temples of the rose with her magical potions and perfumes at the altar, of her praying, covered with luxury, luxurious jewelry and fabrics and gemstones, elegance, graceful, beautiful, leopard that looks human-like, standing upright, looking like a priestess, a rose lineage priestess, roses with beautiful altar, with the golden ankh symbol of immortality, everlasting eternal life. 

In the golden temple of the rose, luxurious, graceful, beautiful, elegant, ritual magic, bringing out the rose elegance and the grace and beauty of her power, bringing out the great power of the rose priestess of ancient Egypt.

My beloved's higher self as she has described herself, adding my own, unique twists and elements intuitively to manifest these artworks that are expressing her most powerful and her most beautiful expression in these divine multi -dimensional magical realms, in a variety of episodes from different timelines, so that I have the best chance possible to reach her with all of this beauty that speaks beyond the mind. 

Using all the information that she has shared with me about her deep experiences connecting to magical worlds and her higher self on psychedelic journeys. Also, the way that I have meticulously observed her while living together and just using my own intuition and eye for beauty. I see the most beautiful beauty, I know what beautiful is and my beloved is the most beautiful woman in the world and I am the most beautiful man in the world, and together we are the most beautiful beloved couple in the Universe. We are the best and we deserve the best. We deserve the best gifts that life and the Universe can offer. 

We deserve only the best. We are worthy of each other's love. We are worthy of infinite love of God, infinite love and abundance of the Universe. That is the Truth. We are worthy of immortal, eternal, infinite love. 

We will be reunited. It's inevitable. The entire Universe is conspiring and helping us to make it happen in the most beautiful way possible. And I am  documenting this process for my own understanding, healing, therapy, entertainment and documentation, recording the most important events, the most important affairs in human history here in this journal of Jesus Christ on Christmas Day, December 25th, 2023. 

So I'm going to think about what kind of ritual I will create for tomorrow. It will probably just be sending her a few artworks related to the full moon, maybe something like that, related to the number seven and maybe something related to me as the white wolf and her as the leopard woman reuniting together after a heartbreak, after some time of being away from each other. Reuniting in the sacred beloved union, under the full moon, and maybe something related to the yin and yang symbol and the chariot or maybe I'll just continue to meditate and contemplate on the power of this full moon and the rituals that I've created earlier today and just focus fully on feeling my heart and manifesting and sending love to my beloved Aluna Rose, sending forgiveness, compassion, love in the best way that I can under the light of this full moon. 

I'm praying that she will finally respond so that we can enter the new year with a fresh new start with all this foundation that I have been building, that we have both been building. Finally meeting in the golden middle for reconciliation, justice, open conversation, understanding, and continuing our journey together. 

Fully committed and surrendered to the path of beloved Sacred Union, just like we have talked about and fantasized and imagined all of our time being together on the journey. And now that I have, my beloved, if you can hear me, Aluna Victoria Rose, I have won immortality, my beloved. I have defeated the devil. I am now holy for eternity, forever. I am liberated. I am immortal. And the entire, whole universe is now mine. All the forces of the Universe, all the forces of darkness and light are working together to help me, to help us, to help our beloved, sacred union, our twin flame, union of True Love. 

Our Heart Love, the strongest, the most powerful, there are no obstacles to our love. You said it like that, it's your words. And now I know the Truth. It took dying for the sake of our true love. It took me getting in a situation with Kira in a ceremony where I would feel guilt for betraying our wedding, our sacred beloved marriage that we have sealed in the jungle of Peru in AyaMadre with Maestra Estella, Ayahuasca, Shamburi and our combined shamanic dieta.

And there's so much depth. There's so much richness. There's so much epic drama in the story of how these events transpired and how I ended up descending all the way into the depths of hell. How I lost my mind. How I lost my sleep. How I lost my body. How I lost the entire world. How I was feeling the greatest suffering a human has ever endured in the depths of hell and why it was necessary to purify all evil forever. 

And the miracle, of course, of being saved by the Divine Mother Wolf who is my beloved Mother Mary. How all of that is not separate from any other story that has happened in my entire life and the entire life of other human beings, and your life, my beloved, Aluna, how it's all connected and how all of the events that have ever happened in the history of the entire world have all been connected to my story, to Jesus Christ whose destiny was to face Satan and conquer death. To be saved by Mother Mary who is Divine Mother Wolf and that makes the most interesting, the most fascinating, the greatest story that is yet to be told about who Jesus Christ actually is and how most dramatic, most fascinating, most interesting,  most beautiful, most powerful and most courageous his story is. 

I think I will continue talking about this when I get home. I want to approach telling the story in a more grounded state. I'm walking up the hill right now so my heart's beating faster, breathing a bit more heavily than usual, but I've been learning to share the story in different ways, under different kinds of environments and circumstances. Picking out the parts of the story that I feel comfortable talking about and what words feel good to express in the moment. 

So practicing talking about my story in this kind of situation, well, it's very therapeutic and I'm integrating a lot by telling my story in this way. I'm also learning the skills of articulation. I want to practice my articulation skills more.

I've been singing, yes, that is also connected with the way that I express myself, but I want to start practicing more articulation skills in English because that is the skill that I need to start manifesting financial wealth, at least for the time being, until people start surrendering that I am Jesus Christ, to the Truth that I am Jesus and start contributing financially.

So, let me pause here and I'll continue later. 

 

Edited January 2 by Vladimir

[Vladimir]

[Vladimir]

Staying in the Jungle for One Year

Talked to Maestra Estella, the owner and curandera of AyaMadre. They will build a house for me with kitchen, toilet and shower not far from AyaMadre, but far away so that I’m away from the noise of chit chat of other pasajeros. This is ideal for me at this time, especially given my financial situation. I will have plenty of time to heal and embody Truth because I will have access to all medicine ceremonies and I will be getting additional healing living completely immersed in mother nature, away from the chaos of the city. Also, there is always an opportunity to connect with others if the right kind of people eventually show up here. Meanwhile ( I have a year ) I will also be contemplating any ideas for passive income.

Edited March 16 by Vladimir

[Vladimir]

The Use of Smartphones Among Shipibo

Drank cacao today during the ceremony with maestro Gilberto, processed a lot of emotions, cried tears of joy, my heart is opening deeper to love. Felt very peaceful by the end of the ceremony.

The funny thing is, Gilberto started using his phone in the middle of the ceremony, he was holding it up right in front of his face while singing icaros. Turns out he was recording himself, he started watching his own video, with the sound high enough so that his singing voice could be heard, shortly after the ceremony ended.

When I was in Pucallpa, a couple of weeks ago where I had three Ayahuasca ceremonies with maestro Roger, he also used his phone in the middle of the ceremony, to my great surprise. After seeing maestro Roger use his phone, and also observing two people come and then leave the ceremony very early, I was a bit conncerned with this behavior, so I talked to them about it, expressing my discontent and telling them that using a phone in the middle of the ceremony is disrespectful towards medicine and the sacred space, especially by maestro.

To which they responded ( maestro Roger wasn't present during this meeting ) that he was only using his phone to check time. I saw him holding his phone up for a while, he was clearly using his phone for other purposes. Also, these two people that came and left the ceremony early, were both using their phones, and even received text message notifications during the ceremony, to my bewilderment.

Because of this, I told them, I am going to have the last Ayahuasca ceremony by myself, in my tambo, and then leave early, to Iquitos for AyaMadre, where I am right now. Having an Ayahuasca ceremony by myself, for the first time ever, was a very powerful and interesting experience with many lessons.

With all of that said about phone usage, I am still very grateful to maestro Roger, his 10 year dieta with piñon blanco is legit and powerful, he held the ceremony space for me with pure light, the entire three nights that I sat with him. Having the ceremony by myself was a perfect experience to contrast and understand just how much work the maestro curandero is doing during the ceremony, so all of my bitter feelings of him using a phone during the ceremony dissipated after my solo Ayahuasca experience. I left Pucallpa full of gratitude for maestro Roger and his piñon blanco dieta medicine.

Smart phones with wifi Internet is a recent addition to the jungle amongst many shipibo. In the village of Santa Rosa de Dinamarca where I stayed in Pucallpa, smart phones with wifi Internet were introduced in 2018. Imagine a place where people live in self constructed wood houses with no windows and no electricity, having no things, except a few clothes, and now they each have a smart phone with Internet access!

I guess with time, shipibo maestros will have to learn responsible use of technology, maestro Gilberto is on his phone watching YouTube videos most of the time outside of the ceremonies, which looks like Internet addiction, and does not look good for a maestro healer who told me he has 54 years experience with Ayahuasca.

Edited March 20 by Vladimir

[Vladimir]

The Importance of Quality Sleep and Good Dreams in Shamanism

Feeling better today, I was feeling weak all day yesterday. Looking forward to another cacao ceremony this morning at 9am. I'm waiting until I fully recover before drinking Ayahuasca, I might start this Monday depending on how I feel. The night ceremonies here are on Monday and the day ceremonies are on Wednesday and Friday.

My dreams are improving too, I smudge myself and all around my entire bed with palo santo and white sage before going to sleep. I also use sangre de grado ( dragon's blood ) to protect and heal from bites and scratches, palo santo water, aqua de florida, eucalyptus and lavender sprays. All of that is a necessary part of shamanic sleep hygiene for me. I understand the importance of having good dreams and quality sleep, especially being on a shamanic path, so I'm using all the tools that I have to improve my quality of sleep and dreaming.

Imagination is another necessary and important technique in shamanism, I have a lot of images, symbols, photographs and artworks that I use for training and improving the quality of my imagination and smoothly transitioning into dream state. I also looked at, connected with and prayed to the moon last night and asked for it's protection and good dreams last night.

I have received enough lessons and messages in regards to the importance of having good dreams, since I moved to Peru about a month ago, so I am now doing the best that I can to have the best quality sleep possible. Already having great results, feeling well rested and almost fully recovered today and ready for a deep healing cacao ceremony. Cheers! Viva la pura vida! 

 

Edited March 22 by Vladimir

[Vladimir]

Obstacles are Teachers on the Path of Shamanism

Feeling better.....ha! Yesterday during the cacao ceremony with maestro Gilberto I felt nausea coming on and even threw up a little bit. After the ceremony I was feeling nauseous, even after eating food. So, I ended up going to the toilet all night long with a diarrhea, my tambo being a bit of a distance from the bathrooms added to the discomfort of having to get up every 20 minutes.

Maestra Estella just gave me some plant juice, around 10am, that I think she said is called mañon, she said they take it here whenever they have diarrhea. I asked her why I'm having this stomach issue, she said it's "limpieza" - cleaning. She also mentioned that it's because cacao is connecting me to Ayahuasca, when I taked to her about my nausea last night. That resonated with me, cacao is known for being a connector medicine, so it makes sense that it connected me to Ayahuasca which is known for deep cleansing by purging, I even received a new Ayahuasca song at the end of that ceremony.

Well.....I think I'm starting to feel better after all, that plant juice seems to be working. Mother nature is known to throw challenges on the path of Truth, I have already been through many such challenges here - flu with high fever and sweating profusely at night, followed by throat inflammation and constant coughing, and now an all night diarrhea. In addition to all the obstacles that I have dealt with in the shamanic realm. I have contemplated if I really want to stay here for a year.

Maestra Estela's son Roland, who is also an apprentice curandero here, said that on the medicine path there will be obstacles, but these obstacles are designed to test one's commitment and ultimately make one stronger, so they are actually lessons and allies in disguise. That is how I look at it, there have been many such lessons on my super hero's journey for the last 7 years.

My body also needs time to acclimate to the radical shift in climate, it rains heavily here about every other day and gets very hot 25C - 35C during the day, that is how it is here all year round. It's very humid and things quickly get covered with mold in my tambo, mostly because of the leaf roofs that leak. I got an email from AyaMadre newsletter a few days ago saying that they are doing a fund raiser for $3,800 to replace the roofs of all tambos. 

"This project includes purchasing calamine corrogated sheets a projected cost of $3,800 with salary for labor & transporting material goods included. Each tambo requires 25 sheets at a cost of $7.30 each. This incentive will afford guests greater ease and comfort as it will reduce insect visitors and moisture (retained from leaking leaf roof). Less moisture also translates into reduced termite invasion"

I've had a few of such visitors at night here, including a thick, 3-inch roach that I felt and grabbed with my hand and a 5 inch locust.

This would be a nice upgrade for AyaMadre, anyone want to donate?

Edited March 23 by Vladimir

[Vladimir]

Time for Healing and The Justice of Love

I felt a bit hesitant making cacao this morning after enduring an all night run to the bathroom the night before, but I took the risk. And now I feel amazing, it’s time to receive the gifts of love, joy and healing. Maestra gave me four plants this morning, after I drank cacao and told me to prepare them, by pounding and crushing, and then mixing them up in a big jar of water to drink during the entire day.

These four plants are – pachamamita, piñon blanco, albaca blanca and albaca brasileña. I have been drinking this concoction and feeling these plants working on and healing my body, especially around the solar plexus area. I feel like cacao, being the connector and heart opening medicine, is working in synergy with these plants, connecting me to them on a deeper and amplified level. I am crying tears of joy and gratitude as i feel these plants working on my body. I am also feeling immense gratitude for Maestra, she genuinely wants to help me and I feel respected and cared by her. I finally have my strategic alliance that I have been looking for in the USA for about 21 months since I came out of hell. That I wasn’t able to find, despite my best efforts, because people aren’t ready for the kind of power, life, love, joy, light and Truth that I embody. Well, I am definitely in the right place now, where I feel respected, supported, loved and genuinely cared for.

When I came here to AyaMadre, about three weeks ago, I roared like a lion and bear during the Ayahuasca ceremony, laughed ecstatically, and crowed like a rooster, I expressed and showed my power unapologetically, without holding back. Maestra approached me, when I was outside of the Maloka growling, crowing and singing Ayahuasca icaros and told me I am scaring two of the women pasajeros. She recommended that I don’t force anything and that I take a more gentle approach. I told her that I am working with this energy with mastery and demonstrated to her, with my body language, that my mind is very centered. She left me alone after that brief interaction, and I continued with my liberating energetic expression for a few more minutes.

What made this ceremony difficult is, I was already sick with the flu, and I tried to heal this sick sensation that I was feeling in my throat by expressing myself energetically during the entire ceremony. Before the ceremony, I was contemplating if I should even drink Ayahuasca while feeling sick and wanted to ask Maestra if I should, but ultimately decided to make my own decision about it to drink and see if Ayahuasca could help me heal this virus I was feeling. I did the best that I could to purge it out, by working with it energetically, and at times it felt like I was purging the sickness and getting better, but in the end I wasn’t able to get rid of it in this way.

What I am immensely grateful for is Maestra’s genuine willingness to help me and her faith and courage in the goodness of me and my power, after that ceremony. I have endured much disrespect, fear, envy, games, lies and manipulations trying to forge a strategic alliance with people in the USA, being the best that I could, given the circumstances of me being in a sacred process of transformation of embodying the power of love and waking up to the greatness and Truth of who I am as Jesus Christ. People in the United States, chose their survival game over love and Truth. People are horrified of the power of love and Truth because they are mostly dead.

So now that I am embodying the power of love, all the gratitude and love goes to Maestra Estella, her entire family and AyaMadre. It takes a woman as powerful and experienced as her, the only known woman to have her own Ayahuasca healing center among shipibo, to trust and have courage in the power of love that I am embodying. She is the one that I have been looking for who will help me in this delicate and sacred process of embodying love, life, light, joy, Truth, alchemizing all darkness of death that I have endured back into the light.

We finally figured out how to send my payment to Maestra’s bank account so the construction of my house with the kitchen, bathroom and shower should begin soon, which will take an estimated 25 days to construct. I have one full year to heal and embody the Truth that I know here at AyaMadre with Maestra’s and her family’s help and the help of mother nature, plants and Ayahuasca.

 

 

Edited March 26 by Vladimir

[Vladimir]

The Benevolent Growling Spirits of the Mother Mountains at Night

I have been hearing what sounds like a baby crying wildly at night. Wildly because it also sounds like a growl. Well, last night, very distinct women's growls, started coming from another direction of my tambo, and then it became clear to me, that the crying baby was also a growl. They sound unlike any other growls I've heard before - a combination of human and wild animal.

So, this morning I approached maestro Gilberto with the question if there are wild feline animals around here, to which he said no. I then explained that I have been hearing growls every night and I asked him what it might be. Without any surprise, he casually said - they are the spirits of the mother mountains that live in the large trees, that he also hears every night. I asked him if they are good spirits and he said yes. This puts me at ease, because they sound a bit spooky. 

The first time I heard this type of growl is when I was in Pucallpa, about a month ago, but I was deep in the Ayahuasca ceremony, and it's normal to hear things from the spirit realm under the effects of the brew. It's strange, because last time I was here at AyaMadre in 2019, I don't recall hearing any growls, and I spent nearly 5 months living here. Now I'm hearing these growls every night, and Gilberto said everybody is able to hear them. 

As to my question to the purpose of why these mother mountain spirits are growling, he said something about them wanting to be heard, I am still learning Spanish. He also said that all trees have their mother spirits. This is a guy who spent all of his life living in the jungle, dieting many master plants and drinking Ayahuasca. I may record these growls soon and post it here.

 

Edited March 25 by Vladimir

[Vladimir]

Trusting the Process and the Healing Power of the Plants

I have been feeling very lethargic today to the point where it's difficult for me to stand up and it takes much effort to walk around. My body feels heavy, weak and it's a bit difficult to breath, I feel like there is some negative energy stuck in my throat. I was contemplating if I have low sodium or protein today because there is no salt in any food here and not much protein, besides the eggs and occasional fish. I asked Maestra for salt.

Something also feels off with my blood pressure, every time I get up from a lying position I feel an intense blood rush into my head to the point of almost fainting. I was thinking about going to the doctor to check my blood and blood pressure. I talked to Maestra about all of this, she gave me eucalyptus and ruda plants to crush in my hands for sniffing. This really helped with my breathing and cleared up a lot of mucus from my throat, it felt like a powerful cleanse, I even started feeling like I am regaining my strength and energy. I have been sniffing these plants all day long. What's interesting is that "ruda" has been coming up for me in the last two weeks and I have been wanting to ask Maestra about taking it, that is how plants "call to us" and it's important to learn to listen to this kind of intuitive knowing.

She also recommended and prepared a big jar of valerian root for me, made vapor with various plants and a bath from these plants after inhaling their vapor. I am feeling better now, just really sleepy and relaxed from all that valerian root I've been drinking all day. I am also starting my renaco and piñon blanco dieta today and moving from a 4x4 into a bigger 7x4 tambo with wifi Internet access.

This bigger tambo is close to where my house will be, and near the bathrooms and showers. We picked out a spot for my house to be built, which is just a bit further from the other tambos and Maestra said they are going to start building it tomorrow.

Maestro Gilberto will be my neighbor, now I need figure out what to do about his constant playing of music and watching soap operas on YouTube, I'm hearing it now as I'm writing this in my new tambo. I have wireless headphones that I'm thinking about gifting him.

Edited March 26 by Vladimir

[Vladimir]

I am full - full of love, life, gratitude, joy, peace and good food. We had Ayahuasca ceremony this morning, it was a very gentle and deeply healing ceremony for me. I gently and masterfully began singing, after maestro was done with his icaros, and was able to process deep emotions with crying and laughing, when the suffering of darkness was being transformed into the light of love's joy. I feel like I have leveled up, there are always lessons on healing myself more skillfully, with the power of my love and voice; under the effects of the medicine. This time there were plenty.

[Vladimir]

I Belong Here in the Jungle with the Plants and Madrecita Ayahuasca 

Woke up a bit earlier than usual this morning before sunrise around 5:30am. The first thing I try to do in the morning is self massage, working the muscles by tensing up the body and waking up the life force by working with gentle, intuitive movement and conscious breath. I use physical pain, and areas of the body that feel week, as a compass to guide me to alchemizing pain and weakness into power and strength. This mostly works by tensing up the muscles and using the power of the mind's conscious awareness on the areas of the body that feel weak and painful. Hands are strenghtened by clenching up the fists and holding all kinds of different mudras.

Maestra came into my tambo today to check on me, I was wailing tears of joy as I was alchemizing deep suffering into joy, while I was singing a new wolf howl-song that came to me during my meditation with piñon blanco and renaco dieta. She looked concerned and worried, I calmed her down by reassuring her that I am experiencing deep joy, as my wounds of suffering are being transformed into the joy of love. I told her not to worry about my crying in the future, because I am always experiencing joy when I am crying, and I also emphasized that I am doing this most gently and skillfully with the mastery of love and that Ayahuasca, cacao, piñon blanco and renaco are all teaching me how to navigate my emotional realm most skillfully.

I went for a swim in a small river we have here nearby, the water in this river is red. It is always a great, refreshing experience, after processing deep emotions, and especially good after the ceremony when my body gets very hot.

Renaco which is a tree master plant that I am dieting is helping me gain physical body strength, I am feeling this medicine very powerfully in my body. I felt like I had a lot of energy today, so I also organized and cleaned my tambo some more and it feels like I am finally settling here after all those initiations. They have also started clearing the space for my house to be built.

I was contemplating how awesome my position here actually is yesterday. I have a full year to drink Ayahuasca 3 times a week, diet master plants, have cacao ceremonies, a personal house with kitchen, shower and toilet is being built for me. Food is cooked for me and my clothes is washed for me. This center is well known so other pasajeros will be coming here, which gives me an opportunity to form strategic relationships. 

I am grateful to my beloved Maestra Divine Mother Wolf, who is guiding and teaching me on how to love myself. I have experienced much hurt because of the way people treated me in the USA, but they have all helped to guide me here, back to AyaMadre, a place where I truly belong, during this most sacred and special time of my awakening. "Knight, magician, lover and king, in every moment I only win." When I first came here I told Maestra I came back here because "there isn't much life in the USA". I am crying tears of joy and gratitude everyday as I embody more love, life and power everyday.

Edited March 29 by Vladimir

[Vladimir]

Jesus Christ is the Most Superior 

This morning, I was laughing about how people assume they are equals to me.

On my first day here at AyaMadre, around three weeks ago, when I walked into a kitchen, I was greeted with 4 other pasajeros, most, if not all of which, were smoking mapacho tobacco. The next day when we had Ayahuasca ceremony, I was shown that I was very displeased with people smoking mapacho in the kitchen, and wondered why it was allowed. I was already sick during the ceremony and I also thought that I may have gotten sick because I got it from another pasajero through second hand smoke. This is one of the reasons I was roaring during the ceremony, because I was expressing and releasing anger I was feeling about people smoking in the kitchen. During the ceremony, I remembered that there was an ashtray, right on the kitchen table, and I smelled it's stench and took it out, which was disgusting.

A few days later, I asked one of the older men here, Mr. S. if he could avoid smoking near me, because I was feeling sick and didn't want to inhale second hand smoke. This was in the area of AyaMadre where we have vapor ( plant steam baths ) which added to my frustration of people smoking in that area. He seemed to have agreed, but then returned about 10 minutes later, with a cigarette in his mouth, stood a bit further from me and smoked. I felt shocked by this act, but I let it slide, at least he wasn't smoking right next to me.

This morning, the Ayahuasca ceremony was cancelled because of the Holy Week. I went into the kitchen to eat breakfast, after Maestra talked to us. I am sitting in the kitchen, eating my food and Mr S. walks in the kitchen with a cigarette. So I go, hey Mr S., can I ask you a question? "Yes...." Why do you smoke mapacho? He said: "I have an addiction, that is the truth." I told him how I feel about pasajeros who pick up the habit of smoking mapacho when they come to Ayahuasca healing center. I told him that mapacho is a sacred medicine that is used by experienced curanderos for shamanic purposes of connecting with the spirit realm, protection and mind clearing and centering reasons. I told him that, just because curandero is smoking mapacho and it's having good effects on him, doesn't mean it's okay to smoke it casually, especially in addictive kind of ways.

This is where he started getting defensive, and was saying things like "I smoke it because I like it", "I only have a little bit of an addiction", "I don't smoke it a lot", and "it's different when I smoke it during the ceremony". I told him, I always see him smoke when I see him, and that mapacho is  sacred medicine that should be treated with respect, and that one should cultivate a healthy relationship with it and only smoke it occasionally, intentionally and consciously.

He seemed to be at a loss of what to say, and tried to justify his mapacho use as if it's normal. I told him how I felt about second hand smoke, and that I didn't want to inhale the smoke from someone who is using mapacho in an addictive way.

He then began, "revealing his cards". He said he felt disrespected because of my tone of voice when I told him to keep it down at night; this happened when I first came here. He also said "I wanted to know how he feels", which I never did. I told him I already forgot about it and he never communicated this to me. He then said something like "I don't pretend to be some powerful curandero, I will never be a curandero." I interpreted this as a reference of how he feels about me and asked him to clarify why he is saying that, he didn't know what to say and just looked at me. I told him to speak with more awareness and choose his words consciously.

We talked a bit more and the conversation ended with a prolonged silence. I then brought my dishes to the sink to wash them, and just when he was about to leave the kitchen, he broke the silence with something like "you are judging my mapacho smoking". I reiterated that I was trying to make a point about how I feel about addictive mapacho use among pasajeros and that it affects other people, such as myself, who inhale second hand smoke.

He then lost it, and "put out all of his cards on the table". He said these things: "Your problem is that you think you're so clever." "Your problem is you don't want to be dominated, that is your problem." "Your problem is that you feel superior to me, that's your problem." "You think you're some God."

I told him that I am the most clever and the most intelligent. I told him "I am God", and I told him that "the Truth is that I am superior to him." He was mumbling more on his way to his tambo within my earshot, in the end, I told him "be quiet boy."

There has been some drama between me and this man, but we have settled it, by him approaching me, and asking me for a conversation. During that conversation, that we had prior to this exchange, I told him I admire his strength and kindness about approaching me for a conscious conversation to clear things up between us. He said that he respects me and I told him the same. He also said "I try not to make waves and I'm just trying to heal my cancer." during that conversation.

So what are the lessons for me from this?

When another man feels that I am more powerful than he is, that man feels threatened, because deep down, this man knowns that the only thing there is to do is to surrender to me, who is more powerful than he is. Well, to surrender is a man's greatest fear, it means to give up control, to surrender the ego, which was cultivated during an entire man's life. And that is the greatest fear that I have faced during my Ayahuasca ceremony on August 3rd, 2017 in the beginning of my journey with the medicine. I screamed a scream of sheer terror and surrender as I rapidly and absolutely lost all control. The Truth is, only God is in control.

So what does a man do in such a situation? Denial, ignorance, judging, pretending, playing games, lying and manipulating, dominating, violence, disrespect, running away, distraction etc. A man does everything in his egoic power to deny the Truth that he has met a man more powerful than he is.

Mr S. was planning on staying here for another three months, but I don't think he will stay here much longer. Nonetheless, things just got a lot more interesting.

 

 

 

Edited March 30 by Vladimir

[Vladimir]

The Healing Power of Love is Working it's Magic on Me

Went for a walk today in the jungle with Roger ( in Spanish this name is pronounced as "Roher" ) He showed me an ancient and giant Ayahuasca vine and a giant renaco tree. We also found some sweet and sour passion fruits. I was working on being conscious of my body as we walked and worked on the areas of the body that feel weak and painful, in a similar way that I do in the morning. What I noticed, when doing this while walking, is that my body wants to move in a more fluid and a wild animal kind of way. Being aware of my body and listening to to it's intuitive guidance is guiding me towards a more harmonious, flexible, dynamic and beautiful movement, which also strengthenes the body and let's the chi flow through the body, which has multiple health benefits like healing the pain and energizing the body.

I took a shower after the walk, it's hot and humid here so I was drenched in sweat. After the shower Maria was waiting to give me massage. Maria comes here every Sunday to offer people massage for 100 soles or about $26 dollars. Her energy and hands are magic, I feel so much love emanating from her, I was moaning in pleasure the entire massage session, though I also cringed in pain because there is a lot of pain in my body. She mentioned that I am very sensitive and that I have hands and feet like that of a new born baby. I told her that I have been reborn, so I am like a new born baby. I will be getting massages from her every Sunday.

After the massage, I took the sweetest nap and slept like a baby. I have been feeling amazing after waking up - peaceful, joyful, full of life, love and gratitude. I have been processing a lot of deep emotions with tears of joy and laughter for the last few days and I am really feeling the effects now. I feel like I am more connected to my heart than ever before and I am feeling the joy of love emanating from my heart and healing my entire body with love.

I am receiving new medicine songs every day and my heart and voice are opening with the mastery of love. I am embodying more power, love and joy everyday and I feel more peaceful and able to bask in the awe of my magnificent being in the present moment. My mind is clear and peaceful, I feel like I can "do nothing" for hours and enjoy myself fully in the being mode.

 

Edited April 1 by Vladimir

[Vladimir]

Piñon Colorado and Mapacho as Additional Shamanic Allies 

Maestra came by my tambo today and told me they will put "hamaca" in my tambo, she had to use other words and hand gestures, until I understood that "hamaca" means hammock. She told me I will start drinking Piñon Colorado tomorrow to help with imagination, visions and dreams. With this addition my dieta will be Piñon Colorado, Renaco and Piñon Blanco. 

Maestra recommended that I start working with Mapacho to cleanse, heal, and protect myself. She also recommended that I use Mapacho to send healing energy and loving thoughts to my beloved.

Two other pasajeros, a couple, came to AyaMadre today, they will be staying here for a week.

Breakfast, lunch and dinner is now being delivered to my tambo. 

Edited April 2 by Vladimir

[Vladimir]

Rekindled Faith of True Friendships and Community 

I have been going to the river nearby to swim after the ceremony to cool down because my body gets hot under the effects of the medicine. Ayahuasca awakens very powerfully in me at this time, even with a small dose, and I am moving and processing a lot of energy and emotions. Diving into the river yesterday, after the ceremony was a great joy and an amazing way to balance out all the heat of the fire element that I was working through during the ceremony. 

My body still felt like I had open wounds after a spiritual surgery even after the swim, I felt exhausted. So, what a gift it was to experience a bonfire, which they build here at AyaMadre every Friday night. This was a properly built bonfire, around 7 feet tall, and they didn't have any trouble starting it, despite the rain just minutes prior to start time. 

This was my first time coming to the bonfire here, I didn't feel connected to the kinds of people that were here when I first came here and I didn't feel like being around them or socializing. This time it's very different, the couple that came about week ago and another guy that's here, I was able to connect with these three and it has rekindled my faith that good people still exist. The couple left this morning, so it's just me and Mr. B now, who I have connected with, and Mr. S who I had a conflict with. 

Things are fine now with Mr. S because he said some good things during the integration and even thanked me for pointing out the importance of smoking mapacho consciously and respectfully. 

The traits that I am looking for as a requirement for me to have any interest in people as potential friends are: respect, kindness, intelligence, open mindness, non-violent communication, love, awareness, consciousness. Also, people that I would most likely connect with have to drink Ayahuasca and we have to have ceremonies together with integration. That is the best way that I know of to build real connections and community. We have all of that here at AyaMadre, in addition to living together and seeing each other everyday which is another important aspect in building true friendships. 

I have received much healing by connecting to the fire. I focused on my stomach's area and especially the sacral chakra of the hara. I felt like the fire was purifying and healing my body on very deep levels that I wasn't able to touch before. My open emotional, spiritual and mental surgical wounds felt like they were being healed and sealed by the heat of the fire element that was awakening in my body. This felt like Divine Mother's caress of warm, loving, gentle joy and I was quietly moaning of pleasure. I feel like I have received the much needed fire element to balance out the water element in my body. 

Today was beautiful, I haven't felt so peaceful and joyful in my entire life and this is only the beginning. Mr B. and I are going to the city tomorrow morning, I want to buy more cacao and get a haircut and a few other things. 

Edited April 7 by Vladimir

[Vladimir]

Divine humor

[Vladimir]

I Love to Get my Quality Sleep

Tonight is the second night in a row when I wake up because I hear someone talking, it's most likely Mr. S. talking on the phone, his tambo is near mine and I often see him talking on his phone during the day, I'll ask him about it tomorrow. I get angry when my sleep gets disturbed by people, I love to get my quality sleep at night. I go to sleep around 7pm - 8pm here and wake up around 5am - 7am, I feel like my body is attuned to the natural rhymes of going to sleep when it gets dark and waking up at the light of day. It takes me a while to calm down and fall back asleep when my sleep gets disturbed in this way. The time is 11:43pm as I'm writing this. I will now be connecting to manateen, elk and panda spirit animals that help me alleviate anger and try to get sleep.