Monogamy vs Polygamy?

[Julian gabriel]

I am in my first Monogamous relationship now but i feel very trapped because i’m not allowed to do anything with other women. 

I would like to get as many perspectives as possible on the difference between Monogamy and Polygamy. 

I really like the girl i’m with a lot but i also really don’t wanna be with ONLY her, the problem is she won’t be with me whatsoever if i’m being polygamous.

[Israfil]

Is she worth giving up every other person? That's the single point you should contemplate. No one can solve this for you.

[Danioover9000]

@Julian gabriel

On 2023-04-12 at 9:28 PM, Julian gabriel said:

I am in my first Monogamous relationship now but i feel very trapped because i’m not allowed to do anything with other women. 

I would like to get as many perspectives as possible on the difference between Monogamy and Polygamy. 

I really like the girl i’m with a lot but i also really don’t wanna be with ONLY her, the problem is she won’t be with me whatsoever if i’m being polygamous.

   A polygamous relationship to me is higher in the Spiral Dynamics stage of development, at stage green where the hippies and new agers are at. Monogamous relationships are mostly SD blue to orange, and have their historic roots in stage purple/red/blue societies, for example like arranged marriages between powerful families and kingdoms and dynasties and empires to symbolize an alliance between the two empires, and for gain of power fortune and status amongst it's kingdoms for example, which get's echoed down the hierarchy to the peasants and servers below the high families and royalties throughout history. Religion caught on to how powerful the sex drive is(because if you look at Abrahamic religions, and their codes of conduct, ethics and morality you'll find that if you undo all of them, that's the majority of tribalism and tribal warfare, along with how pagans behaved throughout the regions at SD purple/red.). After the pre industrial to industrial Era, the Victorian Era relationships were mostly traditional more so than conservatives, because religion and the governments then wanted to modal male citizens to act in certain socially acceptable ways, to indoctrinate social norms for traditional males to play the social game and show how socially safe they are to the potential wife's family and friends, and deprogram and control against Jackass Andrew Tate like behaviors, and vice versa for women they want to control for a socially acceptable traditional woman to be the provider and care taker of the husband's future children, so religions and states indoctrinated for that certain traditional female gender roles in those societies in those time periods. After the Victorian Ear, and post Industrial revolution, and the downfall of religious power, such as separation of church and state and the flourishing of science and atheism, is where we start seeing more freedom of expression, liberalism, more laisse faire towards relationships and eventually the rise of PUA and the mystery man methods in cities.

   In the case for polygamy, it's tricky because it gives a nice justification for cheaters to cheat and have affairs with more than one woman because of the biological imperative(SD stage beige) of males on average to reproduce as much as possible the genomes inside of themselves, which influences the psychology of the average males and females, from individual to collective mass psychology, to societies and cultures.

   What you should've done is communicated to her that you're more sexual active earlier in the relationship implicitly, and tested her boundaries a bit and see if she's a match for your preferences. otherwise you've set yourself up to sour this relationship later.

[The0Self]

Here's the whole thing with that:

A relationship can bring tremendous fulfilment, and there are 3 main aspects of the relationship that contribute: life (success; children; career), sex, and love. A LOT of women (and men) settle for either: a. love and life, b. love and sex, or c. life and sex. But some want it all... And sometimes, it's hard to have all 3 of those... all in the same person. Although of course, while almost anyone would prefer to have all of those with the same person... for some people, the person who could qualify as that is exceedingly rare.

Edited April 18, 2023 by The0Self

[Roy]

On 4/12/2023 at 1:28 PM, Julian gabriel said:

I really like the girl i’m with a lot but i also really don’t wanna be with ONLY her

Clearly you don't like her as much as you think you do. Otherwise you be content and wouldn't be questioning the framework of monogamy.

You have buyers remorse now that you're invested, and/or your little ego's selfishness is bubbling up to your thoughts.

Edited April 18, 2023 by Roy

[M A J I]

You can never go as deep with many woman as you can with one woman. Many in the spiritual circles wanted to be all hippie and free but eventually they realize this is not the way to the depths of love and union. It becomes a complicated mess and mixture of too many energies.

It becomes a question or battle between heart/soul and ego/mind. What you feed is what you get.

[flowboy]

@Julian gabriel Ok so can you imagine another dick going inside her while you’re waiting at home for her to return from a date and be cool with that?

Like have you thought this through at that level?

What you want is possible, I’ve done it, but not from a naive unempathetic frame of mind.

[integral]

Are you at clubs and around women you can seduce every week? 

Monogamy doesn't match up with your life style. 

People are in relationships with others that match up with there life styles.

I don't like socializing much so im with someone who also doesn't want to socialize and stay home, we don't like making new friends or meeting new people its all draining and in the end a waist of time. 99.9% of what people say is uninteresting. 

Edited April 18, 2023 by integral

[puporing]

poly relationships take massive consciousness from all parties involved to work imo, and shedding of old beliefs. it can work if it's more about unconditional love over other things, which means you've already burned through the neediness karma to a great extent. and at that point when you're not so needy, it's more based in friendship anyway. you also have to embrace to some extent the gender you are not normally attracted to because that could be your partner's partner at some point, hence the massive amount of consciousness required.

and that's what makes it hard coz there aren't many very conscious people around to choose from in this particular plane of existence, esp not young people. basically, probably not going to happen so the best you can prob arrive at is opt for some lesser ideal version of poly or stick with mono.

Edited April 18, 2023 by puporing