What happens when you lie about your feelings?

[Jannes]

I lied about my feelings for a person for a long time. I felt strong love but repressed it. What does this do to you? How does it damage the relationship towards that person? 

It might have caused some strong anxiety attacks and depression in me.   

[trenton]

Repressing your feelings can tear your life apart. It can lead to intense self judgement, bodily tension, and it can easily sour your other relationships due to the damage caused to yourself.

It causes a lot more than anxiety attacks and depression. It can reach the point of constant suicidal thoughts, paranoia, muscle spasms, speaking on tongues, memory loss, racing thoughts, sleeping problems, and much much more. You may be driven to taken medicine, but it is a band aid on a festering wound. Repressing our emotions is a root cause of mental illness that medicine often fails to cure.

I want you to be free and happy. It can be scary to let your feelings flow, but look at the alternative of repressing your feelings. Being truthful seems like the better option for your mind, your body, and your relationships.

[Buck Edwards]

The best option is to be clean and honest about how you feel to avoid potential disruptions and misunderstanding. 

 

[Jannes]

@Enlightement @trenton thanks for the tips

Yeah it's just really hard for me to trust somebody that they won't hurt my feelings. The girl was really into me and I would have talked to the girl about it but I had immense fear that she would tell other people about what I wanted to tell her privately because that kinda happened before or that if I fell for her in a relationship that she would be abusive and that I wouldn't have the strength to get out of there. And so I stopped the feelings I had for her. I hurt myself so much with this (and her as well of course because she didn't know what was going on which hurt me as well because it hurts me to hurt her). Another girl had interest in me recently. She basically threw herself at me for me to take her. But I couldn't do it. The thought of deeply connecting with someone makes me want to throw up. I don't know how to recover from this. 

Edited April 11, 2023 by Jannes