100+ approaches. No results. Does it even work?

[koops]

1 hour ago, something_else said:

Cold approach isn't how most people get laid, you should bear that in mind. Most people get laid through social circle, or going out to bars and clubs. If you really want to get laid those are honestly better starting points for you.

Exactly. Cold approach was the most popular thing, but the least effective.

It can be brutal, especially in the beggining and if you do it alone. You have to make game as fun as possible. You are not in the military or studying for an exam.

Ask yourself:

-How can I make it more fun?

-How can I put myself in an easy position to get laid?  (lone wolf cold approaching in malls as a newbie IS NOT the best thing. Is close to the worse option). 

Joining different social circles (dancing classes, yoga, workshops, hobbies...), going out with your friends to bars & clubs, joining  puas in your town and doing nightgame, going to Ibiza/Mallorca a couple weeks in summer/vacation)
Also you can try tinder if you are decent looking, but you NEED GOOD photos, solid text game and knowing how to run a date.

 

The best place start is to go out with your friends/puas. Get drunk, let loose. That would make it easier in the beginning, hell, even learn some openers, or some lines for critical moments (like pulling or handling female friends).

Once you fuck 1 girl, things will get easier and your confidence will skyrocket.

 

You can try to 'master' cold approach but that is the hard long road and not the right timing.

You can still go for it, but focus on putting yourself in favorable conditions and forget by now about 'mastery'.

Go for the short term lay.

 

 

Edited April 11, 2023 by koops

[Karmadhi]

@assx95 Why dont you try online dating? It is the easiest way to get dates imo, just do a photoshoot, get tinder platinum and problem solved.

You will probably get a few dates from it at least and maybe even a lay  

[Karmadhi]

On 10/04/2023 at 2:07 PM, Leo Gura said:

It's worse than that. Pickup requires delusional levels of optimism. Beyond anything reasonable or logical. Science itself is your enemy. You have to take on science and beat it to death with a baseball bat.

May I ask what was your motivation to do pickup when it is so hardcore instead of getting results via more traditional ways like social circle, events, group parties etc?

[pablo_aka_god]

If you keep trying eventually some girls will start replying to your messages, after that most will die in texting but you will eventually will start getting dates, most dates will be bad specially when you have little experience but if you keep pushing eventually will start getting some good dates.

In order to be able to push through such a long process you need to enjoy it. Try as much as you can to enjoy it and eventually it will start working. and you will remember such process as one of the coolest/best things you have done in your life

[something_else]

On 11/04/2023 at 3:35 PM, koops said:

Exactly. Cold approach was the most popular thing, but the least effective.

It can be brutal, especially in the beggining and if you do it alone. You have to make game as fun as possible. You are not in the military or studying for an exam.

Ask yourself:

-How can I make it more fun?

-How can I put myself in an easy position to get laid?  (lone wolf cold approaching in malls as a newbie IS NOT the best thing. Is close to the worse option). 

Joining different social circles (dancing classes, yoga, workshops, hobbies...), going out with your friends to bars & clubs, joining  puas in your town and doing nightgame, going to Ibiza/Mallorca a couple weeks in summer/vacation)
Also you can try tinder if you are decent looking, but you NEED GOOD photos, solid text game and knowing how to run a date.

 

The best place start is to go out with your friends/puas. Get drunk, let loose. That would make it easier in the beginning, hell, even learn some openers, or some lines for critical moments (like pulling or handling female friends).

Once you fuck 1 girl, things will get easier and your confidence will skyrocket.

 

You can try to 'master' cold approach but that is the hard long road and not the right timing.

You can still go for it, but focus on putting yourself in favorable conditions and forget by now about 'mastery'.

Go for the short term lay.

 

 

Yes, I agree. You can try to make cold approaching at a mall fun but realistically it's always going to be pretty miserable which is a huge part of the problem. You should find things you enjoy doing that also have a lot of women around, then the whole process becomes a lot more natural.

Also, there are very few girls who are going to hear that you are cold approaching a hundreds of girls weekly at a shopping mall and think 'yea I want some of that'

It's somewhat an indicator of low value to being with.

Edited April 12, 2023 by something_else

[The0Self]

@assx95 If you’re a happy / fun / interesting guy that can hold your frame, she will fall into that frame. Over-confidence is required for this. Big-time vibe-changes will occur in you before you’re successful, so don’t expect success until that happens. That doesn’t mean your personality has to change… unless you’re not a confident person, in which case your personality will definitely have to change.

Do you know what game means? Game means: selling yourself to the girl without being needy and without any reservation. Without any reservation — that’s critical to understand.

Not thinking, as most guys fundamentally do, that she’s the salesman who already won your buy.

It’s almost like you’re an honorable and scrupulous con man. Con man -> Confidence man — contagious confidence that rubs off on the girl and thus makes her more confident… not less! I think some guys guess that it’d be more effective if you made her intimidated and not confident — NO! If anything you’d only want to make her intimidated by your contagious confidence. Unintentionally giving her an inner sense of permission to comply with your lead.

Confidence = lack of reservation.

Even though he has nothing to do with game, he’s probably in the world’s top 5 experts and wizards of human persuasion and influence, so I’ll quote Chase Hughes — “Permission, not persuasion.”

 

So give yourself permission to be 100% confident (without reservation) in everything you do — and let that permission be contagious. It really is “fake it till you make it” for almost everyone who becomes successful in this… unless: they give themselves absolute permission to be authentically 100%-without-reservation right now.

Edited April 13, 2023 by The0Self

[Noahsteelers34]

@Sleyker I can tell you watch fearless man… I did a few workshops with them. Their great

[Dauntment]

On 4/9/2023 at 1:01 PM, assx95 said:

It is frustrating that I put in week after week approaching. I don’t even get dates. Forget lays. I do daygame at malls. I have zero women in my social circle. My work hours are 12 to 9 on weekdays. With 2 hrs travel. I game only on the weekends. 
 

Every week feels like starting from scratch. I end up doing 10-15 approaches every week. I got 3 number closes so far. But none of them bothered to respond, either to text or call. I am a 27 M virgin and sometimes I contemplate just getting an escort but it feels like it would shatter my self worth knowing that I can’t even get one girl to sleep with me. I am that bad at this. 

How long does it take? Will it take years to master this? My patience is running out. I would happy with getting a date but even that seems unlikely given how every girl just isn’t interested enough. 

I haven't read what the other vermin that are replying in this thread have said (jp all jokes), but:

To save you some time/improve your efficiency

1. How is your physique? Not to say you need to follow the Alpha Male/Red Pill notion of "6 pack = 6 bishes at the same time" but appearances certainly make a mark

2. How is your ENERGY? Quantity is peanuts if your Quality isn't worth a damn. Are you TRYING YOUR BEST and EXERTING yourself with each women are simply throwing a mere "Uh...Hi, my name is X..and I...uh, think you look nice......" What are you offering? If a girl meets you, what experiences can you imagine having with you? Being a LEADER & CREATOR. Otherwise, its like a sh*t business offering a sh*t product then complaining about no customers lol...Change your offering!

3. Bro, **** the numbers. Focus less on the numbers and more on the experiences/growth/Truth. This is not a video game lmao, its not like the Universe is going to say "Ok, you've accomplished 200 approaches, you have unlocked: 1 free bl**job" LOL. You're looking at this like an "event" with a deadline rather than a "process/vision" that you are consistently cultivating, refining and improving. 

4. Lastly, keep your head bro. I have no idea who you/what you look like/what you do/etc. but the vibe from your message seems...."weak". You gotta be comfortable BEING yourself first. 

[StarStruck]

Pickup is an art, not a science. You just need to whip out your personality and start playing like in the schoolyard back in the day. Game is play.

So if you are heavy hearted about the subject, you are not getting the play. People don't want to play with people who don't know how to play.

You don't need game. You just need to know how to play. Most people learn this in kindergarten. The ones who do, don't need to study "game". They learn through play and gain mastery in the process, not as an aim but as a byproduct of the process..

And the thing is that you can't learn play through a book. You either are autistic and just have a deficit, or shit happened to you and you need to decondition yourself so you can be playful again.

"Learning game" is mostly deconditioning yourself, not conditioning yourself; subtraction instead of addition. Most guys who get laid, don't need to learn pickup. Ask yourself why.

Edited April 13, 2023 by StarStruck

[Sleyker]

@Noahsteelers34 How did they work for you? Did you notice any changes? Yes I do, their content resonates so much with me

[Noahsteelers34]

@assx95 @Sleyker They worked well. They take you out in public and make you do a bunch of social freedom exercises, then on the second day is all approaching. Then you work with their models and they correct your energy. They record you and make you watch it in front of everyone. In terms of attraction, they have some of the best stuff out there. I ended up getting laid the same night during one of the workshops even though I had almost no experience. 

This just goes t show you it's not about how many approaches you've done. Spontaneous shenanigans happen when you're in courage, this means you're showing up fully and you want to be there because you're enjoying yourself.  The goal of your approach shouldn't be getting laid or getting a girl but enjoying it as an end in of itself.  How can you turn approaching as something you enjoy doing, something that excites you, not as a chore you have to do to hit a certain number of approaches? 

Also, throw out the word approaching. You are not approaching or doing pickup... You are being social.  And stop listening to everyone here trying to convince you that its super difficult or terrible. You could literally meet a girl today and have her turn into your girlfriend. You are already good enough you just need to get out of your own way.

Edited April 13, 2023 by Noahsteelers34

[Sleyker]

@Noahsteelers34 Word brother. Wish I lived in the states to do a workshop with them, but it doesn't matter I'll do it by myself, little by little

[assx95]

Thanks Guys! I will keep taking massive action and consciously improving my game!

[integral]

Exercise at the gym before doing pick up, right away in the morning, this will change your hormones and therefore change your state.

The entire problem is your in the wrong physiological and psychological state.

Emotional state is wrong. 

When your feeling good, confident and playful you win. That's it. 

Get into the right state. 

---

This is why people drink alcohol at parties. Changes state, makes you more relaxed and yourself, a lot easier to get laid. But I don't recommend alcohol, learn to do it with natural methods like exercise, right foods, good sleep. 

Edited April 16, 2023 by integral