100+ approaches. No results. Does it even work?

[assx95]

It is frustrating that I put in week after week approaching. I don’t even get dates. Forget lays. I do daygame at malls. I have zero women in my social circle. My work hours are 12 to 9 on weekdays. With 2 hrs travel. I game only on the weekends. 
 

Every week feels like starting from scratch. I end up doing 10-15 approaches every week. I got 3 number closes so far. But none of them bothered to respond, either to text or call. I am a 27 M virgin and sometimes I contemplate just getting an escort but it feels like it would shatter my self worth knowing that I can’t even get one girl to sleep with me. I am that bad at this. 

How long does it take? Will it take years to master this? My patience is running out. I would happy with getting a date but even that seems unlikely given how every girl just isn’t interested enough. 

[Raze]

Try getting coaching, they can tell what mistakes you are making.

[MarkKol]

Don't be in such a hurry, get to ~500 approaches. You'll do it eventually.

You're whining about not being able to persevere but ironically perseverance is the thing that will get you laid.

[nhoktinvt]

the mistakes are : 1.not being persistent 2.not going to better place for approaching 3.being creepy 

-guy with 20+ approaches

[Ulax]

@assx95 Id recommend starting to field report. That way you can ensure that your engaging in deliberate practice rather than aimless practice. In my opinion, the channel karisma king has some good videos regarding field reports. See YouTube for this content.

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08sXxIx6ots
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=050mAG7O4LY&list=PL76nuCstxs7jpcbJ3B5Cbrs7-4gTwjBWF&index=1

try the “How to get her number” video here https://davidtianphd.com/masterclass-content/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKYyWNloS0M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sONFIwy-_Qo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWZUyPr-igM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMChZC2fopI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovS27WQU5-g

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twTrrGiRXtY

 

Edited April 9, 2023 by Raze

[assx95]

Thx guys! Seems like perseverance is the way to go. And like one of my friends said - you got to love the process 

[Sleyker]

Hey man @assx95, how do you feel when you approach them?
Do you feel light, playful, happy, loose? Do you feel like a sexy bastard while talking to them?
Or do you feel heavy, not funny, you see it as a job, as something you have to do? 

Nothing wrong if it's the latter, just notice that, ultimately ALL that matter is how YOU feel when you talk to them. If you're happy and having fun, they'll probably get attracted.

If it's the case that you're feeling heavy while approaching, then approach strangers and ask them for the time, directions and so forth, or just go around saying hi to people and MOST IMPORTANTLY: Open yourself up while you say hi, look them in the eyes, find something in the person that you appreciate and say hi from there, see how you can affect people with your mood. Once you get good at that and you start noticing how people respond to you when you feel heavy vs when you feel light, then start approaching girls and doing the whole thing.

I'm telling you brother this is the key, it's a slow process, fall in love with it, it's a hell of a journey.

[assx95]

3 minutes ago, Sleyker said:

Hey man @assx95, how do you feel when you approach them?
Do you feel light, playful, happy, loose? Do you feel like a sexy bastard while talking to them?
Or do you feel heavy, not funny, you see it as a job, as something you have to do? 

Nothing wrong if it's the latter, just notice that, ultimately ALL that matter is how YOU feel when you talk to them. If you're happy and having fun, they'll probably get attracted.

If it's the case that you're feeling heavy while approaching, then approach strangers and ask them for the time, directions and so forth, or just go around saying hi to people and MOST IMPORTANTLY: Open yourself up while you say hi, look them in the eyes, find something in the person that you appreciate and say hi from there, see how you can affect people with your mood. Once you get good at that and you start noticing how people respond to you when you feel heavy vs when you feel light, then start approaching girls and doing the whole thing.

I'm telling you brother this is the key, it's a slow process, fall in love with it, it's a hell of a journey.

Gotcha! My best approaches were one where I was relaxed and went in with zero expectations. And just was without much filters. The difficulty is that the mind isn't always in this flow state. And most of the times, the mind is tense and cluttered, and there's this anxiousness which builds up which does show up when i approach. 

[Majed]

@assx95 if you've watched leo's series, he said that it takes 450 approaches to get your first lay. try to do 30 instead of 10 approaches a week, and be patient. the most difficult phase of game is the beginning, it takes a while to become smooth and effortless with women. don't do it for the dates, do it for the learning and the growth. this is how the dates and lays will come. good luck

Edited April 10, 2023 by Majed

[Roy]

Cold approach is one of the harder if not THE hardest ways to get results and get laid. You have limited opportunity to communicate your personality, your value, and build rapport with women because of the circumstances of approaching women while they are working or walking on the street going about their day. Even if you get good and witty, most of them aren't going to care about some guy asking for their number. You can talk for 10 minutes but really you're still just a stranger that showed up randomly and it won't click for most of them to be bothered to want to invest in a date.

The only thing that's good about cold approach is it's free and it builds a lot of confidence and experience. You don't have to be going to school, at your job, or paying to be in a club or bar.

I'd recommend expanding the places you are meeting women so you get more bang (results) for your buck (investment). Online dating and parties with friend groups are good places to cut to the chase and make things happen if that is what you are after.

You might get laid 1/100 cold approaches which could take a huge amount of hours, while you might get laid 1/10 parties for less than half the time spent.

When I used to party as a young adult I could find some girl to fuck in about 25% of the parties I went to if I really wanted it, and my game has never even been that good. I was a shy introvert then and still am now. You just have to stay focused and remind yourself not to overthink. This isn't rocket science, there are billions of humans. If that many people can get results then of course you can to.

Edited April 10, 2023 by Roy

[EdgeGod900]

Bro this is really strange. I assume you are a foreigner and you're trying to attract Americans. If this is the case, you really need to know the culture. There is this thing called "riffing," look it up and get good at that. It'll make you so much more fun and can help you pass shit tests.

 

Dude make some white or black American guy friends(not the nerdy ones), and learn how to "riff" and that should honestly get you girls bro. 

If you don't even know how to riff with american guys, then good luck finding a girl that will date you lol.

Edited April 10, 2023 by EdgeGod900

[Leo Gura]

Pickup has an insanely steep learning curve. You have to be irrationally optimistic to succeed. Any doubt, negativity, or weakness in your attitude will fuck you up.

Same as business.

Edited April 10, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Vrubel]

15 hours ago, assx95 said:

It is frustrating that I put in week after week approaching. I don’t even get dates. Forget lays. I do daygame at malls. I have zero women in my social circle. My work hours are 12 to 9 on weekdays. With 2 hrs travel. I game only on the weekends. 

Why not pick up during your commute, of course, if you pass on a daily basis some busy centers and stations that will be ideal. Don't just focus on malls, you will burn them out quickly and you don't want to feel like the village/mall idiot. As a beginner, you should do long city walks as for maximum anonymity and room to fuck up. 
 

15 hours ago, assx95 said:

Every week feels like starting from scratch. I end up doing 10-15 approaches every week. I got 3 number closes so far. But none of them bothered to respond, either to text or call. I am a 27 M virgin and sometimes I contemplate just getting an escort but it feels like it would shatter my self worth knowing that I can’t even get one girl to sleep with me. I am that bad at this. 

How long does it take? Will it take years to master this? My patience is running out. I would happy with getting a date but even that seems unlikely given how every girl just isn’t interested enough. 

Don't judge yourself or beat yourself up, you're taking action! Being good at day game is a powerful life skill, a superpower really. It's not some frivolous gimmick to get laid, respect the process. The beauty of pick up is it's not really about getting laid, it's about one of the most real forms of self-development there is. If you don't get some freak luck, (and this happens too in this field). Only in a few years of consistent action, you'll get to a level where you can get girls somewhat consistently. 

Your vision should be somewhere along these lines: Yeah, in my twenties I didn't pursue girls but I still got my 30's (and beyond) for amazing girls and relationships, I will use the rest of my 20s to solidify this skill for consistent results and great confidence in my 30's.

Edited April 10, 2023 by Vrubel

[evgn]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Pickup has an insanely steep learning curve. You have to be irrationally optimistic to succeed. Any doubt, negativity, or weakness in your attitude will fuck you up.

Same as business.

That is the best advice i've ever heared, you have to be irrationally optimistic, OMG that would be very helpful for a guy like me who is very logical and scientificly orriented. Thank you!

[Leo Gura]

@evgn It's worse than that. Pickup requires delusional levels of optimism. Beyond anything reasonable or logical. Science itself is your enemy. You have to take on science and beat it to death with a baseball bat.

Luckily for you, hots girls are not very scientific nor rational

Edited April 10, 2023 by Leo Gura

[evgn]

6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@evgn It's worse than that. Pickup requires delusional levels of optimism. Beyond anything reasonable or logical. Science itself is your enemy. You have to take on science and beat it to death with a baseball bat.

Luckily for you, hots girls are not very scientific nor rational

That would be very helpful for me in my pursuit of personal development. So you are saying me that actulized.org exists because you were delusional enough to believe?

Edited April 10, 2023 by evgn

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, evgn said:

So you are saying me that actulized.org exists because you were delusional enough to believe?

Of course! Haha

This is not license to be stupid though. You must be intelligent and pragmatic about actualizing your dreams.

Edited April 10, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Tech36363]

@evgn Owen cook during infields when he faced rejections propped himself up by saying to himself "1000/10 no one would even do that" and over time his brain wired in such a way that when he faces rejection he starts getting better. I use this technique as well

[something_else]

Cold approach isn't how most people get laid, you should bear that in mind. Most people get laid through social circle, or going out to bars and clubs. If you really want to get laid those are honestly better starting points for you.