How to not be envious against my friends academic success?

[Ves]

I have some advice, maybe. I spent high school playing video games and didn’t decide I wanted to go to college until I was 19 or so. I went to community college for math while working part time, saved a lot of money, then transferred into one of the best universities for pure mathematics in the US (probably top 15). So: all hope is not lost if you really want to go to a good college. This option is probably better, too.

Now, this only worked out because I made a 4.0 in community college, and I am not sure this is possible for everyone, particularly in math. It does require some innate talent. You should be able to do well enough, though, even if you don’t get into a top university. Just do as well as you can and apply to transfer later. You shouldn’t have FOMO; the events will happen to you too, just later.

Though, I still feel the way you do, sometimes. I think I want to go into academia, and there are insanely cracked people that learn an unreal amount of (say) modern algebraic geometry as a high schooler. One in particular I saw is teaching a course in K theory as an undergraduate, while also taking a ton of graduate classes every semester. There are always better people to compare yourself to.

Each of us can only do the work we can do, though. I am sure you can continue on in community college, make friends, transfer into a university, and have a similar experience. 

[Jacob Morres]

Sat scores don't track intelligence 

Like maybe ur a bad test taker. Or maybe you have resistance to studying. Or making u have strengths somewhere else. Etc. It doesn't track anything inherent 

 

[Hardkill]

On 4/10/2023 at 5:34 PM, Leo Gura said:

You are focused in the wrong thing.

SATs have no bearing on whether you will build a fulfilling life.

That is why more and more top universities and colleges have been dropping the requirements for SATs or ACTs.

but why do a lot of gifted children generally score high on the SATs?

[Husseinisdoingfine]

3 hours ago, Hardkill said:

but why do a lot of gifted children generally score high on the SATs?

That’s precisely what I’m thinking about.

[Jacob Morres]

28 minutes ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

That’s precisely what I’m thinking about.

high sat scores, ime, are more about quality of your work ethic

*which is some personal combination of*

vision, self-confidence, self-competence, good practice material, good practice strategies, tutors, and a support group

 

there is some statistic out there, that is like the more practice problems you do, the higher your sat score is. let me try to find it

edit: here

 

it's all work ethic my friend. u can do it too ^^

Edited April 12, 2023 by Jacob Morres

[Bobby_2021]

3 hours ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

That’s precisely what I’m thinking about.

Because gifted kids have high IQ and SAT has scores are closely coorelated with IQ.

Also people with high IQs tend to earn a lot more than people with low IQs over the long run. 

[Husseinisdoingfine]

1 hour ago, Bobby_2021 said:

Because gifted kids have high IQ and SAT has scores are closely coorelated with IQ.

Also people with high IQs tend to earn a lot more than people with low IQs over the long run. 

What what does this say about me? That I have a low IQ?

[Ves]

1 hour ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

What what does this say about me? That I have a low IQ?

I think it is correct that SAT scores are fairly correlated with IQ. You can practice to increase your score, though.

When Leo said that SAT scores dont affect how fulfilling your life is, I think he meant that this is independent of IQ. Meaning that you should refocus your goals to have the best/most fulfilling life you can and not stress over how low your IQ is. I doubt its below average anyway, if you made it through a high-school education and did decently. You might as well pick any other attribute you have that isn't in the top 1% of the population and stress about that.

[Bobby_2021]

On 4/10/2023 at 10:04 PM, Bobby_2021 said:

Good scores say that you are smart. Bad scores don't say anything at all. It's that simple. Plenty of people study hard and improve their standardized test scores and that can be done. That doesn't mean that they were dumb to begin with. They were not conscientiousness enough. 

@Husseinisdoingfine I already explained. The answer is no. Instead of wasting your skills in academia I would rather suggest you use it to build an awesome life for yourself.

[Basman]

Comparison is inevitable, but you can use it that envy to take greater ownership of what you want. 

You can't really change your envy without addressing what exactly it is that you want. Make it an explicit goal then break it down into actionable steps. How can you work towards your goal today? 

Sometimes we just lack perspective. You might think that you should've gone to college yesterday, but that is simply not the case. We all lead different and unique lives. Another person's life doesn't say much about your own necessarilly.

One positive of starting college later is that you start when you are more mature and more clear on what you want. When you are 20-24 year old, you're still very much inoculated with your childhood mentalities. 

[Bobby_2021]

1 hour ago, Ves said:

You can practice to increase your score, though.

This is true for any IQ test. If you practice it again and again you can improve your scores. It doesn't mean your actual IQ is improving though. 

It's also adding work ethic and Conscientiousness into the mix both of which are brilliant predictors of future success. 

[Ves]

15 minutes ago, Bobby_2021 said:

This is true for any IQ test. If you practice it again and again you can improve your scores. It doesn't mean your actual IQ is improving though. 

It's also adding work ethic and Conscientiousness into the mix both of which are brilliant predictors of future success. 

Sorry, I meant you can practice the SAT to increase your score. That‘s all that really matters for the colleges :-).

[Jacob Morres]

Check out the book mindset by Carol dweck. She debunks the idea of IQ in it. Here's the excerpt 

In "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success," psychologist Carol Dweck explores the power of two distinct mindsets - fixed and growth - and their impact on achievement, success, and personal fulfillment. Dweck asserts that individuals with a fixed mindset believe their abilities and intelligence are static, while those with a growth mindset understand that they can develop and improve through effort, learning, and resilience. By embracing a growth mindset, people can overcome setbacks, maximize their potential, and achieve greater success in various aspects of life, including education, relationships, and professional endeavors. Ultimately, the book emphasizes the transformative potential of adopting a growth mindset and offers practical strategies for fostering this outlook in oneself and others.

 

[Ves]

42 minutes ago, Jacob Morres said:

Check out the book mindset by Carol dweck. She debunks the idea of IQ in it. Here's the excerpt 

In "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success," psychologist Carol Dweck explores the power of two distinct mindsets - fixed and growth - and their impact on achievement, success, and personal fulfillment. Dweck asserts that individuals with a fixed mindset believe their abilities and intelligence are static, while those with a growth mindset understand that they can develop and improve through effort, learning, and resilience. By embracing a growth mindset, people can overcome setbacks, maximize their potential, and achieve greater success in various aspects of life, including education, relationships, and professional endeavors. Ultimately, the book emphasizes the transformative potential of adopting a growth mindset and offers practical strategies for fostering this outlook in oneself and others.

 

I don’t think this debunks IQ so much as it debunks learning that your IQ is some number and then deciding to never try learning anything because you feel its worthless to try.

I do think it’s wise to be honest about the realistic paths you can take in life given your capacities (IQ being one type of capacity). You just shouldn’t decide to never learn anything because you (incorrectly) assume its impossible for you to do so.

 

[Jacob Morres]

3 hours ago, Ves said:

I don’t think this debunks IQ so much as it debunks learning that your IQ is some number

i agree

 

3 hours ago, Ves said:

I do think it’s wise to be honest about the realistic paths you can take in life given your capacities (IQ being one type of capacity)

in this specific context, it's best to understand OP's situation, personality, work habits etc. before determining IQ deficiencies

IQ almost completely lacks nuance or holism

Edited April 12, 2023 by Jacob Morres