I don't dare express my anger

[Fadious]

I have difficulty expressing my negative emotions, especially anger. I fear that I will upset others, even if they did something that deserves a negative reaction from my side, my mind comes up with a million justifications for their bad behavior, and I suppress myself from expressing my emotional reaction in order not to make them feel hurt. Maybe I also fear that they will come back with an argument that shows that my reaction is unwarranted and unfounded. I don't know why this has been a theme throughout my life, I suspect it is rooted in my childhood and having a volatile angry and aggressive father (no physical violence though, he hit me three times in my life, but I've seen him hit my mom around six times throughout childhood) 

Why does this keep happening even in situations where the stakes are not high? How can I change this? 

[John Paul]

What is it that you are specifically looking to change?

[universe]

Look up "Nice Guy" behaviour.

You have such a deep craving for approval, that you rather suck it all up than risking to make someone angry or not like you.

There is an underlying fear that you won't get approval and that you won't be safe.

[Thought Art]

Over Coming Anger: When it Helps and When it Hurts

[Bando]

@Fadious you have an issue setting boundaries with people start there, also look into physical outlets like, martial arts, sports, or weight lifting

[Loving Radiance]

 @Fadious It keeps showing up in these situations because life (parents and caretakers, siblings, "friends") conditioned you since childhood and teenage years to act that way. It's usually a deeply imbedded pattern which is hard to redirect even when you are conscious during these situations.

it can also be anger towards yourself because you go over your own boundaries by (seemingly) allowing people to do as they please.

When starting out on the journey of expressing repressed emotions, watch out for feeling overly chaotic inside and feeling that these emotions are too much for you. Perhaps even thoughts of self-harm and suicide can come up in order to avoid feeling these repressed emotions. That shows that the steps taken towards expression were too big. Make tiny steps. They will suffice for processing and you feeling free after some emotional work.

[M A J I]

Suppressing anger will be 1000x more worse than release it but you don't need to release it to others, you release in your own time. Buy a punching bag, go into the forest and scream, be with the earth, dance, release, stomp your feet. At times meditation simply won't cut it.

Then after you have released and come back to yourself, then you go and address others on your experience and set boundaries.