Emotions in relations

[HMD]

How do you guys deal with people that are not able to regulate their emotions and project those emotions on you (especially anger)? 

I have noticed that this projection can have slightly traumatic effect on the person being projected on (people say crazy shit when angry), even if the person being projected on is fairly emotionally stable.

Answers like cutting them off are great, but in the heat of the moment, you have to regulate your emotions while responding to the other in a way that ensure their cessation of projecting emotions. 

[universe]

You have the responsibility to distance yourself from such people.

You can agree with them or use Nonviolent Communication to deal with it in the moment, when you did not distance yourself enough.

Also if that happenes often and with different people, it could be that you carry anger in yourself. Which in turn triggers anger from others.

[HMD]

 

17 hours ago, universe said:

Also if that happens often and with different people, it could be that you carry anger in yourself. Which in turn triggers anger from others.

I am very neutral with regard with emotions. If emotions come up, I can regulate them. I notice that when people see a vacuum, they try to project on it and fill it with their own emotions. usually people tend to show their grief and pain, but every now and then I see outbursts like these, usually from people who confuse neutrality and calmness with weakness. 

17 hours ago, universe said:

You have the responsibility to distance yourself from such people.

Right. 

[Brandon Nankivell]

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How do you guys deal with people that are not able to regulate their emotions and project those emotions on you (especially anger)? 

Depends who it is.

My father rarely projects his anger on to me but the last time it happened, I quickly confronted him by walking up to him, looked him directly in the eyes, and asked him what the issue was in an attempt to understand him. A few back-and-forths later and we came to a place of understanding and the anger died off. He apologized. He had made an assumption that I locked him out of the house on purpose, which is what my Mother used to do to him when they had an argument.

An ex-co-worker on the other-hand, I didn't anticipate anger coming from him at me and I decided to handle it like a coward. Went into fear, didn't say much back, tried to get the job done, then suppressed the anger then quit my job instead of working things out.

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you have to regulate your emotions while responding to the other in a way that ensure their cessation of projecting emotions.

I'm learning that there's no need to ensure they cease projecting emotions, that is outside of my control, but I still will attempt to encourage them (directly or indirectly) to calm down, so a productive encounter can ensue.

 

Edited April 6, 2023 by Brandon Nankivell
Wrote the same thing twice

[HMD]

 

On 4/6/2023 at 7:39 AM, Brandon Nankivell said:

there's no need to ensure they cease projecting emotions,

But you have to set boundaries, especially if you are going to be interacting with that person repeatedly. This is what I meant by ensuring their cessation of projecting emotions. Not immediately, but in the long run.