Inside The Mind Of An Extremely Dis-Agreeable Person

[Adam M]

Inside The Mind Of An Extremely Dis-Agreeable Person.

Hey guys,

I'm not trying to show off or anything...

But according to this test here https://www.truity.com/test/big-five-personality-test:

I score in the "0th percentile" on the trait of agreeableness.

(that means that out of every 100 people... I am less agreeable than 99 of them) 

And my friends, family & I weren't very surprised to hear this...

Why am I like this?

Ever since I was young...

I always had this vague feeling that everybody else is stupid.

And this wasn't just once in a while...

It was all the time.

My parents would even call me "a grumpy bug" because I always had a stick up my ass about something.

Why was I so grumpy all the time?

It was a question that I asked myself a lot...

"It's not that I'm grumpy! It's just that the way other people do things is SO STUPID!"

After years and years of self-reflection... learning about psychology, personality types, my unique gifts and interests... and comparing the way my mind works to other peoples'....

I've gone very deep into understanding the essence of disagreeableness and I'd like to share it here:

• I doubt everything.
  • I need to see & test for myself how something works before I just blindly believe what another person says.
  • examples:
    • "Don't cross the road here! You'll get hit by a car!" (oh yeah? what if I do it like this *proceeds to cross without getting hit by a car*)
    • "Did you know that anteaters have 3 toes?" (oh yeah? cool! where did you learn that from? can you show me a picture?)
    • "God created the Earth in 7 days" (interesting take... but wait a second... who made God?  — I actually asked my kindergarten teacher this and she was dumbfounded.)
       
• I am always searching for alternative ways to do things
  • If everyone takes the left path... I take the right path "just to see what will happen"
  • this cognitive function is called extraverted intuition/sensing in MBTI and it is always asking the question "What if?"
    • "What if instead of doing it the way we've always done it... what if we tried doing it a new way? What would happen? Let's see!
    • This is an INFORMATION GATHERING function... I want to see a problem/puzzle from as many perspectives as possible to understand it holistically.
       
• I'm insatiably curious.
  • I often walk around my neighborhood "tasting" the leaves from the trees just to see how they taste.
  • I naturally take ideas and concepts and break them apart... exploring into all of their corners and nuances just because they're fascinating to me.
  • I often find myself wandering into random corners and cubbies in my neighborhood just "to see what's over here."
     
• Inquiry
  • The spirit of disagreeableness is inquiry... asking questions.
    • What if?
    • What would happen if?
    • Is that the right way?
    • What if you're wrong?
    • Are you sure?
    • Can we prove it?
    • How do you know?
       
  • I want to LEARN about how things work.
  • Because somewhere deep in my soul I know that by learning about the patterns of life, mind, science, and nature... I'm really learning about the Nature of God... and how God manifests itself into Infinitely many forms in such an intelligent and ordered way.
     
• "I'm an agent of Chaos."
  • A line from the Joker in Dark Knight.
  • Something about that Joker character really resonated deeply in my soul...
  • He wanted to CAUSE CHAOS to break up the status quo... because even though the status quo is safe and comfortable... it's one big fat delusional mess of bullsh*t... pretty much just institutionalized corruption... with a smiley-face sticker over top.... a way for selfish devil's to make themselves think that they're angels.
  • The joker just wanted to EXPOSE the SELF-BIAS, and the SELF-CONTRADICTION and CORRUPTION in the minds of the criminals, police-officers and even in Batman.
  • He didn't want money or status or fame... he just wanted to watch the world burn. The force of Shiva. The destruction of all constructs... (a metaphorical forest-fire that burns the trees to the ground... leaving nothing but fertile soil for new ones to spring up)
    • Chaos is the thing that Order is trying to protect from.
    • There's a forest near my house that looks like God put it into the washing-machine. It's all twisty and distorted and chaotic... with rocks and branches and trees strewn about every which-way.
    • I LOVE that forest because there are no rules when I'm there... there's no norms or standards or organizations that I have to adhere to.
    • I can just let my mind be free. And that's when the duality of Chaos and Order collapses into an incestuous Unity... because really... what is chaos? does it even exist...? Not really. There's only Order with a capital O. But you can only see the Order with a capital O by going THROUGH Chaos... not avoiding it.

 

I hope that you enjoyed my contemplations on the idea of disagreeableness. Feel free to disagree with me in the comments below... because disagreement is how we get to the Truth... disagreement allows us to strengthen our ideas... and realize that TRUE "disagreement" stems from asking questions... from a child-like desire to just know Reality as it actually is. Because Reality is SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL that I want to know how it actually is. Because how it actually is is 1000000x more beautiful than any human-made pre-conception or story about how it is. How it actually is is too beautiful to put into words. That's why we break words down into their component parts... so that they're seen to be standing on a groundless ground. Every concept that you have about how you think reality is is just a house of cards that is glued together with spit and bubblegum. With just a little bit of inquiry... your house of cards quickly crumbles and you're left with nothing to stand on except Being. And oh my fucking God... Being is miraculous.

[Leo Gura]

Beauitful.

Just don't disagree with me

[Zedman]

I feel the same way. My father thought me this idea of ''plebs'' and i see everyone as plebs all the time and myself as noble thinking. I know its bad and its fading away as I am aware of it. And I share all of your points but it has nothing to do with being disagreeable.

I doubt everything, I do things in alternative way, I am curious, I am inquiring and I am chaotic. This is not only my opinion this was pointed out to me. None of that makes me 100% disagreeable. It must be quality of its own.

 

[Adam M]

@Leo Gura Thanks! 

[Epikur]

@Adam M

So I will be a bit bad faith here for the sake of argument: You basically want to be a psychopathic terrorist and kill people for no reason. Is this right?


 

[Adam M]

2 hours ago, Zedman said:

 

Thanks for sharing this...

Perhaps I'm using the wrong technical definition for the trait of agreeableness...

But I don't really like how this chart describes agreeableness as someone who has "a great deal of empathy" ...

I really enjoy serving and helping others... and I also feel pain when others around me feel pain.

I think it would be more accurate to say...

Are you willing to sacrifice someone else's feelings for the sake of truth? Or are you willing to sacrifice truth for the sake of someone else's feelings?

No right or wrong answer here... there's pros and cons to each temperament.

Edit: And upon further thought... isn't the desire for truth just the Love of Reality? I love reality so much that I want to see her naked 

Edited April 1, 2023 by Adam M

[Epikur]

7 minutes ago, Zedman said:

I feel the same way. My father thought me this idea of ''plebs'' and i see everyone as plebs all the time and myself as noble thinking. I know its bad and its fading away as I am aware of it. And I share all of your points but it has nothing to do with being disagreeable.

I doubt everything, I do things in alternative way, I am curious, I am inquiring and I am chaotic. This is not only my opinion this was pointed out to me. None of that makes me 100% disagreeable. It must be quality of its own.

 

Don't you think that in many cases you just don't have the skills to be agreeable without losing your identity? At least in my case it was the case. After having some social skills I could navigate better in social settings without having to be rough on the edges. 

[Epikur]

Just now, Adam M said:

Thanks for sharing this...

Perhaps I'm using the wrong technical definition for the trait of agreeableness...

But I don't really like how this chart describes agreeableness as someone who has "a great deal of empathy" ...

I really enjoy serving and helping others... and I also feel pain when others around me feel pain.

I think it would be more accurate to say...

Are you willing to sacrifice someone else's feelings for the sake of truth? Or are you willing to sacrifice truth for the sake of someone else's feelings?

No right or wrong answer here... there's pros and cons to each temperament.

I think I am also disagreeable. For me truth is also very important. I guess it was a psychological calculation where truth seemed to give me more back than being in a tight team with my family and friends.

[Adam M]

3 minutes ago, Epikur said:

@Adam M

So I will be a bit bad faith here for the sake of argument: You basically want to be a psychopathic terrorist and kill people for no reason. Is this right?


 

Thank you for asking.

No I don't want to be a psychopathic terrorist. I don't even kill insects because I have a very high regard for Life.

The reason why I related to the Joker is because of his desire to break apart the status quo... I don't need to burn down buildings to do that... I can do that in a civilized way (such as making YouTube lectures that call into question common assumptions and false beliefs of culture).

I gain enjoyment from exposing other people's self-biases (and of course I am always interested to see how I justify my own biases to myself).

You can actually do someone a huge service in their life by helping them to question and break apart old limiting beliefs and negative thinking patterns that keep them stuck in toxic patterns and habits in their lives.

Destruction is not a negative force. It can actually be a very positive thing (relative to your survival agenda) to have old outdated ideas DESTROYED so that they can be replaced with more helpful and true ideas. 

There's positive and negative manifestations to each of these extremes of personality traits.

The negative extreme of being 100% agreeable would be "So you just want to be a spineless doormat that allows others to manipulate and deceive you with their own bullsh*t agendas? You don't want to be an individual with your own unique needs?"

 

[Adam M]

Keep in mind... being a little bit psychopathic is not technically a bad thing.

Sometimes you need to say "screw how other people feel... I need to do what is right for ME!"

That doesn't give you permission to HURT and RAPE other people... (as an extreme psychopath would)

Because if you're being truly HONEST and AUTHENTIC with yourself...

You'll realize that hurting other people isn't what you actually want.

If you think you want to hurt another person... that's just because you haven't realized yet that that action hurts yourself.

But sometimes you need to STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. And solve your OWN NEEDS. 

You'll find that sometimes asserting your individuality and not taking other people's bullshit is actually a very helpful thing that can inspire and activate others to take care of their own needs and be more independent.

Edited April 1, 2023 by Adam M

[Epikur]

13 minutes ago, Adam M said:

Thank you for asking.

No I don't want to be a psychopathic terrorist. I don't even kill insects because I have a very high regard for Life.

The reason why I related to the Joker is because of his desire to break apart the status quo... I don't need to burn down buildings to do that... I can do that in a civilized way (such as making YouTube lectures that call into question common assumptions and false beliefs of culture).

I gain enjoyment from exposing other people's self-biases (and of course I am always interested to see how I justify my own biases to myself).

You can actually do someone a huge service in their life by helping them to question and break apart old limiting beliefs and negative thinking patterns that keep them stuck in toxic patterns and habits in their lives.

Destruction is not a negative force. It can actually be a very positive thing (relative to your survival agenda) to have old outdated ideas DESTROYED so that they can be replaced with more helpful and true ideas. 

There's positive and negative manifestations to each of these extremes of personality traits.

The negative extreme of being 100% agreeable would be "So you just want to be a spineless doormat that allows others to manipulate and deceive you with their own bullsh*t agendas? You don't want to be an individual with your own unique needs?"

 

Well suddenly you sound very agreeable. Boring stuff I heard a million times.

[Epikur]

9 minutes ago, Adam M said:

Keep in mind... being a little bit psychopathic is not technically a bad thing.

Sometimes you need to say "screw how other people feel... I need to do what is right for ME!"

That doesn't give you permission to HURT and RAPE other people... (as an extreme psychopath would)

Because if you're being truly HONEST and AUTHENTIC with yourself...

You'll realize that hurting other people isn't what you actually want.

If you think you want to hurt another person... that's just because you haven't realized yet that that action hurts yourself.

But sometimes you need to STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. And solve your OWN NEEDS. 

You'll find that sometimes asserting your individuality and not taking other people's bullshit is actually a very helpful thing that can inspire and activate others to take care of their own needs and be more independent.

Why should I agree with that? You write generally accepted stuff. If you sell your wisdom then try to destroy your own text here and show a bit more substance. 

[Epikur]

Btw I do not want to attack you but do a bit rougher sparring. If it is too much I will dial down.

[Zedman]

@Adam M @Epikur I just contemplated this topic and recalled my interactions. Its super tricky. I am actually very disagreeable. Its all about how you express your disagreeableness. I would validate your opinion that I disagree with only to gain your trust and then try to sneakily change it from that position. This is why test shows I am agreeable while I am actually not. I am 2-faced incarnate of satan lol.

24 minutes ago, Adam M said:

Are you willing to sacrifice someone else's feelings for the sake of truth? Or are you willing to sacrifice truth for the sake of someone else's feelings?

I am very careful with other peoples feelings. If I offend them they will never accept my disagreement. I rememeber arguing with flat-earther. First thing I did I said you might be right and then I argued against it from their POV. So again disagreeableness can be emphatic or non-emphatic. its a thing on its own.

[Adam M]

5 minutes ago, Epikur said:

Well suddenly you sound very agreeable. Boring stuff I heard a million times.

Maybe I'm so disagreeable that I disagree with being overly disagreeable.

 

2 minutes ago, Epikur said:

Btw I do not want to attack you but do a bit rougher sparring. If it is too much I will dial down.

Not really in the mood atm. Maybe another time

[Adam M]

Just now, Zedman said:

@Adam M @Epikur I just contemplated this topic and recalled my interactions. Its super tricky. I am actually very disagreeable. Its all about how you express your disagreeableness. I would validate your opinion that I disagree with only to gain your trust and then try to sneakily change it from that position. This is why test shows I am agreeable while I am actually not. I am 2-faced incarnate of satan lol.

I am very careful with other peoples feelings. If I offend them they will never accept my disagreement. I rememeber arguing with flat-earther. First thing I did I said you might be right and then I argued against it from their POV. So again disagreeableness can be emphatic or non-emphatic. its a thing on its own.

Excellent! Yes, as an ENTP it's not that I have NO REGARD for other people's feelings... in fact.. the best debaters are able to "slide" their ideas in there in such a charming way that the other person doesn't even realize that they are being disagreed with! You can't change somebody else's mind if they feel that you are against them. It's important to be able to relate to the other person's feelings so that you can argue your POV "from the same side of the table as them" so to speak.

Plus, at the end of the day... everything I speak about and "argue for" is all about helping to improve other people's quality of life. All I care about is helping other people... and when I hear bullsh*t ideas and philosophies that aren't very empowering or helpful... I'll tear them to shreds. For the sake of others overall happiness and well-being.

[Leo Gura]

@Epikur Stop trolling him please.

[Epikur]

 

Just now, Leo Gura said:

@Epikur Stop trolling him please.

Ok I am out. It seems I am too disagreeable.

[Zedman]

@Adam M Thank you mentioning socionics. Just took a test. Wierd. I used to be INTJ when I checked ages ago. After spirituality and self development journey, apparently i am ESTP now. Removing fear changes so much.

On the topic of disagreeableness its funny on how 2 disagreeable people agree with each other so much

[Adam M]

@Epikur Hehe <3