Shame around mastrubation

[at_anchor]

I ordered a stupid chastity cage and it was a mistake. I didn't notice it was from a BDSM shop on ebay. Now it cannot be cancelled and I'm ashamed of a postman coming, calling me out to take this thing and then carrying it back home. People will think what a perverted and untamed crazy and hypersexual retard I am.

[Yimpa]

People have all kinds of kinks and fetishes (me included), nothing wrong with that.

[at_anchor]

@Yimpa I don't have a fetish for that at all. At all. I don't have it at all! I feel repulsed by it. Maybe I had it in the past, I can't remember clearly. I doubt I knew what that word stands for.

[Yimpa]

1 hour ago, at_anchor said:

@Yimpa I don't have a fetish for that at all. At all. I don't have it at all! I feel repulsed by it. Maybe I had it in the past, I can't remember clearly. I doubt I knew what that word stands for.

Doing something embarrassing, whether it’s intentional or not, is actually a great way to grow and not take life too seriously. 

This is something I’ve been practicing lately. Practice intentionally exposing yourself to situations you believe are embarrassing, then see what happens. 

[lostingenosmaze]

@at_anchor What did you order a chastity cage for if it's not for BDSM or fetish related purposes? Were you planning to use it for NoFap, I don't understand

[at_anchor]

1 minute ago, lostingenosmaze said:

Were you planning to use it for NoFap

Exactly. When I can't sleep, I end up fapping. When I am tired, alone, frustrated and so forth I just do that. It is an addiction I have left from my childhood and it comes from basically a lack of purpose and a terrible lifestyle with a lot of unmet needs, or I don't know. I had some success twice with no fap challenges going over a month and so forth, but in my current circumstances, I can only lock it away.

[Osaid]

Are you really gonna let something so silly bother you so much? Look at it from an outside perspective.

Furthermore, the only reason you care what people think is because you're delusional. You're not gonna stop people from assuming things. You don't have control over what people think and you never will.

It doesn't matter if they have their own chastity cage. It doesn't matter if they're a serial killer. It doesn't matter if they themselves are horrible people. People will judge you for dumb shit, even if they also do dumb shit. See the absurdity? And you're deciding to play their game and hop around like a monkey trying to avoid their judgement. Have some love and respect for yourself. 

You're worried about ghosts. You don't even know these people. You don't even know if their opinion matters. You don't even know if they're even thinking about you or judging you, you're just assuming they do! Hell, the event that you're worrying about hasn't even happened yet, it literally does not exist, and yet you're panicking about it. It's because it's all YOU judging YOURSELF. All the time. You use "other people" as a proxy to judge yourself and feel bad about yourself. 

This is a funny situation. Just laugh at it. Laugh at the absurdity. Be playful about it. The universe is like a comedian on a stage, you can decide to heckle (resist) or enjoy it and play into it (surrender).

Edited April 3, 2023 by Osaid

[Brandon Nankivell]

Are you seeking assistance to overcome the shame?

[Zigzag Idiot]

My 2 cents

 

\Shame is a weapon used by power hungry as well as  insecure people to manipulate others. 

Stratagize at owning your sexuality and being comfortable with it. This takes effort over time in pondering

Don't let others divide you against yourself.

[integral]

On 4/1/2023 at 11:22 AM, at_anchor said:

postman coming, calling me out to take this thing and then carrying it back home

Its in a box no one will see what's inside.

Shame will diminish over time the more experience you have with shame. 

 

[at_anchor]

Thank you for all the wisdom. I'm hopefully gonna get this soon and it will mean end to my mastrubation if I even get the right thing.

[Dauntment]

On 4/1/2023 at 11:22 AM, at_anchor said:

I ordered a stupid chastity cage and it was a mistake. I didn't notice it was from a BDSM shop on ebay. Now it cannot be cancelled and I'm ashamed of a postman coming, calling me out to take this thing and then carrying it back home. People will think what a perverted and untamed crazy and hypersexual retard I am.

Here is a perspective/experiment: You're creating a imaginary scenario where that may happen. If it does, and people see it, so what? I like to think that Shame stems from a rejection of Truth.