How do you deal with insatisfaction?

[lizz_luna]

I have identified this as one of my core wounds. There is this idealistic/unrealistic expectation of how life should be at all times, constantly rejecting my current reality and the present moment. I have tried mindfulness and simply observing the thoughts and emotions, trying to not identify myself with them, yet I continue to get trapped on them and this leads to a constant state of dissatisfaction with my life. It is never enough, there is always the next shiny object thing/situation/person that I don't have and therefore I want. I am starting to realize that this never goes away and you just live with it.

I don't know if it is the life that I am living that is not in alignment or is it just me rejecting everything. I try to balance both and accept what I am currently going through while working and pushing my limits to build a better life, work on myself, build healthy supportive relationships, connect with my divinity, nature etc.

How to find deeper understanding and acceptance of this never ending dissatisfaction with life? What is your perspective on this matter?

 

[Basman]

Sounds like unhealthy perfectionism to me. 

I recommend you read up on the concept of wabi-sabi.

Quote

In traditional Japanese aesthetics, wabi-sabi (侘寂) is a world view centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection.[2] The aesthetic is sometimes described as one of appreciating beauty that is "imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete" in nature.

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wabi-sabi#:~:text=In traditional Japanese aesthetics%2C wabi,%2C and incomplete" in nature.

Quote

According to Zen philosophy (Lomas, Etcoff, Van Gordon, & Shonin, 2017), wabi sabi rests on seven aesthetic principles:

Kanso — simplicity

Fukinsei — asymmetry or irregularity

Shibumi — the beauty of the understated

Shizen — naturalness without pretension

Yugen — subtle grace

Datsuzoku — freeness

Seijaku — tranquility

Key to all seven of these aesthetic pillars is authenticity. Unadorned naturalness is prized for its integrity, free of synthetic artifice. Beauty is expressed through the open display of flaws rather than their eradication. Compassion for ourselves and others, and acceptance of our vulnerability are also elements of the wabi sabi mindset.

Source: https://positivepsychology.com/wabi-sabi-lifestyle/#:~:text=Wabi sabi is a Japanese,of things in the world.

 

[NoSelfSelf]

Always finding things you are grateful for you have,affirming great things you already have,looking back from where you came from.

Having high standards is great and key to happiness, but wanting things fast and not appreciating the process hurts you,because process is what matters to get the the goal, focusing on goal itself is a distraction.

Quality of the inner progress of lessons that setbacks teach you, is so much more rewarding than the reaching of the goal itself.

 

Edited March 30, 2023 by NoSelfSelf

[Yimpa]

6 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Having high standards is great and key to happiness, but wanting things fast and not appreciating the process hurts you,because process is what matters to get the the goal, focusing on goal itself is a distraction.

Having high standards is tricky because if you’re not careful it can lead to being overly critical / judgmental.

[Jwayne]

On 3/30/2023 at 11:52 PM, lizz_luna said:

I have identified this as one of my core wounds. There is this idealistic/unrealistic expectation of how life should be at all times, constantly rejecting my current reality and the present moment. I have tried mindfulness and simply observing the thoughts and emotions, trying to not identify myself with them, yet I continue to get trapped on them and this leads to a constant state of dissatisfaction with my life. It is never enough, there is always the next shiny object thing/situation/person that I don't have and therefore I want. I am starting to realize that this never goes away and you just live with it.

I don't know if it is the life that I am living that is not in alignment or is it just me rejecting everything. I try to balance both and accept what I am currently going through while working and pushing my limits to build a better life, work on myself, build healthy supportive relationships, connect with my divinity, nature etc.

How to find deeper understanding and acceptance of this never ending dissatisfaction with life? What is your perspective on this matter?

 

Can you give an example?

 

Some forms of discontent are highly productive and beneficial. It would be regressive to reduce them.

Edited April 1, 2023 by Jwayne