Worn Out. Advice?

[alyra]

I"m very aware of the progress I am making so I know that it is worth it. but I feel impatient, There are some goals I want to be working towards but I cannot because some other goals need to be met first and I am not super excited about the midway. so I get tired and worn out, and I'm so unmotivated. I manage to make efforts towards me more immediate goals, and like I said there is considerable marks of progress all around. but I just feel so done with this. In my mind I have the idea of me having an independent life and I like that idea and I can see various paths to get there and I want those paths. but at the same time, I want to just idk somehow be in a situation where I don't have to work and someone else carries my financial burden because they enjoy having me around. like sure, a relationship, I admit it. what a codependent life lol. but I just wish I Could play my video games all day and not care about the world and just stop doing work.

 

 

when I had high anxiety it was really easy to do the hard emotional labor because the alternative was harder emotional labor. but ever since overcoming that anxiety, slowly I've been getting this weird sense of impatient frustration and I just... it's difficult finding that will to face the hard emotional labor. 

 

as I usually do. this is just a rambling of thoughts. there is no real point to me creating the thread except to put what is loose leaf and abstract in my head, into concrete words and a structured rant. the posting in and of itself is helpful in inspiring self-insight :3 but naturally any responses I Will find meaningful, and it's always a nice feeling to get attention from other humans :3

 

thanks for your time, dear reader. hope you found my rambling thought provoking or something :3

[Mediator]

Sometimes it is ok to not actively pursue towards anything.

If I understand correctly you have recently overcome your anxiety problem and that was hard work. Now you may just need to rest for a while. When you are ready to move forward in your life the motivation to do that will find its way to you.

 

[99th_monkey]

Theres two parts to your experience, the internal reality, and the external reality, they are a reflection of each other. if you pay attention enough one will show you the other, if youre stuck and stagnant if your outside world your stuck and stagnant internally as well. and vice versa.

take the time to reflect on your goals. simplify.  minimalism.  Make a grand goal no time limit on it. then allow for all your micro decisions to align with that goal in a time based fashion with an emphasis on NOW.  every decision should be in alignment with what it is you want. every little goal should be like a check list for your "master plan" .