The Validation Problem

[caesar13]

I know something, I feel I’m right. However, it’s not the same feeling I would get when I read the same thought process, and the conclusion, in a book. It always happened with a book, I don’t ask people of what I think, I’m very sure they are not interested in having discussions related to personal developement.

So how do I bridge that gap? Is that visible for me as I lack something? Is that “Confidence”?

[caspex]

Yeah I have the same problem. I know I am right but when I see others agree with me I feel even more confident in my view. I'd rather have the confidence without the validation.

[Ninja_pig]

You are probably smart to not have conversations with people who don't want to have them. I would say this is not an issue with confidence. If you are looking for some verification of your beliefs, try talking about them on this forum. I'm sure there are many people who would be willing to give their perspective on some of your ideas.

[withinUverse]

@caesar13 @Swarnim

Hello there!  I'm new around here... I was drawn to your post.  I tried to see if I could find out whether you two have started a public journal yet.  If you're struggling with something, maybe contemplating mainly with yourself could be a solution for you.  I'm trying my first public journal and in one session I found it will be valuable to incorporate it with the Actualized experience.  I validated something really important for myself.  

I specifically recommend it because you both say you are struggling with validation... but then you're directing your questions to other people to give you answers... which is persisting the problem because you're looking for validation from someone other than yourself... lol You're going to find out what is true for you isn't always true for others.  You need to find your own truth.  Take your questions and process them yourself... you can increase your consciousness without even being able to find an answer to your questions.  You'll achieve a state where you won't need validation, but my suggestion for you would be choose a strategic move to help you get their sooner.  If you don't trust yourself and your process yet, you can build these skills.  

[caspex]

@withinUverse thanks

[integral]

22 hours ago, Swarnim said:

Yeah I have the same problem. I know I am right but when I see others agree with me I feel even more confident in my view. I'd rather have the confidence without the validation.

I get exactly the opposite feeling, it puts doubt in my mind when anyone agrees with me. I must be completely wrong then because my perspective aligns with some other fool like me. People underestimate how deeply lost in non-sense everyone is. It could also be arrogance, i asses that i have better insight into the subject so if someone agree with me i know i must of missed something. 

Edited March 29, 2023 by integral

[caesar13]

@integral That might be correct, but since I don’t discuss things like these with other people I know I’m not sure there are fools around me.

[caesar13]

@Ninja_pig Even then I’d suffer from the problem of validation, as others have pointed out. So I’d go for a few days trusting what I think.

Anyways, I do not have any problems discussing my views on something. It’s that I’m stifled due to lack of validation that’s bothering me.

I feel I’m right, but I don’t do it or believe in it until I see or read it somewhere else. This is stupid, I know.

[withinUverse]

@Swarnim

[caspex]

15 hours ago, integral said:

I get exactly the opposite feeling, it puts doubt in my mind when anyone agrees with me. I must be completely wrong then because my perspective aligns with some other fool like me. People underestimate how deeply lost in non-sense everyone is. It could also be arrogance, i asses that i have better insight into the subject so if someone agree with me i know i must of missed something. 

@integral I agree