Life Purpose Road Block

[optimize]

Hey Actualized.org guys!

I been encountering a ton of challenges (threshold guardians) to my life purpose recently. I been on my life purpose for around 3 years so far. I really feel I found it since a year ago. I can literally cry tears of joy thinking about it; I have journaled about my love about for it many times. I have also purchased Leo's life purpose course a year or so ago. Recently I find myself constantly re-watching Leo's videos and especially his life purpose content. I have been getting fearful of the unknown whether I will be able to fully realize my life purpose and make it sustainable (especially financially). I realize I have a faith and patience issue.

I have received external rewards from my life purpose such as some internet fame and money. I have monetized my life purpose by posting videos of my work on youtube and I have been getting ad revenue. I been able to grow my audience, work on my own projects I love, and watch my skills improve exponentially. I feel I am rocking my life purpose. But fears of how I am going to support myself is shaky as I am depending on ad revenue on youtube. I been trying to figure out other ways to monetize my life purpose but most of them seem not plausible to me.

Solutions I have thought of:

1. I thought about patreon (crowd funding basically) but my audience is mostly teens and kids (they got no money). In addition, my content is very high quality, short, and can take months to make. Youtube does not favor my type of content. I create animations. Don't ask for my channel. I rather stay anonymous! I also have fears of sharing who I really am with people and showing them my work even though I'm super proud of it. I know I have problems of attachment, how people think of me, and dependent on results. I know I have tons of stuff wrong with me. Doing this life purpose stuff, really makes it all apparent.

2. I am also currently a student. I am studying computer science. But I have realized I don't love it. I should have tried to get an internship but I don’t have much motivation to do it. I feel like I would hate it. I rather just spend all my free time investing into my purpose and building career capital. I have committed myself to my life purpose. So this option would be to try to get a job with my computer science degree after I graduate and just work on my passion on my off time. I have been currently just working on my life purpose during summers and all the time I can spare.

3. Try to get a job within the area of my life purpose. I have thought about it. I feel I would get used and abused. I feel I would get used then get discarded. I want to have full control over my work. The type of animations I do is very specialized and I don’t know if I could get a job doing it. Yes I know I am coming up with a ton of excuses. I have a daily meditation practice 

My situation is kinda complicated and odd. I have no idea who to ask for advice so I turn to you guys. I feel confused and lost. I feel fearful. I feel like I am on a hero’s journey but scared out of my mind. I know all my problems are super petty in the right context. I know I should be really grateful for how fortunate I’ve been. But I just want it all to work. There’s so much uncertainty and I keep questioning my future. I keep trying to control what is not within my control. I try to practice detachment but I’m so dam attached to my life purpose and the outcome. Yes I know I have problems with faith, patience, and attachment. I also have problems with jealousy of other youtube channels. I think they create the most stupid stuff ever(not Leo - I love Leo’s stuff) but they are able to be financially well off. Yes I have watched Leo’s jealousy video many times. My feeling of jealousy have recently transformed into fear and uncertainty. They can make low quality stuff -> make a living where I pour tons of love and hard work and I fear for my life purpose’s financial stability. Yes I know the world is unfair and I'm super lucky to be alive. Yes I have problems with labeling people, complaining, being petty, self-absorbed. But I am mindful of it most of the time, I am constantly catching myself as I am writing this post, which I find it hilarious.

 

Any suggestions and thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

 

Hey Leo! Can you give me some advice? Since I purchased your life purpose course?  I am a hardcore self-help junkie and Actualized.org follower by the way. And will probably purchase all your future courses.

 

 

[Leo Gura]

@optimize Sounds like you're a creative guy (or girl). Sounds like you want creative autonomy too.

If that's the case, you need to leverage your creativity more. That's your money-maker right there. You can lean much harder on it. Whatever creative work you've done so far, start thinking of it as just the tip of the iceberg of what your mind is capable of. Don't limit your mind. You have some ideas of the kind of animations you wanna make, but it sounds like you're clinging to them too much. Be more open. Let your mind consider other bold possibilities within animation. Sit down and brainstorm 50 ways you could make animations which are fresh and interesting to you, but ALSO are marketable.

When you're first starting your career, you may not have enough career capital to have full creative autonomy. That's something you gotta work up to. You may have to sacrifice autonomy for a while to release some stuff which is marketable and financially viable.

Why can't you start a second channel which has popular animations, and then use that to funnel eyeballs to your more niche animations? Or find a way to make your niche animations really popular. Explore various styles, themes, lengths, etc. If you're gonna be an entrepreneur, you gotta learn how to feel the pulse of your audience. You cannot work only for yourself. You've learn how to generate value. And value is defined as something other people really want.

It sounds like you're lacking a foundation in marketing. You could go buy some marketing courses and learn the fundamentals so that you have a better idea of how to tailor your content to attract eyeballs. Also, don't limit yourself only to Youtube. Be more creative! Every fool and his grandma has a Youtube channel. You gotta push the envelop and explore many other avenues.

Also, invest more time perfecting your animation style. Find more of your own voice. This will set you apart from the crowd. You might need to invest more time just mastering your craft. In which case, maybe get a part-time day job and spend your nights practicing.

Remember that your best work will only come in 5, 10, 20 years. So don't get too hung up on any one thing right now. Explore your entire field more. Develop something truly original and inspiring. Then people will come.

Your jealously will go away when you turn inward and put all your energy into developing yourself and your craft. Forge a deeper connection with the love you have for your craft. That is your major advantage over everyone else who hasn't taken the LP course. You know your life purpose explicitly now. That is a huge advantage, but only if you use it.